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Sunday, August 30, 2009

August 30, 2009 Sunday Afternoon

Friday afternoon Tony and I skipped lunch with the guys so we could be here for our new tenants moving in upstairs and me home with Stella due to her back right leg injury. Friday afternoon Tony and I took her to the vet and had her examined. Total vet bill today was $350 which included xrays and blood test. The xrays show she needs surgery on her knee, the blood test showed she is healthy enough for surgery. The vet is calling us on Monday after she talks with some other vets as to what kind of surgery is needed and about how much it will cost. Of course Tony is already saying he isn't spending any money, I of course bring him back to reality as to what the alternative is. "Are you going to watch your baby in pain or end her life? The same baby that goes to work with you and protects you at the shop daily?" I am sure it will be in the $1000 range for knee surgery. What else can you do? Barkley is going to have to go in for his $600 teeth treatment soon also. We did win $30 on this weeks lottery tickets, yah! Going to have to take out a small loan for all these dogs.
Went out to dinner at a local bar/restaurant Friday night.

Saturday I sent Tony to McDonalds to get us some breakfast before starting a full day of painting the front of the house. Spent the entire day side by side on two story ladders and not once did we argue or fight. We were very productive. How things have changed. I can say one thing for this diagnosis. Tony and I fight less and pick our battles. We are more forgiving. We don't sweat the small things. I think life is better this way. Saturday night we went out to dinner at a local Italian restaurant and had a less than good meal. It is usually my favorite Italian restaurant. It was off a lot last night. My lasagna was more like lasagna soup. Tony had veal. After telling him how horrible it is of him to have veal and what they do to the lamb I don't think he enjoyed his dinner much either. We took a pain pill each prior to dinner and once we got home we both just were exhausted. Stella has been getting her pain pills since the doctors visit and it has helped her stay down more and not make the knee worse or more painful. We still have to tell her to 'lay down' here and there when she hears someone walk by outside or a noise she wants to find out what it is. It will be worse after the surgery trying to keep her down and not running around. She is a pit bull for heavens sake.

This morning Tony and I got up and out of the house early enough to take his mom out for a nice Sunday morning breakfast. We try to do this every couple weeks. Always fun to exchange family gossip. Was a good day of gossip today. LOL. Got home and just watching some TV wondering what we will do the rest of the day. We both are in pain from all the up and down the ladders all day yesterday. Much less hanging on the the ladder and ledges for dear life so not to fall two stories high. I have to work outside the house Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday will be a bigger day than Monday and very exhausting. I will be putting together the shelving I ordered last week. Ten 8 foot units three feet wide with 5 shelves each. It will be exhausting but feel good. Friday I go in for my next round of blood tests. Time to go to the couch and rest, after spell check of course.

Friday, August 28, 2009

August 28, 2009 Friday Morning

Wednesday I went into work for about 6 hours. Came home pretty exhausted and ordered Jimmy Johns subs for dinner. Had to go in to work and make measurements and plan out the expanding warehouse.

Thursday (yesterday) it was a rainy cool day in Milwaukee. Wanted to go into work but between the shipment coming in after noon and having a vet appointment for Barkley I got my usual Friday morning grocery shopping done after showing the upper apartment to a potential tenant. The apartment is now rented. Two young guys in their 20s. After I told the one guy yesterday they could have the apartment he started moving in immediately. The second guy showed up last night and gave us money and actually spent the night last night up in the apartment. He is moving his stuff in today. Can't wait to find out how his first night was. No bed, so he couldn't have slept great? Seem like 2 nice straight kids. Took Barkley to the vet to find out he has ear infections and we need to treat his skin more often with baths and cleaning to get rid of the sores. The vet is still not completely sure why he has this skin condition. Unfortunately he is the least of my worries right now because Stella (our pit bull) can not walk on her back right leg and is just walking when necessary on three legs. So I made her an appointment at the vet for Friday. Made a meatloaf for dinner and took Stella to bed around 10 PM. She is not a happy dog.

