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Friday, October 2, 2009
October 2, 2009 Friday Afternoon
I worked all day Wednesday and Thursday this week. Four days this week. As of yesterday I took over the warehouse. So now the responsibilities begin. Life around our house has been very tense. Stella was back at the vet yesterday because her sore is leaking fluid and she is now not walking on the leg at all. She was to get her stitches out today, now they have to wait until Monday. Of course it is because we gave her more house and Tony was letting her jump on the couch and chairs to be next to him. She was not to jump for at least 4 weeks. So she has injured her leg. So now, the house is in disarray again. Chairs are turned over and the couch and such is blocked off with fencing. Pillows everywhere for her to lay on. It is either that or lock her in a cage. Tony and I have been at each others throats. Between him not listening to me about her recovery and the fact he just won't help out around the house due to me being back at work has caused a lot of tension. We have been screaming at each other daily. Last night he told me to 'shut the fuck up, I don't want to hear your voice anymore, I can barely make it through the day with you anymore'. The only reason I am bitchin is because he just won't listen or take on any responsibility. He missed the turn even on the way to the vet yesterday. Where his mind is I do not know. Add in the computer problems and the fact I spent all day today backing up everything in order to possibly do a system restore and the new roof installation beginning Monday, life here sucks. I am so miserable right now I sometimes just break down and cry. I simply can not keep my work responsibilities, the house hold responsibilities and HIS responsibilities in my head and keep track of them all. It simply is too much. He even got the roofer appointment on the wrong day this week, thankfully we were home. What the heck. Going to make a nice dinner tonight and lay back and do nothing but watch TV tonight. Rainy day today in Milwaukee. Cold, and most areas got frost the night before. Guess winter is coming. No plans tomorrow but working on the computer and getting the yard ready for the mess of the tear off and new roof. Sunday my parents are driving into Milwaukee so we can all go to a dog walk. I even canceled today's lunch with the guys since I just couldn't see myself sitting at the table trying to smile and be nice to Tony with the feelings I have right now. Hope it gets better, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
September 29, 2009 Tuesday Night
Forgot my meds last night before bed for the first time.
Monday I went to work all day with my tenant. Worked my butt off and got home around 4:30 PM. By the time I got the dogs and house settled, then fed I was once again out the door to go to a meeting on HIV that started at 6 PM. Prior to my meeting Tony and I had to have a talk about his doctor visit today to a doctor regarding his testicles. He has always had a growth or what I would call 'not normal balls'. His one testicle is bigger than the other and you can't even feel the ball there is so much 'something' around it. Well, he goes in for surgery a week from Friday. He might even have to get a vasectomy at the same time depending on what they find. He will be down for a while he is told after the surgery for at least 3 to 5 days. Then no lifting and such for a couple weeks. So, here we go again. Went to my meeting. I was so proud telling everyone that since January I have not missed one dose or time taking my HIV meds. I usually take them at 10 PM prior to going to bed. By the time I got back from the meeting and watched a little TV we went to bed to watch the last show that started at 9PM. Turned off the TV shortly after the news started at 10 PM and went to bed. Did not sleep well. About 4 AM I got up and walked into the kitchen. Something made me look down at my pill container. Damn It! I screamed. My pills for that night were still in the pill container. I took them immediately. I was so mad at myself. I had done so well. I am told there is about a 2 hour window. The key is never to go below 95% compliance. So now that I feel I f#cked up I can never forget again. It bothered me so much I could not fall back to sleep and got up by 6 AM and just started my day. Got to work by 9 AM. Was very frustrated by 12:30 when I realized most of the day was over and I still had not accomplished what I wanted. The time goes so damn fast doing the work I am doing. I honestly blink and I have to end my day. I try to work 9 - 3, six hours. I don't want to over do it. I have found myself working until 4 PM a couple days because the day has just gotten away from me. I guess this is all good. Dropped off the tenant at the house and drove to the vet to get more special food for Barkley, and some more shampoo for his sores. Pulling into the garage I hit the side of it and made a big dent in the Mustang, the car we are trying to sell. Damn it. I was mad at myself but when I called Tony I reminded him he can not say much since he did the exact same thing to our.........65 Cadillac Convertible on Sunday pulling that back into our garage. Jeez. I always hate pulling the car into the garage with that huge Cadillac in it. I stay far away and have to back in, hence hitting the side of the garage on the passenger side. So, now I am done for the day. Put a frozen pizza in the oven and going to make a stiff drink. Actually I already am drinking that stiff drink. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Monday I went to work all day with my tenant. Worked my butt off and got home around 4:30 PM. By the time I got the dogs and house settled, then fed I was once again out the door to go to a meeting on HIV that started at 6 PM. Prior to my meeting Tony and I had to have a talk about his doctor visit today to a doctor regarding his testicles. He has always had a growth or what I would call 'not normal balls'. His one testicle is bigger than the other and you can't even feel the ball there is so much 'something' around it. Well, he goes in for surgery a week from Friday. He might even have to get a vasectomy at the same time depending on what they find. He will be down for a while he is told after the surgery for at least 3 to 5 days. Then no lifting and such for a couple weeks. So, here we go again. Went to my meeting. I was so proud telling everyone that since January I have not missed one dose or time taking my HIV meds. I usually take them at 10 PM prior to going to bed. By the time I got back from the meeting and watched a little TV we went to bed to watch the last show that started at 9PM. Turned off the TV shortly after the news started at 10 PM and went to bed. Did not sleep well. About 4 AM I got up and walked into the kitchen. Something made me look down at my pill container. Damn It! I screamed. My pills for that night were still in the pill container. I took them immediately. I was so mad at myself. I had done so well. I am told there is about a 2 hour window. The key is never to go below 95% compliance. So now that I feel I f#cked up I can never forget again. It bothered me so much I could not fall back to sleep and got up by 6 AM and just started my day. Got to work by 9 AM. Was very frustrated by 12:30 when I realized most of the day was over and I still had not accomplished what I wanted. The time goes so damn fast doing the work I am doing. I honestly blink and I have to end my day. I try to work 9 - 3, six hours. I don't want to over do it. I have found myself working until 4 PM a couple days because the day has just gotten away from me. I guess this is all good. Dropped off the tenant at the house and drove to the vet to get more special food for Barkley, and some more shampoo for his sores. Pulling into the garage I hit the side of it and made a big dent in the Mustang, the car we are trying to sell. Damn it. I was mad at myself but when I called Tony I reminded him he can not say much since he did the exact same thing to our.........65 Cadillac Convertible on Sunday pulling that back into our garage. Jeez. I always hate pulling the car into the garage with that huge Cadillac in it. I stay far away and have to back in, hence hitting the side of the garage on the passenger side. So, now I am done for the day. Put a frozen pizza in the oven and going to make a stiff drink. Actually I already am drinking that stiff drink. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
September 27, 2009 Sunday Night
Sunday morning I was up by 7 AM. After feeding the dogs, reading the Sunday Milwaukee Journal, and feeding the pond fish and picking up the dog dropping outside ... I made breakfast. Used up the last of the eggs and made french toast. Spent the morning walking each of the dogs around the block, except Stella. She is not ready for a walk yet. She does now have full run of the house and furniture. We do not let her outside yet without a leash because if someone walks by out front she goes nuts in the Volkswagen dogie window that the dogs can see through in the front fence. So we still are keeping her confined for another week. Maybe by next weekend I will be able to take her up the alley and back. She is starting to put some weight on the foot. Using it every once in a while. I am happy with the progress. She goes in Friday to get the stitches taken out. After the dogs were walked Tony and I took a drive in the 1965 Cadillac along the Milwaukee lakefront. We picked up some chicken noodle soup for his mom who is sick, and dropped it off at her home. We then went back to the lakefront and hiked down the paths and hills to the water. Quite a climb down as well as back up for an old guy like me. I was out of breath when we finally climbed the slippery slopes / cliffs back to the top. Tony slipped going down once and got mud all over the back of his clothes. We had fun. I like fall best of all seasons. The leaves are falling from the trees, you can hear them rustling on the ground, and it is cool during the day, and even cooler at night. Was a great hike through the woods and to the lakefront today. I hope to do more of that before it gets to cold. I think it is so peaceful in the woods in the fall, watching nature. After we got home we made burgers on the grill and now have settled in for the night of watching TV. Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sister will get watched. I will DVR Cold Case and Amazing Race.
Planning on working all this week, Monday through Thursday. Monday night I have a dinner meeting starting off an 8 month once a month meeting about HIV. I got in at the tail end of last years series of meetings. I want to catch them from the start this time around. It includes and nice dinner and who know who I might meet. Much less the information is always very important if I want to survive. Hope to write again by Tuesday night.
Planning on working all this week, Monday through Thursday. Monday night I have a dinner meeting starting off an 8 month once a month meeting about HIV. I got in at the tail end of last years series of meetings. I want to catch them from the start this time around. It includes and nice dinner and who know who I might meet. Much less the information is always very important if I want to survive. Hope to write again by Tuesday night.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
September 26, 2009 Saturday Night
Rough night last night.
Had a great lunch with the guys. Since two of them have been keeping my Mustang in their front yard to try to sell it in Racine, and the fact Tony had someone wanting to look at it on Saturday. We planned to meet them at their house Friday night in Racine and go out for dinner. After dinner Tony and I drove the separate cars home. I had deep fried shrimp for dinner.
This morning at 5 AM I woke up not feeling well at all. Made it to the toilet not knowing what I should deal with first, didnt know if I shoud shit or puck. Ended up switching off doing both for about a half hour. Shrimp do not taste good coming up. At one point I thought I was dieing. Must have been bad shrimp. Got back to bed about an hour later and slept until about 10 AM this morning. The dogs actually let me sleep in today. Spent the day just laying around the house watching a marathon of True Stories of Hollywood Husbands (or something like that). It was quite addicting to watch one half hour after another. Finally showered and went out to dinner at a local Italian restaurant down the street. Ate light, not knowing how food would feel, my less Italian food. Tonight we have just been watching TV and I have been writing back and forth to a High School buddy. His life makes my life seem good in comparison. Sunday we have no plans, good thing. Looking forward to laying around the house another day re cooperating.
Had a great lunch with the guys. Since two of them have been keeping my Mustang in their front yard to try to sell it in Racine, and the fact Tony had someone wanting to look at it on Saturday. We planned to meet them at their house Friday night in Racine and go out for dinner. After dinner Tony and I drove the separate cars home. I had deep fried shrimp for dinner.
This morning at 5 AM I woke up not feeling well at all. Made it to the toilet not knowing what I should deal with first, didnt know if I shoud shit or puck. Ended up switching off doing both for about a half hour. Shrimp do not taste good coming up. At one point I thought I was dieing. Must have been bad shrimp. Got back to bed about an hour later and slept until about 10 AM this morning. The dogs actually let me sleep in today. Spent the day just laying around the house watching a marathon of True Stories of Hollywood Husbands (or something like that). It was quite addicting to watch one half hour after another. Finally showered and went out to dinner at a local Italian restaurant down the street. Ate light, not knowing how food would feel, my less Italian food. Tonight we have just been watching TV and I have been writing back and forth to a High School buddy. His life makes my life seem good in comparison. Sunday we have no plans, good thing. Looking forward to laying around the house another day re cooperating.
Friday, September 25, 2009
September 25, 2009 Friday Morning
Gotta type fast since Tony will be home soon to take us to lunch with the guys. Wanted to get a quick post online.
Wednesday I worked all day again at the North location continuing to set up the warehouse. Wednesday night we went out for burgers and then stayed home and watched more of the new TV season with the DVR recording away all the other shows on different channels.
Thursday morning I had to go to Columbia St Marys hospital for my scheduled bone density scan, chest xray and hip xray. The chest xray was at my doctor's request. The other two were due to my request and interest. Got a call late yesterday that all the xrays and tests came back great. That is a relief. Guess the pain I feel is just old age and working hard. Got a chance to clean the house before leaving for a Board meeting at ARCW for the afternoon. Cleaned the house changing the set up with Stella's recovery. Now the furniture is fenced off but she has more run of the house. She is not allowed outside without a leash still and most rooms have gates at the doorways to keep her out. But she has much more room to move around and is much happier. Last night Tony let her sleep on the couch with him while we watched TV. The show Flash Forward was very good. Wonder how they will keep it up now. It is on again tonight and I recommend it. Now it seems we are in the cage with the furniture all blocked off and fenced in. Thursday night I got an email from a high school friend. Our 30th reunion is coming up November 7th. I have never been to one yet and debated about going to this one. I did not like high school much and do not have fond memories of it. I did buy tickets yesterday for Tony and I to attend. The email I received from my high school buddy was sincere and I spent this morning responding. I had not told him or my high school people I am gay. I crossed them all off my list of life shortly after leaving high school and in college. Wasn't worth it being such a red neck town that I was raised in. Should be interesting to get his response since I dated his cousin, yes a girl for 2 years in high school. Will they be shocked? Accepting? I will let you know. Briefly told him about my life but did not go into specifics when it comes to my HIV / AIDS.
Showered and ready for Tony to come get me for lunch. I might do some mixing of music this afternoon. I do have some things that should get done, but they can wait. I think I will make it a 'Dave day' and mix music this afternoon.
Wednesday I worked all day again at the North location continuing to set up the warehouse. Wednesday night we went out for burgers and then stayed home and watched more of the new TV season with the DVR recording away all the other shows on different channels.
Thursday morning I had to go to Columbia St Marys hospital for my scheduled bone density scan, chest xray and hip xray. The chest xray was at my doctor's request. The other two were due to my request and interest. Got a call late yesterday that all the xrays and tests came back great. That is a relief. Guess the pain I feel is just old age and working hard. Got a chance to clean the house before leaving for a Board meeting at ARCW for the afternoon. Cleaned the house changing the set up with Stella's recovery. Now the furniture is fenced off but she has more run of the house. She is not allowed outside without a leash still and most rooms have gates at the doorways to keep her out. But she has much more room to move around and is much happier. Last night Tony let her sleep on the couch with him while we watched TV. The show Flash Forward was very good. Wonder how they will keep it up now. It is on again tonight and I recommend it. Now it seems we are in the cage with the furniture all blocked off and fenced in. Thursday night I got an email from a high school friend. Our 30th reunion is coming up November 7th. I have never been to one yet and debated about going to this one. I did not like high school much and do not have fond memories of it. I did buy tickets yesterday for Tony and I to attend. The email I received from my high school buddy was sincere and I spent this morning responding. I had not told him or my high school people I am gay. I crossed them all off my list of life shortly after leaving high school and in college. Wasn't worth it being such a red neck town that I was raised in. Should be interesting to get his response since I dated his cousin, yes a girl for 2 years in high school. Will they be shocked? Accepting? I will let you know. Briefly told him about my life but did not go into specifics when it comes to my HIV / AIDS.
