February 25, 2014 Tuesday Afternoon

Spent last night watching TV and a couple shows off the DVR.  Talked all night as I thought of things about the wedding plans.  Of course Tony is in the mindset of 'just tell me when and where'.  I am trying to make it a great day.  Also was searching the Internet for restaurants to go to around the court house with Tony and the people we bring with us.  So far it looks like the guys from lunch, Tony's sister, mom and sister-in-law will make 10.  Will be a great group of people on a day to remember.  Most good fine dining restaurants are closed on a Friday afternoon so I think we will just have lunch at a Fuddruckers 10 minutes from the court house.  Went to bed and watched Castle with Tony and the dogs before going to sleep around 10:15 PM.

This morning I was up by 7 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Spent the early morning reading the newspapers and figuring out how I would inform my mom about the wedding.  When we announced 21 years ago we were having a Holy Union I was disowned by the family for three years.  A lot has changed, but there are still those who don't totally agree with my life.  I did post on Facebook yesterday our wedding plans and it has been very interesting who has or more importantly who has not responded in some way.  One of my sisters 'liked' the post and commented 'congratulations'.   My other sister who I just went to the fundraiser with last weekend saw the post but has yet to say anything or respond in any way.  She is also the sister that told me 21 years ago that she would raise her children to know my lifestyle was wrong.  Again, a lot has changed, but obviously not enough has changed.  She will never feel my marriage is as worthy as hers, EVER.  When I did finally talk to my mom around 10 PM I talked about everything but the wedding.  I lastly told her I had something to tell her.   I asked her not to say a word until I was finished and she didn't.  I started by saying 'I have something to tell you.  It has finally become legal to get married in Illinois and Tony and I will be going to Illinois on March 21st to get legally married'.  I continued ' I am not sure how you feel about this but I am telling you I am a little put off by the lack of responses I have gotten from other family members.  I know for a fact that Dad and Penny know this from seeing my post and have yet to respond.   I think this is shameful because if I was anyone off the streets telling them I was getting married I would hear congratulations.  It hurts that I have not heard this from them and all I am asking is for you to say that, congratulations'.   I paused and mom said 'congratulations'.  I said thank you.  So I guess she got my point.  I am really put off by my siblings lack of acknowledgement of our wedding.  So I guess as far as things have gotten, they still have a ways to go.  I also told her I did not expect any presents from anyone but would be very disappointed if I did not receive a 'congratulations on your wedding day' card from them.  At this point it will be interesting to see who does or does not acknowledge my big day.  I also went on to tell mom 'this will be the happiest day of my life.  I have always dreamed of meeting a man to spend the rest of my life with, grow old with and get married, and my dream is finally coming true'.  I continued by telling her 'if I die the day after my wedding I would die a happy happy man'.  I actually think she understood.  What is so sad is the fact she said somewhere in the conversation 'I though you were married'.   This tells me how little people realize what we gay people can and can not do yet in this world.  Heck, you got Arizona trying to write discrimination into their laws and countries making it a crime to be gay.  We have a long way to go.  Went grocery shopping around noon since tomorrow is suppose to be very cold and only 10 degree high for the day.  This Winter is never going to end.  Looks like much the same for the next couple weeks never getting about 25 degrees.  Spent the afternoon listening to music with the dogs all snuggled around me.  Stella's ear is not getting better and I made an appointment to take her back to the doctor on Thursday.  I have been medicating the ear twice a day and she still cries when I touch her ears.  There is nasty coming out but after I clean them they look fine.  So, back to the doctor.  Making Chicken Cordon Bleu for supper with rice and a salad.  Will most likely spend the night watching TV with the dogs.  I am still on cloud nine and riding the wedding planning high.