June 9, 2014 Monday Afternoon

It really has been a very busy week. 
The two rescue dogs, Rose and Casper, are doing great.  Casper is integrated with the other dogs.  Rose I just can not take the chance yet.  Today she is at the vet getting spayed.  She has gained 5.5 lbs since we got her a little over two weeks ago.  Between taking care of the two rescues and my three dogs it has been a very fast week. I have no clue where the week went, but I did have fun.  I really am a happy guy. 
Last Friday Wisconsin over turned its amendment on gay marriage, making Tony and my marriage legal in Wisconsin.  This decision came down hours into the Milwaukee Pridefest beginning.  We did spend Saturday afternoon and again that night down at Pridefest and had a great time. 
Sunday we were at the Pridefest parade in the afternoon and Locust street festival prior and after the parade.  Between the events and squeezing time in for the dogs we were very busy.
Waiting now for 5 PM to come so we can go get Rose from the vet.  Will then be a night on the floor laying next to her.
I must admit I am at a very happy time in my life.  I hope it continues.

June 2, 2014 Monday Afternoon

Had a great weekend with the dogs.  Every day we learn more about Rose and Casper.  Took them for their first walk on Saturday and they walked like perfect dogs.  Was pleasantly surprised.  Even walked Bo and Kali up the alley with Rose which is a step forward, with no issues.  We still have Rose separated from the other dogs.  Casper is on the bed with us and gets along with everyone.  Spent Saturday night watching the gay themed movie called Truth.  We both enjoyed the movie.

Sunday we took Tony's mom out for breakfast and then headed home to spend the day with the dogs.  Took Rose and Casper for another walk much longer than the prior day.  Stopped off at Stonefly bar for a drink with the dogs and they just sat there while we drank our drinks.  Spent Sunday night watching the movie Lone Survivor.  Good movie.

This morning Tony took Rose to work for the first time.  She spent the morning at the shop and Tony said she was OK.  She did cry when he was not in her sight but it was the first day.  Thought it best to have her come home at 1 PM and she was happy to be home. 

May 28, 2014 Wednesday Afternoon

Casper slept on the bed with everyone last night.  He slept in my arms all night.  Rose sleeps in a crate next to the bed because I still do not trust her with my other dogs.  The house is still separated and we still sit on opposite sides of the room at night with two sets of dogs.
Good news.  My tenant gave 30 days notice today.  Of course her reason was not a happy one.  She says her kid got lead poison  from our water.  Not much I can do.  Hundred year old house and I am not changing the pipes.  I doubt that it is true and I am just happy to hear she will be gone by July 1.  Not cooking tonight and going out for hamburgers.  I was home all day with the dogs and I need a drink and at least an hour away from the house for my own sanity. 

May 27, 2014 Tuesday Morning

I could not be more happy with how the weekend went.  Spent most of the weekend at home with our three dogs and the two new rescue dogs.  We have the house sectioned off with fencing and gates so that the two Pitbulls are always a fence or two away from my three small dogs.  Friday night we went to a party for an hour or so and left them in their crates for the first time.  Rose cries a lot but they are safe.  Friday night sleeping went better than the night before and I only let them out twice during the night and they settled back down in their bedroom cages with no problems.

Saturday morning we were up by 5 AM.  I have a feeling life is going to start this early for a while.  We spent all day with the dogs getting to know them.  They both are very sweet dogs.  Spent most of the day outside on the deck with them or in the living room watching TV.  One of us sitting on one side of the room with our three dogs, the other sitting on the other side of the fence with the two new dogs.  I also spent a lot of time working on their Facebook page named:   Rose and Casper.

Sunday came and went so fast I don't even remember what we did.  Juggling the dogs around the house and learning new things about them all day has been such a pleasure.  How someone could starve these two dogs is beyond my thinking.  Their ears are like dried leather from being frost bitten in the cold.  They both listen and already know their new names.  We even learned Casper can 'shake paw'.   Rose is going to be more difficult but not hopeless. 

Monday we introduced Casper to the three dogs with no problems.  By this day I could see Casper does not have a mean bone in his body and has been beat down so badly by people and his mother that he would take any abuse and still wag his tail.  So sad.  Off and on during the day I would be on one side of the fence with our three dogs and Casper and Tony on the other with Rose.  Eventually Rose wants her baby back on her side of the fence.  Spent the night watching the HBO movie The Normal Heart.  I cry when I think of all the talented people we lost.  An entire generation.  I recommend finding this movie and watching it.  Everyone involved deserves and award.

