January 26, 2012 Thursday Afternoon

Last night we watched the movie Moneyball. It was OK. I am not a sports person so at times it was boring to me. Tony slept through most of the movie. Went to bed a little after 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Got an email today from someone who found my blog. He has a blog of his own and can be found at the following link: http://www.pozrob.blogspot.com/view/classic
I put a direct link at the bottom of this page in the Other Must See Links called Surviving AIDS, PML and Me. I have to admit I spent most of my morning reading all the way to the beginning of his blog. WOW. When you read about how other people have lived with AIDS and overcome all the problems associated with it, it can really be unbelievable. I guess I am so fortunate I got this disease now and not 20 or more years ago. I am amazed at times how strong the need to survive is no matter how many obstacles come along during life. I am so awestruck by how strong some people are and what they have gone through. I can pretty much say that I believe most people like myself who have blogs like this did not start the blog for sympathy. Every blog I have found was made to help others living with this disease. Giving others a chance to see what life is like living with HIV and AIDS and how we survive daily through the infections, stress, and lack of understanding of this disease. I admire everyone who came before me and those who continue to put their lives out there for others to see and learn from. I guess that's what I do when I read someones blog. I think I learn more coping skills in some way. I become stronger knowing someone else might have had it the same or worse, yet chose to fight and continue life. I try to channel their strength and add it to mine. I guess I am very fortunate to be as healthy as I am, living with AIDS. I also learn things and take away something from their blogs. I today learned I should be more forthcoming with my thoughts and feelings and not just what I do all day. Trust me when I say, every time I hear the word AIDS or HIV on TV or in a movie, my heart skip a beat and I am reminded. Every time I take my pills, I am reminded. We are constantly reminded all day we have AIDS or HIV. It can really bring you down if you are not careful to filter it. When someone lets you into their life, their thoughts, their fears, it can be very moving. I hope in writing my blog and sharing it, I give someone hope and strength.

It is cloudy today in Milwaukee and in the low 30s. Vito is having some problems seeing and getting around. Tony mentioned he noticed also before he went to work. I sometimes can not believe how much Vito depends on me to get through the days. It is comforting to know he is still happy because of all the help I give him during the day. I talk to him all day letting him know where I am and when he sits next to me I put my hand on him. His tail always gives me a wag telling me 'thanks, I feel more secure knowing my daddy is next to me'. I guess there is a purpose for me to be here if not only to take care of Vito and make sure he stays happy being diabetic and blind for whatever years he has left. Barkley needs me to clean his ears daily and bath him weekly so that he is happy. Bo needs me to play with him and toss the tennis ball all day. Stella just needs a tummy rub a couple times a day. And Kali is always just happy to be in the same room with me and get a tummy rub, to burp, after eating. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I changed something along the way in my past. Every time I go down that path of thinking I always come to the same conclusion that I would not change a thing. Thinking if I changed 'something' all I have would not be here today, is not a happy thought. I am glad I have my dogs, Tony, my family and friends, and if the thought of not having what I have now, is scary. So I guess that means I am happy? Most days.

Around noon I went to the UPS store to return the old ATT cable box. All went smoothly and I walked across the parking lot to that Pick N Save and bought some sale items the other two were out of. Came home and spent more time on the Internet before taking a nice long nap with the dogs. Making baked chicken breasts and Mac N Cheese for dinner with a salad. Will spend the night watching TV with the dogs.