November 27, 2010 Saturday Late Morning

Had a great Thanksgiving with my side of the family. Ate a lot of food and went home with a bunch of leftovers. Spent the rest of the night watching TV before going to bed around 10:30 PM. Love the huge newspaper on Thanksgiving Day.

Friday morning we slept in until about 7 AM. We drove to Best Buy around 9 AM determined to either return our washing machine we bought 5 months ago or buy a new one. After talking with the clerk we decided it is best to call a service person first since it is under warranty. It just doesn't get the clothing clean. It is a front load machine and because of the water conserving features, I swear the clothes never get totally washed much less soak. Came home and Tony went to work. I spent the morning listening to music. Tony picked me up for lunch with the guys a little after 11:30 AM. Had a GREAT lunch with the guys. Had more people than normal because of the day after Thanksgiving and not having to work. We spent over an hour and a half at lunch laughing and having a great time. Tony then dropped me off at home and went back to work for a couple hours before returning by 4:00 PM for the day. I made leftovers for dinner from Mom's house the day prior. Spent the night watching some movies I downloaded. Watched The Messenger's and some TV DVR'd stuff before going to bed around 9:30 PM. We both were tired and watched the news in bed before actually sleeping.

This morning after making us some cheese omelets for breakfast we pulled out the washing machine we have to check the hoses. One hose could possibly be the problem since it had a small kink in it. We put new hoses on the washing machine and I am doing the first load of laundry now hoping we solved the problem. If it doesn't solve the problem I will call for a service person to come out and look at it ASAP. No plans the rest of the day or weekend which is nice. It is in the 20s here in Wisconsin and very cold outside so staying indoors is the best option.

November 24, 2010 Wednesday Dinner Time

Last night we watched the final to Dancing With The Stars. Although Bristol Palin had no business being in the final, I was glad how the ranking turned out. It would have been a more exciting show if Brandy and Jennifer Grey had BOTH been in the final. I was so glad to see my boy Derik Hough and Jennifer Grey win the trophy. Went to bed shortly after the show ended at 10 PM.

This morning I was up by 6 AM and got the dogs fed and Tony off to work. Tony was already not in a good mood by the time I got up since he had cleaned up two messes from the dog we are dog sitting. As much as I love this dog, I hope this is the last time we have to take care of him since he is so old and has lost his bowel strength. Watched the DWTS cast on Good Morning America before showering and heading out for my doctor appointment. The doctor thinks I should continue another two week course of the antibiotic before we proceed with anything else. He also suggested taking two Anti diarrheal pills prior to going to bed each night to help with the morning bowel movements. I will try it starting tonight. Came home after stopping at Walgreen's and picking up my prescriptions. Made tomato soup again for lunch and then took a two hour nap with the dogs. When I got up at 3 PM it was snowing outside. Did a little around the house and am making hamburgers and beans for dinner with a salad. I just hope Tony didn't have hamburgers for lunch. Either way he is having them again for dinner tonight. Will spend the night watching the ABC lineup on TV before going to bed. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to all my followers. Maybe anyone reading this blog could this one time comment and tell me what they are most thankful for this year. I am most thankful that I am still able to get up each morning and go to bed each night, mostly, just to be alive. I also am thankful for all the followers and such that have responded so positively to my blog and continue to follow my daily activities. I consider you all friends. Thank you.

November 23, 2010 Tuesday Night

Got up this morning by 6:30 AM. Got the dogs fed and Tony off to work. Read a little of the morning news paper and then got in the shower to start my day. About 10 AM I drove to Pick N Save and did some grocery shopping. Once again spending more than I would think. Are food prices going through the roof or am I just buying more food each week? Came home and watched a little TV before making myself a ham sandwich for lunch. Spent the afternoon napping with the dogs. We had a high of 32 degrees today in Milwaukee. Yesterday we had a high of 65 degrees. Quite a temperature swing in 24 hours. Made some ravioli for dinner with garlic bread and a salad. I have had pain all day today in my bladder area. I am glad I go to the doctor tomorrow morning for the follow up appointment regarding this pain. I still am on the two week course of antibiotics so I am a little scared. I don't think the antibiotic is working any more or something more is going to have to be done. Either way, I was just hoping this was healing and going away and it is not. A friend dropped off his dog around 5 PM tonight so we can dog sit for the next week. He is the 16 year old dog we take care of often. I've said it before, I need another dog around this house as much as a hole in the head. Six is too many to have under your feet and let out all day. I guess I should be happy they are all house trained. Will spend the night watching the Dancing With The Stars Results Show. Jennifer Grey better win or I will not be a happy guy. She deserves to win based on the fact this is a dancing competition and not a Republican popularity contest. If Bristol Palin wins I will call the show / network tomorrow and complain. Will let you know what the doctor says after my appointment tomorrow regarding this pain that has now been around for almost two months.

November 22, 2010 Monday Night

Was up around 2:30 AM with the runs. I know that is hardly a great way to start today's blog, but it was the way I started my day. Went back to bed and was up again by 6:30 AM with more of the same fun. Got Tony off to work and fed the dogs before making myself a bowl of cereal and going back to bed. Canceled my therapy appointment prior to going back to bed since I didn't feel like leaving the house under these conditions. After I got up around noon I noticed the pain is back in my prostate area. Was going to cancel my follow up appointment for Wednesday, I am glad I did not at this point. I had been pain free for about a week so I am a little concerned as to why the pain has returned. I still am on the antibiotic so this is not good. It might be from being on the toilet so much this morning, but either way, it is real pain. The pain is in my bladder area and goes down behind my left testicle. Damn, I thought I was getting better. Spent the afternoon wrapping Christmas presents and vacuuming the house while I watched the weather reports. It got up to 65 degrees this afternoon but the warm weather brought thunder storms and tornadoes south of Milwaukee. We had rain and thunder this morning also as the warm front came through. It is suppose to drop 30 degrees tonight and winter is coming fast. Making a meat loaf, corn and mashed potato with a salad for dinner. Tony just called to say he will be home a little late as he waits for a customer to drop off a check. Will spend the night watching the final for Dancing With The Stars and most likely go to bed early since I didn't take a nap, and of course the pain. Tomorrow I have to go to Walgreen's and pick up a prescription and a refill of the antibiotic as well as do a little grocery shopping for milk and fresh fruit at Pick N Save. I then have my doctor appointment Wednesday morning. I am not happy about this because the doctor hinted if the pain is not gone by my Wednesday follow up appointment he will have to look up in my butt and prostate more than just a finger. Even though I am gay, I use my butt for nothing else but poopin. Using it for anything else hasn't been an option for about 15 years since I had hemorrhoid surgery. So the thought of him going up there with anything bigger than a finger, which was bad enough, is not a pleasant thought. But might be necessary unfortunately. Hopefully I just strained myself from the runs this morning. I'm hoping anyway. Other than that is was an uneventful day at home. I did take Stella for a walk around the block sometime after noon which was my only time I left the house today. I did go outside to pick up the side yard's dog droppings also. The news is reporting a couple of tornado's near the Racine area and looks like a lot of people are without power. I do love storms, but can enjoy them when they are just a little away as well as if they are on top of us.

November 21, 2010 Sunday Night

Had a great lunch on Friday with the guys. Came home and spent the afternoon listening to music and cleaning the house. Tony got home around 6 PM and we spent the night watching two movies: The Kids Are All Right and Dream Boy. Dream Boy was better than The Kids Are All Right. I have a problem with movies like TKAAR when one of the main gay characters who is a lesbian in the movie, then sleeps with a man. I think straight people see movies like this and think gay people can 'choose' who they want to sleep with. Fact it, if your gay, your gay. You don't go sleeping with someone of the opposite sex unless you bi. Movie like that just feed into the though that being gay is a 'choice'. Went to bed around 10:30 PM.

Saturday morning after reading the newspaper, making a bagel for us for breakfast, we showered and went to Farm And Fleet. Spent $250 on candy and stuff for Christmas. We did buy a lot of chocolate, nuts and candy. Here comes the weight eating all this. We should have gone to Farm and Fleet prior to lunch at Taco Bell. LOL. Stopped off at Tony's brothers house who recently found out he is stage four cancer. He was not home but we spent and hour talking to his wife. I think she needed it. Came home and took an hour nap before getting up and spending the night watching TV shows I DVR'd during the week. We went to bed around 10:00 PM.