Today I am with the dogs alone while Tony is at work.  No problems and going to be a fun day getting to know the dogs and doing things around the house.  I still think we made the right decision and things are going to in time work out. 

May 23, 2014 Friday Afternoon

Yesterday morning we drove down to Waukegan Illinois and picked up Rose and Casper.  The drive home went pretty good.  Tony took the day off and helped the rest of the day with getting the dogs adjusted to the house and keeping our three dogs separated from them until we know them better.  I must be nuts for taking this on.  Had some challenges during the day like Casper peeing in the house, which has only happened now that once.  Rose has domination and aggression issues that will need to be addressed.  We spent over 2 hours at the vet with the dogs yesterday afternoon and walked out with antibiotics, shampoo, and a date for Rose to get spayed.  It needs to happen sooner rather than later before she get pregnant from Casper.  Hopefully it will make her less dominant also.  Ordered some lasagna for supper and spent the night watching TV, me on one side of the fence with Kali, Bo, and Vito,   Tony on the other with Casper and Rose.  The night went as smooth as a first night can go.  I did let them out at 1 AM to have them pee only to have her poop a bit later after we brought her back in.  Will have to let them pee and poop from this point forward if we let them out at 1 AM.  Rose is 33 lbs, Casper is 36.1 lbs.  Both horribly under weight. 

This morning we were up by 5 AM.  Tony went to work and I have worked on getting the house in better shape for the dogs and less stress for me.  I started a Facebook page called Rose and Casper if you would like to follow their progress.  Did not have lunch today with the guys.  One is having a get together tonight and thought it best to just spend the day with the dogs an go tonight for an hour to see the guys rather than lunch.  The dogs have been good for the most part.  I am starting to wonder if I bit off more than I can chew.  I am just happy they are not trying in any way to get to my three small dogs on the other side of fences and gates.   No plans this weekend.  Will just hang with the dogs. 

May 21, 2014 Wednesday Afternoon

Yesterday morning I saw a post on Facebook from a Rescue about two Pitbull dogs that they rescued that someone had apparently starved almost to death.  Here is the picture of them:

Yah, pretty sad.  So I posted that I would be interested in finding out more about these dogs and maybe even adopt them.  One thing has led to another and tonight a Rescue person is coming to our house to see if our home is OK for the two dogs.   We will then drive an hour south tomorrow to Waukegan Illinois and see the two dogs.   We plan on bringing Bo with us and if they all get along as planned they will all be coming home with us.  Yah, I am nuts.  Tony and I spent last night talking about this and I am so surprised he is on board with this.  When I showed him the pictures of the dogs and asked if we could take one, his reply was 'why would we take just one, we will take both of them'.  This is why I love my Tony and we have been together for over 25 years.  I honestly thought he was my 'out' if it was not right to have them.  So tomorrow at this time if all goes right we will have 5 dogs again.  The dogs will need a lot of care and medical attention.  Hopefully the rescue will help a bit but we are prepared if they do not.  The brown dog is going to be named Rose (rather than Rouge) and she is 3 years old.  He son is 2 years old and named Cripto.  Not sure if we will keep that name or change it.  Apparently they don't answer to their names so it is OK to change them.   I am a bit scared and wondering if I bit off more than I can chew on this one.  Much less I was looking forward to somewhat of a break or a vacation.  When we talked last night we talked about the fact how we both are getting older and if we were to ever do something this big now would be most likely the last time.  I am excited.  I feel like a parent waiting to pick up their newly adopted kid.  On  sad note, I did find out the dog we found over 10 years ago named Missy that we gave to our pharmacist, died a couple days after Stella died.  What is weird about this is the reason we gave her the Pomeranian named Missy was because we found Stella and the dog was too fragile to have and we had just found her and she was not settled in much anyway.  Weird how they both died around the same time and the tie they had.  Life is very interesting.  Will spent the night watching TV after the rescue visit and I also call the lady we are meeting tomorrow.  Since it is an hour away a different rescue is checking us out tonight.  Not afraid in any way.  My house is puppy safe.  