Today I got up around 6:30 AM when I looked around the bedroom to see Tony and Stella gone. Stella was sleeping on a chair in the living room and Tony informed me he has been cleaning up puke all morning. Not good. She is in obvious pain since she maybe moved around the house 4 times all day yesterday. Today she is still walking on three legs and is not happy. She goes to the vet this afternoon at 2:40 PM. Tony and I are skipping our Friday lunch with the guys today so I can stay home and try to keep Stella from trying to walk prior to getting her to the vet this afternoon. I figure the less she moves around the better until we find out what is going on with her. Now if I can just get Vito to stop barking at any noise which in turn makes Stella want to jump off the couch my day will go ok. Tony is going to come home later today and help me get her to the vet since she can barely walk to even go outside and pee. You can just see the discomfort in her eyes. I would give her another doggie pain pill but I have a feeling the one I gave her last night might have been the reason she had stomach problems this morning so I will hold off until the vet says more. Hopefully she needs an anti inflammatory and pain meds and will be fine. I have a feeling this is going to be a slippery expensive slope with xrays and tests. Barkley cost us $150 yesterday and they say he needs a $500-$700 dental treatment very soon also. Sooner rather than later is what we were told. There goes are next vacation plans to the east coast this fall. I am sure this afternoons vet visit will be an expensive one. Cloudy and cool again today in Milwaukee. Have a had time getting my mind going and having an ambition when it is cloudy. This weekend I am going to quit smoking. I know I have said it before but cigs go up in price again next week and it just has to happen. Wish me luck I don't kill Tony or a dog in the process. Have the patch all ready to put on starting tomorrow. Will write again when I know more about Stella. Until then, stay happy.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

August 25, 2009 Tuesday Dinner Time

Woke up this morning and after trying several times to get a hold of my boss I decided to head outside and continue painting. I finished the north side of the second floor today. I am beat. BEAT. I do not like heights and being on a ladder never thrilled me. My finders even hurt from hanging onto the ladder so tight so not to fall from the second floor roof. Glad it is done. Just have the front and half the south side of the house to do yet and then I am finished.

Tony has two BMW's at his shop. My ex's and mine. My ex's got totaled by the insurance agent today. My BMW is repairable since the expense is under $10,000. So I guess Tony will be fixing my BMW and hopefully selling it to my ex to replace his. I am more than happy to drive the GTO he showed me yesterday. Got showered and just waiting for Tony to come home. Not sure which I have more strength for, making dinner or going to a car show and getting some dinner at the show. I am that exhausted. Finally got ahold of my boss later this afternoon and have a project to do tomorrow at the north location and then meeting her at the south location by noon. Will most likely be ordering shelving units for the expanding warehouse at north. Have to map out the rooms and get estimates on how much shelving will cost, then order it for all the product we carry. So long day at work tomorrow. Tony just walked in the door so I better spell check and sign off.

Monday, August 24, 2009

August 24, 2009 Monday Evening

Saturday morning I woke up feeling pretty good. Tony had some shoulder and neck pain from the car accident the day before. I gave him a pain pill and sent him outside to start some painting while I painting some lower areas and did things around the house. He got about 1/2 done painting the north upper side of the house in the day. Saturday night around dinner time we when to the 1st Annual Brew City Bully Club party for pit bulls. It is a group to bring awareness that it is not the breed but the particular dog that can be bad. Not all pit bulls are bad dogs. We ate dinner. Was nice to see so many dogs together having fun not being bad dogs. You could bring your pit bull if you wanted to the party. Gave a donation and headed home after about an hour at the party. Saturday night we watched a bunch of Nurse Jackie episodes that I downloaded and were in bed by 10:30 PM.

Sunday morning I made breakfast which did not turn out very good and I ate about half of it. Over cooked the food. That afternoon we went to the Bristol Renaissance Faire near the Illinois border. Spent the afternoon there and had a good time. Was never there before but since it was 'gay day' that day we went. Many many gay people. I could not believe all the people who work there as well as visitors that had costumes on. Mid evil wear. Watched some shows and bought some gifts. Headed home sometime after 5 PM. Was a nice cloudy day and most of the faire is in the shade with trees and such. Was so welcoming to see most of the booths and stores had small rainbow flags displayed. Also had many rainbow items out to buy. Felt very welcoming and I let management know how great they were to make us gay people feel like it was our day. Good job Renaissence Faire. I would go again if I had a child to enjoy it with, other than that I don't see us going again anytime soon, even though we had a good time. Been there done that now. Was fun just to sit back and watch all the people and their costumes. I bought a hat that looks like the one from Indiana Jones. I will have to have Tony take a pic of me in it and post it.