Sunday we got up, fed the dogs, read a little of the Sunday newspaper and then showered and drove to Tony's mom's house on the south side taking her out for breakfast. After breakfast we went to Target to do some more Christmas shopping. Spent another $225.00. The good news I am almost done with all our Christmas shopping for the family. I can now just concentrate on things to buy Tony for Christmas. We did not buy any more candy at Target. Tony had a bag of some kind of candy in the cart and looked at him and said 'no more candy'. Got home around 1 PM and spent the afternoon watching the movie The Box on HBO. HBO and Showtime are free this weekend. Walked across the alley and talked with the neighbor for about a half hour before coming back home and watching more TV. It is almost 50 degrees today but cloudy and drizzling. Not a good day. Made salad, soup and bread sticks for dinner. We are now watching Law And Order SVU I DVR'd last week and will then settle in the the Music Awards on ABC tonight. Tomorrow it is suppose to again be about 50 degrees and then winter comes to Wisconsin. By Thursday we are expecting a high in the 20s and snow. YUCK! Tomorrow I have a therapy appointment later in the morning and that's it until Wednesday when I am suppose to go in for a follow up appointment for the pain I had in my prostate. Since the pain is gone and the antibiotic has done it's job I am most likely going to cancel the appointment. No sense in spending $50 to see the doctor to have him tell me he is glad to see I am better. Am so happy to see my visitor counter raise. I have always had a goal of having 10,000 visitors by January 2011. That would be two years to the day of setting up this blog. I think I just might get there since I am over 9000 already. Glad so many of you read my blog and again Thank You. I do it for me as much as you.

November 19, 2010 Friday Morning

Spent the day yesterday listening to old disco and made a loop of my favorite old disco songs that shaped my life back in the 80's. It is not really a mix, since the songs are hard to mix, as it is a loop of all my favorites. Depending on how popular it is will be the key to me making more. I do have thousands of old disco on my computer and a lot more favorites I could make loops out of. Maybe someday I will try to make a 'mix' of them rather than a 'loop'. Hope someone remembers the music and enjoys it. Did not do much else yesterday since it was cold. I never even left the house and only went outside to pick up the dog droppings in the afternoon. Made a pork roast, corn and mashed potato with a salad for dinner. Tony got home last night around 6 PM. After drinking his cup of coffee and eating dinner he showered and then we had a little lovin. He never left the bed after that and slept the night away as I watched TV in the living room with the dogs. I keep telling him he needs to come home and nap with the rest of us daily so he is not so tired at night. I guess that is hard to do when you own a business and work. Makes for a lonely day when he leaves for work by 7:30 AM, gets home at 6 PM, and is sleeping again by 7:30 PM. Even though I went to bed to watch TV at 9 PM and turned it off by 10 PM I woke up tired today. I think it is because of the weather and boredom to be honest.

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM and got Tony off to work by 7:30 AM. Will spend the morning cleaning since I did not yesterday. The dust is piling up as well as the house needing a good vacuuming. Then I will shower, pick Tony up for lunch, and have lunch with the guys. It looks pretty cold this weekend so I am sure we will not do much but catch up on the stuff I DVR'd during the week on TV. I would like to go Christmas shopping at least one day this weekend. If I don't start making Tony look for anything for me, I will get nothing again this year for Christmas from him.

November 17, 2010 Wednesday Morning

Brandy got robbed on Dancing With The Stars last night.

Got Tony off to work and the dogs fed yesterday before I began my day. Spent the morning doing a little work around the house before showering and going to my 11 AM therapy at ARCW. Had a nice hour of therapy. I was a little afraid I was not connecting after my first visit with the therapist but yesterdays appointment made me feel a bit better. I felt better as I left his office. Stopped off at Walgreen's to get two prescriptions and a couple other items before walking across the street and buying a sub at Cousin's. Came home and spent the afternoon setting up my Christmas village. I put it in the outside sun room this year. It takes up too much room in the house. Made spaghetti, garlic bread and a salad for dinner. Tony was home shortly after 5 PM and after eating dinner we spent the night watching TV. Dancing With The Stars was a joke last night. I feel Brandy got robbed. Once again the Republicans voted for 'their' person rather than the 'best' person. Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough deserve to be in the top three. Bristol Palin does not deserve to be in the top three. Tony and I just sat there in shock as the results were given. Bristol Palin has been in the bottom almost every week and she makes the top three? It was not right and the top people did not make the top three as far as I am concerned. I LOVE Derek Hough and hope to make him my husband some day. LOL He looks so snuggable. Bristol Palin should do the right thing and bow out of the competition to let Brandy be in the top three where she belongs. Shame on the Palin Republicans who voted for the wrong person and not the right person. Shame Shame! My heart goes out to Brandy. I went to the DWTS message boards today and read a lot of the posts. So much is made of Brandy's face after finding out the results. What kind of face should she show? She got robbed by the Republicans. Enough said! Went to bed around 10 PM. Have I mentioned my rabbit is back? Yes, the last couple days I have looked out the back window and there he / she is. I had not seen the rabbit for weeks and was afraid a stray cat might have killed it. I feed the rabbit every day at dark so the squirrels don't eat all the bread and carrots I put out for the rabbit. I named him Roger Rabbit.

Got up this morning around 6:30 AM and right away got on the Internet to read more posts from DWTS. I still am in shock at the results. Just watched Brandy and Maks on Good Morning America. Would hate to get my blood pressure checked right now since I am still mad. It is cold and damp in Milwaukee this morning. I have to go grocery shopping this morning and plan on just spending the rest of the day napping or listening to music. Don't have much else planned and happy to stay home today in the warm house. I am so cold all the time and with winter coming I am not happy. I always wonder why I live in this state that gets so cold in the winter. Will watch the ABC comedy lineup tonight before going to bed. Tony informed me this morning that tonight he needs a little lovin. We all know what that really means. LOL. Will have to break down tonight and give him a 'release'. Only takes him about 10 minutes so I think I can find the time. LOL.

November 15, 2010 Monday Night

Got the dogs fed and Tony off to work this morning by 7:30 AM. Spent the morning listening to some old disco music while cleaning the house. Dusted, vacuumed and put some more Christmas decorations up around the house. Made myself some tomato soup for lunch and talked to my mom on the phone early this afternoon. Spent about an hour taking a nap with the dogs. Visited my usual web sights which includes queerty.com. Read a story about lesbian's being kicked out of an Oklahoma school. In the story the phone number of the Principal was given so I decided to call and leave my two cents. I left a message with my phone number. Basically left a message that if the story is true they should all be ashamed of themselves. About 10 minutes after leaving the message the Principal of the Oklahoma school returned my call. I was shocked. We had a very nice conversation and it does go to show there are two sides of every story. She was very concerned about the news story and has three children of her own. She assured me there was more to the story and that the school is very tolerant and the lesbians have graduated and every gay or lesbian student is welcome in their school. It was really a nice conversation and I felt very good after it. I was saddened to hear from the Principal that of the over 75 hateful, threatening messages, that I was the only message that left a return phone number. After our conversation I posted on Queerty.com my conversation and how wrong the gay community is to leave hateful messages without a return phone number to hear the other side. It is not fair. The Principal is so sorry this story got out of hand and wishes she had a way to reach the media again with her side. Once something like this is printed or reported we all know it takes on a life of it's own. I felt good, I got what I wanted to say out there, and got the response I would want to hear. I feel the Principal is a good person and mother. So, I guess the lesson is: If you leave a message about a differing opinion, be man enough to leave a return phone number so you can get a response and possibly a different perspective. Made a Turkey roast and mac and cheese for dinner with a salad. Tony was home by 5:30 PM tonight. Spending the night watching Dancing With The Stars and Castle before going to bed. I was suppose to have two appointments at ARCW tomorrow, one being a dentist cleaning and one being to talk to my therapist. I got a call this afternoon that the dental appointment had to be rescheduled because of a conflict. I must admit this happens almost every dental appointment at ARCW here in Milwaukee. Took Stella for a walk late this afternoon to enjoy the 50 degree weather here. It won't last forever.

November 14, 2010 Sunday Night

Saturday morning we both got up by 7 AM. After feeding the dogs, reading a bit of the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee, I made breakfast. Tony soon left to go to work for the morning, I went back to bed. Got back up out of bed around 12:30 PM, showered and Tony got home shortly after that from work. We spent the afternoon watching TV shows I DVR'd during the week. After feeding the dogs dinner we went out for dinner and then stopped off at the Casino here in Milwaukee. For some reason I felt luck. Well, thankfully I am so cheap and when we do got to the casino I put a very tight limit on both of us. We ended up walking around the casino for about an hour spending $25 each for a total of $50.00. We never won anything close to a big jackpot during the night. It is amazing to me how crowded the casino was and how much people just throw at them, or should I say give to them. I felt bad losing the $50.00. I think of what I could have bought with that. I can't imagine losing more than that for a night. Came home and watched Twilight New Moon before going to bed around 10:30 PM.