May 19, 2014 Monday Afternoon

Tony's sister picked up their three dogs a little before noon on Friday.  Was happy and sad at the same time to see them leave.  Met the guys for lunch a little late but had a great lunch as usual.  Spent the afternoon on my Lawlessmilwaukeecouple Facebook page and downloading more picture and photo shopping us into them.  Also have to come up with dialogue which is sometimes hard to come up with and thankfully current stories help with that.  Spent Friday night watching TV and went to bed a little disappointed because we didn't go to a neighborhood fund raiser for a fire victim that I wanted to go to and we just 'blew off'.   Went to bed around 10 PM.

Saturday we left the house around 10 AM to go to a couple rummage sales in the neighborhood at a bar and high school.  After the sales we picked up Bo and went to a car show on the west side of Milwaukee.  Bo was so good and a lady even came up to Tony and I and let us know 'what a well behaved little boy we have'.  So nice for a parent to hear this even if it is our dog.  Got home a little later in the afternoon and went out to eat at neighborhood restaurant for supper.  Spent way too much money and was shocked by the total bill to be honest.  We each had one double drink and they came to $24.  That is $12 a drink?   I can buy a bottle of Vodka for $24.  Supper was good and brought home my ribs for Sundays supper.  Spent Saturday night catching up on the DVR recordings. 

Sunday I made breakfast and we spent the morning doing things around the house outside.  Around noon, after I walked Vito up the alley for a while, we took Bo with us for a long walk around the neighborhood.  Stopped off for a coffee and smoothie at the local coffee shop and then walked to a couple rummage sales.  Had a nice walk.  Tony would rather walk the neighborhood than the river trails so I guess I will have to save river trail walks for during the week.  Bo was once again so good and is becoming a very good dog with us when we take him places.  Made left overs for supper and spent the night watching the Billboard Music awards.

This morning we were up by 5 AM so I could drop Tony off at his eye doctor by 6:45 AM on the other side of town to cataract surgery.   Lots of construction and way too early for me in the morning.  I was not happy and we decided Tony would take a taxi home.  I was never going to find the place with all the construction and detours and frankly lost it for a while totally over whelmed.  The desk nurse tried giving me directions but I can not follow from step one to step two to step three, without forgetting step one.  I have no short term memory anymore.  It is like when someone tells me their name.  I turn my head and the name is gone.  I swear it is the HIV meds.  Anyway, best for him to take a taxi home and he did.   Surgery went good and he was home by 10AM.  Taxi cost $33, which I though was very high.  Oh well.  Spent the day doing things around the house looking busy so Tony doesn't think I do nothing all day, lol.   Thankfully I have a lot to do on Monday's.  We did take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.  Making spaghetti for supper with salads.  Will spend the night watching Dancing With The Stars final.

May 14, 2014 Wednesday Afternoon

Been busy taking care of the 6 dogs that I find myself with daily.  The pug puppy is doing great and she only had one accident in the house yesterday.  Yesterday I stayed home and with the dogs all day. 

Today I did go get my monthly HIV meds and food from the pantry.  Spent the rest of the day playing with all the dogs.  They really get along great.

Short post since I have a puppy on my lap and hard to type.

May 12, 2014 Monday Afternoon

Stayed home Friday night with the dogs.  The second night did go much better than the first and we did sleep pretty good.

Saturday we were up by 5 AM.   There just was no going back to bed after letting the puppy out.  Spent the morning with the dogs.  Around noon we went to Burlington Coat Factory to look for a Summer jacket for me.  Not having any luck finding one I like.  Not very many to choose from even at the store today.  Did end up buying two just because they were on clearance and at this point 'good enough'.   Came home and spent the rest of the day with the six dogs.  They are really happy and no problems at all.  The puppy is making it outside 3 out of 4 times.  With that said the pup pees a lot so I have cleaned up a spot or two, or three.  I hope the sister in law gives us a gift certificate for floor cleaning.  At the last minute we decided to go to the play West Side Story at a high school down the street.  Was the best $10 we have spent in a long time.  Great performance by these high school kids.  Damn if they couldn't sing.  Was very impressed and glad we went.  Found out later from the tenant the one dog barked the entire time we were gone.  Went to be around 11 PM which was good because the dogs slept all night until 5 AM Sunday morning.

