July 12, 2011 Tuesday Dinner Time

Last night was not a good night. Tony got home around 5:30 PM from work. After he showered we decided to drive to the south side for a car show in the Cadillac since Tony supposedly fixed the gas / hesitation problem. About half way to the show the car started acting up again. Ate dinner at Hardy's where the car show was and headed home. On the way home the car got worse. At times Tony had his foot all the way on the gas peddle and the car would just jerk slowly forward. We tried to get up the on ramp for the Home Street Bridge and the car would not make it up the hill. We backed down the on ramp and took side streets home with the car shaking and hesitating the whole way home. I was a wreck thinking we would break down. We did get home eventually. The problems did not end there. Vito was not a happy guy last night after it got dark. It seems at dusk he gets very confused from not being able to see. We went to bed around 10 PM after watching a couple episodes of True Blood. I cried myself to sleep as Vito slept in his cage next to the bed.

This morning I was up at 6 AM and fed all the dogs but Vito. Vito would not eat. Had no interest in his food. I did give him his shot when I saw him starting to eat so I spent the rest of the morning trying to get him to eat the rest of his food. I even made some beef rice around 10 AM and put it in his food with no luck. He did eat a handful of dry food around noon. This is all not good because the food and shot must be at the same time. So this morning feeding and shot is just not working. Spent the day watching Vito and having him by my side. Tony came home around 2:45 PM to take us to the 3 PM vet appointment. The vet did a good job of looking at his eyes and says he is getting very little light and is most likely almost blind. The vet also tested for glaucoma and the test came back on the high side of normal. We will have to monitor this and maybe take him to a specialist in time. I guess glaucoma can be painful and we would not want to do anything nothing about it. For now we are fine but it could flair up at any time with his diabetes and blindness. I cried like a baby at the vet as I told them all that was happening to my little baby. Tony dropped us off at home and he went back to work. This is really taking a toll on me. I have to step away at times and just break down and get it out of my system before I return to tend to Vito. It is heartbreaking to see him not be able to find a door and banging into the other dogs when he walks around the room. He still has some play in him and a couple times during the day wrestles with Bo. So he does have quality of life at this point in time. So today is not the day to say goodbye, but it could be sooner rather than later. It will break my heart to say goodbye to him when that day comes. I think when Tony comes home we will walk up the street for dollar taco's. I need to get out of the house for a while and away from all this. Vito will be fine for an hour as we go out to eat tonight. I will gate the dogs in a small part of the house while we are gone. So, that is my life right now. I take care of my dog Vito and try to make the most of the time he has left. Being a care taker is not a fun job and very taxing on the mind and body. Much less, my face has bags under my eyes from all the crying.