This morning we were both up by 7 AM and like most mornings after the dogs were fed we drank our coffee while reading the morning newspaper. I then made breakfast again like yesterday. After breakfast we got into a fight about something and Tony got in the shower while I brought up the Christmas decorations from the basement. I put a little around the house and hung a few strands of lights outside. Not one of the nearly twenty strands of lights from last year worked again this year. What is up with that? Had to use the strands that I still had from last year still in a box. Tony took a little nap while I went and bought lottery tickets for the week. When I got home he was cleaning the front rain gutter because I mentioned it had to be cleaned because it was full of leaves. I figured it was the one thing he could do around here this weekend because he has done little else. We spent the latter part of the afternoon watching Twilight Eclipse. Figured we might as well watch the third part while the second part is fresh in our minds from last night. Made a canned ham, potato's and mixed vegetables for dinner. We are now settling in for the night and will watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters before going to bed. Was in the 40s today in Milwaukee and later in the afternoon we had rain which looked like it would turn to snow in no time. Ended up being a little sleet, but no snow yet. Monday I don't have a lot on my plate except cleaning because not much of that happens on the weekends. I think the antibiotic is doing what it should because the pain is almost gone at times. Guess the doctor was right.

November 12, 2010 Friday Morning

Woke up yesterday and after feeding the dogs and getting Tony off to work I went grocery shopping and then to ARCW to pick up my monthly food. I did get a call from the nurse yesterday after I returned home telling me she spoke with the doctor regarding my concerns about the antibiotic and that the doctor still thinks it is the best course of action and to try it for a week before giving up. I accepted that. The doctor thinks I was not on the antibiotic long enough the last time for it to work the way it was suppose to work. I then asked for the results from my blood and urine test on Monday and she told me she did have the results but the doctor, not her, would have to give them to me. I told her she was scaring me with that statement and that I can take any news good or bad. I was most interested in my PSA levels because my dad has prostate cancer. She said she would have the doctor call me as soon as possible with the results. The next ten minutes were very long. The nurse called me back and said she talked with the doctor and he said it was alright to tell me the tests came back OK, within the regular limits, and that I did not have to worry. I was happy to hear this news. So I guess I will have to give this antibiotic a chance to work before going any further. I am a little mad that I had to have a CT scan for all this when if the doctor / specialist would have seen me first, I would not have this expense coming my way. I am sure it will not be cheap and since I have a $1500 health insurance deductible I am sure it will cost that much or more. Where the money will come from is a good question. Spent the afternoon taking a nap with the dogs while I listened to music. Tony got home around 5:00 PM. He has been home early lately because his business is very slow. We need a good snow storm and some accidents unfortunately to get his business back on track. That or he needs to sell some of the cars he has for sale. Not much money has been coming in on his end of things lately which scares me. I can not pay all the monthly bills on what I get from social security each month. Made boneless ribs, mashed potato and corn with the salad for dinner. We spent the night watching TV and went to bed around 10:30 PM. Had a hard time getting Stella into the house because there must be some animal under our side porch and she is bound and determined to get it. I looked with a flash light before going to bed and could not see anything. Stella had this on her mind all night and wanted to go out several times during the night. This led to a very bad night of sleeping last night.

Got up this morning at 5:30 AM because Stella once again wanted to go outside and sniff under the porch. I still can not see what she is trying to get at. Tony left for work shortly after 7 AM and I went back to bed for about an hour. Got up and showered and now I am ready to go pick Tony up in a little while to have lunch with the guys. I am happy it is Friday. Not only because of our weekly lunch, but because that means Tony will be home for the weekend and I will not be alone all day like I am during the week. It is suppose to be a rainy cold weekend here in Milwaukee and we have no plans, so I am sure we will spend the weekend watching movies or TV and just having a very relaxing weekend. I suggested last night that we have a snuggle party with the dogs tonight. I call it a snuggle party when I put pillows and blankets on the floor around the front of the couch and we all lay on the floor with the dogs at our sides and feet. I think that is the way I would want to die when that time comes. It is getting cold outside and rained this morning. It is cloudy which makes my mind not want to start. I know it is the Atripla which makes cloudy days harder to get through then a sunny day. Thankfully since we have no plans this weekend there will be no reason to get my mind going accept to make it through the day taking care of the dogs and Tony. I still laugh when I do a spell check before posting, I am so bad at spelling. You would all laugh at my spelling if there was no spell check.

November 11, 2010 Thursday Morning

Yesterday was a long day of tests. It started at 8 AM with drinking two bottles of barium before my 9:30 AM CT scan. I have had this test done about 10 years ago and I must say the barium you have to drink is much better and has a berry flavor. It was drinkable. In between drinking the two bottles I went upstairs to my doctor's office and asked the nurse if she can do anything to get me in to see a specialist before next week. I was in a lot of pain the night before and there was no way I could wait another week. I was scheduled an emergency appointment at 10:30 AM after my CT scan. The CT scan went well. The worst part was the injection of iodine which makes you feel warm and a feeling like you are peeing in your pants. It is a weird feeling and not one that is pleasant. The specialist / surgeon examined me and looked at the results from the CT scan and said he thinks I have a prostate infection, not a hernia. The CT scan did not show a hernia. I was happy to hear this news until I filled the prescription for the antibiotic only to notice it is the same antibiotic I had been taking during this month of pain. I then called the doctor's office and talked with the nurse letting her know that I had already been on this antibiotic with no positive results. She is talking to the doctor today and will get back to me. So it was a roller coaster ride of feeling good about the news, then learning he might be wrong. I spent the afternoon taking a nap with the dogs since I was so tired from all the procedures and doctors all morning. Made leftover's for dinner and went to bed early last night. The pain was not as bad as the night before. The night before I was seriously thinking about going to emergency I was in so much pain. So now I wait again for the doctor to call me back. I am sure he will tell me to continue with the antibiotic and see him in two weeks for a follow up appointment. I just hope I am not wasting two more weeks, with pain, to need more tests. Time will tell. I now am bleeding from my butt so I am not happy.

This morning I was up by 5:30 AM feeling a bit better but still in some pain. I have to get a lot done today since I have not done much this week. I have to go grocery shopping and to the bank this morning. Have to vacuum and dust the house. And have to go get my monthly food from ARCW. I hope to get most of this done this morning so I can again take a nap this afternoon since I have not been sleeping well from the pain. It is uncomfortable to lay down and sleep in any position. I also don't want to over do it today and be back in the pain I was two days earlier. The only good thing that has happened in the last days is that our tenants upstairs moved in a friend for a week or so because he broke up with his girl friend. He is very handsome and nice to look at. Hey, I have to look at something as good news at this point. It is again going to be in the 60s here in Milwaukee. We are in a warm front, but the weather is changing after today and this weekend looks in the 40s and rainy. We usually get snow around Thanksgiving so it is just a matter of time. Got to get showered and get on with the day. Will try to post an update after the doctor calls me today.

November 9, 2010 Tuesday Night

Did a lot of research on the Internet last night and my money is on a groin hernia. Everything I read and the pictures I look at seem to tell me that is what I have going on. Spent the night watching Dancing With The Stars and Castle before going to bed.

Got up this morning around 6:30 AM. After feeding the dogs and getting Tony off to work I spent the morning listening to music and reading the book Nine Days In Heaven that my mom gave me. Actually finished the book today. Made Tomato soup for lunch and then took a long nap all afternoon with the dogs. Made spaghetti for dinner and now I am ready to settle in for the night. I did get a call from the nurse today, no test results yet, but I have a CT scan tomorrow at 8 AM. The worst part will be the drinking of two bottle of barium. Had this test many many years ago for bowel problems and the drinking of the nasty tasting stuff is the worst. Remember well after the scan having to run to the bathroom and 'discharge' it all. At least this test will be over by tomorrow night and my doctor's next week will have all the test results to tell me what is going on and what is next. Going to the couch. The pain is a four and getting worse. Glad I finally broke down and having this looked at and didn't wait any longer. Thank you Megan for the comment on your dad, it is appreciated.

November 8, 2010 Monday Night

Today was not a good day.

The weekend went by very fast. We did very little over the weekend but watch a lot of TV and go out for lunch and dinner once each day. We did have breakfast with Tony's mom on Sunday morning and went to Big Lot to do some shopping after breakfast. Came home and took a nap and spent the night watching TV.