Sunday we were up by 5 AM and did not go back to bed.  Sucks to have the large Sunday paper read by 8 AM.   Went out for breakfast at George Webb's and then went to Walgreen's to buy some stuff.  After a couple hours at home we went to a couple stores on the way to drop off flowers at Tony's mom's house.  Bought a vacuum at Kmart.  Ours is 2 years old and trust me we got our money out of it.  Dropped off the flowers at the moms and came home.  Tony put the vacuum together and it did not work.  Wouldn't even go on when plugged in.  Spent the night watching TV and went to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up by 5 AM.  Around 10 AM I drove to Kmart to exchange the vacuum.  Stopped off at Wendy's on my way home for chili for lunch.  Spent the rest of the day with the dogs and watching the storms roll in every few hours.  Making salads and TV dinners for supper and will spend the night watching Dancing With The Stars and Castle.  Better go find the puppy............

May 9, 2014 Friday Afternoon

Yesterday afternoon around 3 PM Tony's sister came and dropped off her three dogs.  One is a long hair Daschound, one is a 1 old Pug and one is an 8 week old, not trained Pug.  Here they were after and hour:

This of course on top of our three dogs.  Of course last night we did not get a good night's sleep.  The puppy slept in a crate next to the bed.  The five others slept on the bed.  The two new dogs did not sleep well and kept us up most of the night.

This morning I was up by 7 AM.  Actually I was up many times during the night and twice to let the dogs outside.  The puppy is doing good and if I get her outside on the hour she pees outside rather than on the pad I have placed out for her.  She has made two mistakes.  Tony picked me up and we had a nice lunch with the guys.  Spent the afternoon with the dogs, taking an hour nap on the couch with all six dogs.  No plans this weekend and we will most likely be home with the dogs.  Even decided not to go to my mom and thankfully she understands why  .... six dogs.

May 7, 2014 Wednesday Afternoon

Yesterday was not a pleasant day weather wise in Milwaukee.  The lake makes us much colder and I saw on the news that Milwaukee was the coldest in the 48 continuous states.  YUCK!   I did manage to get outside in the morning and weed and feed the front lawn.  I also went down to the trails with some fencing and wire and used it to cover a drain cover that is broken and I am afraid my or someone else's dog will fall down in the drain / hole.  I should have taken a picture of my work and will take my camera on the next walk to see if it is still there or if someone destroyed it.  Took a nice nap in the afternoon before Tony came home and woke me up.  Not sure what he came home for but I did then get up and start doing things around the house.  Made spaghetti for supper and spent the night watching TV.

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Went grocery shopping around 11 AM in between the rain and hail.  It is not nice outside again today and only about 40 degrees and damp.  Here is a video of this mornings hail storm:

Going out for cheap hamburgers tonight.  Will them come home and spend the night watching TV.  Tomorrow Tony's sister is dropping off her 3 dogs for us to take care of for 10 days as they go on vacation.  I will have 6 dogs to take care of, one being a puppy, not potty trained yet.  I will post pictures of the dogs.

May 5, 2014 Monday Afternoon

Friday night we stayed home and watched TV.  Did the lovin thing before going to sleep at 10:30 PM.

Saturday late morning we went to Southridge Mall to do some clothes shopping.  Was looking for a Spring or Summer jacket and some white shirts  ... all on sale of course.  I do like the clearance racks best.  After a couple hours in the mall Tony was ready to go home.  Only found one white shirt at the 'right' price under $15 on sale.  No jackets I likes in any of the stores.  Will have to wear last years which I am not so found of this year.  Went out to eat at George Webb's for supper.  Spent the night watching the movie Your Next.  Was a good horror movie.  Went to bed again around 10 PM for some lovin and then to sleep.

Sunday morning we took Tony's mom out for breakfast.  Stopped off at Menard's on the way home to return some items from the last deck project.   Talked Tony into a nice long walk along the river trails with Bo later in the afternoon.  Had a nice walk.  Had someone take a picture of us:

Made some soup and ham sandwiches for supper.  Spent the night watching The Good Wife and then turned off the TV and went to sleep.