Showered and ready for Tony to come get me for lunch. I might do some mixing of music this afternoon. I do have some things that should get done, but they can wait. I think I will make it a 'Dave day' and mix music this afternoon.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
September 22, 2009 Tuesday Night
Worked all day Monday. Had Tony come home around lunch to look in on Stella and make sure her and the rest of the dogs were ok. She was so happy to see me when I walked in the door around 4 PM. She knows I am the daddy who comforts her pain. Made a premade meatloaf, corn on the cob and some bread for dinner. Went to bed around 9 PM with Stella on the bed between Tony and I so she doesn't leave the bed during the night without waking one of us to help her off the bed or pick her up. She is still being very good. She now can walk outside on three legs and pee and poop on her own. I don't have to make a sling and help hold her up. She is starting to put some weight on her foot which is good, just not too much. She is sleeping right now in her enclosure. Last night we watched the beginning of Dancing With The Stars and then Castle. Had to DVR the CBS line up.
Today was much the same as yesterday but worked an hour longer. Very exhausted and looking forward to going to bed soon to watch The Good Wife and then go to bed. Watching tonight's Dancing With The Stars right now. Stella is still doing good. I am so proud of my baby.
Today was much the same as yesterday but worked an hour longer. Very exhausted and looking forward to going to bed soon to watch The Good Wife and then go to bed. Watching tonight's Dancing With The Stars right now. Stella is still doing good. I am so proud of my baby.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
September 20, 2009 Sunday Noonish
Tony and I spent all day Saturday with the blinds closed, curtains closed, and watched TV with Stella. She was good all day. She didn't go want to go out to pee until about 5 pm after dinner which had me a little nervous. But after she ate dinner we put her on a leash and she walked outside on three legs as I used a towel as a sling to help hold her up as she walked. She then was exhausted and spent the night sleeping next to me on the floor in the living room. Watched 'I Love You, Man' with Paul Rudd. Was a very good movie. I recommend it. After that is was a bunch of horror flicks on Syfy Channel.
Today Stella had a little more energy. After breakfast she walked outside with my help once to pee and then again to poop. That first poop is always the hardest after surgery as we all know. I had to help hold her butt up as she did her business. Walked her back inside and a little while she wanted to go out again. Found out she just wanted to lay outside for a while which we let her do, on a leash so not to run or try to walk. She is now sleeping again in the living room and exhausted. Did a quick drive to the grocery store this morning while Tony watch her and stayed with her. Spending the afternoon clearing the DVR with old shows so we have room for the new season of shows to begin this week and a lot of taping of the over lapping shows. Looking forward to the award show with Neil Patrick Harris tonight.
Today Stella had a little more energy. After breakfast she walked outside with my help once to pee and then again to poop. That first poop is always the hardest after surgery as we all know. I had to help hold her butt up as she did her business. Walked her back inside and a little while she wanted to go out again. Found out she just wanted to lay outside for a while which we let her do, on a leash so not to run or try to walk. She is now sleeping again in the living room and exhausted. Did a quick drive to the grocery store this morning while Tony watch her and stayed with her. Spending the afternoon clearing the DVR with old shows so we have room for the new season of shows to begin this week and a lot of taping of the over lapping shows. Looking forward to the award show with Neil Patrick Harris tonight.
Friday, September 18, 2009
September 18, 2009 Friday Early Evening
Stella was picked up at the vet and home by 11 AM this morning. She is being such a good girl. Her brothers and sisters are also being very good. I spent the afternoon napping on the floor with her. She couldn't snuggle close enough to me as we slept. I attached two pictures. One is of the stitches on her knee and the other is a picture
of Kali laying next to her to comfort her.
of Kali laying next to her to comfort her.
September 18, 2009 Friday Morning
The vet called yesterday at lunch and then I talked with them again later in the day. Stella made it through her knee surgery ok. By the second time I talked with the vet they had already gotten her outside once to go to the bathroom and she had eaten a little food. I did not sleep well last night and was up by 4:30 AM this morning because I missed her so much. I hated leaving her for the night. Especially since no one is there anyway to keep an eye on her. I just don't see the point. Either way after a roofer shows up in a bit to give us another roof estimate we will be off to the vet to get her. I have the living room all set up so I can spend the weekend with her and sleep in the living room with her. She can only walk to go out to go to the bathroom. No other movement this weekend. I can't wait to get her. Poor girl. I will write on her progress.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
September 16, 2009 Wednesday Dinner Time
The Pet Shop Boys concert last night was Absolutely Fabulous.
Monday we watched our usual CBS lineup on TV. Went to bed about 10:30. We did watch Jay Leno at it's new time. Was a good show Monday night. So I guess we did deviate from our usual TV viewing.
Tuesday I worked another 9-3 shift working at the warehouse with my tenant. He is a good worker and honestly keeps up with me which is not easy to do. I can be quite intense when I work. My thought is..........get it done and get home. So I work fast and do it right the first time and call it a day. My kind of work. Last night was the Pet Shop Boys concert. WOW. I have to say this was the BEST concert I have ever seen. BEST. Prior to leaving for the concert Tony and I were not getting along. I finally got out my stack of Pet Shop Boys CDs which is over 10 not including cassettes and double CDs. Most are imports that I actually paid for and didn't download for free at one point. I have every CD they have ever released. He could care less about them. Well, I held them in my hand in front of Tony's face and said "listen, I love this group this much. I going to have a good time at this concert so don't fuck it up. Do you understand?" I continued with "you see all these CDs, I have spent hundreds of dollars on these guys because most of these CDs are imports. That is how much I love the Pet Shop Boys." My tone of voice was priceless I am sure. He got the message for a while. We got to the concert and it was a huge gay event. You could pick the straight guys out of the crowd as they held tight to their woman. Too funny. I tried taping the concert on my cell phone but it turned out terrible. In the beginning of the concert the dancers all were costumed like building blocks and had a huge square on there heads so you could not see them. They danced in sync with the music. The stage was these huge white blocks that build walls as the show went on. Two construction guys were constantly part of the show changing the wall of blocks. At the end of the concert during Tear Down the Walls the entire wall fell forward held up by ropes. It was SO COOL. We had 15th row isle seats. Perfect view. I actually stood or should I say danced in the isle the entire concert as did everyone else. That is everyone else but Tony. About the third song in out of the corner of my eye I see Tony start to sit down. SIT DOWN. Everyone is standing and dancing and he wants to sit down and not see the show or enjoy dancing with everyone. I gave him the look of death and he immediately stood back up. Unbelievable. He then got very irritated me asking him for his cell phone to take pictures since my cell phone was taping the sound from the show. We had many loving looks. LOL Nothing was going to spoil my fun and he did not. They did every song I wanted to hear but two songs. It was a sold out show. By the end of the show all the dancers were now in tights and stuff dancing while he sang. The costumes were so cool. I will get the pictures off Tony's cell phone and post them if they turn out. I did go down to the front at times to get some good pictures. Everyone was there to have a good time (except Tony) and it was just a big dance party. When we got home we had to watch the 2 hour season finally of Big Brother which had us up until 1 AM in the morning. No sense in not watching it then or it would be old news by today.
Today I worked another 9-3 shift and my back is killing me. We will most likely go out to a car show or for burgers for dinner tonight. Then it will be an early night in bed with Stella because tomorrow morning I have to drop her off at the vet for her knee surgery and not be able to pick her up until Friday. I will be a basket case. Poor Stella, she has no idea the pain she is going to be in after the surgery for a time. Plus I will be a basket case just leaving her over night which is a good idea in this case. The weekend is for Stella once I pick her up on Friday. I will most likely spend the weekend on the floor laying with her to comfort her. Poor girl. I will write to let you all know how her surgery went immediately after the doctor calls and give updates all weekend. How are we going to carry a 65 lb dog outside for a couple days to go to the bathroom? I don't have that strength anymore. Plus keeping the other 3 dogs calm and not barking to disturb Stella will be very difficult. Should be a fun weekend. NOT. Picked up my new medications which I updated on the side bar. Pravastatin 40 MG for Cholesterol which replaces Simvastatin 20 MG, and Doxazosin 2 MG for prostate replacing Flomax .4 MG.
Monday we watched our usual CBS lineup on TV. Went to bed about 10:30. We did watch Jay Leno at it's new time. Was a good show Monday night. So I guess we did deviate from our usual TV viewing.
Tuesday I worked another 9-3 shift working at the warehouse with my tenant. He is a good worker and honestly keeps up with me which is not easy to do. I can be quite intense when I work. My thought is..........get it done and get home. So I work fast and do it right the first time and call it a day. My kind of work. Last night was the Pet Shop Boys concert. WOW. I have to say this was the BEST concert I have ever seen. BEST. Prior to leaving for the concert Tony and I were not getting along. I finally got out my stack of Pet Shop Boys CDs which is over 10 not including cassettes and double CDs. Most are imports that I actually paid for and didn't download for free at one point. I have every CD they have ever released. He could care less about them. Well, I held them in my hand in front of Tony's face and said "listen, I love this group this much. I going to have a good time at this concert so don't fuck it up. Do you understand?" I continued with "you see all these CDs, I have spent hundreds of dollars on these guys because most of these CDs are imports. That is how much I love the Pet Shop Boys." My tone of voice was priceless I am sure. He got the message for a while. We got to the concert and it was a huge gay event. You could pick the straight guys out of the crowd as they held tight to their woman. Too funny. I tried taping the concert on my cell phone but it turned out terrible. In the beginning of the concert the dancers all were costumed like building blocks and had a huge square on there heads so you could not see them. They danced in sync with the music. The stage was these huge white blocks that build walls as the show went on. Two construction guys were constantly part of the show changing the wall of blocks. At the end of the concert during Tear Down the Walls the entire wall fell forward held up by ropes. It was SO COOL. We had 15th row isle seats. Perfect view. I actually stood or should I say danced in the isle the entire concert as did everyone else. That is everyone else but Tony. About the third song in out of the corner of my eye I see Tony start to sit down. SIT DOWN. Everyone is standing and dancing and he wants to sit down and not see the show or enjoy dancing with everyone. I gave him the look of death and he immediately stood back up. Unbelievable. He then got very irritated me asking him for his cell phone to take pictures since my cell phone was taping the sound from the show. We had many loving looks. LOL Nothing was going to spoil my fun and he did not. They did every song I wanted to hear but two songs. It was a sold out show. By the end of the show all the dancers were now in tights and stuff dancing while he sang. The costumes were so cool. I will get the pictures off Tony's cell phone and post them if they turn out. I did go down to the front at times to get some good pictures. Everyone was there to have a good time (except Tony) and it was just a big dance party. When we got home we had to watch the 2 hour season finally of Big Brother which had us up until 1 AM in the morning. No sense in not watching it then or it would be old news by today.
Today I worked another 9-3 shift and my back is killing me. We will most likely go out to a car show or for burgers for dinner tonight. Then it will be an early night in bed with Stella because tomorrow morning I have to drop her off at the vet for her knee surgery and not be able to pick her up until Friday. I will be a basket case. Poor Stella, she has no idea the pain she is going to be in after the surgery for a time. Plus I will be a basket case just leaving her over night which is a good idea in this case. The weekend is for Stella once I pick her up on Friday. I will most likely spend the weekend on the floor laying with her to comfort her. Poor girl. I will write to let you all know how her surgery went immediately after the doctor calls and give updates all weekend. How are we going to carry a 65 lb dog outside for a couple days to go to the bathroom? I don't have that strength anymore. Plus keeping the other 3 dogs calm and not barking to disturb Stella will be very difficult. Should be a fun weekend. NOT. Picked up my new medications which I updated on the side bar. Pravastatin 40 MG for Cholesterol which replaces Simvastatin 20 MG, and Doxazosin 2 MG for prostate replacing Flomax .4 MG.
Monday, September 14, 2009
September 14, 2009 Monday Afternoon
New blood test number are in.
Sunday Tony and I got up and after reading most of the Sunday Newspaper I made breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs, sausage and muffins. Tony then got in a cleaning mood so I stayed out of the way and let him clean. It does not happen often and I have learned when he gets in this mood to let him go. After all, he is cleaning areas like the bathroom and such that I HATE to clean. Middle of Sunday afternoon my parents drove into Milwaukee to drop off a ceiling fan they no longer use and then they were headed down to the lake front for a kite show. I got Tony in the shower and we met them down at the kite show. It was amazing. At times 8 people had kites doing tricks and acrobatics to music. Came home around dinner time and made chicken, corn on the cob and baked potatoes along with an already made salad I bought earlier in the day at the grocery store while Tony was cleaning. Spent the night watching TV and to bed by 10:30 PM. Shortly before dark one of the dogs was nice enough to bring me another baby bird they caught and killed. It breaks my heart when they do this. I try so hard to watch them when they are outside so to not let them get the birds. Life is not fair. My baby bunny is also now confirmed gone.
Today I woke up very nervous about my early afternoon doctor appointment with my infectious specialist doctor to get me latest round of blood test results. So here is the latest: I am still Undetectable (this is good and expected), my TCell count has continued to rise and has gone from 284 to 315. I am told that is a 15% ratio whatever that means. I was told that is good. I honestly was hoping for a higher number somewhere in the 400 range. Went over many of my concerns with the doctor. We are setting up a Bone Density test some time in the future to see if my bones are wearing down like I think, a side effect of the meds. I will let you know when that happens. He also wants a chest xray which he says we should have already taken and somehow it slipped through the cracks. The doctor is also concerned about my cholesterol levels which are now not good and most likely do to a counter reaction from the Atripla. He has switched me to a new cholesterol drug and a new prostate drug. Since I turned in the prescription sheet at the pharmacy on my way home I do not have their names right now. I will update the sidebar 'current medications' when I find out the specific names. I should have taken an anxiety pill prior to going to the doctor today. This was the first time Tony did not go with me. As I sat in the doctors office all I could do is cry. I couldn't stop crying. I simply seem to loose it when I have to go see this doctor and updated results. He is a good doctor, I am told one of the best, but it just takes a toll on me. Pulled myself together long enough until the doctor walked into the room and then I busted out crying again. When he asked why, I simply told him 'I hate having this disease'. He told me I am doing well and my progress is just what he would want and expect. This is some comfort, but it still doesn't take away the fact I am considered AIDS. The doctor is not sure why the sun is burning my skin and the rashes I seem to get from being out in the sun. He assumes it is from one of the drugs and simply told me to continue to put sun screen on if I am going to be outside for any length of time. I lost another 3 lbs since my last appointment. I think it is my bone mass shrinking. The doctor also told me my thrush and mouth problems are gone. Gone. So any problem Tony is having with a sore on his penis is by no means my fault. He said he is 100% sure it is not from my mouth. I told him I really wish Tony was sitting here to hear this because he keeps blaming me. When I called Tony after returning home and told him this along with all the other news he simply went speechless. I even had to ask him if he was still on the telephone line. Is it wrong for my mind to wonder if he could be fooling around on me? Is it wrong for me to ask considering what I have put him through in the last 9 months? I simply said to him 'you are not getting that from me, so I don't know where your getting it'. I seriously do not know where to go with this. I trust Tony 100% but if he did not and is not getting this fungus infection on the head of his penis from me, where is he getting it from? The doctor asked if he was circumcised, which he is. Any thoughts? Do I go down this road or let it go? The sore has cleared up, but we have not had sex in a couple weeks now without a condom. Sucking a condom is not fun even with flavor lubricant. Tony has never to this day asked me how I think I got AIDS or accused me of fooling around on him in our 20+ years together, is it fair for me to ask or accuse him? Need to spell check and sit back for a while and go through my 4 pages of blood test. Any and all comments are really appreciated.
