October 29, 2009 Thursday Night

Was a cloudy day here in Milwaukee today. Made it very easy to be 'myself' in today's social security appointment with their head shrink. It was a 9:30 appointment. Got up and walked into the living room to no sound on the TV and it on. The stereo receiver the sound goes through finally died. So that started the day off on a sour note. Had the runs most of the morning and again this afternoon. Wore my sweats, a t shirt, and didn't even comb my hair when I went to the social security appointment. Even wore my slippers. Since my mind had not started because of the cloudy day it was a good day to have this appointment. I think he was much more on my side than the last guy. I felt the difference. When I pulled out my huge bag of prescription bottles I could see his eyes get larger. He asked me if I take all them. I said 'yes, daily'. When I went to get the list out of my folder, the folder fell to the floor and all the paperwork scattered around my feet. I looked at him and cried. I was in the room for about a 1/2 hour asked questions everything from: What is my greatest fear (swine flu was my response), what is the current and past presidents names, adding and subtracting numbers, repeating sets of numbers and then reversing them, what my day is like, what it is like to be in public, do I see my friends, do I take drugs (I laughed and then cried as I said 'just all these' as I picked up my bag full of medications). Tony then was asked to go in and speak to him and they were done within ten minutes. Tony made me sound horrible and I don't think he needed to hear much. Tony said all the correct 'horrible' things. Maybe horrible isn't the right word. But Tony said all he needed to. Basically told him I am not what I was when he 'signed' on 20 years ago. In fact, the shrink told Tony he will file his report by Monday and he sees no reason why I would not receive social security based on what he has seen and heard. Sounds like a done deal, lets cross our fingers. I had a better vibe about this guy than the last. The last guy I could tell he was not sympathetic to anything I said. Today's guy sometimes finished my sentences with a better answer than I would have even thought of. Came home totally exhausted to be honest. Tinkered around the house and then took a long afternoon nap. Got up around 4 pm and made a big dinner for Tony and I. After this post I am going to the couch to watch TV for the night.