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Thursday, December 19, 2013

December 19, 2013 Thursday Afternoon

Last night we spent the night watching a movie named Prisoners.  It was a very long movie but very good.  I think it clocked in at over 2 1/2 hours.  Very good movie and I recommend finding and renting to watch.  Went to sleep around 10:20 PM after the local news.

This morning I was up by 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Did very little today.  It was cloudy all day and I just laid around listening to music or cruising the Internet.  Making some croutons right now in the oven.  I had a garlic loaf of bread and I thought I would try making them.  If nothing else they will be a nice snack.  Making Oncore beef patties, mashed potatoes and corn with a salad for supper tonight.  Will most likely watch another movie from the 100 or so I have on the DVR.

Read all your comments.  As much as I appreciate all the comments I do find the first one a little harsh and incorrect.  To say I have my 'own internalized homophobia/AIDS phobia' just because I am a little afraid at times to tell people I have HIV doesn't mean I am in need of a therapist.  I would rather protect myself from the hurt or rejection I might get revealing my status.  If anyone would need the therapist it would be the one not accepting me because I have HIV not me for protecting myself.  It is no different then not running down the street screaming 'I am gay, I am gay'.  In my city I might get beat up or killed.  I am not sure where you are from but please be a little less judgmental about someone needing therapy when they are really just trying to protect themselves.  I will agree with you on the fact that as of today I still have not had a bad reaction to telling anyone I was gay much less HIV.  Maybe it is all in the how and when?   Also, there might be reasons for NOT wanting to disclose you are HIV.  One example would be because one's brother would let everyone within shouting distance know and that is not what I would want.  Yes, I am living with HIV, but that does not mean I have to put it on my forehead and tell everyone.   I didn't want to go here, but it could be compared to Herpes.  If one had Herpes they would not want others knowing.  It would not be something you told someone unless you were going to sleep with them and if you did, I am pretty sure you might fear they will tell others.   Guess I just don't need the stress and it is never a good thing to have too much stress.   
I guess the fact that people will judge you on what disease you might or might not have is still around today.
Keep the comments coming so I don't feel like I am just talking to myself.
Croutons turned out great.


  1. Sorry if I offended yesterday. I found your herpes analogy to be a disturbing. Would you be on disability because of herpes? Would you go to the Herpes Resource Center of Wisconsin's pharmacy or food pantry? HIV is vastly different.

    My point was simply this (and simply my opinion). If you want to live an authentic life you have to BE authentic. If you are experiencing angst over disclosure, I was simply suggesting that speaking to a therapist can help sort through the issues surrounding it. (I am a strong proponent of therapy, and in no way consider seeing a therapist a weakness).

    You don't have to be out to everyone. But, if you ask yourself a simple question: Is my relationship with this person one where I want to be honest? and the answer is yes....then disclose. Conversely, if the person is simply an acquainteance or someone you have just met, there is no need to disclose; in fact it could be weird. Trust your gut and you'll know when to disclose.

    Yes, we live in different communities, but I have found that those that judge you based on HIV status or sexual orientation are people you don't want in your life.

  2. authentic? it seems that you have not got the point yet, in my humble opinion Dave is authentic as one can be and i don't think he needs therapy. The comparison was not based on which disease is worse than the other one but rather it was based on people's perception on when you tell them that you have herpes.