This morning I had an appointment at ARCW with my new therapist. He seems OK and I see him again next week. After that appointment I came home for a short time before going to my regular doctor to find out why I have this pain above my groin area which radiates below my testicles. After being at her office for over an hour I was sent downstairs to get a PSA blood test to check for cancer and a urine test to test for, have no idea. I then finally got home and made an appointment as directed with a surgeon and a urologist. I see one next week Wednesday and the other next week Friday. The pain is up to a level 3 out of 10 so I have to do all this crap. It is not going away on it's own. My doctor is calling me tomorrow with the blood and urine tests as well as scheduling me for an MRI to see what can be seen in that area, and letting me know what date the MRI is scheduled for. Since my dad has prostate cancer it is possible it could be that. My doctor thinks it is most likely a hernia of the groin. Either way my head is just swimming right now from all this news and the possibilities that could come to pass in the future. I do not like pain, procedures, doctors, hours wasted waiting, much less the thought of surgery or a cancer treatment of some kind. I of course was hoping for a pill to correct the problem fast. Doesn't look like that is going to be the way to fix this problem. I honestly just feel like crying. Will have to do a little research on the Internet to see what the hernia will all entail if it comes to that. If it is cancer I am sure a doctor will give me my options. I am so tired of being sick and having health problems. Wasn't dealing with HIV enough? I know others go through worse things, but this is me. It is happening to me. I am going to log off and relax on the couch for the night. I feel like just going to bed and crying. If anyone reading this has had a hernia surgery or knows someone that went through it I would love some input.

November 5, 2010 Friday Morning

Wednesday night we saw the play Young Frankenstein at the Milwaukee PAC. It was entertaining. Got home and watched a little TV before going to bed around 11 PM.

Yesterday I spent most of the day laying around the house listening to music. I am not sure if it is the weather or what but I have no ambition lately to do anything. I am so tired all the time. I am making a doctor appointment today to find out what this pain is in my bladder area which goes down to bellow my testicles. It comes and goes, but at times is very uncomfortable. I have been holding off making a doctor appointment hoping it would go away, and because of fear it might be something worse. Either way, I have to have it checked out by a specialist. Tony came home from work early yesterday around 4 PM and after making hamburgers and mac and cheese for dinner we spent the night watching TV before going to bed around 10 PM.

Today I got up around 6:30 AM and after feeding the dogs and getting Tony off to work I printed out letters to our tenants. One of two is leaving to move to Texas at the end of the month, the other is staying and taking over the lease. The letters reflected these changes. I have to pick up a prescription at the vet for Barkley and then lunch with the guys like every Friday. Today's lunch should be interesting because a new guy is joining us for our group lunch. I spoke with him on the phone yesterday. He is new to Milwaukee and looking forward to meeting new people that are also HIV+. It is in the 30s this morning here in Milwaukee. Only going to get to a high in the 40s today which is another reminder that winter is just around the corner. Will most likely spend the afternoon cleaning the house for the weekend and taking a short nap. Tonight we will most likely watch the movie Run Wild Run Free that I ordered over the Internet on DVD. I saw the movie as a child and enjoyed it. Hope I enjoy it as much now. Not much more to report since I really have not had a lot of energy lately and have spent a lot of time sleeping. Will write more as time permits.

November 3, 2010 My Election Review

As I went to bed last night it was becoming very clear that the Democrats were not going to do well in this election. I did not sleep well last night knowing this. Tony got up early this morning and I could hear the TV in the back ground and what I was hearing was not good. First off, this is my view, it's my blog, so I am allowed to say what I think and feel. Since I am gay, I am a Democrat. My sister in law asked me what the Democrats have done for me lately. Unfortunately I have to somewhat agree. My only response is that at least the Democrats believe we deserve fairness and equality. The Republicans want us back in the closet and don't believe there are hate crimes and injustice when it comes to gays. The Democrats would live with us, the Republicans would be happy for us to leave the country and stay silent. In Wisconsin Scott Walker, the Republican, wants to abolish the Domestic Partner Registry. Why? How is it hurting anyone? Ron Johnson said he would not hire a gay person. What? And I live in this state? Obama has had less than two years to fix the mess Bush did to this country. How much can he do when the Republicans block any and all ideas simply because they are Democrat ideas? The Republicans did not want the Hate Crimes Law to go into effect and fought it until the end. The Republicans do not want to repeal DADT because it would cause problems in the military. Problems? How is someone living their life like there fellow soldiers causing problems? Trust me, I am sure many gays in the military do not care what you look like in the shower and would not come on to you while showering. Aren't they all there to fight for our country straight or gay? Much less why is it OK for a straight soldier to talk about his relationship with his fellow soldiers but a gay person must keep it to himself? Does that really seem fair? So, you can go see your family and come back and tell your fellow soldiers about your weekend, but a gay soldier can't? As for health care, it is simply getting unaffordable to the middle class such as Tony and myself. Why is it wrong to make everyone pay for it rather than just the people who can afford it. Why is it wrong to stop the health care companies from excluding people with pre-existing conditions? Have you been to a Hospital Emergency room lately? Most there don't even have health insurance which is costing those who do more because we are picking up their tab. Don't even get me started on the tax cuts for the 1% that can afford to pay more. The upper class is not struggling in this economy, the middle and lower class are struggling. If the upper class thinks they have to down size their million dollar home or vacations, you wont see a tear from me. I haven't had a vacation in 10 years and my home is comfortable. It is not so big so I can brag to my friends how I live. On the economy. I did not agree with bailing out Wallstreet or the Mortgage and Auto makers. But honestly, if President Obama would have done 'nothing' you would have heard the Republicans bashing him about that also. The deficit is because Bush got us into 2 wars we can not afford to pay for. I could go on and on. My suggestions: Tweek the Health Care Reform, don't just scrap it. Stop bailing out businesses that fail. Stop the big wigs in Washington from giving themselves raises every year, salaries the rest of their lives, health care that is better than the public has, as well as pensions we can not afford. Make the big wigs join any Health Care Reform that is passed, if it is good enough for you and I, it should be good enough for them? Start making laws and decisions that are fair and just, not just politically for their party. As for Sarah Palin, I think she is a joke. I wish she would just go away. I pray one day one of her kids tells her they are gay. When I hear her voice I get sick to my stomach. The USA is so divided right now I see no change coming. This past election was filled with negative ads. The amount of ads actually saying what the candidates stood for paled in comparison to the negativity towards there opponent. The outside money the Republicans got to overthrow the Democrats is shameful. I propose this also: I want each state to have their representatives sign a pledge for the next election that they will not use negative ads in future elections. We the people must decide then not to vote for anyone who uses negative ads whether they are Democrat or Republican. Also, what a waist of money those ads are. If we were to add up all the money spent on negative ads we could help the poor, feed the hungry, and help the people who need it most, the middle and lower class. I guess we will all have to live with the results of this election. Now lets see if things get better or worse. I am open minded and welcome your comments, in fact I look forward to them. Enough said!

November 2, 2010 Tuesday Late Afternoon

Did you vote today?

Got up around 6:30 AM this morning and got the dogs fed and Tony off to work. After reading a little of the morning newspaper I went back to bed for about an hour. Got up around 10 AM and got showered so Tony could come and pick me up and we could go vote. Voted down the street at the place we always vote at. After we voted we went to George Webb's for lunch and then checked out the half price candy from Halloween at the Walgreen's across the street. Bought a couple items. Tony then dropped me off at home. I spent the afternoon watching TV and just laying around the house. Feeling very tired today. Should have taken a nap because it will be hard to stay up tonight due to not taking one. Looking forward to watching Oprah at 4 PM today because Ricky Martin is on her show. I am going to order pasta for dinner from Pizza Hut in a little while. I don't feel like cooking tonight. I will make us a salad to go with the pasta. Will spend the night watching the Dancing With The Stars Results show and then just watch stuff we DVR'd since election coverage will be on the rest of the night. I have a feeling most election results will be too close to call until tomorrow so won't waste my time until then looking at the results. Not going to be good her in Wisconsin anyway. The only good thing about this election is the fact it is almost over. I am so tired of the negative TV adds I could puck. The Republicans have twisted all the facts and have no solutions as for as I am concerned. I think they all deserve to be thrown out of office, Democrats and Republicans.

November 1, 2010 Monday Night

Woke up at 2 AM Sunday morning with a terrible stomach ache and the runs. Did not sleep well after that. Tony was up early Sunday morning with the same thing. We both had such pain all Sunday morning and spent so much time on the toilet we did not go out for breakfast with his mother. It must have been the chili I made Saturday night for dinner. Can not think of any other reason for it. I made two cans of Southwest Chili for dinner that night. It was very spicy but I think there must have been more going on here because we both had the same problem and it lasted until noon on Sunday. Spent the morning just trying to get through the day. We then took a nap for a couple hours before getting up, showering, and then going to a bar called Horny Goat for a Brew City Bully Club fundraiser. We ate at the bar and I had one drink. Got home around 5:30 PM and fed the dogs before spending the night watching Desperate Housewives and Brothers And Sisters before going to bed. Still had some stomach problems at the end of the day.

