July 26, 2012 Thursday Afternoon

Tony came home at his usual time of 5:30 PM last night from work.  When he walked in the door there was this cloud of stink that clouded around him.  Guess this is what a man smells like when he works and sweats outside all day.  Made him his coffee and had him get in the shower.  Even had to pull out the air freshener and spray down the rooms.  Spent the night watching TV.  I stuck my head outside a couple times during the night and could not believe how hot it still was at 8:30 PM, 91 degrees and humid.  Went to bed around 10 PM with my Ipod, listening to my new music mix I made yesterday.  Turned off the Ipod around midnight just in time for the rain and storms, Vito now keeping me awake for another hour as he barked at the thunder. 

This morning I was up at 7 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  After Tony left for work and I read a little of the newspaper, I went outside and did some yard work.  There have been so many leaves and branches falling because of the drought.  Raked and blew the side and back yard with the leaf blower.  By the time I was finished I was dripping wet.  Even though it is only in the 80s today it is so humid you can cut the air with a knife.  Feels like I am down south.  Spent the rest of the morning listening to and editing the music mix I made yesterday.  Got it all uploaded and posted above and also on my music pages.  I think this Summer Mix turned out better than the one last week so I replaced it.  Give it a listen.  Made myself the left over bacon potato soup I bought yesterday for lunch and laid back on the couch for an hour listening to music.  I can not stress how humid it is outside, Tony and anyone working outside must be dieing today in the heat and humidity.  I see a line of thunderstorms about 2 hours away approaching Milwaukee.  Hopefully it will cool things down and bit, or a lot,  LOL.    Making sweet and sour chicken with rice for supper tonight.  Will spend the night watching TV because I am not venturing out in this heat. 

The other day I was having one of those 'feel sorry for yourself' moments.  I sometimes get them when I am getting dressed in the bedroom and I see the 5 urns from my dogs and the pictures around them.  Brings me to tears and gets me thinking.  The other day I was thinking 'what would I change if I could do life over again'.   I started thinking about little things I might think of changing and of course the big HIV thing comes to mind.  I then started thinking though, if I changed even one little thing along my life's path, would that change everything going forward?  If so, I don't think I would change a thing.  Would it mean I wouldn't have Tony?  My house?  My current and past pets?   I started thinking about what I would change and why, then thinking best not to change anything.  A good example would be finding out I have AIDS.  Would I rather not have AIDS?  Of course.  But if I didn't find out over 3 and a half years ago that I had AIDS, look at all the things that might not have happened just in these three plus years.   Would Tony and I still be together?  Honestly, the AIDS thing has brought us closer together, realizing how precious life is.  I wouldn't have Bo because I would have been working and not home on disability.  I most likely would not be as close as I am now to my family, once again realizing how short and fragile life is.  So, I guess when you think hard and long about what you would change in life you should consider how that would change what you have now.  What I have now is pretty much everything I ever dreamed of.  I have a loving long term relationship, the best dogs in the world, close friends I can count on, and a family I love dearly.  So once again, what would I change,  nothing.   I should smile and be happy more, realizing this.  Guess happiness and life IS what you make of it.  I have to make sure I remember this next time I have one of those 'feel sorry for myself' moments.