Today I got up around 6:30 AM and after a few times with the morning news paper (I figured that was better than saying 'on the toilet'), I got myself showered and headed into work for a few hours to put together the Esthiology Steamers that had arrived. Put together all 7 of them. I even took Kali with me to work since I knew I would be working in the boss's office putting them together and she could be by my side. I used to take Kali to work with me when I worked there full time some days. Monday's the place is for the most part closed so it is a good day to bring her. She is very good and always lays by my side or follows me around the huge building as I do things. I was so amazed how today, after not being there for a year, she remembered her way around the place and knew which doors we would be going to. Smart little girl. I also am happy to say I have not had to put ointment in her eye for the past 3 days so I finally feel her eye is better. Thank goodness, didn't need that expense. Got home early this afternoon after picking up Stella at Tony's auto body shop on my way home with Kali. Made myself some tomato soup and was in bed by 1 PM and took a 3 hour nap. I am still trying to get my head together as I type this post. Tony says my new BMW, which I never even drove, will most likely be totaled when the insurance agent comes tomorrow to look at it. Guess the one front headlight alone is around $1500.00. Since the whole front end is smashed it is likely it will be totaled. Not a bad thing. Insurance will give us what we paid since we just bought it. Tony is not unhappy and even brought my next new car home for me to look at. It is a 2004 Pontiac GTO. Black with racing stripes up the hood, top and trunk. I sat in the drivers seat tonight. More than I did with the BMW. I like the bucket seats. Tony says it has more power than I am used to. LOL. He does not drive with me much on the expressway. I am looking forward to 'more power'. Tonight after I finish cooking dinner we will just sit back and enjoy the wonderful Milwaukee weather and TV. Will most likely watch our usual CBS Monday night line up. It has been in the 70s during the day and 50s at night here in Milwaukee. I have to say this has been the most enjoyable summer I can remember. We usually get a few streaks of 90s and we only had one so far this summer. It has been a very comfortable summer. Time to spell check.

Friday, August 21, 2009

August 21, 2009 Friday Night

My new BMW is smashed...............

Thursday afternoon I went to my Client Advisory Board meeting and then came home and did a little fixing of the deck boards on the side deck. Made some canned chili for dinner and went to bed around 10 PM after we finished watching the last episodes of season 4 of Weeds. This morning I got up but since it was a cloudy day I had a very hard time getting going. I went back to bed shortly after Tony left for work and laid in bed until around 10:30 AM. I didn't even do my usual Friday morning grocery shopping because I was so tired. Got up and showered so I was ready for Tony to pick me up and go to lunch with the guys. Had a great lunch with the guys. The food was not as good this time for Tony or I. On the way home from lunch, Tony driving my new BMW, a van pulled out in front of us. He has yet to officially give me the BMW until I quit smoking, so I have not even driven it yet. We were stopped at a red light. The light turned green so we proceeded to go through the intersection just as a van heading the opposite way decided to cut in front of us making a left turn right in front of all the cars going straight through the green light. I yelled Tony's name and in slow motion, brakes squealing, metal crunching, we slammed right into the side of the van. It all happened in slow motion but to fast to do much reacting. The old guy driving the Sta Kleen Janitory van looked like he shouldn't even be driving a car. I was so pissed. Tony took it in stride even though he also ended up getting a ticket because the car has yet to be registered in my name or have plates. Tony has 10 days to get the plates and the ticket will be removed from his record. The van driver got a 'failure to yield to right away' ticket. Already gave my recorded report of the accident to our insurance agent. Not sure if the van driver has insurance since at the time of the accident when the cop asked him he said he couldn't remember what insurance he has. Since he was driving a company van I think we are in good shape. The good news is neither Tony or I were hurt beyond having a little shoulder, neck and back pain. We both also have a low grade headache. I took a pain pill and told the insurance agent we would both go to emergency tomorrow if the pain does not go away. Sucks that my new BWM I never even drove, rode in maybe three times is now smashed. Of course it helps I have a man who works on cars for a living in my back pocket. Tony looks at this as a windfall. LOL. Spent the afternoon just laying around listening to music. Made some TV dinners for supper and now just watching some horror flicks on the Chill network. Nothing good on regular TV tonight. Tony did give Barkley a bath tonight and I dried him, hopefully a bath and this neck cone will help his sores go away. If it doesn't he will have to go back to the vet next week for an antibiotic. Kali's eye looks good today. I put ointment in it first thing this morning and it has been looking good all day. Cross your fingers I don't have to still take her to the vet. I feel like taking up donations for these misfits. They all need teeth cleaning and vet appointments. Thank god no major ailments. If I won the lottery they would all have their teeth cleaned on the same day.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

