October 25, 2009 Sunday Afternoon

Friday was a rainy damp day here in Milwaukee. I did manage to push myself to go grocery shopping in the morning and had lunch with the guys. Spent the afternoon on the couch watching tv and napping. My mom called to say she loves me. We talked for a while. She had spoken to my sister earlier in the day about my disease and she had a little more information. I wish she got on the internet, but she doesn't know much about computers. She could learn so much more if she got on the internet. That night I made a store bought meat loaf, potatoes and corn for dinner and we stayed home out of the rain. Wrote a long email to my boss stating I can no longer assist her in the way I have been lately. I have been working way to many hours and the stress has finally caught up with me. Explained I am willing to do projects for her but I can not be in control of the warehouse and the employees and have everyone dumping on me all day like they do. I can not keep all that needs to be kept up with in my mind. I am over whelmed and I can do it no longer. I told her in the beginning prior to returning I could not and would not put up with the stress I did in the past. I reminded her of that. I don't want to stop working, but I can not work the 8-4 shift or more like I have been. I guess I will let the chips fall where they fall. If she tells me not to return I would not be happy, but I honestly can not continue in the manner I was. I must put my health first. Don't know how the bill will get paid since Tony is not making money these days at the shop. He has been making enough to pay the shop bills, but the household bills my pay has been paying for them.

Saturday we laid around most of the day. Neither one of us had any energy. I did manage to get Tony out of the house later in the afternoon and we went to see the movie Couples Retreat. It as OK. Saturday night I called my mom to see how she was. My dad left for Florida to their condo for about 10 days so now she is left alone to deal with my news. I do feel for her. We did talk about the fact that she has been crying since and how it was not easy to hear that her son has AIDS. She seems to say all the right things for now. Saturday night we watched a couple movies I downloaded and last weeks episode of Glee on the internet because I forgot to DVR it. I do like the show Glee. One of the movies we watched was Zombieland. It was OK. Very different. I love to hate zombie movies. I jump and get so scared watching them.

Today after reading much of the newspaper I made blueberry pancakes and sausage for breakfast. Little while after eating we both went back to bed. Got up an hour or so later and since the sun is out I felt it was time to shower and get going and do something. Did a little cleaning, took all four dogs for a walk one at a time around the block, drove to the Open Pantry down the street and bought our weekly lottery tickets. We really need to hit the lottery soon.
Tony is outside painting the last of the house trim that I did not finish this summer. Only a small portion left but it was like pulling teeth for him to get out and do it. At one point he complained so much I looked at him and said 'never mind, I'll just do it when I am done around the house doing my projects'. He is soooooo lazy. Don't see us doing much more the rest of the day when he is done painting. I have all the projects done I wanted to accomplish. It will be a late afternoon of TV and relaxing before the work week starts again. Have not heard from my boss yet regarding the email I sent Friday about not being able to work like I have been. Hopefully she will call tonight. I can only work Monday through Wednesday this week because Thursday morning I see the social security shrink again to evaluate me in my quest to go on social security. They keep denying me. I plan on going in unshowered and with no mind at all. Will let you know how it goes. Receiving social security would really help. Hell, I paid into it since I was 16 years old.