January 30, 2015 Friday Morning

Spent most of this week working on a video project.  I figured out how to transfer my VHS tapes to the computer in MP4 format so I can watch them anytime.  I figure if I put all the years of video on my flash drive or laptop I will always have them to view if I am in the hospital someday.  Plus who has a VHS player anymore?  Been fun watching the video on the screen as it transfers to the computer.  It is a slow process.  A 2 hour VHS tape takes the 2 hours to transfer onto the computer and then another two hours for it to process the video into MP4 format.  Since I have about 12 tapes to transfer I am about half done.  I figure Tony and I will start watching them on Friday nights, starting tonight, one tape each Friday.  Since we have been together over 25 years it is fun to see how we and everything has changed.  Seeing Tiny and Shadow, my Poms, and all the other dogs makes me cry happy tears.  I figure once I get all the VHS tapes transferred I will throw away the VHS tapes for good. 

Last weekend we binge watched Transparent.  The entire 10 episode first season of the show.  Great show and very recommended.  I thought being gay was hard.  Being trans is a total mind fuck because of the people around you.  Find a way to watch it on Amazon.com.  We also have watched Boyhood and Pit Stop.  Boyhood was very good.

My mom is still in rehab from her back surgery.  It did not go as well as she expected and is not happy she is in so much pain over a week after the surgery.  Dad is having issues now too with his heart because of all the stress.  They are both getting old, 80 and 78 and I fear the end is near.  I have no clue how I will ever handle my parents deaths.  WOW.  

The dogs are all doing great.  I decided to have Kali's blood tested to see if she is strong enough to get her teeth cleaned one last time.  They are horrible but she is 15 1/2 years old.  It is risk I am willing to take since I have a feeling she will live a couple more years and will hate myself then if I don't do something now about her teeth.  I try to brush them and they bleed.  It is not pretty.  Tony was against it and I finally just made him get a flash light and look in her mouth.  I then looked him square in the eye and said 'you really don't think she needs the cleaning?'.   It will happen if the blood test comes back good.  If she died on the table, it would be something I have considered and could live with.  Heck, what a way to go.  No pain and not knowing. 

Not much else going on which is good.  My shoulders hurt from the stress of my parents and life.  I can't imagine what the pain would be like if I had 'real' stress.  I seem to create my own stress.  I did also get the book I ordered named God Is My Ketchup.  I hope to start reading it next week.  A follower recommended it.

The sun is out today but it is only 20 degrees.  I wish Summer or even Spring would get here.  I am so tired of Winter and the cold.  Haven't had a lot of snow, just a lot of cold.

January 20, 2014 Tuesday Afternoon

Not much has happened of interest since I last posted.  I did have a scheduled dental cleaning today at ARCW, our AIDS Resource Center here in Milwaukee, that I set up six months ago.  Got there for my 9 AM appointment and after 10 minutes waiting was told my appointment was canceled, someone should have called me, and the reschedule date is in April.  It is hard for me to get to an appointment at 9 AM and was not happy.  I did pick up my monthly prescriptions and food at the pantry.  Of course being closed yesterday they had no bread out for the taking.  I can usually grab a months worth of bread products for Tony and myself, as well as a slice for the rabbits each night outside.  Will have to go back later this week or next to grab some bread.  Since it was cloudy and only 30 degrees today I had no energy when I got home and spent the day doing very little.  I did manage to give Rose a bath since Tony brought her home from work at lunch with dirty legs and paws from her walk with her Uncle Tom.  Tom still goes to the shop most mornings and takes Rose for a walk.  My back now hurts from this bath which is why I usually have Tony give them their baths.  I just don't have the strength in my back for these 'bend over' things and I pay afterwards.  Speaking of back, my mom is having major back surgery tomorrow morning.  I pray it goes well because my father will pay the price in the end taking care of her. 

The dogs are doing great.  I still need to make an appointment for Kali to see the vet for her old age, and various issues.  Her tumor under her neck is getting so big it is making it hard for her to breath at night when she sleeps.  She is too old to have it removed so all we can do is watch, wait, and when we feel her quality of life is no longer here, do the humane thing and euthanize her.  She still is a happy girl going on 16 years old this Summer.

I still have been walking on the treadmill almost daily.  Only did a mile today versus 2 miles because of the dental appointment and just low energy today.  I hope it is the lack of sun rather than getting sick.  So many people are sick and I hope I don't get it.   

Time to get in the kitchen and start supper.  Wish I had more energy.  Cup of coffee did not help.

January 14, 2015 Wednesday Afternoon

Had my six month appointment with my HIV doctor this afternoon to get my latest blood results and talk about any problems and med changes going forward.  My CD4 count increased to 630 from 581.  It is also an all time high for my CD4 count.   My percentage was 27 which is down from last blood test, but in the scheme of things, didn't change much and just good that my CD4 count is still increasing.  I am also still undetectable.  Also mentioned the minor problems I have been having lately:  My left underarm feels like something is swollen or not right, my right rotary cuff on my arm hurts when I do extreme things, and the tingling in my feet and hands a couple times a day.  At times I have to shake my wrists and move my fingers to get the tingling to stop.  Doctor asked if it is constant, I told him maybe just a couple times a day, the feet tingling being worse.  Will monitor this.  Also told him I am getting a little scared about my memory.  I last weekend tried to tell Tony the address book was under the candle and kept saying calendar instead of candle.  I was looking right at the candle, but calendar kept coming out of my mouth.  It was notable at this point and worth telling the doctor about.  Got my next blood test scheduled for end of June and see my HIV doctor again in July.  I did mention to him that I have a new regular practice doctor and that I did not feel totally comfortable with her.  My HIV doctor said he did not know much about her and if we need to find someone different we can do that in the future.  Hopefully I won't have to see a doctor for anything and it won't be an issue?  I did not like the way my new doctor questioned, judged, and then cut my usual prescription of pain pills down to nothing.   I have enough for now but I will not beg for pain pills when I have pain that regular over the counter meds do not take care of.  I could ruin my liver.  I take the pain meds as needed.  Time will tell.