August 20, 2009 Thursday Morning

Good morning. I am sure for those who read the last post you were wondering if I ended up taking a nap for the afternoon or getting my butt outside to do some painting. Well, hope you put money on the painting because I got up and just started doing it. I got the three first floor side windows scrapped and painting by the time Tony came home. Two coats of paint on all three windows. I then showered again and Tony and I went to a couple of car shows. Two car shows. At least they include getting food since they are usually at fast food restaurants. Yesterday I was suppose to work but the project got postponed so I spent the entire day painting the first floor outside trim along the rain gutters on the north side of the house. Sanded, scrapped and put two coats of paint on it. My hands and fingers are killing me from holding the brush all day. It was my goal to get this part done and I did it. I like getting my goals done. I usually make a list of things I have to get done because I enjoy crossing them off as I accomplish them. After I was done painting I sat outside and watched a baby bird on the ground close to the pond so I locked up the dogs in the house and forced him/her to fly near a tree to hopefully get high enough so my dogs don't eat it. For about a half hour I watched the mother and father try to show this bird how to climb the tree branches. It was so cute. The baby would get a couple feet up and try going to the next branch only to miss and fall back to the ground and have to start over. It finally got high enough so I could let my dogs outside and not fear it would be eaten. Sad part is when I went outside to pick up the dog droppings this morning I had to pick up a dead baby bird. Not sure if it was the same one I watched so lovingly yesterday but it still makes me mad. My dogs seem to like to catch them and once they die they have no interest in them anymore. So sad. They are all wrens or something like that. Nests in the peaks and garages around here. Plus Tony feeds them daily. I feel sometimes like the farmer fattening them up for the kill. This is the 5th or 6th baby I have either had to fish out of the pond or pick off the ground. On this sad note. No sign of my baby bunny in the front yard either. I fear the worst. It has been about a week with no sign of him/her. It must be the one I saw on the street dead. Pisses me off since I fed this poor rabbit since March and watched him grow from a baby to what he was now. So sad. Kali still is having problems with her eye. I keep putting ointment in it but is doesn't seem to be getting better. She is very unhappy when she first wakes up and I have to put something in her eye immediately. Will have to call the vet. This afternoon I have my Advisory Board Meeting with ARCW. Also yesterday received my copy of the physiologist report that I requested. It was a social security doctor I had to go to. Well, what a joke. This report says more about the fact that I was well dressed and didn't have an odor than any of the mistakes in memory and math I KNOW I MADE. Bullshit! The report doesn't even mention any of the mistakes or memory problems and says I am MILDY AFFECTED. Bullshit! I knew this doctor was in social securities pocket. Rainy day in Milwaukee today. OK since I have to go to Home Depot for more paint and then my afternoon meeting. Will write again soon.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

August 18, 2009 Tuesday Noonish

OMG. I honestly can not believe the last time I posted was last Thursday. What the heck was I doing the last 5 days that I didn't post? Not much. My sun rash did go away by the weekend. Had our usual Friday lunch with the guys. The weekend here in Milwaukee was very hot and humid. I do not like hot or humid so we did not do much but watch a lot of TV and nap. Saturday afternoon we watched a Married With Children marathon. Love that show. Always did. Can not think of what we did Saturday night. Thinking nothing. Sunday after making breakfast we went to a car show, ended up going to two car shows since we saw one on the way, yippee. It is together time. Did the car shows early in the day because we knew it would be hot and humid. Spent the afternoon watching movies on Logo channel. (there is a great noon mix going on right now on the radio, Funky Town is playing, haven't heard this song in so long. Before that was a Madonna Get Into the Groove mix) Sorry, got sidetracked. 'Gotta move on, gotta move on........................Funky Town'. Just singing as I type. Sunday late in the day we went to Tony's brother's house for his son's graduation party. Spent a couple of hours with Tony's family which is always interesting if not entertaining. Funny thought I have to share. Prior to going to the graduation which Tony was not thrilled to go to I looked at Tony and said 'just think of all the cute guys that might be at the party that are friends of TJs'. We both looked at each other and before he could say a word I said 'well maybe their parents will be there'. We both still looked at each other doing the math in our heads until I broke the silence saying 'well, maybe their grandparents'. Jeez. When did I get so old? At 48 I could be a grandfather if I started early enough in life. It was a funny moment you had to be here for. Sunday night we watched a little TV before heading to bed.

