April 10, 2014 Thursday Afternoon

Spent last night watching Criminal Minds and CSI before going to bed.  Slept a bit better.  Was still up a few times but at least they were not filled with tears.  Bo still is taking Stella's death hard.  He wouldn't even sleep with us on the bed in the beginning and didn't come up on the bed until after midnight.  So he is feeling the pain.  Stella was his best friend from day one when he walked in the door. 

This morning I was up by 6 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  I didn't want to spend the day crying again so I thought it best to keep busy.  Since it got to 50 degrees today I did a lot of work outside and also filled the hot tub.  Figure if I am going to start a new project over the deck I better have the hot tub to soak in at night to ease the pain.  Went for a walk along the river trails today. Actually was a little strange.  I took Stella's collar and a lot of tissue.  It is about a 2 mile walk along the trails.  As I started my walk I was talking to myself like I often do and asked God, spirit guide, anyone, for a signal that I have done the right thing euthanizing Stella on Monday.  I then joked that I would probably miss the sign if I wasn't specific.  So I said, "let me see another dog like Stella on the walk".   I laughed knowing in five years of walking the trails I have never seen a Pitbull with the same marking and colors at Stella.   Honest to God on the way back home the final path I could not believe my eyes.  Up head was a couple walking a Pitbull about half the size of Stella with the same face markings and colors.  I started crying.  I then stopped the couple as they walked by and explained my story and tears.  WTF?   The dog was maybe 6 months old but had the same face color and markings.  A sign?  Why do we even doubt?   Heck, I asked for a specific sign and I got it and I still doubt.  Human nature?   It did throw me and I will have to process this.   Making salads and a Hormel pot roast for supper.  Will spend the night watching TV with the dogs.