Tomorrow night Tony and I have concert tickets to see The Pet Shop Boys. Should be a fun concert.
Sunday Tony and I got up and after reading most of the Sunday Newspaper I made breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs, sausage and muffins. Tony then got in a cleaning mood so I stayed out of the way and let him clean. It does not happen often and I have learned when he gets in this mood to let him go. After all, he is cleaning areas like the bathroom and such that I HATE to clean. Middle of Sunday afternoon my parents drove into Milwaukee to drop off a ceiling fan they no longer use and then they were headed down to the lake front for a kite show. I got Tony in the shower and we met them down at the kite show. It was amazing. At times 8 people had kites doing tricks and acrobatics to music. Came home around dinner time and made chicken, corn on the cob and baked potatoes along with an already made salad I bought earlier in the day at the grocery store while Tony was cleaning. Spent the night watching TV and to bed by 10:30 PM. Shortly before dark one of the dogs was nice enough to bring me another baby bird they caught and killed. It breaks my heart when they do this. I try so hard to watch them when they are outside so to not let them get the birds. Life is not fair. My baby bunny is also now confirmed gone.
Today I woke up very nervous about my early afternoon doctor appointment with my infectious specialist doctor to get me latest round of blood test results. So here is the latest: I am still Undetectable (this is good and expected), my TCell count has continued to rise and has gone from 284 to 315. I am told that is a 15% ratio whatever that means. I was told that is good. I honestly was hoping for a higher number somewhere in the 400 range. Went over many of my concerns with the doctor. We are setting up a Bone Density test some time in the future to see if my bones are wearing down like I think, a side effect of the meds. I will let you know when that happens. He also wants a chest xray which he says we should have already taken and somehow it slipped through the cracks. The doctor is also concerned about my cholesterol levels which are now not good and most likely do to a counter reaction from the Atripla. He has switched me to a new cholesterol drug and a new prostate drug. Since I turned in the prescription sheet at the pharmacy on my way home I do not have their names right now. I will update the sidebar 'current medications' when I find out the specific names. I should have taken an anxiety pill prior to going to the doctor today. This was the first time Tony did not go with me. As I sat in the doctors office all I could do is cry. I couldn't stop crying. I simply seem to loose it when I have to go see this doctor and updated results. He is a good doctor, I am told one of the best, but it just takes a toll on me. Pulled myself together long enough until the doctor walked into the room and then I busted out crying again. When he asked why, I simply told him 'I hate having this disease'. He told me I am doing well and my progress is just what he would want and expect. This is some comfort, but it still doesn't take away the fact I am considered AIDS. The doctor is not sure why the sun is burning my skin and the rashes I seem to get from being out in the sun. He assumes it is from one of the drugs and simply told me to continue to put sun screen on if I am going to be outside for any length of time. I lost another 3 lbs since my last appointment. I think it is my bone mass shrinking. The doctor also told me my thrush and mouth problems are gone. Gone. So any problem Tony is having with a sore on his penis is by no means my fault. He said he is 100% sure it is not from my mouth. I told him I really wish Tony was sitting here to hear this because he keeps blaming me. When I called Tony after returning home and told him this along with all the other news he simply went speechless. I even had to ask him if he was still on the telephone line. Is it wrong for my mind to wonder if he could be fooling around on me? Is it wrong for me to ask considering what I have put him through in the last 9 months? I simply said to him 'you are not getting that from me, so I don't know where your getting it'. I seriously do not know where to go with this. I trust Tony 100% but if he did not and is not getting this fungus infection on the head of his penis from me, where is he getting it from? The doctor asked if he was circumcised, which he is. Any thoughts? Do I go down this road or let it go? The sore has cleared up, but we have not had sex in a couple weeks now without a condom. Sucking a condom is not fun even with flavor lubricant. Tony has never to this day asked me how I think I got AIDS or accused me of fooling around on him in our 20+ years together, is it fair for me to ask or accuse him? Need to spell check and sit back for a while and go through my 4 pages of blood test. Any and all comments are really appreciated.
Tomorrow night Tony and I have concert tickets to see The Pet Shop Boys. Should be a fun concert.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
September 13, 2009 Sunday Morning
Thursday night one of my new tenants gave me a new music mixing software to put on my computer. It is called Atomix Virtual DJ Professional. Most know how much I love to mix dance music. Many have checked out my Music Page. I have been using Sound Forge up until today. With Sound Forge I have to manually try to match the beats. With Atomix Virtual 'it' matches or 'syncs' the mixed beats. So Thursday night I was up late playing with it on the computer getting to know what it can or can not do. I finally had to turn off the computer and figured I will spend most of Friday making some music mixes.
Needless to say I woke up Friday morning and jumped on the computer to begin a day of mixing music. Tony was off to work and the grocery shopping can wait. So I loaded up about 40 of my favorite dance songs and started mixing. Unfortunately once you start a mix you can not stop. When you stop, there is no way to not have a break in the mix. Breaks are bad to a mixer. I did manage to shower and vacuum in between the recording of each song. I even made it to lunch with the guys. Lunch with the guys was great. Spent the afternoon continuing to mix music. Most do not realize it is not easy to do and takes a long time. You have to record in 'real time' and really concentrate as if you have an audience. Friday night we were both still full from a big lunch and I made soup and we watched TV all night.
Saturday (yesterday) was the big Center Street Block Party that is four houses from our house. We are four houses off Center Street. The bands set up on almost every block so you can just sit on the back deck and watch the people and listen to the music. We spent most of the day walking up and down the 8 block stretch back and forth meeting and talking with friends and neighbors. Huge turn out again the year. Each year it gets bigger and bigger. Got a flu shot at the festival that Walgreen's was giving out. The best part is the morning 'push pull cart race'. The local businesses make a push cart and you race down the street a block and back. It is so funny. Most years someone always gets hurt crashing into the audience or making the turn at the end of the block and racing back to the finish line. This year was no different. I brought my fold up chair because my left hip is starting to give me problems. I go to the doctor this Monday and one of the things on my list is to find out what road we need to travel down or what doctor I need to see about my bone density changing so rapidly. I feel like my hip is about to give out and my knees have not been much better. My left hip burns and I have a feeling an MRI is going to be warranted somewhere down the road. I think it is the AIDS meds breaking down my muscles and bone mass. I have read this happens. One of the bad side effects like wasting syndrome. I sure hope a new hip is not in the cards. Spent Saturday night simply watching TV and went to bed some time around 10:30 PM.
This morning I made eggs, sausage and toast for breakfast. I think the most we will do is buy our weekly lottery tickets and do some grocery shopping. Maybe go for a drive in the Cadillac since the summer days are numbered. Not sure if I have mentioned it but Milwaukee has been in an unbelievably great weather pattern. We have not had rain for over 2 weeks (we need rain) and it has been in the 70s during the day and 50s at night. The extended forecast shows the same for at least another week. I can not complain about the weather, it has been great.
Monday I have an early afternoon doctor appointment and will find out my latest numbers. Also have a number of concerns to talk to him about. My hip pain being first on my list. I am actually in pain today from all the walking yesterday. I will write and update with new numbers by Monday night.
Needless to say I woke up Friday morning and jumped on the computer to begin a day of mixing music. Tony was off to work and the grocery shopping can wait. So I loaded up about 40 of my favorite dance songs and started mixing. Unfortunately once you start a mix you can not stop. When you stop, there is no way to not have a break in the mix. Breaks are bad to a mixer. I did manage to shower and vacuum in between the recording of each song. I even made it to lunch with the guys. Lunch with the guys was great. Spent the afternoon continuing to mix music. Most do not realize it is not easy to do and takes a long time. You have to record in 'real time' and really concentrate as if you have an audience. Friday night we were both still full from a big lunch and I made soup and we watched TV all night.
Saturday (yesterday) was the big Center Street Block Party that is four houses from our house. We are four houses off Center Street. The bands set up on almost every block so you can just sit on the back deck and watch the people and listen to the music. We spent most of the day walking up and down the 8 block stretch back and forth meeting and talking with friends and neighbors. Huge turn out again the year. Each year it gets bigger and bigger. Got a flu shot at the festival that Walgreen's was giving out. The best part is the morning 'push pull cart race'. The local businesses make a push cart and you race down the street a block and back. It is so funny. Most years someone always gets hurt crashing into the audience or making the turn at the end of the block and racing back to the finish line. This year was no different. I brought my fold up chair because my left hip is starting to give me problems. I go to the doctor this Monday and one of the things on my list is to find out what road we need to travel down or what doctor I need to see about my bone density changing so rapidly. I feel like my hip is about to give out and my knees have not been much better. My left hip burns and I have a feeling an MRI is going to be warranted somewhere down the road. I think it is the AIDS meds breaking down my muscles and bone mass. I have read this happens. One of the bad side effects like wasting syndrome. I sure hope a new hip is not in the cards. Spent Saturday night simply watching TV and went to bed some time around 10:30 PM.
This morning I made eggs, sausage and toast for breakfast. I think the most we will do is buy our weekly lottery tickets and do some grocery shopping. Maybe go for a drive in the Cadillac since the summer days are numbered. Not sure if I have mentioned it but Milwaukee has been in an unbelievably great weather pattern. We have not had rain for over 2 weeks (we need rain) and it has been in the 70s during the day and 50s at night. The extended forecast shows the same for at least another week. I can not complain about the weather, it has been great.
Monday I have an early afternoon doctor appointment and will find out my latest numbers. Also have a number of concerns to talk to him about. My hip pain being first on my list. I am actually in pain today from all the walking yesterday. I will write and update with new numbers by Monday night.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
September 10, 2009 Thursday Night
Wednesday I worked all day at the warehouse continuing to move product from one room to another on carts to expand and get it set up properly. My tenant has continued to come to work with me and it has worked out very well. He has worked very hard. He has worked as hard as me. In seven hours of working we stopped working twice for a five minute cig. I was exhausted by the time I got home, got what I could done around the house before Tony walked in the door and we left the house to get some cheap burgers down the road at a local bar. Got home and just watched the Presidents speech, Criminal Minds and CSI, then off to bed.
Today was much the same. We both worked very hard. I am glad I do not go in again and work until next week Tuesday due to my need for Friday off to get the household stuff done and of course have lunch with the guys. Lunch with the guys is my therapy. Monday I have my doctor appointment and need that day off. Should have new numbers by Monday night. I am hopeful. Tonight we are just watching Big Brother, CSI and whatever else is on after that and then I will be ready to go to bed. Another roofer is coming by tomorrow morning to give an estimate on a new roof. Grocery shopping and lunch is all I have planned so far.
Today was much the same. We both worked very hard. I am glad I do not go in again and work until next week Tuesday due to my need for Friday off to get the household stuff done and of course have lunch with the guys. Lunch with the guys is my therapy. Monday I have my doctor appointment and need that day off. Should have new numbers by Monday night. I am hopeful. Tonight we are just watching Big Brother, CSI and whatever else is on after that and then I will be ready to go to bed. Another roofer is coming by tomorrow morning to give an estimate on a new roof. Grocery shopping and lunch is all I have planned so far.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
September 8, 2009 Tuesday Night
Monday Tony and I went back to Home Depot to return the bulb we bought for the outside driveway light that didn't seem to work. We ended up buying a brand new light since the old bulb for some reason stopped working also. I like the new light better. We drove around the Milwaukee lake front in the afternoon, stopping by Tony's mothers house for about an hour to say hi. For dinner we decided to walk down the block to a Mexican restaurant which ended up being closed. Walked another block farther to find that bar/restaurant closed, and then another. Ended up walking home, getting in the car, and going out for burgers. Watched a little TV and went to bed.
Today I went to work and worked about 6 1/2 hours. Came home to another roofing company guy to give us an estimate on a new house roof that must be put on by winter. The company owner came out to give the estimate. After looking around the house with Tony and I for about an hour he told us he honestly would not want to do the job and will not. Too many peaks and valleys. Wow. I did appreciate his honesty rather than a crappy job. So the estimates continue. We have had two. One is $9000 the other is $15,000. Big difference in price. Either way high. Tonight we met some friends at the Harley Davidson Car show and hung out for a while and had a burger. Just watching Big Brother on TV. Looking forward to bed since I am tired from working hard all day in the warehouse moving and stocking product.
Wow, did a spell check and not one word spelled wrong. LOL
Today I went to work and worked about 6 1/2 hours. Came home to another roofing company guy to give us an estimate on a new house roof that must be put on by winter. The company owner came out to give the estimate. After looking around the house with Tony and I for about an hour he told us he honestly would not want to do the job and will not. Too many peaks and valleys. Wow. I did appreciate his honesty rather than a crappy job. So the estimates continue. We have had two. One is $9000 the other is $15,000. Big difference in price. Either way high. Tonight we met some friends at the Harley Davidson Car show and hung out for a while and had a burger. Just watching Big Brother on TV. Looking forward to bed since I am tired from working hard all day in the warehouse moving and stocking product.
Wow, did a spell check and not one word spelled wrong. LOL
Sunday, September 6, 2009
September 6, 2009 Sunday Dinner Time
Was a pretty good weekend so far. How could it not be with the Harley Davidson Reunion and the Gay Softball Tournaments going on in Milwaukee this weekend. Hundreds of gay softball players from all over the country right here in Milwaukee to play baseball and party.