This morning I got up by 6 AM because Tony was already out of bed and reading the morning newspaper. After I fed the dogs and got him off to work I went back to bed for an hour. After getting back up I went outside in the cold and started working on the pond. Disconnected two of the pond pumps. Got one running in the middle of the pond that I can keep on most of the winter, and got the floating heater in place ready to turn on when the ice starts to form. I have stopped feeding the fish to let them know it is time to start hibernation. I then put up the two glass panels we bought on Saturday to replace the two that shattered in the wind storm last week on the side awning. After I had that all done I got showered and drove to Sears to return the garage door opener we bought on Saturday. Sears wanted to charge me a 15% restocking charge because I had to destroy the packaging it was in to get to the remote. I asked for a manager and told him he could shove the restocking fee up his ass until they come out with packaging where you can open something without a scissors. You know what I mean? These days most thinks come sealed in the hard plastic and you have to cut it open to get what you buy out. They waived the fee. I then went to Burger King for a kids hamburger meal before stopping at Walgreen's to check out the half price Halloween candy. Bought a couple popcorn balls and some peanut butter ghosts. Came home and took Stella for a walk around the block before I took a little nap with the dogs for about an hour and a half. Taking Stella for a walk daily seems to be the best thing for her knee. Was tired from all the work and driving to Sears, hence the nap. After I got up I walked across the alley to have coffee and gossip with the neighbor for a bit before returning home. Waited until 5:15 PM to feed the dogs. I have to start feeding them later and later as the week goes on because when we turn the clocks back next Saturday they will be looking at me at 4 PM to get fed. So I start adjusting the time as the week goes on so it is not such a shock for them. The sun just went down and boy does it get cold and damp outside. It was close to 50 degrees today and sunny. But when the sun goes down the temperature heads south to the 30s. Will spend the night watching Dancing With The Stars and Castle before going to bed. Tomorrow is election day. Get out and vote. It is not going to be a pretty election here in Wisconsin. I think the Republicans will be taking over and that scares the hell out of me.

October 30, 2010 Saturday Night

Friday morning after getting Tony off to work and feeding the dogs I went back to bed for a while. Was tired and just not ready to start the day. Got up around 10:30 AM, or should I say got out of bed at that time since the dogs were not happy to go back to sleep after just waking up in the morning. Bo is such a pain in the ass sometimes being a puppy. He will be a year old this December 22nd. Got up and showered and then went to lunch with Tony to meet the guys for our regular Friday lunch at Baker's Square. Had a great lunch as usual. I know I say that every Friday about lunch, but it really is a great hour of the week. We talk, share, and mostly laugh. Came home and spent the afternoon doing a little cleaning and listened to music. Tony came home from work around 6 PM and I made a salad and TV dinners for dinner. Never hungry on a Friday night from having a big lunch. Got an email from someone I posted a response to on Body.com. It is always so nice to hear from others how they do enjoy my blog. It makes it all worth while. Spent the night watching TV that we DVR'd during the week. Went to bed around 10:30 PM.

This morning we got up around 7 AM and after feeding the dogs and reading a little of the Milwaukee Journal morning paper I made us some Breakfast Bowls for breakfast. After breakfast we started cleaning out the rain gutters and leaves around the yard because it is about 50 degrees today and doesn't look like it will be much warmer until Spring. Got to get it done now before the snow starts falling. Tony left for work around 10:30 AM to pick up an employee and bring him back home to help remove an old refrigerator that is in the back storage garage where Tony stores his Cadillac for the winter so the car he drives daily can be put in the regular garage. Not going to be driving the Cadillac until next fall. Plus, I hate it being in the garage that I also park in because if I was to accidentally dent it or ding it I would never hear the last of it. I know from experience. While he was gone I called his brother's wife to say we are here for her and Tony's brother who just found out he has stage 4 cancer. I wanted her to know that if she needs anything we are here for her and him. After Tony got home again from the shop I was showered so we got in the car to do some other things I wanted to get done. Went to Sears to buy another garage door opener that I can keep in the bedroom. Call me crazy but I want to have a garage door opener, extra set of keeps for the cars and such in the bedroom. The crazy part is because I always think that if there is a fire we will have to get out through the bedroom windows and where do we put the 5 dogs as the house burns down. The garage is detached from the house. I guess it is just another one of my fears. Maybe someday, not that I am hoping for it, I will prove myself correct in preparing and we will all be safe if a fire should happen. We then went to the jewelry store to have my wedding ring made a size larger. It is really tight on my finger and makes me feel claustrophobic. Crazy again I know. Plus I get a rash under it so I take it off at night. So I need it easier to put on and off or I just don't wear it lately. Ate lunch in the mall and bought some sweat shirts at Boston Store before getting the ring back at the jewelry store. Much better fit now. After we left the mall we went to the Sprint store because Tony needed a new cell phone. Got one that was only $10 after rebate. Neither of us need anything more than a basic phone. Heck, we both can not text and can't read one with our bad eyes even if we got one. We have the computers at home and office so we do not need a phone that connects to the Internet. So all either of us needs is a basic phone with a camera. After the Sprint store we stopped off at Home Depot to pick up two new glass panels to replace the one's that broke and smashed in the wind storm this last week. I will install them next week during the week. Got home and of course we could not get the new garage door remote to work so it will have to be returned next week at Sears. Tony then moved the Cadillac into the back storage garage while I did things around the house. By this time it was around 4 PM and we watched the end of the movie The Hills Have Eyes. It is a horror movie. Fed the dogs and made a couple cans of chili and salads for dinner. Will spend the rest of the night watching more TV I DVR'd during the week before going to bed. Will most likely go to breakfast with Tony's mom tomorrow since we have not in a few weeks and I try to make sure we see her by this time. Later in the day we have a party to go to at a bar. It is another fund raiser for the Milwaukee Bully Breed Club to protect Pitbulls from fighting or being fought with. It is also to bring awareness to the fact that not all Pitbulls are bad dogs. We will most likely go around dinner time and have a couple drinks before coming home and settling in for the night Sunday night. I can't believe it is going to be November in two days. Time goes so fast it is scary.

October 28, 2010 Thursday Dinner Time

Yesterday afternoon the wind was so bad here in Milwaukee it caused damage around the house and yard. I lost three glass panels on the overhang off the side deck, one of two rainbow flags and poles blew down from the house, and the canopy over the back car came off the ground smashing into Tony's car parked under it so we took the cover off. Tony got snapped in the eye as we were removing the cover of the canopy and hurt his eye. I did not show much sympathy since I don't get much from him. The upstairs deck furniture is everywhere, and the lattice around the rails all came loose and banged around all night long. Of course with our bedroom right below the deck the dogs barked all night long at every noise. Went to bed before 10 PM because even SVU Los Angeles was a rerun. Jeez, the original episode was just 2 weeks ago and they are already showing it as a rerun?

This morning as Tony walked out the door I told him I would be going grocery shopping this morning before my board meeting this afternoon. I also informed him I am going to make an appointment to go back into counseling. He told me 'it is a good idea' because I don't seem very happy lately. I told him 'I am not happy because all I do is take care of the house, the dogs, him and no one every takes care of me'. I went on to say 'when you sent your employee to get you chili yesterday for lunch did you think maybe I might want some'? I went on to say I am so tired of everyone taking care of him and no one taking care of me. He said 'then I guess you need more counseling'. I then told him 'the reason I need counseling is to help me be with him and that if I don't get some help soon I am ready to end this relationship'. He walked out of the house. I went grocery shopping after feeding the dogs and showering. When I got home I checked my receipt and noticed all the items I bought on sale did not reflect the sale price and that my card must not have scanned properly. So I went back to the grocery store and got $17 in saving I should have gotten when shopping. Seventeen dollars is $17 dollars in my book so it was worth going back to the grocery store. I then went to my meeting which was very good and made me feel appreciated. I go back for counseling on November 8th to hopefully give me some sanity. When I returned home there was a small vase of flowers and some cup cakes on the stove. He wrote, 'just thinking of you'. How nice, finally. I called and thanked him of course. Listened and made some edits to my newest dance mix. I will post it tonight or tomorrow. Tonight we will just stay in and watch TV since it is in the 40s today in Milwaukee. Getting cold and that means winter is almost here. Yuck!

October 27, 2010 Wednesday Afternoon

What a wild windy couple of days here in Milwaukee.