Got the final paperwork yesterday that Rose and Casper are officially Tony and mine.  The rescue we got them from sent us the signed paperwork.  I was so happy I was in tears for a while of the day.  I guess I just am so proud of what I did and how far these dogs have come.  They would not be here today, not together, if we had not stepped up to foster them both.  I just am so glad it all worked out so well.  I look at the both of them and still smile and tear up at the same time.  I know there are so many more just like them that die each day because no one takes them in and people treat animals like garbage.  I get Facebook feeds from the rescues daily and every morning catching up on the feeds I am in tears.  Always a heartbreaking story or two.  Today's was about a Pit Bull tossed out of a car in NY and then the driver backed over the dog to kill it and drove away.  WTF?  The dog had serious bite wounds and was a bait dog and died.  That is not fair.  How can a God let this kind of suffering of pets and humans happen? 

Making a couple TV dinners for supper tonight.  Tony was home for lunch and we had chicken dumpling soup and a sandwich I bought at the deli this morning.  I still have been walking my two miles on the treadmill every day.  Today I picked up the speed a bit.  I feel so good after I do the treadmill.  I have not lost any weight but I feel better so that is good.  Since I have not really changed my diet yet I can't complain about no weight loss.  I will in time.  The working out has helped the uncomfortable thing under my left arm.  It feels about half as uncomfortable now.  I had my HIV doctor check today and he also could not feel anything inflamed or out of place.  I honestly think it is a fat tumor and I just need to loose some weight because it is pressing against my nerves.  Hoping the tingling is also from this. 

Still cold in Milwaukee.  We are suppose to get above freezing for a day this weekend.  Will feel like a heat wave since it has been close to zero a lot of days this month.

Happy my blood tests for my HIV came back still improving.  Hopefully that means I have a lot of years left in me.

January 8, 2015 Thursday Afternoon

Frigid cold and snow today.

It is the middle of the afternoon and the thermometer says it is zero degrees outside.  It also has been snowing for a couple hours and when it is all done later today I will have about 3 or more inches of snow to shovel.  I usually don't mind shoveling the snow unless it is like now..... very cold.  I will bundle up good and get it done.

Have done very little in the past week outside the house.  It honestly has been so cold her in Wisconsin leaving the house just doesn't sound like a good idea if you don't have to.  I only had to take the two small dogs in to the vet on Tuesday and had Tony pick us up with a warm car.  Thought we were just getting a nail trim on both.  Ended up having to see the doctor for Vito since it has been over a year and she made sure we walked out paying $350 in vet bills for blood tests and such.  Thank goodness for Tony or I could not afford these costs.  Since we went grocery shopping on Sunday I didn't have to leave the house to even do that this week.  Have spent every day this week continuing to clean the basement and sorting out item for trash or sold, or keep.  I also have made a point to walk on the treadmill 2 miles a day since last posting.  I don't mind the exercise and feel so good after.  It is just a matter of getting it going. 

My shoulder / left under arm situation has not changed.  It has not gotten any worse, but I still feel like something is inflamed or in my under arm that should not be there.  It is uncomfortable but not really painful.  Will address it with my HIV doctor when I see him mid week next week. 

The snow keeps falling.  Looks pretty outside but not looking forward to the cold when I go out to shovel.

January 2, 2015 Friday Afternoon

Spent New Years at home.  Was happy to just stay home since it was very cold in Milwaukee.  Our neighbor did come over early in the evening and we drank a bottle of wine watching a Chelsea Handler special.  New Years Day we only left the house to take Rose, Casper and Bo on a walk to the dog park with Uncle Tom.

I have been riding the thread mill in the basement every day since my last post.  I must admit I feel great after I do the work out.  Today I even did two miles.  Hopefully sometime in the future two miles will seem like nothing.

As promised, my top favorites for 2014:

Best Moments to remember in 2014:
Tony and my Wedding in Skokie Illinois on March 21, 2014
Adopting Rose and Casper on May 22, 2014
Brew City Bully Club Event on February 22, 2014 with my sister
November 22, 2014 the first day all five dogs were together for the first time
Christmas Day watching Casper, Rose and Bo play in the dog park

Music in 2014:
David Guetta - Listen CD
Olly Murs - Never Been Better CD
Ariana Grande - My Everything CD
Calvin Harris - Motion CD
Taylor Swift - 1989 CD
Jessie J - Sweet Talker CD

TV Shows in 2014:
Getting On
Homeland
American Horror Story
Stalker
Bates Motel
Pit Bulls and Parollees
Walking Dead

Movies in 2014:
Snowpiercer
Gone Girl
Dallas Buyers Club (Gay)
The Normal Heart (Gay)
Pride (Gay)
Burning Blue (Gay)
Truth (Gay)