Friday night Tony and I went to a block party in the third ward where the gay bars are that was for the gay national softball tournament. Was about 8 blocks of gay jocks. Was a great entertainment lineup that included Amber. We had a great time at the block party Friday night. Hundreds of really good lookin guys from out of town.
Saturday Tony went into work and I went grocery shopping. The Northshore Fire Department had boots in hand taking donations at the grocery store. I never saw such a good looking/handsome fire department of guys. I walked up and looked at them all and said to one 'its hard to choose, but you are the most handsome'. He thanked me and said it was the first compliment today. I could hear the guys talking about my comment as I walked into the grocery store. On my way out I let them know that if my house is ever on fire I sure home the Northshore Fire Department puts out the fire. Saturday afternoon Tony and I went to a Harley Davidson block party downtown on Water Street and then headed over to another festival that had food tasting. Came home around dinner time and spent time with the dogs before heading to another gay party like the one the previous night for the softball league that was at all places --- the Harley Davidson Museum. How times have changed. Pretty cool for Harley Davidson to throw a gay party for us. Had a good time. Many, many pretty men and by 10 PM my eyes hurt and it was time to go home. LOL. My legs, hips and feet hurt also from all the walking.
Sunday morning (today) we got up and read the paper and after a couple donuts Tony and I drove to Walgreens for some prescriptions. Big Lot to check if they had step ladders. The gas station for our weekly lottery tickets. And last to Home Depot for a list of household items including 6 step ladders for at work. Got everything on the list. We came home and shortly left the house again in the 65 Cadillac Convertible, with the top up because I can not do sun, and drove around the lake front stopping at Taco Bell for some lunch. On the way home we stopped off at a festival in St Francis and at Pick N Save to see the Northshore Fire guys and buy some corn on the cob and dinner items so we can just stay home tonight and cook burgers on the grill. I mentioned to the Northshore Fire Department guys that they should seriously think about making a calendar. Watching a weeks worth of One Life To Live right now. Soon the dogs will be at my feet wanting dinner. Stella is still limping around. She goes in for surgery a week from this Thursday. I have a week and a half to try to keep her not running around causing more damage. The vet says it is deterioration of the knee and tearing. After we make burgers and dinner we will most likely stay home tonight and enjoy the GREAT weather we have been having here in Milwaukee for the past week or more. It has been in the 70s during the day, 50s at night. No rain for a week. Perfect weather. No rain in sight for at least a few more days. What a great stretch of weather here in Milwaukee is you love 70s.
Friday night Tony and I went to a block party in the third ward where the gay bars are that was for the gay national softball tournament. Was about 8 blocks of gay jocks. Was a great entertainment lineup that included Amber. We had a great time at the block party Friday night. Hundreds of really good lookin guys from out of town.
Saturday Tony went into work and I went grocery shopping. The Northshore Fire Department had boots in hand taking donations at the grocery store. I never saw such a good looking/handsome fire department of guys. I walked up and looked at them all and said to one 'its hard to choose, but you are the most handsome'. He thanked me and said it was the first compliment today. I could hear the guys talking about my comment as I walked into the grocery store. On my way out I let them know that if my house is ever on fire I sure home the Northshore Fire Department puts out the fire. Saturday afternoon Tony and I went to a Harley Davidson block party downtown on Water Street and then headed over to another festival that had food tasting. Came home around dinner time and spent time with the dogs before heading to another gay party like the one the previous night for the softball league that was at all places --- the Harley Davidson Museum. How times have changed. Pretty cool for Harley Davidson to throw a gay party for us. Had a good time. Many, many pretty men and by 10 PM my eyes hurt and it was time to go home. LOL. My legs, hips and feet hurt also from all the walking.
Sunday morning (today) we got up and read the paper and after a couple donuts Tony and I drove to Walgreens for some prescriptions. Big Lot to check if they had step ladders. The gas station for our weekly lottery tickets. And last to Home Depot for a list of household items including 6 step ladders for at work. Got everything on the list. We came home and shortly left the house again in the 65 Cadillac Convertible, with the top up because I can not do sun, and drove around the lake front stopping at Taco Bell for some lunch. On the way home we stopped off at a festival in St Francis and at Pick N Save to see the Northshore Fire guys and buy some corn on the cob and dinner items so we can just stay home tonight and cook burgers on the grill. I mentioned to the Northshore Fire Department guys that they should seriously think about making a calendar. Watching a weeks worth of One Life To Live right now. Soon the dogs will be at my feet wanting dinner. Stella is still limping around. She goes in for surgery a week from this Thursday. I have a week and a half to try to keep her not running around causing more damage. The vet says it is deterioration of the knee and tearing. After we make burgers and dinner we will most likely stay home tonight and enjoy the GREAT weather we have been having here in Milwaukee for the past week or more. It has been in the 70s during the day, 50s at night. No rain for a week. Perfect weather. No rain in sight for at least a few more days. What a great stretch of weather here in Milwaukee is you love 70s.
Friday, September 4, 2009
September 4, 2009 Friday Morning
Not having a good morning today.
Yesterday my tenant and I headed to work at 8:30 in the morning and worked the longest day I have worked since going back working outside the house since January. I didn't get home until close to 5 PM. Very productive day. Got the rest of the shelving set up and started moving the warehouse product around with the owner, my tenant and another employee. Very physical work. Worked out butts off and I was in physical pain by the time I got home. Did very little last night due to being so tired. At one point Tony made a comment to me saying ' I never said you had to go back to work'. I went outside for a while and when I came in I tried to explain to him that even though I feel so exhausted and every muscle hurts I feel I had the most rewarding week I have had in a long time. I feel a sense of accomplishment and appreciated by the owner for all I have done this week. I went on to tell him working at home or around the house is not as rewarding and certainly not appreciated verbally from him as it is with coworkers outside the house. It is amazing to me that when I was in my 20s working in retail I worked 12 hour days and felt like I did last night. Now I work a 6 or 8 hour day and feel the same. Guess that what happens when you are 48 years old? Or is it the AIDS? Was in bed by 9:30 sleeping.
This morning I had to go into the hospital for my next round of blood tests. No food or coffee prior. Not good when you wake up in a fog like I do from the meds. Also not good with all the morning bowel problems I have daily. Was a real struggle trying to push myself to the hospital, walk to the blood department and drive home. Picked up some McDonald's on the way home and after Tony left for work I went back and laid on the bed. Soon I was crying. Not sure why. I think the busy exhausting week has caught up with me and my body says I did too much. It will be interesting to see if the blood work shows this in my numbers this time around. I still am in pain, muscle pain from the hard work. I feel like my good week has come crashing down on me. Why? I was feeling good. Feeling accomplishment. Is it because I today feel so limited? Am I afraid of my next round of blood results? What will I do if this past week has not helped increase my numbers and in fact made them worse? Maybe it is just the slow Whitney Houston Greatest Hits that is making me so depressed this morning? Either way I wish I could stop the tears this morning. Hopefully lunch with the guys today will help. Later this afternoon Tony and I have to take Stella back to the vet for another round of xrays so they can get some better views. The vet did call yesterday and tell us it looks like surgery will cost about $1500.00 on her leg. Tony is not happy. He is saying he will take her to a different vet. I simply told him if he wants a second opinion or thinks he can find a cheaper option HE needs to do it. I am not. I told him he has until next Wednesday or I will schedule the surgery here at our vet for the $1500.00. Since he is not home as much he does not see her limping and the pain. I DO. With all the hours I am working this month I just figure I am working for Stella's surgery this month. Will know more after the next round of xrays as to what the surgery will entail. We have no plans this weekend for Labor Day. The way I feel right now that is fine with me. I am sure something will come up as the weekend unfolds.
Yesterday my tenant and I headed to work at 8:30 in the morning and worked the longest day I have worked since going back working outside the house since January. I didn't get home until close to 5 PM. Very productive day. Got the rest of the shelving set up and started moving the warehouse product around with the owner, my tenant and another employee. Very physical work. Worked out butts off and I was in physical pain by the time I got home. Did very little last night due to being so tired. At one point Tony made a comment to me saying ' I never said you had to go back to work'. I went outside for a while and when I came in I tried to explain to him that even though I feel so exhausted and every muscle hurts I feel I had the most rewarding week I have had in a long time. I feel a sense of accomplishment and appreciated by the owner for all I have done this week. I went on to tell him working at home or around the house is not as rewarding and certainly not appreciated verbally from him as it is with coworkers outside the house. It is amazing to me that when I was in my 20s working in retail I worked 12 hour days and felt like I did last night. Now I work a 6 or 8 hour day and feel the same. Guess that what happens when you are 48 years old? Or is it the AIDS? Was in bed by 9:30 sleeping.
This morning I had to go into the hospital for my next round of blood tests. No food or coffee prior. Not good when you wake up in a fog like I do from the meds. Also not good with all the morning bowel problems I have daily. Was a real struggle trying to push myself to the hospital, walk to the blood department and drive home. Picked up some McDonald's on the way home and after Tony left for work I went back and laid on the bed. Soon I was crying. Not sure why. I think the busy exhausting week has caught up with me and my body says I did too much. It will be interesting to see if the blood work shows this in my numbers this time around. I still am in pain, muscle pain from the hard work. I feel like my good week has come crashing down on me. Why? I was feeling good. Feeling accomplishment. Is it because I today feel so limited? Am I afraid of my next round of blood results? What will I do if this past week has not helped increase my numbers and in fact made them worse? Maybe it is just the slow Whitney Houston Greatest Hits that is making me so depressed this morning? Either way I wish I could stop the tears this morning. Hopefully lunch with the guys today will help. Later this afternoon Tony and I have to take Stella back to the vet for another round of xrays so they can get some better views. The vet did call yesterday and tell us it looks like surgery will cost about $1500.00 on her leg. Tony is not happy. He is saying he will take her to a different vet. I simply told him if he wants a second opinion or thinks he can find a cheaper option HE needs to do it. I am not. I told him he has until next Wednesday or I will schedule the surgery here at our vet for the $1500.00. Since he is not home as much he does not see her limping and the pain. I DO. With all the hours I am working this month I just figure I am working for Stella's surgery this month. Will know more after the next round of xrays as to what the surgery will entail. We have no plans this weekend for Labor Day. The way I feel right now that is fine with me. I am sure something will come up as the weekend unfolds.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
September 2, 2009 Wednesday Dinner Time
Exhausted.
I have been working the last three days setting up 8 foot shelving units at the North location.
Monday I went to the South location and took care of some business and challenges before starting the project at the North location. Came home Monday in the afternoon and cleaned the house until Tony got home for dinner. I don't even remember what I made for dinner Monday night. We were in bed by 10:30 PM.
Tuesday (yesterday) I went to the North location with our new tenant and put in about 6 hours. One of two tenants upstairs at this time does not have a job and is in the process of looking for one here in Milwaukee. Since my boss suggested I find some help doing all the physical labor of setting up and moving the new warehouse I asked the tenant if he wanted to work for a while and make some money. He helped my yesterday and today at work and is going in with me again tomorrow. Since there is so much that could and should be done around the company I figure I can keep him busy for months if he wants and hopefully get him a full time job at the company I work for. We need someone to do various things that no one ever has time for. It might come to the point where he actually kinda works for me and I pay him weekly and then get reimbursed from the owner at the end of the month. He has really helped and I would not have gotten as much done without him. We even seem to work good together. He anticipates my next moves and is right there when I need him. I even asked Tony last night why the two of us don't work that well together on projects. LOL. I am very happy the way it is turning out.
I received my letter today from social security with my next doctor appointment they want me to go to on September 29. Jeez, here we go again. If I get denied again I am just going to bite the bullet and go back to work on the payroll rather than under the table like it has been. I am not going to fight it in court if denied. At least that is my thinking today. Tonight we are going out for cheap burgers with the guys upstairs. I am so glad we got good tenants. I am so happy with them. We don't even hear them upstairs and they are very polite and obviously brought up correctly by their parents. They even signed the lease and paid this months rent. I still have not heard from the doctor regarding Stella's surgery. I called the vet again today to say WTF. The vet says they still are waiting to talk to the person who will be doing the surgery. I keep telling them Stella is in pain and can not walk. We need this done sooner rather than later.
So, bottom line is that I am doing good. Feeling exhausted and my muscles hurt from the hard work the last few days, but it is a good hurt. Life is worth living. Tomorrow I will go to work all day with the tenant and work with the owner starting to move product around the warehouse and get it set up - her way. Friday I go in again for my next round of blood tests. I can't wait to learn the numbers and will pass them on when I get them on September 11th. I am wondering if working so hard this week will affect the numbers. Another reason I am looking forward to them. If my Tcells haven't increased much I might have to cut back on all the working until my body gets healthier.
I have been working the last three days setting up 8 foot shelving units at the North location.
Monday I went to the South location and took care of some business and challenges before starting the project at the North location. Came home Monday in the afternoon and cleaned the house until Tony got home for dinner. I don't even remember what I made for dinner Monday night. We were in bed by 10:30 PM.
Tuesday (yesterday) I went to the North location with our new tenant and put in about 6 hours. One of two tenants upstairs at this time does not have a job and is in the process of looking for one here in Milwaukee. Since my boss suggested I find some help doing all the physical labor of setting up and moving the new warehouse I asked the tenant if he wanted to work for a while and make some money. He helped my yesterday and today at work and is going in with me again tomorrow. Since there is so much that could and should be done around the company I figure I can keep him busy for months if he wants and hopefully get him a full time job at the company I work for. We need someone to do various things that no one ever has time for. It might come to the point where he actually kinda works for me and I pay him weekly and then get reimbursed from the owner at the end of the month. He has really helped and I would not have gotten as much done without him. We even seem to work good together. He anticipates my next moves and is right there when I need him. I even asked Tony last night why the two of us don't work that well together on projects. LOL. I am very happy the way it is turning out.
I received my letter today from social security with my next doctor appointment they want me to go to on September 29. Jeez, here we go again. If I get denied again I am just going to bite the bullet and go back to work on the payroll rather than under the table like it has been. I am not going to fight it in court if denied. At least that is my thinking today. Tonight we are going out for cheap burgers with the guys upstairs. I am so glad we got good tenants. I am so happy with them. We don't even hear them upstairs and they are very polite and obviously brought up correctly by their parents. They even signed the lease and paid this months rent. I still have not heard from the doctor regarding Stella's surgery. I called the vet again today to say WTF. The vet says they still are waiting to talk to the person who will be doing the surgery. I keep telling them Stella is in pain and can not walk. We need this done sooner rather than later.
