February 13, 2012 Monday Afternoon

Saturday morning I woke up feeling much the way I did the past two days, sick as a dog. Why do we use that phrase? Neither of us left the house all day. Spent the day laying around watching TV and just trying to survive the day. Saturday night I thought maybe a nice bath in the jacuzzi tub would be a good thing. Of course there is a story coming. As most know Tony has been working on his bathroom with the jacuzzi tub going on three years now. It goes two steps forward and one step back each time he starts working on the continuing remodel. Remember, I am not allowed to work on this project, it has been told to me many times: It is his bathroom and he will finish it. So, I filled the tub with nice warm water and bath bubbles. Tony came into the bathroom just as I was getting into the tub. I laid back and pushed the button to start the jets and .................... nothing. No jets. Jeez, the one time I really need a massage jet tub is now and of course it doesn't work. Tony then kept pushing on the button and of course looked at me and said 'what did you do to it'? Took a bath without the jets. Some more back ground info. Tony just, in the last few weeks, tiled the under part of the tub where you get to the controls to fix such a problem like we now are having. We have fought loud about this and I from day one wanted and bought the supplies I needed for a removable wall under the tub so we can get to the controls, reset button and heater. Do I need to say it again? I WAS RIGHT! Why do some men just not listen. Finished my bath, which really felt good. Would have been better with jets and a massage, but? Spent the rest of the night wrapped in a blanket on the couch with the dogs. Just before Saturday Night Live was to start the news broke in with the report of Whitney Houston's death. So sad. More on this later. Went to bed about half way through SNL.

Sunday morning we were both up by 7 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Felt so much better since I sweated all night as I slept. Wrapped myself up real good and it worked. I at least feel I hit a turning point now and I am in recovering mode. Made eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast. Around 10 AM I asked Tony what he thought was the problem with the tub. Like it had some how gone away during the night. It was on my radar, not his. After watching Tony for an hour do absolutely nothing but try to look under the tub, I took the matter into my own hands. Yes, it took some shouting. I ended up grabbing a hammer and tearing down and apart the wall he built under the tub and told him it was going to be redone MY WAY. Of course this did not go over well and he put his hands in the air and said 'fine, its all yours'. Finally! After I worked on the tub area for an hour I took a shower, got Tony into the shower and told him we were going to the hardware store and lottery tickets. Corner hardware store did not have the wood 2 x 2s I needed and we ended up going to Home Depot. I just needed 2 of the boards and a molding. I already had the panel I was going to use to cover the under tub. Got what we needed, stopped at the corner gas station and got the lottery tickets, and came home. Tony helped carry the wood into the house and when I asked him if he wanted to know my plan or help he said 'this is your project now'. OK, I can do this. Spent two hours working on the wall panel. Turned out great. Cut all the wood myself in the basement and even got a coat of paint on the moldings as Tony napped in the bedroom. By the time he got up I had the panel in place under the tub so he could see what it will look like. Of course I knew I was not going to get the response I wanted. He looked at it and said 'great'. I do still need to put a second coat of paint on the moldings to cover the small nails. Bottom line is I did it my way, the way I had planned all the time, from day one, and it is just how I imagined, DONE. I get so mad because with projects like this I have thought out the project, how I will do it, and how it will look. So if I voice my idea, it is a well thought out idea. And lets just face it, it will most likely in the end be done my way, and should have been from the beginning. LOL Ordered a pizza and garlic bread for supper. Spent the night watching the award shows. Went to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM. Bo and Barkley had us up last night over and over again. Barkley crying in his cage, and Bo just not being able to lay down and go to bed. Got the dogs fed and Tony off to work. Feeling a little better today. My face and cheeks just hurt, no headache. So I think I am slowly getting better. Guess my body still has some fight in it. Read the morning newspapers, watched Live With Kelly and then popped on some Whitney Houston as I worked on the bathroom, putting the second coat of paint on the moldings. Had Tony come home to turn off the water and disconnect the water faucets so I could work on the base in this area. He was home in a flash and I soon was cutting the parts I needed with hole for the faucets. Turned out pretty much how I wanted. The rest will have to wait for another day since I am ready to hit the couch in exhaustion. There still is so much grout work and such to do, it is not near complete. In fact I can not believe all the work still needed to get this bathroom finished. Hey, it's only been three years. But thankfully, now in my hands, it will move forward.

Such a shame about Whitney Houston's passing. My first thought when I heard the news was 'not another'. I say that referring to Michael Jackson, Elvis, and so many that hit their peak at a young age and then could not live with the lows and the fact they will never reach 'that' peak again. Why can't people be happy with the success they had in the past and move forward with the memory and hope for more happiness in the future. I say this thinking of my life. I honestly think the best years of my life are behind me. I say that knowing I will have many happy events and times in my future, but my carefree days and fun times are mostly behind me. Does this make me sad? Yes, but it also is comforting to know I had those happy high times and I will have more. They just will be different. I am not going to do drugs and destroy my life because the best years might be behind me, I am going to try to create more happy times and remember the times I did already have. I always have said, as I get older, if I was to loose my memories of my family, dogs, and life and my mind goes, there will be no reason to go on. The memories of the happy times I had in life are what keep me going daily and give me hope more will come. Hell, three years ago I thought I was going to die and was ready to accept that. In the past three years I can think of many many things I would truly have missed. Here is a short list:
Getting closer and keeping close with my sisters kids, my nephews.
Meeting the cast of OLTL in Chicago on the last day of the show.
Getting Bo.
Helping Vito go through his diabetes and blindness.
Internet friends surprising me on my Birthday and flying into Milwaukee to see me.
Meeting all the new friends I have met since my diagnosis.
Getting closer to my mom and dad.
Having an even stronger relationship with Tony than I had before.
And so many other happy times, those are just off the top of my head. Wow, it would have been sad to miss all those things above.