February 22, 2012 Wednesday Afternoon

Spent last night watching the last two episodes of Smash. I do like the series. Went to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM. Would have stayed in bed longer but I had to pee so bad. Don't you just hate that? It's not like I didn't get up twice during the night already. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Went grocery shopping in the morning. First stopped off at McDonald's for a buy one get one free breakfast sandwich. Ordered the bacon egg and cheese bagel and paid for it. Drove to Pick N Save to eat it before going shopping to find two burritos in the bag, not bagels. My receipt showed bagels. Now I do like the sausage burritos but there was no sauce. So I drove back to McDonald's and went in to the restaurant and showed them what I got for what I paid for. They gave me my two bagels and when they went to take the burritos back I said 'I will take these for my inconvenience'. Figured I can grind them up in the dogs food tonight. Drove back to Pick N Save and ate one of the bagel sandwiches before going in and getting the week's grocery shopping done. Came home around 11 AM and did a little around the house before taking a nap. Was watching one of the judge shows and they had a blond Pomeranian on the show. Always makes me cry and think of my Tiny. It got me thinking what I would like heaven to be like. If there is a heaven that is. I would like it to start something like this:

As the bright light starts to fade and my vision starts to come into focus I would see Tiny and Shadow come running up to me. They would both have a full body of hair, thick like when they were young. I would pet them as they climbed on me kissing my face. Shadow would look at me and I would then know all will be OK. I will see all the torment I put myself through thinking I put her down too soon should not have been. As I bend down to pet them, Buddy comes running up to me, full of life. No heart problem and puppy like, like when we found him. I then turn around and see Betty with no more ear infections and she looks at me to thank me for all I did for her, as she licks my face. I pet her and hug her as all the other dogs try to get my attention. My face would be covered in tears as I am on my knees petting all my little kids. I then would feel a comforting tap on my shoulder and look up and see my grand parents all standing there. As I look beyond them, and the haze starts to clear, I would see all the people that I knew that died before me, in order of how important they were to me. A sinking feeling in my chest would come as I think of the dogs and Tony I left behind. I soft voice would tell me 'they will be fine, you can watch them from here'. My fears of death would be for nothing and I would smile knowing I am where I should be. Finally happy!