Visit My Other Web Page:

Friday, November 11, 2016

November 11, 2016 Friday Afternoon

It has been quite a hard week. 

I finally last week saw a licensed psychologist that thought I really could be helped with an anti depressant.  I am so hesitant to go on one not only because of the stigma when you tell any doctor your meds and include and anti depressant as well as the side effects I know come with them.  I have been on them twice in the past and was not happy with the results.  Over 15 or more years ago.
I said I would give it a try since I would not be sitting in her office if I didn't know something was just not right.  She put me on Venlafaxine.  Started me on a half pill twice a day so that is 12.5 mg each dose for a total of 25 mg a day.  I eventually would be up to 75 mg a day which at this point kind of scares me.  I say this because this morning, being the fourth day on the meds I honestly thought I was freaking out.  Had a bad panic attach this morning after listening to the news.  Now this all might be because of this election which scares the hell out of me. 
I am under review for social security for AIDS.  I could loose my social security and that would make me have to buy healthcare through the Affordable Healthcare Law which Trump has vowed to dismantle.   So I could be without health insurance very soon.  Meds are about $2000 a month for my AIDS. 
I could also be considered a second class citizen because Trump has also vowed to make our marriage null and void.  All this has cause me so much stress I have eaten very little all week.  Slept very little all week.  Have had a huge fight with Tony.  And cause me to break down several times.
The huge fight with Tony is due to me seeing a councilor also the past few weeks.   As I talk to her and tell her things I am surprised how I have settled and honestly how sad our marriage has gotten.  We don't talk much, at least he doesn't.  When I ask Tony 'How was your day', I get "Fine"  "How was yours".  Unless I then tell him anything that happened that is it for conversation lately.  Passion?
What is that?   I told Tony this morning I feel more like roommates than husbands lately.  
What started this was the other night when I bought Tony his plate of supper like I usually do, he a little while later spilled some of his crystal light on himself and looked at me and snapped 'if you can't bring me my plate of food with a napkin, don't bring me my damn plate of food'.  I was shocked.  I looked at him and asked him what he said and he repeated it.  I than looked him in the eye and told him I would never never never bring him a plate of food ever again.  I am not his waiter or servant.  What shocked me the most was how he looked and sounded like his father and that is not a good thing.  We fought all night and have said little to each other until this morning when I told him how unhappy I was with our marriage and suggested counseling for the both of us.
So long story short, my life is a mess, but I am getting help.
The six dogs are all doing good.  I do walk them at least once a day, most days twice.  Morning and late afternoon.  That is a lot of walking because I take them one at a time a few times around the block.  My grandma swore walking kept her alive until 98 and I believe it was a factor.  Keep moving.
The weather has been warmer than usual and I will not be happy with Winter does finally get her.
If anyone has any experience taking the anti depressant Venlafaxine I would love to hear if it worked or any concerns you had.


  1. I thought about you the day after the election figuring you'd be gutted. It is a terrible result. I've always thought Tony sounds like a selfish vile pig who is using you. If he said that to me, I'd either through the plate at him or get it and smash it in his face. You're better off alone. No one needs that. Also to be honest, I think you've screwed yourself. 6 dogs is beyond ridiculous, it is actually irresponsible. You did have a choice. You did not have to take them all. Just because you see a stray, does not mean you have to keep it. Also you should think about how imposing all these new dogs you are collecting affects the dogs you already have. A couple of times I almost added another one, to my one. But thought no, it would upset my current one too much, and he has to come FIRST! I think you need to put yourself, your health and your own needs first. I genuinely believe you should put at least half of your dogs up for adoption and if that doesn't work, to kennels. Forget their 'ersonality', YOU need to worry about you. 6 dogs, each around the block (not even two per walk? Why not? If they don't get along, hello, that is a sign you shouldn't introduce new dogs all the time, it is not fair at all on the originals), so but absolutely f*cking ridiculous! That is beyond a joke. And what happens if you and Tony break up? What dog/s go where/with whom? How will you live on only disability, with these 6 dogs you've collected? Sorry but you don't seem to actually think ahead. You really, for your own sake, have to stop collecting these dogs, an put half of them in the pound or up for adoption. You might not have a choice soon. Your dog habit situation is way out of control, especially with your marital situation. Get rid of most of those dogs! Good luck.

  2. Hi Friends I have launch New website special for Aids Day 2016 and World HIV Day Please check HIV Aids and also Aids Ribbon with some Aids Awareness Day Images
    Aids Day 2016

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. There's nothing wrong with having HIV!!! Why would you want to suggest a specific HIV dating site? People with HIV can date people without herpes!!! No disrespect but in my opinion this sort of specifics only promotes discrimination and alienation
    as a result!!... Just another way of exploiting someone else's lack of confidence really .
    Hiv Positive Dating Sites
    suggest you the Best HIV positive dating sites of 2017, you can go along with them by considering their activity, privacy , policies and safety features.

  7. You not alone”, this should be the message that is made clear to those living with HIV, YES there is a world of those living with HIV and those without that are willing to lend a helping hand especially to those that have been recently diagnosed with HIV as they are the most vulnerable. Hiv Positive Dating Sites
    suggest you the Best HIV positive dating sites of 2017, you can go along with them by considering their activity, privacy , policies and safety features.

  8. Hiv disease for the last 3 years and had pain hard to eat and cough are nightmares,especially the first year At this stage, the immune system is severely weakened, and the risk of contracting opportunistic infections is much greater. However, not everyone with HIV will go on to develop AIDS. The earlier you receive treatment, the better your outcome will be.I started taking ARV to avoid early death but I had faith in God that i would be healed someday.As a Hiv patent we are advise to be taking antiretroviral treatments to reduce our chance of transmitting the virus to others , few weeks ago i came on search on the internet if i could get any information on Hiv treatment with herbal medicine, on my search i saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from Hiv her name was Achima Abelard and other Herpes Virus patent Tasha Moore also giving testimony about this same man,Called Dr Itua Herbal Center.I was moved by the testimony and i contacted him by his We chatted and he send me a bottle of herbal medicine I drank it as he instructed me to.After drinking it he ask me to go for a test that how i ended my suffering life of Hiv patent,I'm cured and free of Arv Pills.I'm forever grateful to him Drituaherbalcenter.Here his contact Number +2348149277967...He assure me he can cure the following disease..Hiv,Cancer,Herpes Virus,Epilepsy,Hepatitis,Parkinson disease.Diabetes,Fibroid...

  9. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony.. I was HERPES positive for 3years and all the means i tried fortreatment was not helpful to me, but when i came on the Internet i saw great testimony about DR Umagbai on how he waable to cure someone from HERPES, and any disease this person said great things about this man, and advice we contact him for any problem that DR Umagbai can be of help, well i decided to give him a try, he requested for my information which i sent to him, and he told me he was going to prepare for me a healing portion, which he wanted me to take for days, and after which i should go back to the hospital for check up, well after taking all the treatment sent to me by DR Umagbai i went back to the Hospital for check up, and now i have been confirmed HERPES Negative, friends you can reach DR Umagbai on any treatment for any Disease, reach him on whatsapp number +2348051122286 he's waiting to help if you have any problems..
    1) want your ex back.
    2) You always have nightmares.
    3) To be promoted in your office
    4) Do you want a child.
    5) You want to be rich.
    6) you want to keep your husband / wife for you alone forever.
    7) Do you want to be in control of that marriage
    8) Do you want to be attracted to people
    9) The lack of children
    10) needs a husband / wife
    16) cure for any disease.
    EMAIL (