So, bottom line is that I am doing good. Feeling exhausted and my muscles hurt from the hard work the last few days, but it is a good hurt. Life is worth living. Tomorrow I will go to work all day with the tenant and work with the owner starting to move product around the warehouse and get it set up - her way. Friday I go in again for my next round of blood tests. I can't wait to learn the numbers and will pass them on when I get them on September 11th. I am wondering if working so hard this week will affect the numbers. Another reason I am looking forward to them. If my Tcells haven't increased much I might have to cut back on all the working until my body gets healthier.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
August 30, 2009 Sunday Afternoon
Friday afternoon Tony and I skipped lunch with the guys so we could be here for our new tenants moving in upstairs and me home with Stella due to her back right leg injury. Friday afternoon Tony and I took her to the vet and had her examined. Total vet bill today was $350 which included xrays and blood test. The xrays show she needs surgery on her knee, the blood test showed she is healthy enough for surgery. The vet is calling us on Monday after she talks with some other vets as to what kind of surgery is needed and about how much it will cost. Of course Tony is already saying he isn't spending any money, I of course bring him back to reality as to what the alternative is. "Are you going to watch your baby in pain or end her life? The same baby that goes to work with you and protects you at the shop daily?" I am sure it will be in the $1000 range for knee surgery. What else can you do? Barkley is going to have to go in for his $600 teeth treatment soon also. We did win $30 on this weeks lottery tickets, yah! Going to have to take out a small loan for all these dogs.
Went out to dinner at a local bar/restaurant Friday night.
Saturday I sent Tony to McDonalds to get us some breakfast before starting a full day of painting the front of the house. Spent the entire day side by side on two story ladders and not once did we argue or fight. We were very productive. How things have changed. I can say one thing for this diagnosis. Tony and I fight less and pick our battles. We are more forgiving. We don't sweat the small things. I think life is better this way. Saturday night we went out to dinner at a local Italian restaurant and had a less than good meal. It is usually my favorite Italian restaurant. It was off a lot last night. My lasagna was more like lasagna soup. Tony had veal. After telling him how horrible it is of him to have veal and what they do to the lamb I don't think he enjoyed his dinner much either. We took a pain pill each prior to dinner and once we got home we both just were exhausted. Stella has been getting her pain pills since the doctors visit and it has helped her stay down more and not make the knee worse or more painful. We still have to tell her to 'lay down' here and there when she hears someone walk by outside or a noise she wants to find out what it is. It will be worse after the surgery trying to keep her down and not running around. She is a pit bull for heavens sake.
This morning Tony and I got up and out of the house early enough to take his mom out for a nice Sunday morning breakfast. We try to do this every couple weeks. Always fun to exchange family gossip. Was a good day of gossip today. LOL. Got home and just watching some TV wondering what we will do the rest of the day. We both are in pain from all the up and down the ladders all day yesterday. Much less hanging on the the ladder and ledges for dear life so not to fall two stories high. I have to work outside the house Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday will be a bigger day than Monday and very exhausting. I will be putting together the shelving I ordered last week. Ten 8 foot units three feet wide with 5 shelves each. It will be exhausting but feel good. Friday I go in for my next round of blood tests. Time to go to the couch and rest, after spell check of course.
Went out to dinner at a local bar/restaurant Friday night.
Saturday I sent Tony to McDonalds to get us some breakfast before starting a full day of painting the front of the house. Spent the entire day side by side on two story ladders and not once did we argue or fight. We were very productive. How things have changed. I can say one thing for this diagnosis. Tony and I fight less and pick our battles. We are more forgiving. We don't sweat the small things. I think life is better this way. Saturday night we went out to dinner at a local Italian restaurant and had a less than good meal. It is usually my favorite Italian restaurant. It was off a lot last night. My lasagna was more like lasagna soup. Tony had veal. After telling him how horrible it is of him to have veal and what they do to the lamb I don't think he enjoyed his dinner much either. We took a pain pill each prior to dinner and once we got home we both just were exhausted. Stella has been getting her pain pills since the doctors visit and it has helped her stay down more and not make the knee worse or more painful. We still have to tell her to 'lay down' here and there when she hears someone walk by outside or a noise she wants to find out what it is. It will be worse after the surgery trying to keep her down and not running around. She is a pit bull for heavens sake.
This morning Tony and I got up and out of the house early enough to take his mom out for a nice Sunday morning breakfast. We try to do this every couple weeks. Always fun to exchange family gossip. Was a good day of gossip today. LOL. Got home and just watching some TV wondering what we will do the rest of the day. We both are in pain from all the up and down the ladders all day yesterday. Much less hanging on the the ladder and ledges for dear life so not to fall two stories high. I have to work outside the house Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday will be a bigger day than Monday and very exhausting. I will be putting together the shelving I ordered last week. Ten 8 foot units three feet wide with 5 shelves each. It will be exhausting but feel good. Friday I go in for my next round of blood tests. Time to go to the couch and rest, after spell check of course.
Friday, August 28, 2009
August 28, 2009 Friday Morning
Wednesday I went into work for about 6 hours. Came home pretty exhausted and ordered Jimmy Johns subs for dinner. Had to go in to work and make measurements and plan out the expanding warehouse.
Thursday (yesterday) it was a rainy cool day in Milwaukee. Wanted to go into work but between the shipment coming in after noon and having a vet appointment for Barkley I got my usual Friday morning grocery shopping done after showing the upper apartment to a potential tenant. The apartment is now rented. Two young guys in their 20s. After I told the one guy yesterday they could have the apartment he started moving in immediately. The second guy showed up last night and gave us money and actually spent the night last night up in the apartment. He is moving his stuff in today. Can't wait to find out how his first night was. No bed, so he couldn't have slept great? Seem like 2 nice straight kids. Took Barkley to the vet to find out he has ear infections and we need to treat his skin more often with baths and cleaning to get rid of the sores. The vet is still not completely sure why he has this skin condition. Unfortunately he is the least of my worries right now because Stella (our pit bull) can not walk on her back right leg and is just walking when necessary on three legs. So I made her an appointment at the vet for Friday. Made a meatloaf for dinner and took Stella to bed around 10 PM. She is not a happy dog.
Today I got up around 6:30 AM when I looked around the bedroom to see Tony and Stella gone. Stella was sleeping on a chair in the living room and Tony informed me he has been cleaning up puke all morning. Not good. She is in obvious pain since she maybe moved around the house 4 times all day yesterday. Today she is still walking on three legs and is not happy. She goes to the vet this afternoon at 2:40 PM. Tony and I are skipping our Friday lunch with the guys today so I can stay home and try to keep Stella from trying to walk prior to getting her to the vet this afternoon. I figure the less she moves around the better until we find out what is going on with her. Now if I can just get Vito to stop barking at any noise which in turn makes Stella want to jump off the couch my day will go ok. Tony is going to come home later today and help me get her to the vet since she can barely walk to even go outside and pee. You can just see the discomfort in her eyes. I would give her another doggie pain pill but I have a feeling the one I gave her last night might have been the reason she had stomach problems this morning so I will hold off until the vet says more. Hopefully she needs an anti inflammatory and pain meds and will be fine. I have a feeling this is going to be a slippery expensive slope with xrays and tests. Barkley cost us $150 yesterday and they say he needs a $500-$700 dental treatment very soon also. Sooner rather than later is what we were told. There goes are next vacation plans to the east coast this fall. I am sure this afternoons vet visit will be an expensive one. Cloudy and cool again today in Milwaukee. Have a had time getting my mind going and having an ambition when it is cloudy. This weekend I am going to quit smoking. I know I have said it before but cigs go up in price again next week and it just has to happen. Wish me luck I don't kill Tony or a dog in the process. Have the patch all ready to put on starting tomorrow. Will write again when I know more about Stella. Until then, stay happy.
Thursday (yesterday) it was a rainy cool day in Milwaukee. Wanted to go into work but between the shipment coming in after noon and having a vet appointment for Barkley I got my usual Friday morning grocery shopping done after showing the upper apartment to a potential tenant. The apartment is now rented. Two young guys in their 20s. After I told the one guy yesterday they could have the apartment he started moving in immediately. The second guy showed up last night and gave us money and actually spent the night last night up in the apartment. He is moving his stuff in today. Can't wait to find out how his first night was. No bed, so he couldn't have slept great? Seem like 2 nice straight kids. Took Barkley to the vet to find out he has ear infections and we need to treat his skin more often with baths and cleaning to get rid of the sores. The vet is still not completely sure why he has this skin condition. Unfortunately he is the least of my worries right now because Stella (our pit bull) can not walk on her back right leg and is just walking when necessary on three legs. So I made her an appointment at the vet for Friday. Made a meatloaf for dinner and took Stella to bed around 10 PM. She is not a happy dog.
Today I got up around 6:30 AM when I looked around the bedroom to see Tony and Stella gone. Stella was sleeping on a chair in the living room and Tony informed me he has been cleaning up puke all morning. Not good. She is in obvious pain since she maybe moved around the house 4 times all day yesterday. Today she is still walking on three legs and is not happy. She goes to the vet this afternoon at 2:40 PM. Tony and I are skipping our Friday lunch with the guys today so I can stay home and try to keep Stella from trying to walk prior to getting her to the vet this afternoon. I figure the less she moves around the better until we find out what is going on with her. Now if I can just get Vito to stop barking at any noise which in turn makes Stella want to jump off the couch my day will go ok. Tony is going to come home later today and help me get her to the vet since she can barely walk to even go outside and pee. You can just see the discomfort in her eyes. I would give her another doggie pain pill but I have a feeling the one I gave her last night might have been the reason she had stomach problems this morning so I will hold off until the vet says more. Hopefully she needs an anti inflammatory and pain meds and will be fine. I have a feeling this is going to be a slippery expensive slope with xrays and tests. Barkley cost us $150 yesterday and they say he needs a $500-$700 dental treatment very soon also. Sooner rather than later is what we were told. There goes are next vacation plans to the east coast this fall. I am sure this afternoons vet visit will be an expensive one. Cloudy and cool again today in Milwaukee. Have a had time getting my mind going and having an ambition when it is cloudy. This weekend I am going to quit smoking. I know I have said it before but cigs go up in price again next week and it just has to happen. Wish me luck I don't kill Tony or a dog in the process. Have the patch all ready to put on starting tomorrow. Will write again when I know more about Stella. Until then, stay happy.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
August 25, 2009 Tuesday Dinner Time
Woke up this morning and after trying several times to get a hold of my boss I decided to head outside and continue painting. I finished the north side of the second floor today. I am beat. BEAT. I do not like heights and being on a ladder never thrilled me. My finders even hurt from hanging onto the ladder so tight so not to fall from the second floor roof. Glad it is done. Just have the front and half the south side of the house to do yet and then I am finished.
Tony has two BMW's at his shop. My ex's and mine. My ex's got totaled by the insurance agent today. My BMW is repairable since the expense is under $10,000. So I guess Tony will be fixing my BMW and hopefully selling it to my ex to replace his. I am more than happy to drive the GTO he showed me yesterday. Got showered and just waiting for Tony to come home. Not sure which I have more strength for, making dinner or going to a car show and getting some dinner at the show. I am that exhausted. Finally got ahold of my boss later this afternoon and have a project to do tomorrow at the north location and then meeting her at the south location by noon. Will most likely be ordering shelving units for the expanding warehouse at north. Have to map out the rooms and get estimates on how much shelving will cost, then order it for all the product we carry. So long day at work tomorrow. Tony just walked in the door so I better spell check and sign off.
Tony has two BMW's at his shop. My ex's and mine. My ex's got totaled by the insurance agent today. My BMW is repairable since the expense is under $10,000. So I guess Tony will be fixing my BMW and hopefully selling it to my ex to replace his. I am more than happy to drive the GTO he showed me yesterday. Got showered and just waiting for Tony to come home. Not sure which I have more strength for, making dinner or going to a car show and getting some dinner at the show. I am that exhausted. Finally got ahold of my boss later this afternoon and have a project to do tomorrow at the north location and then meeting her at the south location by noon. Will most likely be ordering shelving units for the expanding warehouse at north. Have to map out the rooms and get estimates on how much shelving will cost, then order it for all the product we carry. So long day at work tomorrow. Tony just walked in the door so I better spell check and sign off.
Monday, August 24, 2009
August 24, 2009 Monday Evening
Saturday morning I woke up feeling pretty good. Tony had some shoulder and neck pain from the car accident the day before. I gave him a pain pill and sent him outside to start some painting while I painting some lower areas and did things around the house. He got about 1/2 done painting the north upper side of the house in the day. Saturday night around dinner time we when to the 1st Annual Brew City Bully Club party for pit bulls. It is a group to bring awareness that it is not the breed but the particular dog that can be bad. Not all pit bulls are bad dogs. We ate dinner. Was nice to see so many dogs together having fun not being bad dogs. You could bring your pit bull if you wanted to the party. Gave a donation and headed home after about an hour at the party. Saturday night we watched a bunch of Nurse Jackie episodes that I downloaded and were in bed by 10:30 PM.
Sunday morning I made breakfast which did not turn out very good and I ate about half of it. Over cooked the food. That afternoon we went to the Bristol Renaissance Faire near the Illinois border. Spent the afternoon there and had a good time. Was never there before but since it was 'gay day' that day we went. Many many gay people. I could not believe all the people who work there as well as visitors that had costumes on. Mid evil wear. Watched some shows and bought some gifts. Headed home sometime after 5 PM. Was a nice cloudy day and most of the faire is in the shade with trees and such. Was so welcoming to see most of the booths and stores had small rainbow flags displayed. Also had many rainbow items out to buy. Felt very welcoming and I let management know how great they were to make us gay people feel like it was our day. Good job Renaissence Faire. I would go again if I had a child to enjoy it with, other than that I don't see us going again anytime soon, even though we had a good time. Been there done that now. Was fun just to sit back and watch all the people and their costumes. I bought a hat that looks like the one from Indiana Jones. I will have to have Tony take a pic of me in it and post it.