Monday morning I got up early and went into work for 4 hours. Put the owners office back together after a good carpet cleaning the day prior. Had to get everything off the floor the Thursday before to prepare. It turned out good. Packed up a bunch of merchandise and labeled it. Brought some labels home to make with pictures of clothing that are in the boxes to put on the labels. Went into work today to tape the picture labels to the outside of the boxes. Last night we just watched the usual CBS lineup on TV while I downloaded more episodes of Weeds. I love that show. I would like to get out and do more painting on the house this afternoon but I just do not have the strength. Might have to push myself to do it. I will let you know if it turns out to be a nap instead. Sad news. The rabbit I always see daily that lives under the Cadillac in the front yard has been missing for about 4 days. Sunday I noticed a rabbit dead in the road two blocks down the street. I have a bad feeling. We have never gone this long not seeing the rabbit eating in the front yard. My carrots I leave out for him/her are untouched also. So sad. I will let you know if I see him again.

I got a response from a guy in the UK on my August 5th sex blog. If you are that person please email me at . I would really like to talk more with you.

Until we meet again. Be nice to yourself and others.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

August 13, 2009 Thursday Night

Wow, where did this week go? I worked every day this week at least 5 or more hours. Got home each day and was exhausted. Yesterday I got home and laid on the bed for what I thought would be a 1/2 hour rest to wake up an hour or so later totally still tired and in a fog. Was half way into a cup of coffee when Tony got home. I didn't even hear him come in the door.
Kali's eye is doing much better. I only put ointment in it this morning. I don't think it will need any more. She is doing good. Next one is going to be Stella who is having hip problems and problems walking when she is laying down for any length of time. She is only about 7 or 8 years old. To young to have arthritis I hope. A vet visit will mean xrays and tests. Not in the budget right now. Hopefully it will not get worse soon. I do massage her hip and leg during the day. Tomorrow I am not going into work. Will do some grocery shopping in the morning and then lunch with the guys. I am actually looking forward to a long long nap tomorrow afternoon. Will write again soon. Guess life is getting pretty close to what was 'normal'. It is starting to feel that way. I feel I am at about 75%.

Monday, August 10, 2009

August 10, 2009 Monday Late Afternoon

Itchy rash all over my arms, shoulders and neck.

This morning I got up and out of the house by 8:30 and was to work by 9 AM. I put in 4 hours filing and taking care of challenges. Got home and did a little around the house before taking Kali back to the vet to see what is wrong with her eye. $115 dollars later she like I thought, scratched her eye most likely with a toe nail. Had to put die in her eye and look with a purple light to see the scratch. Nice big scratch along the bottom of her eye ball. Could see it well. The vet gave me more of the antibiotic ointment I had been putting in her eye all weekend and told me I was doing all that could be done. She hopefully will be better in a week. So sad to see her looking at me with her left eye closed. Poor girl. She won't leave my side when I am at home. She loves her daddy. Had to call my mom and Tony and tell them once again I was correct that something was not right with her. I keep telling Tony 'I know my dogs'. He seems to think all is well as long as he doesn't look at the problem or challenge. Dropped Kali off at home and drove to Walgreen's to talk to the pharmacist about my rash and see what he thinks. Pharmacist told me to take Benadryle and Hyrocotiosone ointment and hopefully it will get better. He said it is most likely a reaction to the meds and sun. Guess I can not go in the sun at all without sun block anymore for any length of time. FUCK. One more thing taken away from me and I have to do. I hate having AIDS and taking these meds. My skin itches so bad it feels like poison ivy or something. This frickin heat outside is not helping since it makes me sweat and then itch more. Making Lasagna (frozen) for dinner. You didn't really think I could make it from scratch did you? I did once or twice but it is a lot of work. Just typing the word scratch made me itch. Have to show the apartment tonight around 7 PM and then it will be a night on the couch with the dogs and the CBS lineup trying not to scratch my skin. I feel like it is crawling on me. Horrible feeling. Last time this happened if I remember it lasted about a week. I think it was when we went to a car show in the sun all day. I will have to go back and check my blog and see how long the last time this happened it lasted. I know it was from being in the sun at the motorcycle festival on and off all day Saturday. I did not put any sun screen on because it was mostly cloudy. Guess it don't matter clouds or not, either sun screen or shade. Tomorrow I will go in and work about 4 hours again. Seems to be my limit. After about 4 hours I feel myself having to 'push' more to do anything before resting. Did I mention how much my neck, shoulders and arms itch! I am about to go nuts from the itching. The Benadryle better kick in soon.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

