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Monday, February 10, 2014

January 10, 2014 Monday Afternoon

Saturday morning around 8:30 AM we heard this crashing noise upstairs on the floor.  We both looked at each other and I said to Tony 'I sure hope they didn't drop the baby'.  About 2 minutes later there is a knock on our door and our tenant is standing there holding her baby in tears asking to come in.  She was shaking and the baby was bleeding from her chin.  We grabbed a cloth and got it wet and stopped the bleeding.  As we are doing this she is asking me for the phone so she can call the police.  I asked what was going on and I guess her boyfriend and her got in a fight this morning when he arrived 10 minutes before we heard the crashing noise.  He did move to a one bedroom apartment nearby I was told.  She continues by telling me he got mad and smashed a bowl on the floor and a piece of the bowl hit the baby and she was bleeding.  Lucky no glass got in her eyes and only on her chin.  I told her to think long and hard before she calls the police because once they come you can not take it back and one of them is going to jail.  The baby was fine.  She called upstairs and I could hear her telling him to 'just leave now'.   She kept saying she would clean the mess but if he didn't leave she would call the police.  I tried to get her to say what the fight was about and she would not say.  I do know it takes two and if she is pushing his buttons, this might be why, not that it is OK.  She would not tell me which tells me she helped cause the fight.  Of course he should not have smashed a bowl.  It takes two is what I am saying.  If you know how to push someone's buttons and you do that, you will get a reaction.  He left, she went back upstairs.  We just stood in the living room shaking our heads thinking WTF.   I then went outside to shovel the snow we got over night.  Showered and went to Pick N Save later in the morning to get wine and flowers to take to my college buddies home that night for spaghetti dinner.  Two college buddies and one's wife will be there.  I have not seen the college buddies in 30 years.  Took a nap in the afternoon.  Half hour before we were to leave to go to the buddies house for supper the police pulled up out front and soon were at our front door.  Figured out she did call the police and Milwaukee's finest were finally showing up at 5 PM.  Told them they would have to drive around back and she had a back entrance only.  They soon were at the back door and upstairs talking to her.  Of course the two squad cars were blocking our garage so we could not leave until they left at 5:30 PM.  So now these unemployed worthless low life tenants of mine are now wasting tax dollars and police on their crap because they can not act adult.  We soon left to go to my college buddies house and were there by 6:30 PM.  Of course they both looked older but could see their faces like yesterday.  We all had a great time.  I brought the photo album and we laughed telling stories about college all night.  Had a great spaghetti dinner also.  Had to laugh when the husband and wife were telling us about their two sons.  One is in Atlanta in a rehab for heroin addiction, the other is living in Chicago and is gay.  After they told us the story how their son came out and about the other being addicted I looked at them and said 'didn't make having a gay son so bad after all that'.   We all laughed.  It was interesting to see both sides of the coming out from the parents perspective and the kids, since I am basically in both.  All I tell people is there is no right or wrong way and there was never a book back then on how to 'come out'.  I guess their son left notes on their car steering wheels one morning before he went to school his senior year telling them he was gay.  Like I said, no rule book on that one.  Guess they took it hard but because of dealing with the heroin son, it was the less of two evils.   We stayed until almost 10 PM and thought it best to call it a night and make the drive home.  We had a great time and it was like we never stopped talking or 30 years had gone by.  When the college buddy pulled out the bong and we were smoking I was back 30 years and in college.  Really did have a nice night and I am sure I will keep in touch with the wife more then the college buddy since 'you know how guys are'.   Plus he is not on the computer and his wife is.  Honestly his wife and I as so much alike it was scary.  We got along great and it felt like I had known her my entire life.  The other college buddy has not done as well.  Never found anyone and now is dealing with just being removed from a heart transplant list because of the cancer and chemo treatments he is now taking.  He has not had an easy path or life.  Got home after 10:30 PM and after a little TV we went to bed to sleep.

Sunday morning we were up by 7 AM.  Made eggs bacon and bagels for breakfast.  Around noon we went to Tony's shop to feed the cats and give them fresh water.  Bought lottery tickets and went to the mall to get my necklace fixed that broke last week.  Jeweler fixed it in a half hour and we had a drink and a hamburger in the mall while it was being fixed.  Came home and spent the afternoon watching TV.  Made a canned ham for supper.  Right before supper a squad car pulled up out front and they once again came to the front door.  They were here to see if our tenant was OK.  WTF?   My tax dollars.  Hell, someone gets shot in front of my house and it takes hours for them to get here and I never sometimes ever hear from them again.  She gets a visit to see 'how she is doing'.  Told the police she was not home because her car was not parked in back.  They then left.  Spent the night watching the gay themed movies A Warm Wind and Scenes From A Gay Marriage.   Both were good movies.  A Warm Wind was very good and about a war vet being helped by his gay cousin after he comes back from war injured and with PTSD.  Was a very good movie.  Went to bed around 9:30 PM and soon went to sleep.