Today I got up around 6:30 AM and after a few times with the morning news paper (I figured that was better than saying 'on the toilet'), I got myself showered and headed into work for a few hours to put together the Esthiology Steamers that had arrived. Put together all 7 of them. I even took Kali with me to work since I knew I would be working in the boss's office putting them together and she could be by my side. I used to take Kali to work with me when I worked there full time some days. Monday's the place is for the most part closed so it is a good day to bring her. She is very good and always lays by my side or follows me around the huge building as I do things. I was so amazed how today, after not being there for a year, she remembered her way around the place and knew which doors we would be going to. Smart little girl. I also am happy to say I have not had to put ointment in her eye for the past 3 days so I finally feel her eye is better. Thank goodness, didn't need that expense. Got home early this afternoon after picking up Stella at Tony's auto body shop on my way home with Kali. Made myself some tomato soup and was in bed by 1 PM and took a 3 hour nap. I am still trying to get my head together as I type this post. Tony says my new BMW, which I never even drove, will most likely be totaled when the insurance agent comes tomorrow to look at it. Guess the one front headlight alone is around $1500.00. Since the whole front end is smashed it is likely it will be totaled. Not a bad thing. Insurance will give us what we paid since we just bought it. Tony is not unhappy and even brought my next new car home for me to look at. It is a 2004 Pontiac GTO. Black with racing stripes up the hood, top and trunk. I sat in the drivers seat tonight. More than I did with the BMW. I like the bucket seats. Tony says it has more power than I am used to. LOL. He does not drive with me much on the expressway. I am looking forward to 'more power'. Tonight after I finish cooking dinner we will just sit back and enjoy the wonderful Milwaukee weather and TV. Will most likely watch our usual CBS Monday night line up. It has been in the 70s during the day and 50s at night here in Milwaukee. I have to say this has been the most enjoyable summer I can remember. We usually get a few streaks of 90s and we only had one so far this summer. It has been a very comfortable summer. Time to spell check.
Sunday morning I made breakfast which did not turn out very good and I ate about half of it. Over cooked the food. That afternoon we went to the Bristol Renaissance Faire near the Illinois border. Spent the afternoon there and had a good time. Was never there before but since it was 'gay day' that day we went. Many many gay people. I could not believe all the people who work there as well as visitors that had costumes on. Mid evil wear. Watched some shows and bought some gifts. Headed home sometime after 5 PM. Was a nice cloudy day and most of the faire is in the shade with trees and such. Was so welcoming to see most of the booths and stores had small rainbow flags displayed. Also had many rainbow items out to buy. Felt very welcoming and I let management know how great they were to make us gay people feel like it was our day. Good job Renaissence Faire. I would go again if I had a child to enjoy it with, other than that I don't see us going again anytime soon, even though we had a good time. Been there done that now. Was fun just to sit back and watch all the people and their costumes. I bought a hat that looks like the one from Indiana Jones. I will have to have Tony take a pic of me in it and post it.
Today I got up around 6:30 AM and after a few times with the morning news paper (I figured that was better than saying 'on the toilet'), I got myself showered and headed into work for a few hours to put together the Esthiology Steamers that had arrived. Put together all 7 of them. I even took Kali with me to work since I knew I would be working in the boss's office putting them together and she could be by my side. I used to take Kali to work with me when I worked there full time some days. Monday's the place is for the most part closed so it is a good day to bring her. She is very good and always lays by my side or follows me around the huge building as I do things. I was so amazed how today, after not being there for a year, she remembered her way around the place and knew which doors we would be going to. Smart little girl. I also am happy to say I have not had to put ointment in her eye for the past 3 days so I finally feel her eye is better. Thank goodness, didn't need that expense. Got home early this afternoon after picking up Stella at Tony's auto body shop on my way home with Kali. Made myself some tomato soup and was in bed by 1 PM and took a 3 hour nap. I am still trying to get my head together as I type this post. Tony says my new BMW, which I never even drove, will most likely be totaled when the insurance agent comes tomorrow to look at it. Guess the one front headlight alone is around $1500.00. Since the whole front end is smashed it is likely it will be totaled. Not a bad thing. Insurance will give us what we paid since we just bought it. Tony is not unhappy and even brought my next new car home for me to look at. It is a 2004 Pontiac GTO. Black with racing stripes up the hood, top and trunk. I sat in the drivers seat tonight. More than I did with the BMW. I like the bucket seats. Tony says it has more power than I am used to. LOL. He does not drive with me much on the expressway. I am looking forward to 'more power'. Tonight after I finish cooking dinner we will just sit back and enjoy the wonderful Milwaukee weather and TV. Will most likely watch our usual CBS Monday night line up. It has been in the 70s during the day and 50s at night here in Milwaukee. I have to say this has been the most enjoyable summer I can remember. We usually get a few streaks of 90s and we only had one so far this summer. It has been a very comfortable summer. Time to spell check.
Friday, August 21, 2009
August 21, 2009 Friday Night
My new BMW is smashed...............
Thursday afternoon I went to my Client Advisory Board meeting and then came home and did a little fixing of the deck boards on the side deck. Made some canned chili for dinner and went to bed around 10 PM after we finished watching the last episodes of season 4 of Weeds. This morning I got up but since it was a cloudy day I had a very hard time getting going. I went back to bed shortly after Tony left for work and laid in bed until around 10:30 AM. I didn't even do my usual Friday morning grocery shopping because I was so tired. Got up and showered so I was ready for Tony to pick me up and go to lunch with the guys. Had a great lunch with the guys. The food was not as good this time for Tony or I. On the way home from lunch, Tony driving my new BMW, a van pulled out in front of us. He has yet to officially give me the BMW until I quit smoking, so I have not even driven it yet. We were stopped at a red light. The light turned green so we proceeded to go through the intersection just as a van heading the opposite way decided to cut in front of us making a left turn right in front of all the cars going straight through the green light. I yelled Tony's name and in slow motion, brakes squealing, metal crunching, we slammed right into the side of the van. It all happened in slow motion but to fast to do much reacting. The old guy driving the Sta Kleen Janitory van looked like he shouldn't even be driving a car. I was so pissed. Tony took it in stride even though he also ended up getting a ticket because the car has yet to be registered in my name or have plates. Tony has 10 days to get the plates and the ticket will be removed from his record. The van driver got a 'failure to yield to right away' ticket. Already gave my recorded report of the accident to our insurance agent. Not sure if the van driver has insurance since at the time of the accident when the cop asked him he said he couldn't remember what insurance he has. Since he was driving a company van I think we are in good shape. The good news is neither Tony or I were hurt beyond having a little shoulder, neck and back pain. We both also have a low grade headache. I took a pain pill and told the insurance agent we would both go to emergency tomorrow if the pain does not go away. Sucks that my new BWM I never even drove, rode in maybe three times is now smashed. Of course it helps I have a man who works on cars for a living in my back pocket. Tony looks at this as a windfall. LOL. Spent the afternoon just laying around listening to music. Made some TV dinners for supper and now just watching some horror flicks on the Chill network. Nothing good on regular TV tonight. Tony did give Barkley a bath tonight and I dried him, hopefully a bath and this neck cone will help his sores go away. If it doesn't he will have to go back to the vet next week for an antibiotic. Kali's eye looks good today. I put ointment in it first thing this morning and it has been looking good all day. Cross your fingers I don't have to still take her to the vet. I feel like taking up donations for these misfits. They all need teeth cleaning and vet appointments. Thank god no major ailments. If I won the lottery they would all have their teeth cleaned on the same day.
Thursday afternoon I went to my Client Advisory Board meeting and then came home and did a little fixing of the deck boards on the side deck. Made some canned chili for dinner and went to bed around 10 PM after we finished watching the last episodes of season 4 of Weeds. This morning I got up but since it was a cloudy day I had a very hard time getting going. I went back to bed shortly after Tony left for work and laid in bed until around 10:30 AM. I didn't even do my usual Friday morning grocery shopping because I was so tired. Got up and showered so I was ready for Tony to pick me up and go to lunch with the guys. Had a great lunch with the guys. The food was not as good this time for Tony or I. On the way home from lunch, Tony driving my new BMW, a van pulled out in front of us. He has yet to officially give me the BMW until I quit smoking, so I have not even driven it yet. We were stopped at a red light. The light turned green so we proceeded to go through the intersection just as a van heading the opposite way decided to cut in front of us making a left turn right in front of all the cars going straight through the green light. I yelled Tony's name and in slow motion, brakes squealing, metal crunching, we slammed right into the side of the van. It all happened in slow motion but to fast to do much reacting. The old guy driving the Sta Kleen Janitory van looked like he shouldn't even be driving a car. I was so pissed. Tony took it in stride even though he also ended up getting a ticket because the car has yet to be registered in my name or have plates. Tony has 10 days to get the plates and the ticket will be removed from his record. The van driver got a 'failure to yield to right away' ticket. Already gave my recorded report of the accident to our insurance agent. Not sure if the van driver has insurance since at the time of the accident when the cop asked him he said he couldn't remember what insurance he has. Since he was driving a company van I think we are in good shape. The good news is neither Tony or I were hurt beyond having a little shoulder, neck and back pain. We both also have a low grade headache. I took a pain pill and told the insurance agent we would both go to emergency tomorrow if the pain does not go away. Sucks that my new BWM I never even drove, rode in maybe three times is now smashed. Of course it helps I have a man who works on cars for a living in my back pocket. Tony looks at this as a windfall. LOL. Spent the afternoon just laying around listening to music. Made some TV dinners for supper and now just watching some horror flicks on the Chill network. Nothing good on regular TV tonight. Tony did give Barkley a bath tonight and I dried him, hopefully a bath and this neck cone will help his sores go away. If it doesn't he will have to go back to the vet next week for an antibiotic. Kali's eye looks good today. I put ointment in it first thing this morning and it has been looking good all day. Cross your fingers I don't have to still take her to the vet. I feel like taking up donations for these misfits. They all need teeth cleaning and vet appointments. Thank god no major ailments. If I won the lottery they would all have their teeth cleaned on the same day.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
August 20, 2009 Thursday Morning
Good morning. I am sure for those who read the last post you were wondering if I ended up taking a nap for the afternoon or getting my butt outside to do some painting. Well, hope you put money on the painting because I got up and just started doing it. I got the three first floor side windows scrapped and painting by the time Tony came home. Two coats of paint on all three windows. I then showered again and Tony and I went to a couple of car shows. Two car shows. At least they include getting food since they are usually at fast food restaurants. Yesterday I was suppose to work but the project got postponed so I spent the entire day painting the first floor outside trim along the rain gutters on the north side of the house. Sanded, scrapped and put two coats of paint on it. My hands and fingers are killing me from holding the brush all day. It was my goal to get this part done and I did it. I like getting my goals done. I usually make a list of things I have to get done because I enjoy crossing them off as I accomplish them. After I was done painting I sat outside and watched a baby bird on the ground close to the pond so I locked up the dogs in the house and forced him/her to fly near a tree to hopefully get high enough so my dogs don't eat it. For about a half hour I watched the mother and father try to show this bird how to climb the tree branches. It was so cute. The baby would get a couple feet up and try going to the next branch only to miss and fall back to the ground and have to start over. It finally got high enough so I could let my dogs outside and not fear it would be eaten. Sad part is when I went outside to pick up the dog droppings this morning I had to pick up a dead baby bird. Not sure if it was the same one I watched so lovingly yesterday but it still makes me mad. My dogs seem to like to catch them and once they die they have no interest in them anymore. So sad. They are all wrens or something like that. Nests in the peaks and garages around here. Plus Tony feeds them daily. I feel sometimes like the farmer fattening them up for the kill. This is the 5th or 6th baby I have either had to fish out of the pond or pick off the ground. On this sad note. No sign of my baby bunny in the front yard either. I fear the worst. It has been about a week with no sign of him/her. It must be the one I saw on the street dead. Pisses me off since I fed this poor rabbit since March and watched him grow from a baby to what he was now. So sad. Kali still is having problems with her eye. I keep putting ointment in it but is doesn't seem to be getting better. She is very unhappy when she first wakes up and I have to put something in her eye immediately. Will have to call the vet. This afternoon I have my Advisory Board Meeting with ARCW. Also yesterday received my copy of the physiologist report that I requested. It was a social security doctor I had to go to. Well, what a joke. This report says more about the fact that I was well dressed and didn't have an odor than any of the mistakes in memory and math I KNOW I MADE. Bullshit! The report doesn't even mention any of the mistakes or memory problems and says I am MILDY AFFECTED. Bullshit! I knew this doctor was in social securities pocket. Rainy day in Milwaukee today. OK since I have to go to Home Depot for more paint and then my afternoon meeting. Will write again soon.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
August 18, 2009 Tuesday Noonish
OMG. I honestly can not believe the last time I posted was last Thursday. What the heck was I doing the last 5 days that I didn't post? Not much. My sun rash did go away by the weekend. Had our usual Friday lunch with the guys. The weekend here in Milwaukee was very hot and humid. I do not like hot or humid so we did not do much but watch a lot of TV and nap. Saturday afternoon we watched a Married With Children marathon. Love that show. Always did. Can not think of what we did Saturday night. Thinking nothing. Sunday after making breakfast we went to a car show, ended up going to two car shows since we saw one on the way, yippee. It is together time. Did the car shows early in the day because we knew it would be hot and humid. Spent the afternoon watching movies on Logo channel. (there is a great noon mix going on right now on the radio, Funky Town is playing, haven't heard this song in so long. Before that was a Madonna Get Into the Groove mix) Sorry, got sidetracked. 'Gotta move on, gotta move on........................Funky Town'. Just singing as I type. Sunday late in the day we went to Tony's brother's house for his son's graduation party. Spent a couple of hours with Tony's family which is always interesting if not entertaining. Funny thought I have to share. Prior to going to the graduation which Tony was not thrilled to go to I looked at Tony and said 'just think of all the cute guys that might be at the party that are friends of TJs'. We both looked at each other and before he could say a word I said 'well maybe their parents will be there'. We both still looked at each other doing the math in our heads until I broke the silence saying 'well, maybe their grandparents'. Jeez. When did I get so old? At 48 I could be a grandfather if I started early enough in life. It was a funny moment you had to be here for. Sunday night we watched a little TV before heading to bed.
Monday morning I got up early and went into work for 4 hours. Put the owners office back together after a good carpet cleaning the day prior. Had to get everything off the floor the Thursday before to prepare. It turned out good. Packed up a bunch of merchandise and labeled it. Brought some labels home to make with pictures of clothing that are in the boxes to put on the labels. Went into work today to tape the picture labels to the outside of the boxes. Last night we just watched the usual CBS lineup on TV while I downloaded more episodes of Weeds. I love that show. I would like to get out and do more painting on the house this afternoon but I just do not have the strength. Might have to push myself to do it. I will let you know if it turns out to be a nap instead. Sad news. The rabbit I always see daily that lives under the Cadillac in the front yard has been missing for about 4 days. Sunday I noticed a rabbit dead in the road two blocks down the street. I have a bad feeling. We have never gone this long not seeing the rabbit eating in the front yard. My carrots I leave out for him/her are untouched also. So sad. I will let you know if I see him again.