August 9, 2009 Sunday Morning

Hot, Humid and Horrible. That is all I can say about today's weather.

Friday night we went to lunch with the guys and had an enjoyable lunch as always. Friday night after Tony got home from work I ordered pizza and we were in bed by 10 PM. Kali again is not well. All of a sudden Friday night around 7 PM she jumped off the couch from sitting next to me and started going nuts scratching her left side of her head against the floor. She was making little noises also so I knew something was not right. She would not open her left eye. She either must have gotten something in it or scratched it with her nails. I have some eye antibiotic ointment and tear stimulator drops I immediately started putting in her eye. I know from past experience from other dogs scratching their eyes that there is not much that can be done but drops and an antibiotic till it heals. She was not happy all night and slept on my pillow with her head touching mine. Saturday I put ointment in during the course of the day and although she does not want to open it she is not trying to scratch it either. Today is much the same. If it is not better by Monday she will go to the vet again. Poor thing. Old age is not being kind to her. She is my special girl and I always tell her if there was a fire I would grab her first. Of course I never let the other dogs hear me tell her that and I say much the same to them. LOL.

Saturday on the attached road to our house on Center Street there was a Rockerbocker Motorcycle block party that stretched out to 5 blocks. Over a thousand motorcycles old and new. Some very old. We went up to it several times during the day coming home briefly in between due to the heat. Close to 90 degrees and humid most of the day. Thank god we are by Lake Michigan because it gave a bit of relief being so close to the lake. Had lunch and dinner at the festival. Was a nice day in spite of the heat. Was nice to stay close to home all day yet get out and see all the hot motorcycle guys. My eyes hurt by the end of the day.

Today it is already so frickin hot out I don't even want to think about going outside. I did run to Walmart to try to pick up an item for work. Of course they did not have it at the Walmart here by my house. I do not like Walmart that much and feel I need a shower after I get back due to the customers. I have a very bad ichy rash today on my arms and shoulders from being out in the sun yesterday. Even though it was cloudy most of the day, it was hot, and I did put a muscle shirt on later in the day. Big mistake. Today my shoulders and arms have red blotches and itch like hell. I think it is from the Atripla? Others have told me they have the same problem and can no longer go out in the sun. In a little while my parents are coming into town to give Tony and I a coffee table they are replacing with a new one. Their old one is new to us and in perfect condition. We will then go out to lunch and smile pretending nothing is wrong with my health. Have to watch everything I say in moments like these. If I make the mistake of mentioning a meeting or something it then leads to what type of meeting and such. Not easy sometimes to hold a conversation and have to watch every word that comes out of your mouth. Can not even mention the rash. Had to hide a few meds and business cards I had around the house. Also covered the back calender so they don't see the 'HIV meeting' stickers on the calendar. These are the things I am talking about when having to watch who you tell or say what to. After we get the furniture and go to lunch I am sure they will be on their way back to Oconomowoc and we will just lay around the rest of the afternoon. TOO HOT TO DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE. I hate this heat. Monday is suppose to be much the same. YUCK.

Friday, August 7, 2009

August 6, 2009 Friday Morning

Happy Friday morning. On this day in history: 9 years ago today I euthanized my first dog Shadow. She is the black Pomeranian in the pictures on the side bar. She was the first dog I ever had to personally make that dreaded decision to end her life. I remember the weeks leading up to it and the day and days afterwards. I cry every time I think how she should never have been put down that day by the quack doctor that did it. He was new that day, never met him, and just kinda made the decision before Tony and I had a chance to take her to a specialist for her coughing. I also was not very kind to her in her last two weeks. Tony and I were under a lot of stress at the time and should have handled the whole thing differently. She was 12 1/2 years young. I have always said if I had the chance to change a couple things in my life one would have been how Shadow was euthanized and her final weeks. I sure hope she forgave me for my lack of compassion in her final weeks when she needed me most. I was not a good daddy and still regret to this day.

