July 19, 2011 Tuesday Dinner Time

Spent most of yesterday in the house in the air conditioning. Tony got home from work last night around 5:30 PM. He was hot, sweaty and exhausted from working outside in the heat all day at work. It was close to 100 degrees here in Milwaukee yesterday. I keep telling him he needs to spend more time in his air conditioned office. In fact I tell him if he doesn't, I will come to the shop and drag him home myself. After all, Tony has had open heart surgery and should not be working in this hot weather. The neighbors across the alley invited us over for dinner but the lasagna would not be ready until after 8 PM. I declined and thanked them. Made Tony a salad and a big TV dinner. He was too hungry to wait until after 8 PM to eat. After we were done eating we did go over for a quick drink and came home around 8 PM. She was just putting the lasagna in the oven at that point so I made a wise choice since it would not be ready to eat until after 9 PM or so. Spent the night watching TV on the DVR. Went to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 5 AM to let Vito out and then went back to bed for an hour or so. Got back up at 6:30 AM and fed all the dogs and gave Vito his shot. It is another hot day in Milwaukee. The next two days are suppose to be the worst of them. Went grocery shopping this morning since I am not sure how I will feel about doing the shopping after my early morning dental appointment tomorrow. I know I cracked a tooth since it hurts to eat and just throbs even sitting here. Spent the rest of the day in the house with the dogs in the air conditioning. I have no energy in this heat even in the air conditioned house. This hot humid weather just drains you of any energy. Not sure what I am going to do for dinner tonight. I still have an hour to decide. I just don't feel like cooking and am not even hungry to think about making food. Will most likely spend the night watching America's Got Talent before we go to bed. Tony will come home exhausted again tonight from the heat. Tomorrow I have an 8 AM dental appointment and then in the evening we see the play Jersey Boys with my parents.

I got a long heartfelt letter from a friend I went to high school with, and recently have reconnected with, in the mail today. I had not told him about my HIV status due to the fact I am careful who I tell. He said in the letter he had found my blog and has been reading it. (How the heck do so many people find my blog). He also told me about his confused feelings back in high school and beyond. It is so sad that we both were such good friends and yet we could not speak of the confused feelings we had for guys and girls. Back over 30 years ago there was no good word for what we were feeling or thinking. I don't even think the word gay existed back then except as a nasty word to call someone. There was no gay people on TV or anyone that had anything good to say about gay acting people. I had no one to talk to back then and neither did he. Dare we speak of what we were thinking back then without getting beat up. Very sad to think how different life might have turned out if I had had a good friend I could have told my feeling to and him to tell them to me. Such a confusing time to go through with no one to talk to. Jeez, could I have used a friend to talk to about why I am attracted to guys rather than girls. Sad to think a friend I could have talked with was right there by my side all through high school. We took different routes in life. I gave into my feelings and lived the gay life. He got married and had kids. The letter was nicely written and very sincere. My head is spinning at the thought of how different life could have been with someone to talk to about this stuff back in high school or college. You know who you are, we will talk about this more in the future. Just know how much I appreciated your letter and I feel we can even get closer since this big secret is out of the bag.