August 26, 2015 Wednesday Afternoon

Last week Friday I had an ultra sound on my gallbladder and other things around the stomach area looking for stones or anything out of the ordinary.  Found nothing.  Good news but not good news since I have having such stomach problems.

Since Friday I have spent every night waking up by 1 AM and sweat buckets until I get up around 4 AM to clear my bowels and take a hit of pot to stop the sweating and relax my body.  I am dripping wet when I get out of bed.  It reminds me of prior to finding out I was HIV.  This morning was no exception and I sweat from about 1AM to 4AM when I got up to get ready to go to the hospital for my Cystoscopy.

Monday I called my doctor and insisted on a stool culture to see if there was anything bad in my poop since it is the green and the consistency of cement.  Finally got an order and took it in at 2 PM.  Was called the next day and told nothing in my stool including Giardia which I have had in the past.

Today Tony dropped me off at the hospital at 6:15 AM.  Checked in and went to the 4th floor where the Cystoscopy is performed.   Was not happy when they told me I could not have a valium like I had thought I was getting.  Was told it would be in my IV.  Hell, I needed something to calm me down now.   At 7 AM the nurse came in to put in my IV.  She could not find a vein the first time.  WTF?   Second time now.   She finally had to clean me up and try again.  Around 7:20 AM they wheeled me into the room where the procedure is performed.   I do remember most of the procedure and was told it is because I was not put under as much as the Colonoscopy or Tooth being pulled.  I remember them injecting the numbing stuff and it stung like a mother fucker for 10 seconds.  Shortly then after I could tell the doctor was inserting the scope because it hurt a bit.  Once in I do not remember any pain.  I do also remember looking up at the screen when the camera was in my bladder.  The whole thing was over very fast.  Was told by the nurse I was one of the most chatty patients she has had and that I talked during the entire procedure asking questions and stuff.  Was told my prostate is enlarged and we will have to address it but no real problem that would explain why I have so much pain or bloating or stomach problems, or pain in my prostate area.  Wheeled me back to the room and soon it was time to pee.  I knew there would be pain but was more startled by the blood that came out prior to peeing.  I just grabbed the thing and blood started dripping out.  Not a happy sight to see blood dripping from my junk.  Got through the pee even though it stung.  Tony picked me up at the main doors of the hospital about 9 AM.  We stopped at McDonalds for a bacon egg and cheese bagel and headed home.   Have peed once since home and burned and bleed.  Have to pee again soon and not looking forward to it.

I do have follow up appointments next week with the GI doctor and have called and left a message to see the doctor who did the Cystoscopy today for what to do about my prostate.  That will be another appointment.  I am getting frustrated but we keep ruling things out.  I just wish someone could find the problem.  I honest think the stomach problems are due to the diagnosis of Severe Diverticulosis.  That will hopefully be addressed next week when I see the GI doctor.  This up all night dripping wet and having to change the bedding daily is ridiculous.  No matter what I eat, whether I eat or not, whether it is food or water, anything I do gives me bloating and stomach cramping.

Tonight we have the funeral for our Uncle Tom that die last week.  He was 89 and had a good life.  The end could and should have been quicker.  Time to go pee.  Wish me luck.

August 20, 2015 Thursday Afternoon

Had a CT Scan with and without contrast done on Monday.  It was not as bad as I had remembered in the past.  I think it was best to tell the person performing the test about my fear of that 'hot' feeling when they inject the contrast because he told me he injected it slower and honestly the feeling was not that bad.  So I guess they can make it not as bad if they choose.  Was told to call the doctor on Tuesday for the results.  Called and left a message with no return call.  Wednesday afternoon I called the doctor again and left a message for the nurse about finding out my results and if I will be having the Cystoscopy on Friday.  No return call.  Today I got out of bed at 6 AM sweating bullets and went to Walgreens and bought Irritable Bowel medicine because of the cramping and sweating.  This afternoon I left a more heated message with the doctor saying I still have not heard from anyone about my CT scan much less if I am having the Cystoscopy tomorrow.  A bit ago I got the return call from the nurse saying 'didn't you get the results mailed'.  "NO', I said.  She went on to tell me I have a kidney stone that is 'just sitting there' and does not need to be addressed, I also have a dialation of the Gallbladder, and Diverticulosis.  I was told we still need to do the Cystoscopy but will now have to do it next week since tomorrow is not an option for the scheduler.  I also was told to call a GI specialist and given a referral.  I called the GI doctor and told them everything my Urologist told me and that I need to see him ASAP.  The doctors nurse argued with me about why I need to see him.  WTF?  I finally about broke down and said 'listen, I am just doing what I was told by Dr S's office'.  So the GI scheduler / nurse said she would call my Urologist / Dr Sandock and find out what or why I need to see the GI doctor.  What a bunch of bullshit.  All this and I am still in pain.  I do not want the Cystoscopy but have no choice since I still have pain.  So I am most likely going to have the Cystoscopy Wednesday morning, early, like at 7 AM.   That should be interesting.  My morning are bad enough.  Figured WTF might as well do it early and get it over right?  This all is getting overwhelming to me.  I did read a bit about Diverticulosis and will keep taking the irritable bowel meds as well as more fiber.  Just drank a big glass of water with two tbs of fiber powder.  Will go tomorrow and buy a pill or something.  Don't like the drinking powder and have little left. 

Just got a call from the GI doctor nurse saying she wants me to get a ultrasound of my gallbladder tomorrow to rule out stones.  Asked if the CT scan would show that and she said no.  No food up to the ultrasound at 1 PM.  Not going to like no food but I can do it. 