This morning I was up by 7 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Spent the early morning reading the newspaper.  Finally ventured outside by late morning even though it is only 40 degrees here in Milwaukee.  It is suppose to get warm by the end of the week.  Summer like temperatures finally.  Spent the afternoon doing things around the house and cleaning a bit.  Making some salads and a pizza for supper.  Will spend the night watching Dancing With The Stars and Castle before going to bed.

May 2, 2014 Friday Afternoon

Not sure where this week went.  The weather here in Milwaukee has been horrible.  In the 40s and either cold and damp or out right raining.  Did some work outside when I could but really spent the last few days indoors doing things around the house.   A nap each afternoon ate up a couple hours of each afternoon.

Had lunch with the guys today.  We have not had lunch for the past couple weeks due to illness of one or another of the guys.  Was nice to get together today for laughs and my birthday.  I bought lunch.

No plans this weekend.  It is finally suppose to get to 60 by Sunday and be sunny with no rain.  Hopefully we will get outside and take Bo for a walk at least once this weekend.

Been also busy working on my Facebook page Lawlessmilwaukeecouple.  Takes more time than most realize to make pictures and come up with a story for each picture and each day.  If your on Facebook check it out.  I am having fun with the page.

April 29, 2014 Tuesday Afternoon

Saturday afternoon we saw psychic John Edwards.  There were about 300 people.  Was interesting but I liked Long Island Medium Theresa Caputo better.  Got home and ordered some Jimmy John's subs for supper since we were to have a light supper due to our Monday morning colonoscopies.

Sunday we spent the day eating Jell-O and soup chicken broth.  Went to Jo Ann Fabric in the afternoon to buy some material to hang over the deck roof I made to block the sun.  The clerk thought Tony and I made a cute couple and after I told her we just recently got married she looked at me and said 'I can see he really loves you'.  Thought that was sweet.  Came home and at 4 PM we both started drinking the prep solution for the colonoscopy.  Got what we had to drink done in the two hours and was one the toilet an hour after beginning to drink the solution.  Watched TV in bed and spent the night rolling around waiting for 2:30 AM to come so we could both start drinking the solution again to clean out our bodies.

Monday morning we got up by 3 AM and started drinking the colonoscopy solution.  Showered and left the house at 7 AM for our colonoscopies.  They took me in one room and Tony in another.  At 8:35 AM the nurse came and got me and took me to the room for the procedure.  The last thing I remember was the nurse telling me to lay on my side.  Next thing I was in my room and soon I was in Tony's room.  This is all a blur.   Got home by 11 AM and spent the rest of the day napping and watching TV.  Went to sleep early Monday night after watching Dancing With The Stars.  Funny how the mind works when under for the procedure.  Tony and I spent the night talking about what we did and did not remember.  Here is a run down of what we remember:

Tony and I spent last night comparing what we remember about the colonoscopy. Here is what we remember:

My memory after the colonoscopy returns when I am already in Tony's room. Tony had his procedure after mine so I was a bit more awake? I don't honestly remember walking to Tony's room. What is weird is even though my memory begins in Tony's room I do vaguely remember that I had graham crackers in my room. I remember thinking 'cool, graham crackers' since I do love them. What is funny is I don't remember what I drank with the crackers. Coffee? Water? What the cup looked like? Nothing. I assume I had coffee. Tony has no member of his coffee or crackers. I remember seeing him with crackers but have no memory of what he was drinking. Why would I remember the crackers and not the drink?

We both wondered how the employee knew to come get us and get McDonald's food for us. I checked my phone log on my cell phone 'to recall' that I called Tony's shop at 10:12 AM to have an employee come pick us up. I have no memory of telling him to bring coffee and McDonald's which he did bring because I guess I told him to.

We both wonder how we got dressed and have no memory of it. I somehow managed to put underwear, long johns, sweats, socks, and two shirts on without remembering. Funny thing is I always put my socks on after my long johns so I can put the socks over them so the long johns don't bunch up when I put the sweat pants on. My socks were not that way. Did I dress myself or did someone help me?

Scariest part is Tony drove our car home, I was the passenger, while the employee followed us in his car. Of course we were not suppose to drive home. I do remember saying 'we should stop at Home Depot' as we passed the store but remember nothing else about the ride home. Tony should not have drove home because he also does not remember much about doing it. As we talked about this drive home I honestly thought at first I had drove the car home. So scary.