One year ago today I was fired from the job I had held for 4 1/2 years. As you all know I am back working for the owner on a limited basis. The months after this firing I am sure took a toll on my health and helped get me to where I was at Christmas time and then the dreaded AIDS diagnosis in January. Thank goodness I am not bitter. LOL

Wednesday night Tony and I went to Phantom of the Opera. It was good. Never saw it before. Not sure I would see it again. But it was entertaining. Thursday I put in about 5 hours at work on the computer and helping people with challenges. Got some money for my July hours which was very much needed due to no rent this month from the upstairs rental. Money is a little tight this month. Sure hope I find a tenant soon. Made a big dinner last night of rice, green beans and pot roast. This morning Tony and I have spent more time on the toilet than on the couch watching the morning news. Maybe this is a sign I should not cook? Yah, I can go with that. I will have to tell Tony that tonight when we order out. Suppose to get some big thunder storms tonight so I am looking forward to staying home and enjoying them. I usually go grocery shopping on Friday mornings but with the bowel pain and just feeling crappy today I think I will not go shopping. Hopefully I will feel better by lunch so Tony and I can have lunch with the guys. Since we missed last Friday's lunch because of the carpet installation I am looking forward to the laughs. We always laugh and have such a good lunch every Friday with the guys. Suppose to be in the 90s Saturday thru Monday. YUCK. Guess we will be catching up on weeks worth of Weeds and Nurse Jackie I have been downloading. I made a new dance megamix the other day. It has a lot of the already mixed music but in a different version and a few new songs. Check it out. It is at the top of this page.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

August 5, 2009 Wednesday Sex Post

The following post is about sex. So, if you do not want to read about gay sex, skip this post.

I wasn't sure if I was going to share this but since I promised to be honest and direct with my life here it goes. I am so mad at myself and Tony. More at myself, but still at Tony. As I have mentioned in earlier posts Tony and my sex life consists of me giving him oral sex while I masturbate. It is satisfying to both of us. We have discussed the risks and since it is the less risky sex we both have felt comfortable continuing. Shortly after the beginning of the year Tony developed a small sore on his penis. The doctor said this was due to the thrush in my mouth at the time and that an antibiotic ointment and holding off for a while would be the best solution. It is nothing but a fungus type infection. Not any other sexually transmitted disease. We followed the doctors orders and by April or May all was clear again and we continued. Now that you have a little background.......... The other night we were having sex when in the middle of oral sex I noticed Tony once again had a small sore on his penis. Same spot, near the lip of the head. Of course I stopped and pointed it out to Tony. He blew it off as no big deal and had me continue. I reluctantly continued. After the sex I felt horrible about this and was so mad that myself or him didn't had enough control to just STOP the act. Can sex be that important that we would risk his or my life over it? We didn't talk for about an hour until I went into the bedroom where he was still laying on the bed. I brought up the discussion about how I felt about us being so stupid and careless and told Tony I would never again give him oral sex if he has a sore on his penis. I know HIV can not be transmitted through saliva but I also know it can be transmitted if I had a sore in my mouth to his sore on his penis through blood. How stupid could we be? Tony like I said showed no concern and still doesn't. I on the other hand am so mad at myself because it would kill me if some day Tony turned up HIV+ due to me. I share this with you so that others not only can see my faults, but also how a couple together over 20 years deals with the fact when one is HIV+ and the other is HIV-. I share this to show we are all just human and make mistakes and risky decisions even though we should know better. Any comments positive or negative, or personal experiences would be helpful and appreciated. If anyone can share their stories in a similar situation it would help me and others. If you do not feel comfortable posting a response here please email me at

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

August 4, 2009 Tuesday Night

Monday morning I was up early and out the door by 9 AM to put in some hours at work. Left work about 1 PM and what should be a half hour drive home turned into an hour and a half drive home due to an accident on the expressway and no way to get off but one lane closing the expressway on an off ramp. Picked up Stella at Tony's shop and came home and played around on my laptop for the afternoon trying to figure out a way to open xlsx files. I can not open them on my desktop due to the old software. I can open them on my laptop but it is a demo/trial version and only good for a little bit more time. Anyone got a version of Works Office for Visa they can send me? Made a little dinner and Tony and I were in bed by 9 PM watching TV. Fell asleep soon after and turned off the TV sometime during the night. We were both so tired. Hope the dogs enjoyed the TV while we slept. Turned on the central air conditioning today due to it getting a bit humid.