So that is where I stand.  Still trying to figure out why I have pain in my prostate area. 

I did go for a nice walk along the river trails today.  Has been a long time and I needed the time to clear my head.  Going to post and log off to clear my head.  Will keep you posted on the tests as they get performed and results are known.

August 11, 2015 Tuesday Dinner Time

After feeling like crap for the last few days ... tired, bloated, the scheduler for the Urologist called me today to tell me they scheduled a CT Scan for Monday and the Cystoscopy the Friday after if nothing is found in the CT scans.   Both CT scans will be done, the one where you drink the liquid and the injectable dye.  I have had both test a while back and I am not looking forward to the one with the injectable dye.  I hate the hot flash feeling you get and feel like your going to die. It only lasts for about a minute, but it is a long minute.  The scheduler did put me at ease about he Cystoscopy because she assured me I would be in a twilight state and not remember a thing.  When I told her I had watched several videos of the procedure she said they tell people not to.  I actually would rather know what is going to happen rather then be surprised.  I don't mind when people tell me the end of a movie because it helps me then follow the plot to the end.  So, by next Tuesday night I should know more about this bloating.  If I don't get a good answer I will have to go through with the Cystoscopy the following Friday.  I am relieved to know I will be slightly under for the Cystoscopy.  I had my colonoscopy and a tooth pulled that way and would do it again.  If I didn't remember a tooth being pulled I am not going to remember them shoving a camera up my penis.  Oh man, just the thought makes me close my legs.

Spent a lot of the day in bed or on the couch.  I did have to get up when the refrigerator repair guy called to say he would be here to replace the door in a half hour.  Guess someone forgot to call me and let me know.  I figured at that point best to get it over with since I had not heard when the medical tests would be at that time.  The refrigerator door got attached but I was told if I call him back in two days and complain about the ice machine and dispenser, which is a problem on this model, he will put me down for getting a new refrigerator.  So I will go that route because I hate the ice dispenser and always more ice falls on the floor than in any glass.

Had an English muffin and some crackers all day today.  Anything I eat or drink makes me bloat.  If I can get myself together for an hour or so I am going to go with Tony to a car show at a local Mc Donald's so I don't have to cook tonight.  Actually can't wait to go to bed tonight and since I was not able to get a nap today I should sleep good. 

So, life still sucks but answers hopefully are coming in the next week or so.  Lets hope.

August 6, 2015 Thursday Afternoon

Finally saw my Urologist today.  Was told I need to schedule a Cystoscopy.  I am not happy and scared to death.  I have not yet made the appointment.  I know I have to.  If anyone has had this scope done please let me know if it is as painful as I am thinking.  Jeez, who gets a scope and camera shoved up their penis?  I watched a video on the Internet and have read many people's stories of their Cystoscopy's.  Experiences range from 'piece of cake' to 'painful as hell'.  I am thinking it has a lot to do with what doctor is doing the procedure.  My doctor has been around for a long long time and considered one of the best.  He did tell me when I asked if it would be painful something like 'I am the pain free doctor'.   I know I am being a big baby and many have it worse.   But this is happening to me.  I keep looking at the phone number but can't bring myself to make the appointment.  The doctor didn't even examine me.  Just listened to what I said.  I think I might also be having a CT scan on that area also since I said my HIV doctor suggested it.  Will find out if I am having both when I finally put on my big boy pants and make the damn appointment.  I did ask to be put as under as possible.  He said he would relax me as much as possible and I wont remember a thing.  Yah right.  Help! anyone had this?

Life since I posted has been up and down.  A good day here, a not so good day there.  Made the mistake of eating some Kettle Popcorn I bought at a festival Saturday only to spend the next few days with bloating and gas.  I still am gassy.  Guess no more popcorn.  When I told the Urologist of this he said that is an entirely different problem.  Jeez.   I did go for a walk down along the river today to clear my head.  It does help.  Asked for a sign from my spirit guide and did not get it.  Was hoping for a sign telling me to make the damn Cystoscopy appointment. 

I did read the response from the last post about seeing another HIV doctor.  I am seriously considering it, but honestly he is the best HIV doctor in Milwaukee.  Maybe the Cystoscopy will find a problem and we can get this solved why I feel like crap every morning for two hours. 

The dogs are doing great. 

This past Tuesday night Tony and I went out for dinner and took Bo with us.  We ate at a restaurant a block away sitting outside.  I had the chicken sandwich, Tony had the steak sandwich.  About half way through dinner Tony stopped talking and had this glassy look on his face.  I asked him if he was choking and got no response,  I then asked again and when I got no response I jumped up, ran behind him, just as he stood up, and gave him the Heimlich maneuver.  On the second push a big piece of steak came flying out.  WTF?  That kinda put a damper on dinner and we took home the rest of our food.  We were the only ones sitting outside and no one else saw this or was there to help.  I was so glad everything I knew from videos and stuff kicked in when I saw him with 'that look' on his face.  I keep teasing him now that his life is mine from this point forward.  LOL. 

Going out for dinner again tonight.  The weather has been finally cool enough, in the 70s, to do things outside.  It was in the 80s for the past 19 days.  Too hot for me.  I decided no cooking this week and we would eat at restaurants outside.  Tonight we will get some 1/2 lb hamburgers for $5.

Going to end this post.  Anyone with knowledge on the Cystoscopy please contact me on here or at my email djones2659@live.com with the header Cystoscopy.