I lastly last night mentioned to Tony as we were talking about this that one employee was not at the shop when I called. I remember telling Tony this at least four times during the day and when I mentioned it last night Tony did not remember me ever telling him. Too funny.

I had two polyps. Tony had six. I have to have another in six years. Tony will need another in 3 years.

 

Found out today from Tony's employee that I did indeed drive home after the colonoscopy.  Scary because I do not remember and Tony swears he drove home.  

 

This morning I was up by 7 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.   Did four loads of laundry during the course of the day.  It rained all day today and looks like this week it will rain every day.  Went to Home Depot and bought some stuff I needed for the deck.  Worked on the fabric overhang.  Spent the afternoon watching TV and listening to the rain fall.  Making salads and sweet and sour chicken for supper tonight.  Will spend the night watching TV and most likely go to bed early due to the rain and damp weather.   

April 24, 2014 Thursday Afternoon

Been working on a roof or covering over the side deck of the house.  I will hopefully get a picture posted soon once I get them off my camera.  My body sure feels the pain after working hard outside  like I have been. 

Yesterday was my birthday.  Had a nice day. I turned 53 years old.  Where do the years go.  I spent the day working on the deck roof and got half the roof panel up before calling it a day.  Took a shower and soon Tony came home early from work. We went out to eat at a nice steak restaurant.  I had a fillet, Tony had prime rib.  Both were good but I was glad I got the steak.  Was an expensive dinner and thankfully we don't do this often.  Came home and ate some cake and watched TV before going to bed for a little lovin and then to sleep.

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the three dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Still missing Stella as I feed the dogs.  Spent all day today finishing the roof above the side deck. Had to go to the hardware store at one point to get more washers for the screws.  Finished and got the furniture set put looking nice.  I actually looks like I added a room off the side of the house.  Just making some salads and pizza for supper tonight since my body aches and I just took a pain pill.  Will then spend the night watching TV most likely going to bed early.  I do enjoy working on projects but can not believe how much my body aches afterwards.  Must be old age.  Not liking the pain but it feels good to know it is because of hard work and living life.

April 21, 2014 Monday Afternoon

Saturday we spent the day doing things around the house, well, I did, Tony pretty much laid around watching TV.  Oh well, he does work all week.  Around 4 PM we went down the street to a bar party for the owner that died last week.  This was the after the funeral party.  Had a couple drinks and ate a little food before heading home.  Spent the night watching TV and doing the lovin thing before going to sleep.

Sunday we were up by 6 AM.  Had to shower and leave the house by 8:30 AM for a 9 AM Easter breakfast.  Sad half the people at the family table we don't really like.   (Tony's family)  Did I say that?   Had a nice 'all you can eat' breakfast and soon headed home.  Stopped at Walgreens to pick up some prescriptions, our prep kits for next Monday's colonoscopy included.  I am not looking forward to next Sunday and then Monday morning.  Stopped also to get lottery tickets.  After we were home for a while I talked Tony into going for a walk along the river trails with Bo.  Ended up sitting under the North avenue bridge watching the Milwaukee Fire and Rescue do some training in the river.  As we were watching a reporter came up to us and asked if he could interview us on camera.  Here is the final piece that aired Sunday night.  We are on the feed about 45 minutes in:

 

It really is amazing how the cameras just seem to find us.  We have been in the news and print so often in the past 25 years.  Sat and watched for about an hour and then came home.  Bo was so good the entire time and sat on my lap.   Made hamburgers for supper and spent the night watching a movie on ABC.  Went to bed after the movie.

 

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Tony soon left for work and I again reminded him to come home this morning to take me to Menard's to buy the roofing panels I need for the side deck.  They are on sale so I figure I might as well get them even though I have a lot of prep work to do before they are ready to be installed or put up.  I felt safer having Tony drive the truck and the panels hanging out 4 feet.  Got them all home OK considering they are 12 feet long.  Rain started around 1 PM so I figured it was a good time to take a nap.   Making a Hormel meatloaf and potatoes for supper tonight.  Will spend the night watching Dancing With The Stars and Castle before going to sleep.  It did get to 70 today but the rain is bringing a cool front that will drop us back to normal highs of 50s for the next few days.  I love 50s for working outside in the yard and hope I can get out there the next two days.

