May 25, 2010 Tuesday Morning

Typing with one hand and in a lot of pain.

Yesterday morning after Tony left for work I began working outside on the deck again making a covering for the top deck. About 2 hours into the project I was standing on the top step of the 8 foot ladder when it slipped out from under me and I fell hard. I fell to the deck and on top of the ladder. I laid there for a while in pain and then crawled to the telephone to call Tony at work and ask him to come home. He raced home to find me on the floor, bleeding, cut, and in a lot of pain laying on the floor on a blanket. The first thing I said to him with all the blood was 'don't touch me'. I felt like I was going to pass out. I was in so much pain I stayed on the floor for about an hour. We contemplated calling an ambulance or going to emergency. Tony wanted to take me to emergency. I simply kept thinking if I go to emergency the first thing I will have to tell them is that I am HIV+. That alone made me not want to go. I fell right on my left wrist and my hand and wrist swelled up to the point where I still can not move my fingers or wrist much a day later, and the pain is horrible. I hope I did not break my wrist. Since I can move it slightly I think in time it might be ok. Time will tell. I spent the rest of the day on the couch taking pain pills and Motrin. I can not use or move my left arm or hand at all because of the pain. Went to bed around 10 PM and had a horrible night since I could not find a way to sleep with the pain from my side, legs, arm and wrist.

This morning I woke up in pain. I am black and blue on my side, legs and arms, and my wrist still can not move much. The pain is bad. I still might find myself going to a doctor just in case I broke something. It is very hard to do anything with one hand. Going to take another round of pain pills to get through the morning today. I think I also hurt my shoulders and neck in the fall because I am very stiff in that area today.

I have to comment on a comment from Sunday's post about not going out for a nice dinner for our anniversary. Although it is unfortunate we did not go out for a nice celebration. I have to compare it to a Birthday. As you get older, they do not mean the same. Would I have liked to go out for a nice dinner if we didn't have the kid - yes. But with that said, hopefully this weekend we will. If I had a choice of spending time with my nephew for the weekend or going out for an anniversary dinner, I would choose the nephew. The opportunity does not arise often for us to have him, we can celebrate and go out for a dinner any night now that he is home at his house. So as much as I appreciate the concern for us not celebrating, it is not the end of the world and more important things in life. It does not lessen the relationship or love in any way. Much less, it is not one dinner or celebration that 'makes' the relationship, it is the long term time and trued love that continues. Tony was home in a flash yesterday to help me after I called him after the fall from the ladder. He took good care of me as I laid on the floor in pain. He got me ice, cold compresses and was very concerned to the point of wanting to take me to emergency. It is times like yesterday that makes me glad I have him, not the one day of non celebration of a relationship anniversary. But thank you for your concern, I had Tony read the comment and we will this weekend have an anniversary dinner.

Really hard to type with one hand so I will leave it at that for now. Will write more later to let you know how I am doing. In a lot of pain.