Shortly after I posted yesterday a tornado swept through Racine which is just south of Milwaukee. It is so windy here in Milwaukee I am fearful my small dogs might be blown away when they go outside. Wind gusts have been over 60 miles and hour at times. The canopy over the driveway is still standing because I did a little more securing of it. I keep looking out the window every once in a while to make sure it is still standing. Spent yesterday just doing little things around the house. I still have a very bad sore throat, and my bladder still hurts. I promise if this is not better by next week to call my doctor. I think the sore throat is from allergies, the strong winds stirring up the pollen, and the fact we need a good freeze to help out. I made another music mix yesterday afternoon. Might be my last since I read today the courts have shut down Limewire where I download my music and movies. Tried to get on Limewire this morning and a message comes up saying the sight is not running and no time frame if it will ever go online again. I will spend this afternoon listening to the mix and making changes before I post it. This makes me so sad since downloading, listening and making mixes from music is one of my favorite hobbies. Made boneless ribs, mashed potato and corn for dinner with a salad. Spent the night watching No Ordinary Family, Dancing Results show, and The Good Wife as we listened to the wind howl outside. Went to bed around 10 PM. We were awaken many times during the night as you could hear things blowing around the upstairs deck above the bedroom and outside in the yard. Of course the dogs bark at every noise. A friend dropped off his dog around dinner time for us to dog sit until Thursday because he has jury duty and is afraid he might not be allowed to go home. He would rather be safe than sorry. I need a sixth dog around the house like a hole in the head. It just adds to the stress around the house because the dog is so old and has obvious mind problems.

This morning I got Tony off to work after feeding the dogs. Made myself a breakfast bowl that is sold in the grocery stores that contains eggs, potato and bacon. Have pretty much just spent the morning watching TV. I have no ambition today, it is so cold outside, and the wind is blowing again so strong. In fact about an hour ago I heard a huge crashing noise and when I ran to the side of the house I could see the wind had blown half the covering over the deck off and in pieces. The canopy is not looking good and has to make it through one more day. Think I will spend the afternoon listening to music and snuggling with the dogs. It is really cold and windy and I have no intentions on going outside unless I have to. Looking forward to the ABC comedy lineup tonight on TV. I do have a board meeting tomorrow and have decided to make an appointment to go back into counseling. I have a lot of issues I need to talk about. I made a list the other day. Basically I am feeling very scared about the future, feeling like I am not as nice a person as I should be, and having a hard time feeling any energy or hope for the future. I worry way to much about health insurance, paying the bills, having HIV, getting my HIV meds in the future, feeling worthless, feeling combative, and just not happy overall. My thought is I need more therapy and since it is free at ARCW and helped me after my initial diagnosis I want to get back into it before I hit rock bottom. I am scared to leave the house, feel I have no future, and it is affecting my relationship with Tony. The relationship has not been good lately at all. Something has to change. Any stress is too much for me lately. I wish I could talk to Tony about these things but he is so wrapped up in his own world he just doesn't understand. Hopefully going back into counseling or therapy will help.

October 26, 2010 Tuesday Morning

Should be an interesting next 36 hours here in Milwaukee.

Saturday afternoon we went to a Pitbull fundraiser here in Milwaukee. We are members of the Milwaukee Bully Breed which supports ending dog fighting. We spent about 2 hours at the event watching the dogs do tricks and buying things from the vendors that were at the event. Came home and took a little nap before we headed out for the night to see the play Cabaret. It was very good. Got home after 11 PM and went to bed around midnight after watching a little of SNL. Am I the only one who things this season of Saturday Night Live sucks?

Sunday morning after getting the dogs fed and reading the morning newspaper we went out for breakfast here on the East side. Had a good breakfast. Spent the afternoon watching TV, all the shows I DVR'd during the week. Sunday night we watched Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters before going to bed.

Monday after feeding the dogs and getting Tony off to work I showered and then went to Walgreen's to pick up two prescriptions and a few items on sale before heading home. When I got home Stella was limping, walking on only 3 legs. Don't know what she did while I was gone but the knee she had surgery on about 6 months ago was not tracking properly and she was in pain. Gave her a doggie pain pill and spent the entire day laying next to her to keep her calm and not moving. Called Tony about 4 PM and asked him to come home early since I had a meeting to go to and I wanted him home prior to leaving for that meeting to keep an eye on Stella and keep her down and not trying to walk. Gave him stick instructions. Of course when I got home from my meeting Tony was standing in the kitchen eating some snacks and the dogs were all jumping around him. Guess he can't follow instruction for even two hours. So sad how he is so into his own happiness and can't give to anyone else or give up anything for anyone else, much less a dog. After a little yelling at him I spent the night watching TV on the couch with Stella. We went to bed around 9 PM to watch TV in bed with Stella. She was walking on the leg now a little. Before I went to my meeting my tenant told me he got a job in Texas and he would be moving out by December first. Told him to put it in writing before November 1st and to let his roommate know we expect the same from him as to whether he is staying, getting another roommate or moving also. This is not good. Finding a new tenant for December or January 1st is not going to be easy and I need the income. Had a very hard time trying to get to sleep and finally listened to some music on my IPod until about 1 AM before getting a little sleep for the night. My bladder and throat still are not good and I will make a doctor appointment by the end of the week if neither gets better.

This morning it is like being in a hurricane here in Milwaukee. It is raining and very very windy. We are expected to get the worse wind storm on record here in Milwaukee which is said to last through Wednesday night. I did tighten down some things outside yesterday in preparation of this storm. Hopefully the car canopy will not blow away. If it gets any worse I will have to take the top of the canopy off. Winds are suppose to be at 50 to 60 miles an hour through Wednesday night and we are bracing for power outages and tree damage. Tony just left for work so I am on my own for the day. Will stay in today since I don't have a reason to leave the house and it is best to not go out in this storm. The wind is already very strong and expected to get worse as the day goes on. Not very happy right now in my relationship with Tony. He is so self centered he never even asked me how my meeting was last night when I got home. Seems all he cares about is himself. Not sure how long I can put up with this with him. Something has to change. Going to log off so if the power goes out my computer is safe. Schools are even closing because of the high winds and damage being reported. Should be an interesting next 36 hours. It is 65 degrees right now and expected to drop like a rock to 45 degrees by tomorrow. We are now under a tornado warning, the news report just broke in and said.

October 22, 2010 Friday Night

Got up this morning around 6:30 AM and got my morning going with the usual routine of feeding the dogs and getting Tony off to work. Read a little of the Milwaukee Journal before taking a shower so I could get Barkley to the vet for his 9 AM appointment. Took him there and $92 later I was told what I already knew, he staph infection is back that he gets twice a year usually in the fall and spring. It is allergy related and even though we bath him regularly and have him on special food he still gets it twice a year. I found out after I adopted him two years ago at the age of 8 that that is the reason his owner's gave him up, because they got sick of him having skin infections and the vet bills. Oh well, no turning back now. Once you adopt a dog or any animal it is one's job to keep them until the end, as far as I am concerned. That or you don't adopt an animal. Period! Got home from the vet and spent the rest of the morning doing a little cleaning around the house before going to our regular Friday lunch for support with the usual guys. Had a great lunch. I think though I might have a bladder infection starting. It hurts, or should I say, is uncomfortable in that area. I have had them in the past and it feels the same. I started an antibiotic of Ciprofloxacin 500mg which I have here at home, since I just hate going to the doctor and really can not afford it. I will take the antibiotic for the weekend and if the pain does not improve or get worse I will make a doctor appointment on Monday. I did a little research on the Internet about bladder infections and the antibiotic I started today is listed. Like I said though, if it doesn't get better by Monday I will see a doctor to make sure. Why does this stuff always happen on a weekend? I would say the discomfort is a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being most painful. Got home from lunch and took a two hour nap with the dogs. Jumped out of bed having another vivid dream. They are happening more frequently it seems. I will have to discuss this with my AIDS doctor in January which is the next time I see him. I really hate the thought of switching meds and the dreams are not so bad that I would, but it is something I have to consider in the future if this continues. I wake up every morning in a very vivid weird type dream, sometime screaming. The other morning Tony woke me up at 5 AM shouting something in my sleep. Made some salads for dinner and if Tony is hungry for more I will make a frozen pizza for dinner with the salad. You might have noticed the Top AIDS Blog Award at the top of my blog. I received it today from the organization called Medical Coding And Billing and BloggingAwards.com . I was picked as one of the top 20 AIDS informative blogs or web sights. How cool, hey? If anyone had anything to do with nominating me, Thank You. It really does mean a lot since it feels good to know all the time I put into this blog is read and appreciated by someone, much less anyone. Will spend the night watching the Senate debates which I usually would not watch since I already know who I am voting for. I will watch them just to hear what the Republican candidate has to say because the race is not looking good for Democrats in Wisconsin this year. Scares the hell out of me if the Republicans get in office. I am sure I will loose ADAP support and funding if they get in office. I could never afford my $700 health insurance or my monthly Atripla without it. What does a person do? Die of AIDS? Like I said, it scares the hell out of me. After the debates we will most likely watch shows we DVR'd during the week or past weeks. Tomorrow we will go to a fund raiser for The Milwaukee Bully Breed Club which is trying to stop dog fighting here in Wisconsin. It also is to inform people about Pit Bulls, the breed, not the myths. Tomorrow night I have tickets to go see the play Cabaret I got for free a month or so ago for being a part of a focus group. I think it will be good, I do love most musicals. It is suppose to rain this weekend in Milwaukee. We do need the rain.