April 18, 2014 Friday Afternoon

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Did turn to feed Stella and caught myself.  Did tear up a bit.  Actually had a hard night last night.  Tony soon left for work and I started reading the morning newspapers.  I wanted to get outside and start working again and was outside by about 9:30 AM.  Went to the hardware store and got some wood I need for the current project.  I am keeping myself busy so I don't think of Stella.  I noticed by the size of my posts this past week how I don't write much because I am busy doing things.  I guess it is good to keep busy.  If I don't I start to cry.  I miss Stella so much.  I am sure the sad music I am playing right now isn't helping.  Went and had lunch with the guys.  Had a nice lunch.  Two of the guys were sick again this week.  Spent the afternoon working outside in the 50 degree weather.  I did notice my sun rash came back and I had to start putting cream on my forehead again.  I swear it is from the Epzicom that I get this sun rash.  Have to make sure I put sun screen on and wear a hat when I am in the sun.  Made a couple salads for supper and will most likely throw a pot pie in the microwave for Tony for supper tonight.  Will stay home tonight and watch TV.  Tomorrow we have a funeral of a local bar owner to go to and will then go to the bar for a drink or two after the funeral.  Sunday we will have a breakfast out with Tony's mom and sister at a restaurant on the south side of Milwaukee for Easter. 

I still am beating myself up about putting Stella down a week and a half ago.  I am getting to the point where I now can say she would be most likely having some problems and it might not be best for her any more.  Of course I have no way of knowing and I am just trying to rationalize my putting her down a week and a half a go.  I do keep telling myself that even if I put her down a bit too early ... I did it out of love and didn't want her in any pain.  That can not be wrong?  I also would have prolonged my pain and would have not let her do much these last two weeks so she wouldn't get hurt or over do herself.  So her quality of life would not have been what it should be also.  I just hurt so much inside and cry cry cry wishing I could hold her and have her back.  I know this is all normal.  Tony is already to the point where he doesn't want to see me cry so when I do break down I have to leave the room and try to pull myself together.   At night I just stare are the ceiling thinking about her and tears run down my face.

April 17, 2014 Thursday Afternoon

Spent most of yesterday doing things around the house.  Did leave once to go get my monthly HIV meds and food from the pantry.  Made a colonoscopy appointment for Tony and myself.  Made them the same day back to back so we can be in misery the day before together.  We both need one and am glad I finally broke down and made the appointment.  Was surprised they got us in so soon, a week form next Monday morning.  Last night we saw Theresa Caputo / Long Island Medium.  She was at the Riverside theater with about 2000 people.  She did come close to us but we did not get a reading.  I honestly was hoping for a reading as silly as that sounds.  I talked to my dead relatives for weeks telling them to come forward.  Actually had a little break down when we got home since I was praying for a message from Stella.  Of course Tony said 'you already got your message', which is true.  I also soon snapped out of it when I thought about all the hurt and pain that was in the theater and how fortunate I am to have the little pain I have.  Some people have really had a bad life and things happening to them.   Went to bed around 11 PM, crying a bit.

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  First morning of not reaching for Stella's bowl.  Spent the morning and early afternoon working outside in the yard.  It got to 50 degrees today in Milwaukee.  This afternoon I took Bo for a nice long walk along the river trails so we could see all the flooding from the recent rain.  The river is very high.  Just got back from Pick N Save to buy a few items.  Will most likely spend the night watching TV with the dogs.  I am so glad it finally looks like Spring is coming.

April 15, 2014 Tuesday Afternoon

The crematory called a little after I posted yesterday and said Stella's ashes were ready to pick up.  Tony and I went there and got her by noon.   They put the ashes in the urn I had picked out.  Came home and spent a little time picking out the right picture for on the front of the urn and putting the name plaque I made for the front also.  Put her collar and hair sample in the top compartment.  I did open the bottom to make sure there were ashes.  There are.  Spent the afternoon doing things around the house.  Made salads and a couple TV dinners for supper.  Spent the night watching Dancing With The Stars before going to sleep.