I got a response from a guy in the UK on my August 5th sex blog. If you are that person please email me at djones2659@att.net . I would really like to talk more with you.
Until we meet again. Be nice to yourself and others.
Monday morning I got up early and went into work for 4 hours. Put the owners office back together after a good carpet cleaning the day prior. Had to get everything off the floor the Thursday before to prepare. It turned out good. Packed up a bunch of merchandise and labeled it. Brought some labels home to make with pictures of clothing that are in the boxes to put on the labels. Went into work today to tape the picture labels to the outside of the boxes. Last night we just watched the usual CBS lineup on TV while I downloaded more episodes of Weeds. I love that show. I would like to get out and do more painting on the house this afternoon but I just do not have the strength. Might have to push myself to do it. I will let you know if it turns out to be a nap instead. Sad news. The rabbit I always see daily that lives under the Cadillac in the front yard has been missing for about 4 days. Sunday I noticed a rabbit dead in the road two blocks down the street. I have a bad feeling. We have never gone this long not seeing the rabbit eating in the front yard. My carrots I leave out for him/her are untouched also. So sad. I will let you know if I see him again.
I got a response from a guy in the UK on my August 5th sex blog. If you are that person please email me at djones2659@att.net . I would really like to talk more with you.
Until we meet again. Be nice to yourself and others.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
August 13, 2009 Thursday Night
Wow, where did this week go? I worked every day this week at least 5 or more hours. Got home each day and was exhausted. Yesterday I got home and laid on the bed for what I thought would be a 1/2 hour rest to wake up an hour or so later totally still tired and in a fog. Was half way into a cup of coffee when Tony got home. I didn't even hear him come in the door.
Kali's eye is doing much better. I only put ointment in it this morning. I don't think it will need any more. She is doing good. Next one is going to be Stella who is having hip problems and problems walking when she is laying down for any length of time. She is only about 7 or 8 years old. To young to have arthritis I hope. A vet visit will mean xrays and tests. Not in the budget right now. Hopefully it will not get worse soon. I do massage her hip and leg during the day. Tomorrow I am not going into work. Will do some grocery shopping in the morning and then lunch with the guys. I am actually looking forward to a long long nap tomorrow afternoon. Will write again soon. Guess life is getting pretty close to what was 'normal'. It is starting to feel that way. I feel I am at about 75%.
Kali's eye is doing much better. I only put ointment in it this morning. I don't think it will need any more. She is doing good. Next one is going to be Stella who is having hip problems and problems walking when she is laying down for any length of time. She is only about 7 or 8 years old. To young to have arthritis I hope. A vet visit will mean xrays and tests. Not in the budget right now. Hopefully it will not get worse soon. I do massage her hip and leg during the day. Tomorrow I am not going into work. Will do some grocery shopping in the morning and then lunch with the guys. I am actually looking forward to a long long nap tomorrow afternoon. Will write again soon. Guess life is getting pretty close to what was 'normal'. It is starting to feel that way. I feel I am at about 75%.
Monday, August 10, 2009
August 10, 2009 Monday Late Afternoon
Itchy rash all over my arms, shoulders and neck.
This morning I got up and out of the house by 8:30 and was to work by 9 AM. I put in 4 hours filing and taking care of challenges. Got home and did a little around the house before taking Kali back to the vet to see what is wrong with her eye. $115 dollars later she like I thought, scratched her eye most likely with a toe nail. Had to put die in her eye and look with a purple light to see the scratch. Nice big scratch along the bottom of her eye ball. Could see it well. The vet gave me more of the antibiotic ointment I had been putting in her eye all weekend and told me I was doing all that could be done. She hopefully will be better in a week. So sad to see her looking at me with her left eye closed. Poor girl. She won't leave my side when I am at home. She loves her daddy. Had to call my mom and Tony and tell them once again I was correct that something was not right with her. I keep telling Tony 'I know my dogs'. He seems to think all is well as long as he doesn't look at the problem or challenge. Dropped Kali off at home and drove to Walgreen's to talk to the pharmacist about my rash and see what he thinks. Pharmacist told me to take Benadryle and Hyrocotiosone ointment and hopefully it will get better. He said it is most likely a reaction to the meds and sun. Guess I can not go in the sun at all without sun block anymore for any length of time. FUCK. One more thing taken away from me and I have to do. I hate having AIDS and taking these meds. My skin itches so bad it feels like poison ivy or something. This frickin heat outside is not helping since it makes me sweat and then itch more. Making Lasagna (frozen) for dinner. You didn't really think I could make it from scratch did you? I did once or twice but it is a lot of work. Just typing the word scratch made me itch. Have to show the apartment tonight around 7 PM and then it will be a night on the couch with the dogs and the CBS lineup trying not to scratch my skin. I feel like it is crawling on me. Horrible feeling. Last time this happened if I remember it lasted about a week. I think it was when we went to a car show in the sun all day. I will have to go back and check my blog and see how long the last time this happened it lasted. I know it was from being in the sun at the motorcycle festival on and off all day Saturday. I did not put any sun screen on because it was mostly cloudy. Guess it don't matter clouds or not, either sun screen or shade. Tomorrow I will go in and work about 4 hours again. Seems to be my limit. After about 4 hours I feel myself having to 'push' more to do anything before resting. Did I mention how much my neck, shoulders and arms itch! I am about to go nuts from the itching. The Benadryle better kick in soon.
This morning I got up and out of the house by 8:30 and was to work by 9 AM. I put in 4 hours filing and taking care of challenges. Got home and did a little around the house before taking Kali back to the vet to see what is wrong with her eye. $115 dollars later she like I thought, scratched her eye most likely with a toe nail. Had to put die in her eye and look with a purple light to see the scratch. Nice big scratch along the bottom of her eye ball. Could see it well. The vet gave me more of the antibiotic ointment I had been putting in her eye all weekend and told me I was doing all that could be done. She hopefully will be better in a week. So sad to see her looking at me with her left eye closed. Poor girl. She won't leave my side when I am at home. She loves her daddy. Had to call my mom and Tony and tell them once again I was correct that something was not right with her. I keep telling Tony 'I know my dogs'. He seems to think all is well as long as he doesn't look at the problem or challenge. Dropped Kali off at home and drove to Walgreen's to talk to the pharmacist about my rash and see what he thinks. Pharmacist told me to take Benadryle and Hyrocotiosone ointment and hopefully it will get better. He said it is most likely a reaction to the meds and sun. Guess I can not go in the sun at all without sun block anymore for any length of time. FUCK. One more thing taken away from me and I have to do. I hate having AIDS and taking these meds. My skin itches so bad it feels like poison ivy or something. This frickin heat outside is not helping since it makes me sweat and then itch more. Making Lasagna (frozen) for dinner. You didn't really think I could make it from scratch did you? I did once or twice but it is a lot of work. Just typing the word scratch made me itch. Have to show the apartment tonight around 7 PM and then it will be a night on the couch with the dogs and the CBS lineup trying not to scratch my skin. I feel like it is crawling on me. Horrible feeling. Last time this happened if I remember it lasted about a week. I think it was when we went to a car show in the sun all day. I will have to go back and check my blog and see how long the last time this happened it lasted. I know it was from being in the sun at the motorcycle festival on and off all day Saturday. I did not put any sun screen on because it was mostly cloudy. Guess it don't matter clouds or not, either sun screen or shade. Tomorrow I will go in and work about 4 hours again. Seems to be my limit. After about 4 hours I feel myself having to 'push' more to do anything before resting. Did I mention how much my neck, shoulders and arms itch! I am about to go nuts from the itching. The Benadryle better kick in soon.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
August 9, 2009 Sunday Morning
Hot, Humid and Horrible. That is all I can say about today's weather.
Friday night we went to lunch with the guys and had an enjoyable lunch as always. Friday night after Tony got home from work I ordered pizza and we were in bed by 10 PM. Kali again is not well. All of a sudden Friday night around 7 PM she jumped off the couch from sitting next to me and started going nuts scratching her left side of her head against the floor. She was making little noises also so I knew something was not right. She would not open her left eye. She either must have gotten something in it or scratched it with her nails. I have some eye antibiotic ointment and tear stimulator drops I immediately started putting in her eye. I know from past experience from other dogs scratching their eyes that there is not much that can be done but drops and an antibiotic till it heals. She was not happy all night and slept on my pillow with her head touching mine. Saturday I put ointment in during the course of the day and although she does not want to open it she is not trying to scratch it either. Today is much the same. If it is not better by Monday she will go to the vet again. Poor thing. Old age is not being kind to her. She is my special girl and I always tell her if there was a fire I would grab her first. Of course I never let the other dogs hear me tell her that and I say much the same to them. LOL.
Saturday on the attached road to our house on Center Street there was a Rockerbocker Motorcycle block party that stretched out to 5 blocks. Over a thousand motorcycles old and new. Some very old. We went up to it several times during the day coming home briefly in between due to the heat. Close to 90 degrees and humid most of the day. Thank god we are by Lake Michigan because it gave a bit of relief being so close to the lake. Had lunch and dinner at the festival. Was a nice day in spite of the heat. Was nice to stay close to home all day yet get out and see all the hot motorcycle guys. My eyes hurt by the end of the day.
Today it is already so frickin hot out I don't even want to think about going outside. I did run to Walmart to try to pick up an item for work. Of course they did not have it at the Walmart here by my house. I do not like Walmart that much and feel I need a shower after I get back due to the customers. I have a very bad ichy rash today on my arms and shoulders from being out in the sun yesterday. Even though it was cloudy most of the day, it was hot, and I did put a muscle shirt on later in the day. Big mistake. Today my shoulders and arms have red blotches and itch like hell. I think it is from the Atripla? Others have told me they have the same problem and can no longer go out in the sun. In a little while my parents are coming into town to give Tony and I a coffee table they are replacing with a new one. Their old one is new to us and in perfect condition. We will then go out to lunch and smile pretending nothing is wrong with my health. Have to watch everything I say in moments like these. If I make the mistake of mentioning a meeting or something it then leads to what type of meeting and such. Not easy sometimes to hold a conversation and have to watch every word that comes out of your mouth. Can not even mention the rash. Had to hide a few meds and business cards I had around the house. Also covered the back calender so they don't see the 'HIV meeting' stickers on the calendar. These are the things I am talking about when having to watch who you tell or say what to. After we get the furniture and go to lunch I am sure they will be on their way back to Oconomowoc and we will just lay around the rest of the afternoon. TOO HOT TO DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE. I hate this heat. Monday is suppose to be much the same. YUCK.
Friday night we went to lunch with the guys and had an enjoyable lunch as always. Friday night after Tony got home from work I ordered pizza and we were in bed by 10 PM. Kali again is not well. All of a sudden Friday night around 7 PM she jumped off the couch from sitting next to me and started going nuts scratching her left side of her head against the floor. She was making little noises also so I knew something was not right. She would not open her left eye. She either must have gotten something in it or scratched it with her nails. I have some eye antibiotic ointment and tear stimulator drops I immediately started putting in her eye. I know from past experience from other dogs scratching their eyes that there is not much that can be done but drops and an antibiotic till it heals. She was not happy all night and slept on my pillow with her head touching mine. Saturday I put ointment in during the course of the day and although she does not want to open it she is not trying to scratch it either. Today is much the same. If it is not better by Monday she will go to the vet again. Poor thing. Old age is not being kind to her. She is my special girl and I always tell her if there was a fire I would grab her first. Of course I never let the other dogs hear me tell her that and I say much the same to them. LOL.
Saturday on the attached road to our house on Center Street there was a Rockerbocker Motorcycle block party that stretched out to 5 blocks. Over a thousand motorcycles old and new. Some very old. We went up to it several times during the day coming home briefly in between due to the heat. Close to 90 degrees and humid most of the day. Thank god we are by Lake Michigan because it gave a bit of relief being so close to the lake. Had lunch and dinner at the festival. Was a nice day in spite of the heat. Was nice to stay close to home all day yet get out and see all the hot motorcycle guys. My eyes hurt by the end of the day.
Today it is already so frickin hot out I don't even want to think about going outside. I did run to Walmart to try to pick up an item for work. Of course they did not have it at the Walmart here by my house. I do not like Walmart that much and feel I need a shower after I get back due to the customers. I have a very bad ichy rash today on my arms and shoulders from being out in the sun yesterday. Even though it was cloudy most of the day, it was hot, and I did put a muscle shirt on later in the day. Big mistake. Today my shoulders and arms have red blotches and itch like hell. I think it is from the Atripla? Others have told me they have the same problem and can no longer go out in the sun. In a little while my parents are coming into town to give Tony and I a coffee table they are replacing with a new one. Their old one is new to us and in perfect condition. We will then go out to lunch and smile pretending nothing is wrong with my health. Have to watch everything I say in moments like these. If I make the mistake of mentioning a meeting or something it then leads to what type of meeting and such. Not easy sometimes to hold a conversation and have to watch every word that comes out of your mouth. Can not even mention the rash. Had to hide a few meds and business cards I had around the house. Also covered the back calender so they don't see the 'HIV meeting' stickers on the calendar. These are the things I am talking about when having to watch who you tell or say what to. After we get the furniture and go to lunch I am sure they will be on their way back to Oconomowoc and we will just lay around the rest of the afternoon. TOO HOT TO DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE. I hate this heat. Monday is suppose to be much the same. YUCK.
Friday, August 7, 2009
August 6, 2009 Friday Morning
Happy Friday morning. On this day in history: 9 years ago today I euthanized my first dog Shadow. She is the black Pomeranian in the pictures on the side bar. She was the first dog I ever had to personally make that dreaded decision to end her life. I remember the weeks leading up to it and the day and days afterwards. I cry every time I think how she should never have been put down that day by the quack doctor that did it. He was new that day, never met him, and just kinda made the decision before Tony and I had a chance to take her to a specialist for her coughing. I also was not very kind to her in her last two weeks. Tony and I were under a lot of stress at the time and should have handled the whole thing differently. She was 12 1/2 years young. I have always said if I had the chance to change a couple things in my life one would have been how Shadow was euthanized and her final weeks. I sure hope she forgave me for my lack of compassion in her final weeks when she needed me most. I was not a good daddy and still regret to this day.