October 21, 2010 Thursday Afternoon

Kali continued to throw up a couple more times until about 7:30 PM. I think because I put a tshirt on her she got over heated. She slept in my arms most of the night. Tony and I fought like cats and dogs all night. He is sometimes such an asshole. Even when I would ask him to watch the dogs as I went into the other room I would come back and Kali and Bo would be licking and he just sat there watching TV. I told him it is one thing to do EVERYTHING around here, but when you have a partner it is not too much to expect some help. I then told him if he wasn't going to help with the house and dogs from this point forward, and I have to do it all myself, there is no need for him to be around and he should pack his bags and move out. I was so mad at him by the time we went to bed. At one point I was petting Bo and noticed his back, towards his tail, has scabs everywhere. He obviously has the same allergy staph infection Barkley gets. Jeez, can I not get a break.

This morning I waited until he was ready to walk out the door at 7:30 AM and got up then. I then fed the dogs and took a shower. I then drove to Walmart to return a few of the outfits I bought for Bo the day before, then drove to the vet and picked up an antibiotic for Bo for his staph infection, and then drove to ARCW downtown and picked up my monthly food since the CAB board meeting today was postponed until next week. When I got home with my food from ARCW I was so mad to see most of the food was expired. EXPIRED! Some of the food had dates of February 2009. WTF? I called the food pantry to complain and then called the head of ARCW and let him know I was throwing my food away and that this was unacceptable. A person with HIV should not be eating expired food. I threw away almost every item of food I got from them today because it was expired. Since I got no food I then went to the grocery store and picked up a few items. It is sunny but in the 50s today in Milwaukee. At least if your in the sun it feels good. Going to take a short nap after this posting and when I get up start making dinner. I called Tony to let him know that he better do something / anything for me today or this will be the last dinner or anything I do for him, period! I am so tired of taking care of him and the household and getting no appreciation or anything nice done for me in return. He is so selfish and self centered and I am at the end of my rope. If I have to do it all myself I might as well have him 'hit the road'. Will spend the night watching TV tonight, most likely Big Bang Theory, Shit My Dad Says, Grey's Anatomy, and The Mentalist. I will DVR CSI and Outsourced. That's it for now, as you can tell I am not in a good mood and ready to end my relationship with Tony soon if things do not change fast.

October 20, 2010 Wednesday Dinner Time

After I posted yesterday I made a phone call to the PO Officer in charge of the convict that owes us money on our judgement since Tony keeps telling me he calls her, gets her message machine, has left at least 10 messages (or at least that is what I was being told), and she is not returning his calls. Well, she answered when I called and when I told her who I was and why I was calling she turned into a royal bitch and told me she has only gotten one call from Tony in the last few weeks. When I called Tony to tell him this he admitted he had been lieing to me about making calls to her to get me off his back. I was very mad and it was not a pleasant conversation from that point forward. I did end up going to the pet store and buying Bo an inflatable cone for around his neck so he doesn't lick. Got home and put it on him. He did not like it at first but by the end of the day he was getting used to it. Unfortunately he is a long dog and could still turn around enough to lick so it was not doing what it needed to do, except bother him. Spent the afternoon listening to music while I took a short nap. Made left overs for dinner from the pot roast the night before. Watched No Ordinary Family, Dancing With The Stars Results and The Good Wife before going to bed.

This morning I was at Walmart by 8 AM to buy some baby outfits for Bo to cover up his private areas so he could not lick them. Picked up about 4 outfits in different sizes, the kind babies wear that have snaps by the butt. Got home and put the one that fit best on Bo. I then drove back to the pet store to return the $25 cone I bought him since the $5 outfit was doing better than the cone from keeping him from licking. After I got home I figured I might as well get my last task done and went to Walgreen's to pick up a prescription. Came home and got a call from Tony telling me his older brother just told him he found out today he has stage 4 cancer in his throat and tongue. Not good news. Will find out more tonight. Spent and hour at the neighbors house talking with her about all the crap going on in my life. Came home and put a little grout on the new tile Tony put up on Sunday in the bathroom. I put a pork roast in the oven about 3:30 this afternoon. About 4 PM Kali started throwing up all over the house. She has thrown up about 5 times now and didn't keep down her dinner. I was hoping some food would settle her stomach, I was wrong because she has thrown up twice since eating. Going to spend the night next to her. Will let you know more tomorrow. Gotta run.

October 19, 2010 Tuesday Morning

Monday morning Bo got me up at 5 AM to go outside and pee. Since I had to get a pee sample for the vet I had to get up and let him out rather than letting Tony do it. I did finally get a sample. After Tony left for work I drove to the vet to drop off the sample at 7:30 AM when they opened. Since I had a 10:30 AM vet appointment I wanted to make sure the vet tested the sample prior to me bringing him in to see why he has a problem with his penis area and if it was an infection. Came home and ate breakfast, took a shower and had Bo to the vet for his 10:30 AM appointment. The vet could not find anything wrong but said he needs his hair cut short because it is so thick and that might be the problem around the penis area. They did a little shaving of hair while he was at the vet. He was such a baby when the vet examined him. He cried and cried like a little baby even though the vet was doing nothing that was hurting him. Took him home and got on the Internet to talk with Norton Anti Virus for support since I keep getting cookies and they should be blocked. After an hour on the computer with Norton tech from India we thought we had the problem solved. I then got out the hair cutter and started cutting Bo's hair. It is very short now and he looks like he did as a puppy. Around lunch I did another virus scan and sure enough the cookies we thought we blocked were back. I then got online once again and spent another hour trying to fix the problem. I was assured it was fixed, yah right. Got a beef roast going on the stove with potatoes and carrots and took a short nap. When I got up I did a little more trimming on Bo since he still was licking and the problem with him has not stopped either. Tony came home and after dinner I checked again with a virus scan, the cookies were back. Now I am mad. I got on line again and after an hour on with the help desk the tech had no answers or a way to fix it. Seems every time I go on to get my email from Windows Live Email the cookies appear even though my settings should be blocking them. We blocked all cookies from getting on the computer. Not much help and the problem is not solved. Watched Dancing With The Stars and Castle before going to bed. Bo snuggled next to me all night because he was cold from having little hair.

This morning after getting the dogs fed and Tony off to work I tried to log onto my blog to do a post only to find that the settings the Norton's tech had me set did not allow me to go into the web sight to post. Had to put all the setting back to where they were yesterday morning just to get online. So I wasted about 3 hours with Norton's and now I am back to square one since I had to put the settings where I had them prior to yesterday's tech help. Today I have to do a little around the house and give Bo a bath. I also think I will remove the netting over the pond since the tree above it is almost empty of leaves. They few leaves that fall from this point forward I will have to scoop out daily until the last of the leaves fall. My mother just called and we talked about how we are so sick of all the political ads on TV that run non stop, especially here in Milwaukee where the election is very close. In fact it looks like the Republicans will be taking over our state, time to move to another state if that does happen in two weeks. Gave Bo his bath and now he is licking more than ever. I think I will go to the pet store and buy a cone for around his neck so he can not reach that area. That's all for now, will post more later.

October 17, 2010 Sunday Dinner Time

This morning I actually was able to sleep and stay in bed until 7:30 AM before the dogs reminded me it was time to get up and feed them. Tony was already in the living room reading the Sunday Newspaper. Read a little of the newspaper before I made us breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and English muffins today for breakfast. I then got out the leaf blower and blew all the leaves in the front yard to the street, all the leaves in the side yard and back yard to the bark chip areas and even leaf blew the upstairs deck and a couple of the rain gutters I could reach. Tony started working on the bathroom tile and bathtub. I swear this bathroom project will never be completed at his pace. Did a little work on the computer backing up my files to an external hard drive and updated my blog to word perfect documents so if I ever loose this blog I have all my posts backed up. I then drove to Open Pantry and bought our weekly lottery tickets. When I got back I searched again on the Internet for a movie I saw as a kid and want to see so bad. I found it. It is called Run Wild Run Free. It is from 1969 about a boy and his horse. I ordered the DVD from Hollywood Home Cinema. I can't wait to get it. I just hope I enjoy it as much as I did seeing it as a child and again on TV many years after that. If anyone has seen this movie you know how good it is. Tony is still working on the bathroom but I think he is getting a little frustrated and will be quiting for the day soon. I have to figure out what I am going to make for dinner or what I am going to order to be delivered. I really have no ambition to cook so it will most likely be delivered from somewhere. Will spend the rest of the day watching TV getting ready for our usual Sunday night TV of Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters before going to bed. Had a good weekend. It was a little cooler today, in the mid 50s but the sun is out which makes a big difference. Tomorrow I have to take Bo to the vet in the morning to find out what his problem is. Of course since I made the vet appointment on Saturday he has not acted any different. I mentioned to Tony that I might cancel the appointment, he said 'no, he is going to the vet'. So I guess that is that. Updated the 6 week dry erase calender in the back hallway, can not believe Thanksgiving is only 6 weeks away, soon it will be Christmas and 2011. Time goes by so fast.