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Still cried this morning when feeding the dogs.  Seems to be the time that still gets to me.  Spent the day just doing things around the house.  Left a message with a doctors office that does colonoscopies.  Need to set one up for Tony and I and would like them back to back so we can do the prep the same day.  Misery is better with company I figure.  It never even got above 32 degrees today in Milwaukee.  Called in my monthly HIV meds to be picked up Thursday.  I did leave the house twice when I read of dogs loose in the neighborhood on a neighborhood website.  Didn't find either dog but later read they are safe.  Went to Walgreen's and picked up a prescription on one of the dog journeys.  Took a nice two hour nap with the dogs.  Nap time is different without Stella.  So much room on the bed and she was helpful as a border for Vito to not fall off the bed, being blind and all.  Making spaghetti and salads for supper tonight.  Will be an early night to bed.  Cold, damp, cloudy, day in Milwaukee.  Where is Spring?

April 14, 2014 Monday Morning

Friday night we went out for a cod fish fry at the restaurant we went to last Friday.  The fish fry was not as good as the week prior but will give them another try sometime in the future.  Came home and watched a little TV before going to the bedroom for a round of lovin and then went to sleep.  Still got up a couple times and walked the house hoping for a sign from Stella.  When Bo came up on the bed tonight all he wanted to do was play.  I have not seen him like this since his best friend Stella died.  I took note and even said 'my Bo is back'.   It was a noticeable change.

Saturday morning we were up by 7 AM.   Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Breakfast still makes me cry as I only make three of four dog bowls up with food.  Tony went to work for an hour around 10 AM.   When he got home I got him in the shower so we could do some things I had in mind in the afternoon.  Around noon we left the house to go to Menard's to price and plan my next outside project.  On the way to Menard's we stopped off at the Milwaukee Humane Society to look at dogs.  Tony did not want to.  I was no way going to get a dog, but was happy I was even considering it and opening my heart again.  Saw a deaf Pitbull and spent some time with it.  Unfortunately it is only 6 months old and not trained.  I could handle a deaf Pitbull if it was trained but I have no clue how to train a deaf Pitbull and would fail the dog.  Tony cried the entire time we were in the Humane Society looking at the dogs.  I actually smiled.   You know I miss Stella with all my heart and her death is tearing me apart.  With that said, I am so amazed how quickly I am to even consider another dog.  I guess I just figure we have the room and love and there are so many dogs that need a good home.  Stella gave us so much happiness and we need that back in the house.  We will get a dog or find one after May when we babysit Tony's sisters two dogs.  Can't bring one into the house before then.  I am not looking to replace Stella.  I am simply opening our home since we have the love and room.  Left and went to Menard's and bought some items and did some planning and pricing.  Came home and spent the later half of the afternoon with the dogs.   Around 4 PM a friend of ours came over with a picture he made of Stella.  After we fed the dogs we went out to eat and the same friend joined us.  Had a nice supper, good conversation, and three drinks.  I can't remember the last time I had three drinks.  As we went to leave it was hailing outside nickel size hail.  Ran to our car and drove the two blocks home.  Spent the rest of the night watching TV.  Went to bed around 9 PM and did another round of lovin and then went to sleep.

Sunday morning we were up by 7 AM again.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Made breakfast.  We went to Pick N Save around noon to get lottery tickets an some ham and rolls for supper.  Came home and soon Tony wanted a nap.  I think he really wanted more lovin.  Did the lovin thing and took an hour nap.  Made ham and rolls for supper and spent the night watching Good Wife and Mentalist before going to sleep.  Fell asleep during Mentalist and don't even know how it ended.

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Tony left for work around 7:30 AM.  Just stopped raining.  Rained all night.  It is only 34 degrees outside and not getting above 40 all week, or not much above. 

Had a major breakdown this morning crying over Stella.  I read the comments and appreciate them.  You are right, but it is still hard.  I do keep beating myself up thinking I wish I was stronger so I didn't put her down last week.   I wish I would have kept her alive and monitored the situation, giving her more time.  I know even as I type that, that more time could be even now, next week, but, that would have been more time at this point.  The fact she could still be by my feet right now kills me if it were not for our decision to put her down last Monday.  Of course how long and what would have happened next could have been heart breaking also.  So, I go back and forth.  Beat myself up one minute wishing I was stronger, knowing I did the best thing the next moment.  I guess I just miss her so much.  I am hoping they call and say we can pick up her ashes today.  Would be nice to get that over with and have her back home.  I will just do things around the house today.   To cold and damp to do anything outside.  Good day to clean if I get the energy.