Today it was humid again until the wind shifted about noon and came off lake Michigan cooling things off. Turned off the air this afternoon. I think it will stay off until this weekend. Suppose to be in the 90s this weekend. Humid. Too hot and humid for me. Have a few things on our list but if it is too humid and hot I will be spending the weekend indoors with the air on. Got Stella at Tony's shop around noon today due to him having no help and didn't need a dog on his hands also just holding down the fort. Took a longer than expected nap this afternoon and then made spaghetti for dinner. After dinner we went to the usual Tuesday night car show at Harley Davidson Museum. They are getting very boring. Tony still enjoys them and since we have very little else to do, it is something, and it is together time. So what could be so bad, right? Wednesday I have a meeting and a prospective tenant coming to see the apartment prior to us going to see Phantom of the Opera at the PAC here in Milwaukee. It is the Broadway version of it. Never seen any version. God, please let it not be opera. I don't do opera and will not stay for the whole thing if it is. I guess there are different versions around of it so we will see. I like musicals, not opera. It was part of the season passes we bought. Not much else to report. Just keeping busy around the house. Had a little break down this morning cursing myself for getting AIDS but pulled myself out of it within an hour. Sometimes I just get so mad that I wasn't 'one of the lucky ones' like I had thought all these years.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

August 2, 2009 Sunday Night

Friday was a busy frustrating day. The tenants had to be out by 2 PM so the new carpet could be installed. About noon the carpet guys called and said they were on their way. I told him we agreed on a 2 PM time and the tenants were still cleaning and moving stuff out. Of course he said he was coming anyway and would wait. Since having a confrontation earlier in the week with the tenants I thought it best to call Tony home and have him break the news they need to pick up the pace. Tony did come home and waited until the carpet guys got started before I sent him back to work and my panic was gone. It took all afternoon to install the carpet. All the banging and pounding upstairs kept the four dogs barking for 4 hours straight. I could have strangled each one of them by 5 PM when the carpet guys left. It turned out very nice. The tenants returned and spent the night finishing the cleaning. I during the course of the day finished the painting, cleaned every window inside and out including storms, cleaned the ceiling fans and globes, and basically helped get the apartment done. I updated the web sight with new pictures of the empty apartment as it stands now, check it out at:
I think I did a great job with the colors, painting and cleaning? Friday night Tony and I stayed home and cooked burgers on the grill and some rice. We went to bed by 10 PM we were both so tired.

Saturday we did a little more cleaning and fixing of the upper apartment until about noon. After than we walked two blocks up the road to a fund raiser for a 21 year old that was shot on the way home about 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately there have been to many shootings in the neighborhood lately. Was a very very nice fund raiser. Must have been over 20 family members running the food, raffles and such. We talked with a couple family members letting them know how bad we all in the neighborhood feel and how it could have been any of us. I cried a bit talking with the mother. We got home around 4 PM and took a nap. Ordered some food for delivery and went to bed around 10:30 PM.

This morning we were both up early and read the Sunday newspaper. I then made pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Showered and drove the the corner grocery store to buy some fruit and milk for the week since I was not able to go on Friday like I usually do. Tony cleaned the tenants washer and dryer while I went grocery shopping. We spent the after noon at the Racine County Fair with friends from my HIV group and lunch. We had a great time. Spent a couple hours walking around eating before going to the grandstands for the demo derby. Watched two rounds before it was getting time to go home to the dogs and feed them. Got home around 5:30 PM. I have gotten a couple responses on the ad and sign out front for the apartment. Hate this bullshit. A girl was to be here about 6:30 PM to see it. It is now going on 8 PM so I guess she is a no show. If she calls from this point out she already has a strike against her. Screening the next tenants is never fun. Tony says this time HE is picking the tenants. Monday I have to go back and put in some hours at work. Enjoyed having last week off. Not as excited as in the past about going back again tomorrow.

Dogs. Kali is doing great. Back to her old self. Stella needs to go to the vet this week because she has been limping on her back right leg. I think it might be arthritis but being the good daddy I am, I have to have it checked. More money for the vet.