This morning I was up by 7 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Spent the day doing things around the house.  Talked to my mom on the phone for a while.   It was my dads 80th birthday over the weekend and they got the book my sister had been working on with pictures of his life.  Mom said they both were in tears and loved it.  Went to my HIV doctor this afternoon to get my blood test results.  Was looking forward to them since the last numbers were when I had shingles and my CD4 was all the way down to 333.  Plus I then switched from Truvada to Epzicom.   So these numbers were important.  Plus I have quit smoking cigarettes since then.  Doctor is very happy and my CD4 count almost doubled to 621.  That is actually in the normal range.  So I am finally 'normal'.  Took me five years to get my CD4 count from 106 to 621.   Doctor said to continue what we are doing and come back after my blood test in June.  Drove home and soon I will have to start making supper.  Honestly have no clue and will have to rip the freezer apart to see what I even feel like making.  Will most likely spend the night watching TV.  Might even start watching the HBO series called Looking that I started downloading and it is up to the fourth episode.  Good time to start watching so we can bing watch through those first four episodes if it is good.   It only got to 9 degrees today.  It was below zero when we got up.  Suppose to be a bit warmer each day this week and maybe even close to 32 by Thursday.  That will feel like a heat wave compared to what have been having. 


  1. It's a good thing the cops showed up and that these losers are on their radar. This is a child abuse case waiting to happen. It sounds like a bogus story re: how the child got hurt. You should be thankful that the authorities are looking at the issue---there is a child's life at stake. I would call Child Protective Services---get them involved, too....

  2. Please call CPS- you are so quick to help an animal, please help this poor little baby

  3. As a woman I'm shocked at your sexist insensitive comments. Firstly, *just because* someone doesn't want to talk about what happened, DOESN'T make it the woman's fault or even partly her fault. That assumption had me shaking my head, going what....the.....fark?!??? She may be feeling ashamed that her life got to this, it may be a personal issue re a sensitive issue, you don't know. I cannot believe you could be so heartless and ignorant to ASSUME it was her fault, JUST because she didn't feel comfortable enough to open up to you. It does NOT always 'take 2', especially when the power is so uneven that you have a strong aggressive man and a weak cowering woman. You are coming from a position of man-man, have you ever reminded yourself that there is a FEMALE here, in question? Not 2 men? It makes all the difference. Seriously, have you ever read about battered women? Most of the time the woman DOES NOTHING. A man comes home from work angry, stressed. The wife didn't cook the right dinner, or she spoke to another man. Husband flies into a jealous rage, while the wife cowers in the corner saying "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to burn dinner" or "I'm sorry, the man offered to help me carry in the groceries because my arms were full, I promise I'll never say hello to him again" before his fist comes at her face. Some women dread their husband returning home from a bad day because they know what is coming. It DOESN'T 'take two', not when a woman does nothing wrong but is the punching bag for an angry and/or drunk husband. I'm serious, I'm not meaning to be mean or argumentative, but your 'it takes two' line is based on a presupposition that all things are equal. A strong aggressive man vs weak woman is a clear power imbalance with a vulnerable party. Seriously, research battered women syndrome or make a quick call to the battered women's shelters and tell them 'it takes two'. I think they'll be shocked and stunned and recommend you take a re-education course.

    Second, there is NEVER an excuse to be violent with a woman, ESPECIALLY with A BABY!!! Almost 100% if a man starts throwing things and smashing things (ie getting physical), then that will at some stage, escalate to bodily physical abuse. NO real man will EVER hit a woman, 'pushing his buttons' is as insulting and caveman-like barbaric as saying a woman 'deserved' to be raped because 'she dressed like it'. A man is supposed to exercise SELF-CONTROL. If he loses control, that is all, 100% totally on him, it has NOTHING to do with the woman. No stable man would *ever* smash dishes in front of a woman and a baby. Don't blame the woman for the MAN'S lack of ability to control himself. NO WOMAN IS *EVER* to blame for a MAN'S ACTIONS. Your attitude that attempts to minimise the actions of an out-of-control violent, unstable and dangerous man is absolutely breathtakingly disgusting and shows how far we as a society have to go when it comes to domestic violence. It seems some in the gay community are as backward and ignorant when it comes to violence, as the straight community. Misogyny, even. It is NEVER ok to victimise a woman and place the blame on a woman for a violent and abusive man. Never. No matter what. You appear to have a 1920s viewpoint on women, and on child welfare. You being gay, I would have expected a lot, A LOT BETTER than that. And the police patrolling the house is a good, positive pro-active thing. You forget that there is a vulnerable woman and a BABY involved here. They are not tough or strong like the male gender. I find it hard to believe you're annoyed because the police are protecting the vulnerable. I would have thought that was something to commend, not whinge about? My god, I don't understand you! Not at all. You seem to really hate and resent women.

  4. ...
    (cont) Lastly, I agree a child shouldn't be removed but clearly it is a cause for concern that such a violent, unhinged and unstable man is allowed around a baby. BUT, there is one thing you are missing. CPS can give help and advice and counselling to the mother. Just because you call CPS doesn't mean you only do it with one thing in mind; the child being removed. CPS don't automatically remove children. They can come in, assess things and take a proactive approach such as counselling. Perhaps the couple are struggling with the demands of being a parent so fights escalate? CPS can assist with counselling and coping techniques.

    Its not ALL about having the child removed. There are benefits to calling the CPS that *don't* have anything to do with removal. That's a last resort. If you had called CPS, instead of baulking because you assume doing that means the child be removed (a common misapprehension), maybe the mother and father could have gotten counselling and help. But you prevented that, because you thought that if you called the CPS the baby would be removed, because you believe the only thing CPS does is remove kids. Wrong. Calling CPS and getting all 3 counselling and help could only be a good thing.