October 16, 2010 Saturday Night

Friday morning I woke up feeling even better than I did on Thursday. I am so glad I am feeling better. Went back to the grocery store in the morning to buy a couple more things that were on sale and I also had coupons for. I am all about saving money. Pick N Save is only three blocks from our house so it is not a waste of time or gas. Had lunch with the guys. One of the guys Birthday is this week so I baked him a Birthday cake and brought it to our lunch at Baker's Square. We had a great lunch. The staff even came and sang him Happy Birthday which did not make him happy. LOL. Came home and did a little around the house before taking an hour nap with the dogs. Tony came home and we spent the night watching TV catching up on all the shows I DVR during the week. Went to bed around 10:30 PM.

Today we got up around 7 AM and after feeding the dogs we read the morning newspaper before I made us a little breakfast. Tony then worked on the bathroom tile for a short time while I did some leaf blowing outside. Tony then went to the shop to show a couple cars he has for sale while I listened to some music and did a little cleaning. I also made an appointment at the vet for Bo on Monday because last night he was not acting himself. I think he might have a bladder infection or something else going on. It is like something bites him, he runs, and then lays down real quick. It is apparent he is not happy so we need to find out what it is. I know it is not fleas so it has to be a bladder infection, which would also explain why he can't go the entire night without having to go out to pee once or twice during the night, waking us up to let him out. When he got home and after taking a shower we went to George Webb's for lunch and then went across the street to Walgreen's to pick up a couple prescriptions and get our flu shots. I hate needles as you all know so I went first to get it over with. After Walgreen's we went to the Halloween Store down the street in search of popcorn balls. Why are there no popcorn balls for sale any more. As a kid I remember popcorn balls and loving them. You can't find them in the grocery stores, Walgreen's, not even at the Halloween Store. Where do you buy popcorn balls anymore? Came home and spent a little time with the dogs before we took a drive in the Cadillac along the lake front one last time. It was close to 70 degrees today and will most likely be the last time this warm until Spring. Had a nice drive along the lake front and even stopped for ice cream at Dairy Queen half way during the drive. After we got home we carved our pumpkins. I posted two pictures below this post of the pumpkins we carved today. Mine is the taller pumpkin, Tony's is the shorter rounder pumpkin. Not very hungry from the late lunch and ice cream and will most likely just snack the night away watching TV. We just opened our Sweetest day cards we bought for each other. Of course Tony forgot even though I reminded him on Wednesday that today was Sweetest Day. He bought a card while we were at Walgreen's today. Why don't our husbands remember these dates, even when we remind them?

October 14, 2010 Thursday Night

Tuesday I laid low most of the day because I still was not feeling well. A friend dropped off his dog for us to watch until Thursday night. The dog is so old, over 16 years old and I am going to have to have a long talk with the owner about making some final decisions regarding the dog. It is sad to watch him get lost in corners and it is time to do the humane thing. Spent the night watching TV and went to bed around 10 PM.

Wednesday I felt a little better, wow, a little better. Got some things done around the house which included vacuuming, raking the leaves outside and a little dusting. Tony got home around 5:30 PM and we ate dinner. I made barbecue ribs, mashed potato and corn with a salad. Spent the night watching TV. Was so mad because around 9:10 PM I realized I forget to set the DVR to record Criminal Minds and Law and Order SVU. Will have to watch them at the network web sight over the weekend. Took a long bath before I went to bed. It felt so good to lay in the tub and soak. Even brought a candle into the bathroom to relax in the tub. Of course most of the dogs came into the bathroom and laid on the floor wondering what the heck I was doing. Tony was in the living room. Funny how they always have to be with me. Went to bed around 10:30 PM after the nightly news.

This morning I woke up feeling better than I have in a week and a half. Could this be the turning point? I sure hope so. Drove to Pick N Save to buy some sale items and return some lettuce that was suppose to be good until the 17th, but was turning brown. Got into an argument in the check out line with a lady and her daughter who just watched the food pile up after it was scanned rather than help bag the items like everyone else does. The check out lines were long and everyone always bads their food. She was so ignorant. She started screaming loudly at me to get every one's attention after I asked her why she was just standing there with her teenage daughter rather than bagging. I kept my calm and simply said to her 'do you think yelling loudly is going to get you attention'? She continued screaming at me and was so ignorant. She walked out still arguing with me and then said to me 'you white people are all the same'. I bit my lip and simply said 'Yes, we are considerate, helpful and care about other people'. I continued with 'I will take the high road and not tell you what we all think of you'. It was priceless. The check out lady thanked me. When I was loading my groceries into the car a guy pulled up behind me and told me he admired my restraint and that I made his day. He then said to me 'you know us white people' how we are, I laughed. I am not racist in any way, but I know lazy good for nothing people when I see them, no matter what race they are. It had nothing to do with race until she made it about it. Got home from the grocery store and after putting it all away I walked across the alley to tell the neighbor what had happened at the grocery store. She enjoyed the story. Came back home and baked a Birthday cake for one of the guys we have Friday lunch with. It turned out good. White cake with chocolate frosting. Spent the afternoon doing a little around the house before taking a short hour nap until about 4 PM. Got up and started making dinner. Tony should be home soon. It is in the 50s here in Milwaukee and cloudy most of the day. Doesn't look like it will get over 50 degrees for the next few days. Fall / Winter is coming. Will spend the night watching TV, most likely The Big Bang Theory, Shit My Dad Says, Greys Anatomy and The Mentalist before going to bed tonight. Tomorrow I have to pick up some prescriptions at Walgreen's and then lunch with the guys.

October 12, 2010 Tuesday Morning

Monday turned out to be a pretty good day. I still have a cough that is so bad my stomach muscles hurt from coughing. My nose is still running like a river. But, I am starting to feel a little better. It has been over a week now that I have had this cold or flu. I am so tired of coughing and blowing my nose. I did get a lot done yesterday around the house, at least everything I wanted to accomplish. Spent the morning cleaning the house and part of the afternoon at the neighbors house discussing our worthless husbands. LOL. I did not take a nap like I usually do so by 9 PM last night I was so tired we both went to bed to watch Castle in bed. Watched Dancing With The Stars prior to Castle. Got a pretty good night's sleep last night even though all 5 dogs decided they wanted to be on the bed with us all night.

This morning I am still coughing and blowing my nose non stop. Since I feel I wasted most of last week being sick I have to get stuff done around the house today. It was in the 60s yesterday and will be again today in Milwaukee. The trees are so pretty but soon all the leaves will have fallen. This morning I have to go to Walgreen's and drop off some prescriptions and do a little coupon shopping of stuff on sale. Then I will head over to Pick N Save and do a little grocery shopping. Will most likely spend the afternoon blowing the leaves away from the house and backyard. Around 5 PM tonight a friend is dropping off his dog for us to take care of for a couple days so he can go out of town. We have taken care of his dog named Saber many times. The dog is over 15 years old and his days are numbered. His health is failing and every time we take care of his dog I think it might be the last time. So sad. I was told now Saber is having problems with holding his bowels so the next couple days might be a challenge taking care of him. Was happy I got the warning from his owner. Not a deal breaker as far as I am concerned since I can clean any mess the dog makes. Found out yesterday our health insurance will go up about $180 a month to about $880 a month for each of Tony and I. How does anyone afford health insurance anymore with these costs and yearly increases? We already spend $1400 a month for health insurance for the both of us. I can't believe it will now be close to $1800 a month for health insurance. This can not continue! So much for health care reform. It scares the hell out of me since that is over half I get from Social Security each month. Our water bill arrived yesterday also and it is now $288 a quarter. That cost went up over $50 a quarter also. If the cost of everything keeps rising at this rate there will have to be cuts in our spending somewhere. I don't know where we can cut anymore since I cut coupons, watch what I buy, and don't spend on anything we really don't need. I am sure there are people in worse shape, but how do they do it? Well, I am off to the shower so I can get what needs to get done around here accomplished. Tony is already at work for the day.