One year ago today I was fired from the job I had held for 4 1/2 years. As you all know I am back working for the owner on a limited basis. The months after this firing I am sure took a toll on my health and helped get me to where I was at Christmas time and then the dreaded AIDS diagnosis in January. Thank goodness I am not bitter. LOL
Wednesday night Tony and I went to Phantom of the Opera. It was good. Never saw it before. Not sure I would see it again. But it was entertaining. Thursday I put in about 5 hours at work on the computer and helping people with challenges. Got some money for my July hours which was very much needed due to no rent this month from the upstairs rental. Money is a little tight this month. Sure hope I find a tenant soon. Made a big dinner last night of rice, green beans and pot roast. This morning Tony and I have spent more time on the toilet than on the couch watching the morning news. Maybe this is a sign I should not cook? Yah, I can go with that. I will have to tell Tony that tonight when we order out. Suppose to get some big thunder storms tonight so I am looking forward to staying home and enjoying them. I usually go grocery shopping on Friday mornings but with the bowel pain and just feeling crappy today I think I will not go shopping. Hopefully I will feel better by lunch so Tony and I can have lunch with the guys. Since we missed last Friday's lunch because of the carpet installation I am looking forward to the laughs. We always laugh and have such a good lunch every Friday with the guys. Suppose to be in the 90s Saturday thru Monday. YUCK. Guess we will be catching up on weeks worth of Weeds and Nurse Jackie I have been downloading. I made a new dance megamix the other day. It has a lot of the already mixed music but in a different version and a few new songs. Check it out. It is at the top of this page.
One year ago today I was fired from the job I had held for 4 1/2 years. As you all know I am back working for the owner on a limited basis. The months after this firing I am sure took a toll on my health and helped get me to where I was at Christmas time and then the dreaded AIDS diagnosis in January. Thank goodness I am not bitter. LOL
Wednesday night Tony and I went to Phantom of the Opera. It was good. Never saw it before. Not sure I would see it again. But it was entertaining. Thursday I put in about 5 hours at work on the computer and helping people with challenges. Got some money for my July hours which was very much needed due to no rent this month from the upstairs rental. Money is a little tight this month. Sure hope I find a tenant soon. Made a big dinner last night of rice, green beans and pot roast. This morning Tony and I have spent more time on the toilet than on the couch watching the morning news. Maybe this is a sign I should not cook? Yah, I can go with that. I will have to tell Tony that tonight when we order out. Suppose to get some big thunder storms tonight so I am looking forward to staying home and enjoying them. I usually go grocery shopping on Friday mornings but with the bowel pain and just feeling crappy today I think I will not go shopping. Hopefully I will feel better by lunch so Tony and I can have lunch with the guys. Since we missed last Friday's lunch because of the carpet installation I am looking forward to the laughs. We always laugh and have such a good lunch every Friday with the guys. Suppose to be in the 90s Saturday thru Monday. YUCK. Guess we will be catching up on weeks worth of Weeds and Nurse Jackie I have been downloading. I made a new dance megamix the other day. It has a lot of the already mixed music but in a different version and a few new songs. Check it out. It is at the top of this page.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
August 5, 2009 Wednesday Sex Post
The following post is about sex. So, if you do not want to read about gay sex, skip this post.
I wasn't sure if I was going to share this but since I promised to be honest and direct with my life here it goes. I am so mad at myself and Tony. More at myself, but still at Tony. As I have mentioned in earlier posts Tony and my sex life consists of me giving him oral sex while I masturbate. It is satisfying to both of us. We have discussed the risks and since it is the less risky sex we both have felt comfortable continuing. Shortly after the beginning of the year Tony developed a small sore on his penis. The doctor said this was due to the thrush in my mouth at the time and that an antibiotic ointment and holding off for a while would be the best solution. It is nothing but a fungus type infection. Not any other sexually transmitted disease. We followed the doctors orders and by April or May all was clear again and we continued. Now that you have a little background.......... The other night we were having sex when in the middle of oral sex I noticed Tony once again had a small sore on his penis. Same spot, near the lip of the head. Of course I stopped and pointed it out to Tony. He blew it off as no big deal and had me continue. I reluctantly continued. After the sex I felt horrible about this and was so mad that myself or him didn't had enough control to just STOP the act. Can sex be that important that we would risk his or my life over it? We didn't talk for about an hour until I went into the bedroom where he was still laying on the bed. I brought up the discussion about how I felt about us being so stupid and careless and told Tony I would never again give him oral sex if he has a sore on his penis. I know HIV can not be transmitted through saliva but I also know it can be transmitted if I had a sore in my mouth to his sore on his penis through blood. How stupid could we be? Tony like I said showed no concern and still doesn't. I on the other hand am so mad at myself because it would kill me if some day Tony turned up HIV+ due to me. I share this with you so that others not only can see my faults, but also how a couple together over 20 years deals with the fact when one is HIV+ and the other is HIV-. I share this to show we are all just human and make mistakes and risky decisions even though we should know better. Any comments positive or negative, or personal experiences would be helpful and appreciated. If anyone can share their stories in a similar situation it would help me and others. If you do not feel comfortable posting a response here please email me at djones2659@att.net.
I wasn't sure if I was going to share this but since I promised to be honest and direct with my life here it goes. I am so mad at myself and Tony. More at myself, but still at Tony. As I have mentioned in earlier posts Tony and my sex life consists of me giving him oral sex while I masturbate. It is satisfying to both of us. We have discussed the risks and since it is the less risky sex we both have felt comfortable continuing. Shortly after the beginning of the year Tony developed a small sore on his penis. The doctor said this was due to the thrush in my mouth at the time and that an antibiotic ointment and holding off for a while would be the best solution. It is nothing but a fungus type infection. Not any other sexually transmitted disease. We followed the doctors orders and by April or May all was clear again and we continued. Now that you have a little background.......... The other night we were having sex when in the middle of oral sex I noticed Tony once again had a small sore on his penis. Same spot, near the lip of the head. Of course I stopped and pointed it out to Tony. He blew it off as no big deal and had me continue. I reluctantly continued. After the sex I felt horrible about this and was so mad that myself or him didn't had enough control to just STOP the act. Can sex be that important that we would risk his or my life over it? We didn't talk for about an hour until I went into the bedroom where he was still laying on the bed. I brought up the discussion about how I felt about us being so stupid and careless and told Tony I would never again give him oral sex if he has a sore on his penis. I know HIV can not be transmitted through saliva but I also know it can be transmitted if I had a sore in my mouth to his sore on his penis through blood. How stupid could we be? Tony like I said showed no concern and still doesn't. I on the other hand am so mad at myself because it would kill me if some day Tony turned up HIV+ due to me. I share this with you so that others not only can see my faults, but also how a couple together over 20 years deals with the fact when one is HIV+ and the other is HIV-. I share this to show we are all just human and make mistakes and risky decisions even though we should know better. Any comments positive or negative, or personal experiences would be helpful and appreciated. If anyone can share their stories in a similar situation it would help me and others. If you do not feel comfortable posting a response here please email me at djones2659@att.net.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
August 4, 2009 Tuesday Night
Monday morning I was up early and out the door by 9 AM to put in some hours at work. Left work about 1 PM and what should be a half hour drive home turned into an hour and a half drive home due to an accident on the expressway and no way to get off but one lane closing the expressway on an off ramp. Picked up Stella at Tony's shop and came home and played around on my laptop for the afternoon trying to figure out a way to open xlsx files. I can not open them on my desktop due to the old software. I can open them on my laptop but it is a demo/trial version and only good for a little bit more time. Anyone got a version of Works Office for Visa they can send me? Made a little dinner and Tony and I were in bed by 9 PM watching TV. Fell asleep soon after and turned off the TV sometime during the night. We were both so tired. Hope the dogs enjoyed the TV while we slept. Turned on the central air conditioning today due to it getting a bit humid.
Today it was humid again until the wind shifted about noon and came off lake Michigan cooling things off. Turned off the air this afternoon. I think it will stay off until this weekend. Suppose to be in the 90s this weekend. Humid. Too hot and humid for me. Have a few things on our list but if it is too humid and hot I will be spending the weekend indoors with the air on. Got Stella at Tony's shop around noon today due to him having no help and didn't need a dog on his hands also just holding down the fort. Took a longer than expected nap this afternoon and then made spaghetti for dinner. After dinner we went to the usual Tuesday night car show at Harley Davidson Museum. They are getting very boring. Tony still enjoys them and since we have very little else to do, it is something, and it is together time. So what could be so bad, right? Wednesday I have a meeting and a prospective tenant coming to see the apartment prior to us going to see Phantom of the Opera at the PAC here in Milwaukee. It is the Broadway version of it. Never seen any version. God, please let it not be opera. I don't do opera and will not stay for the whole thing if it is. I guess there are different versions around of it so we will see. I like musicals, not opera. It was part of the season passes we bought. Not much else to report. Just keeping busy around the house. Had a little break down this morning cursing myself for getting AIDS but pulled myself out of it within an hour. Sometimes I just get so mad that I wasn't 'one of the lucky ones' like I had thought all these years.
Today it was humid again until the wind shifted about noon and came off lake Michigan cooling things off. Turned off the air this afternoon. I think it will stay off until this weekend. Suppose to be in the 90s this weekend. Humid. Too hot and humid for me. Have a few things on our list but if it is too humid and hot I will be spending the weekend indoors with the air on. Got Stella at Tony's shop around noon today due to him having no help and didn't need a dog on his hands also just holding down the fort. Took a longer than expected nap this afternoon and then made spaghetti for dinner. After dinner we went to the usual Tuesday night car show at Harley Davidson Museum. They are getting very boring. Tony still enjoys them and since we have very little else to do, it is something, and it is together time. So what could be so bad, right? Wednesday I have a meeting and a prospective tenant coming to see the apartment prior to us going to see Phantom of the Opera at the PAC here in Milwaukee. It is the Broadway version of it. Never seen any version. God, please let it not be opera. I don't do opera and will not stay for the whole thing if it is. I guess there are different versions around of it so we will see. I like musicals, not opera. It was part of the season passes we bought. Not much else to report. Just keeping busy around the house. Had a little break down this morning cursing myself for getting AIDS but pulled myself out of it within an hour. Sometimes I just get so mad that I wasn't 'one of the lucky ones' like I had thought all these years.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
August 2, 2009 Sunday Night
Friday was a busy frustrating day. The tenants had to be out by 2 PM so the new carpet could be installed. About noon the carpet guys called and said they were on their way. I told him we agreed on a 2 PM time and the tenants were still cleaning and moving stuff out. Of course he said he was coming anyway and would wait. Since having a confrontation earlier in the week with the tenants I thought it best to call Tony home and have him break the news they need to pick up the pace. Tony did come home and waited until the carpet guys got started before I sent him back to work and my panic was gone. It took all afternoon to install the carpet. All the banging and pounding upstairs kept the four dogs barking for 4 hours straight. I could have strangled each one of them by 5 PM when the carpet guys left. It turned out very nice. The tenants returned and spent the night finishing the cleaning. I during the course of the day finished the painting, cleaned every window inside and out including storms, cleaned the ceiling fans and globes, and basically helped get the apartment done. I updated the web sight with new pictures of the empty apartment as it stands now, check it out at: http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/apa/1300317229.html
I think I did a great job with the colors, painting and cleaning? Friday night Tony and I stayed home and cooked burgers on the grill and some rice. We went to bed by 10 PM we were both so tired.
Saturday we did a little more cleaning and fixing of the upper apartment until about noon. After than we walked two blocks up the road to a fund raiser for a 21 year old that was shot on the way home about 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately there have been to many shootings in the neighborhood lately. Was a very very nice fund raiser. Must have been over 20 family members running the food, raffles and such. We talked with a couple family members letting them know how bad we all in the neighborhood feel and how it could have been any of us. I cried a bit talking with the mother. We got home around 4 PM and took a nap. Ordered some food for delivery and went to bed around 10:30 PM.
This morning we were both up early and read the Sunday newspaper. I then made pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Showered and drove the the corner grocery store to buy some fruit and milk for the week since I was not able to go on Friday like I usually do. Tony cleaned the tenants washer and dryer while I went grocery shopping. We spent the after noon at the Racine County Fair with friends from my HIV group and lunch. We had a great time. Spent a couple hours walking around eating before going to the grandstands for the demo derby. Watched two rounds before it was getting time to go home to the dogs and feed them. Got home around 5:30 PM. I have gotten a couple responses on the ad and sign out front for the apartment. Hate this bullshit. A girl was to be here about 6:30 PM to see it. It is now going on 8 PM so I guess she is a no show. If she calls from this point out she already has a strike against her. Screening the next tenants is never fun. Tony says this time HE is picking the tenants. Monday I have to go back and put in some hours at work. Enjoyed having last week off. Not as excited as in the past about going back again tomorrow.
Dogs. Kali is doing great. Back to her old self. Stella needs to go to the vet this week because she has been limping on her back right leg. I think it might be arthritis but being the good daddy I am, I have to have it checked. More money for the vet.
I think I did a great job with the colors, painting and cleaning? Friday night Tony and I stayed home and cooked burgers on the grill and some rice. We went to bed by 10 PM we were both so tired.
Saturday we did a little more cleaning and fixing of the upper apartment until about noon. After than we walked two blocks up the road to a fund raiser for a 21 year old that was shot on the way home about 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately there have been to many shootings in the neighborhood lately. Was a very very nice fund raiser. Must have been over 20 family members running the food, raffles and such. We talked with a couple family members letting them know how bad we all in the neighborhood feel and how it could have been any of us. I cried a bit talking with the mother. We got home around 4 PM and took a nap. Ordered some food for delivery and went to bed around 10:30 PM.
This morning we were both up early and read the Sunday newspaper. I then made pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Showered and drove the the corner grocery store to buy some fruit and milk for the week since I was not able to go on Friday like I usually do. Tony cleaned the tenants washer and dryer while I went grocery shopping. We spent the after noon at the Racine County Fair with friends from my HIV group and lunch. We had a great time. Spent a couple hours walking around eating before going to the grandstands for the demo derby. Watched two rounds before it was getting time to go home to the dogs and feed them. Got home around 5:30 PM. I have gotten a couple responses on the ad and sign out front for the apartment. Hate this bullshit. A girl was to be here about 6:30 PM to see it. It is now going on 8 PM so I guess she is a no show. If she calls from this point out she already has a strike against her. Screening the next tenants is never fun. Tony says this time HE is picking the tenants. Monday I have to go back and put in some hours at work. Enjoyed having last week off. Not as excited as in the past about going back again tomorrow.
Dogs. Kali is doing great. Back to her old self. Stella needs to go to the vet this week because she has been limping on her back right leg. I think it might be arthritis but being the good daddy I am, I have to have it checked. More money for the vet.
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