September 4, 2009 Friday Morning

Not having a good morning today.

Yesterday my tenant and I headed to work at 8:30 in the morning and worked the longest day I have worked since going back working outside the house since January. I didn't get home until close to 5 PM. Very productive day. Got the rest of the shelving set up and started moving the warehouse product around with the owner, my tenant and another employee. Very physical work. Worked out butts off and I was in physical pain by the time I got home. Did very little last night due to being so tired. At one point Tony made a comment to me saying ' I never said you had to go back to work'. I went outside for a while and when I came in I tried to explain to him that even though I feel so exhausted and every muscle hurts I feel I had the most rewarding week I have had in a long time. I feel a sense of accomplishment and appreciated by the owner for all I have done this week. I went on to tell him working at home or around the house is not as rewarding and certainly not appreciated verbally from him as it is with coworkers outside the house. It is amazing to me that when I was in my 20s working in retail I worked 12 hour days and felt like I did last night. Now I work a 6 or 8 hour day and feel the same. Guess that what happens when you are 48 years old? Or is it the AIDS? Was in bed by 9:30 sleeping.

This morning I had to go into the hospital for my next round of blood tests. No food or coffee prior. Not good when you wake up in a fog like I do from the meds. Also not good with all the morning bowel problems I have daily. Was a real struggle trying to push myself to the hospital, walk to the blood department and drive home. Picked up some McDonald's on the way home and after Tony left for work I went back and laid on the bed. Soon I was crying. Not sure why. I think the busy exhausting week has caught up with me and my body says I did too much. It will be interesting to see if the blood work shows this in my numbers this time around. I still am in pain, muscle pain from the hard work. I feel like my good week has come crashing down on me. Why? I was feeling good. Feeling accomplishment. Is it because I today feel so limited? Am I afraid of my next round of blood results? What will I do if this past week has not helped increase my numbers and in fact made them worse? Maybe it is just the slow Whitney Houston Greatest Hits that is making me so depressed this morning? Either way I wish I could stop the tears this morning. Hopefully lunch with the guys today will help. Later this afternoon Tony and I have to take Stella back to the vet for another round of xrays so they can get some better views. The vet did call yesterday and tell us it looks like surgery will cost about $1500.00 on her leg. Tony is not happy. He is saying he will take her to a different vet. I simply told him if he wants a second opinion or thinks he can find a cheaper option HE needs to do it. I am not. I told him he has until next Wednesday or I will schedule the surgery here at our vet for the $1500.00. Since he is not home as much he does not see her limping and the pain. I DO. With all the hours I am working this month I just figure I am working for Stella's surgery this month. Will know more after the next round of xrays as to what the surgery will entail. We have no plans this weekend for Labor Day. The way I feel right now that is fine with me. I am sure something will come up as the weekend unfolds.