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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

March 19, 2014 Wednesday Afternoon

Spent last night watching TV and going through Tony's dad's old jewelry to pick out one or two to wear on Friday to our wedding.  Went to bed around 9 PM to watch more TV.  Tony was asleep in five minutes.   I laid there all night long, at times in tears.  Spent the entire night thinking how sad my family is once again treating me with my wedding to Tony.  How can a family treat me like this, twice?  See, I have yet to get only 2 responses from family members about attending our wedding in two days.  It is like they took the invitation and just read it and threw it away.  Is that how you treat a brother or son?  I have put up with this for way too long and thinking it is time to cut the family ties after this week if I do not hear from them.  My mother who I talk to weekly has yet to even call me this week.  I know why.  Because she doesn't want to talk about my wedding.  Yes,   the word is just to much for her to say.   She continues to tell me how she accepts Tony and I and then you see what that means by her actions this week ............ none.   Don't you think I need a mother's advice and help this week? 

This morning I was up by 7 AM.  Really did not sleep all night.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  I spent the morning cleaning the house.  I figure on Friday there might be some people who will come in the house prior to leaving and I will not have time tomorrow to clean.  In fact tonight is the last time I am cooking and it is a frozen pizza.  Not going to dirty the kitchen and make dishes to wash.  Took a nice nap with the dog although I find myself just laying there thinking and feeling very bitter towards my family.  How rude for only two family members to say congratulations to us on our big day.  Tony keeps saying that since they did not send regrets they will surprise us at the court house.  I find that highly unlikely and will most likely be in tears when I realize it is not going to happen.  They all did this to us 21 years ago for our Holy Union.  This is my families time to make up for there rude homophobia behavior back then and they are failing.  I even posted on Facebook today:  Silence speaks louder than words.   Hoping they will get the point but I guess I am reaching for the stars on this one.  My neighbor is doing more for us than my family.   I know it is our day and I should not let them get to me, but it does hurt.  It hurts a lot.  I started an open letter to them that will be sent out after the wedding to those I do not hear from.   Here are my points and thoughts.  I look forward to comments.

I got married, had the biggest day of my life and most of my family choose to not even congratulate me on our day.   How would that make you feel?

I sent out an invitation to everyone letting them know the place, time and date.  I said if you could not make it to please send well wishes with regrets.  How rude is it to not only not respond that you won't attend, but to not even say congratulations to their son or brother, or future son in law?

If a perfect stranger walked up to any of them on the street and said they were getting married to the person they have been with for 25 years, the first thing out of their mouths would be 'congratulations'.   Yet most of my family can not even say that. 
I do put some of the blame on mom and dad.  They encouraged this behavior by pretty much doing the same as them...nothing.  They also chose not to congratulate their son or brother on the most important day of his life.

I honestly thought that this was the perfect opportunity to make up for way they all disappointed me 21 years ago when I had a Holy Union to show my love for Tony and not one of them send back the response cards or showed any support.  Yes, not one sent back the printed response cards.

Can you imagine how Tony must feel?  All week long when I am in tears he will say to me 'they won't disappoint you again this time.  They must not have responded because they are going to surprise you and be at the wedding'.   Tony keeps defending them all until the end when I finally will realized at the court house that not one of my family will show for my wedding.   

In tears because my family was so thoughtless they could not even respond to my invitation and send flowers or a card in their absence?

My one sister of all people should understand.  Can you imagine if we never came around to liking her husband when she moved out with him or if none of us attended her wedding back then or treated Rick as her husband to this day?

Don’t you think I would have loved my mother’s advice and guidance this past week when I was going crazy trying to make Tony and our day perfect.  Did you help my two sisters the week of their weddings?   Why is mine different?

Did you help them with 'something old something new, something borrowed something blue'?  Wouldn't it have been fun to share that with me for the most important day of my life.

You don't have to like who I marry or married.  I do expect you to treat a brother a bit better than a stranger that would have gotten a simple 'congratulations' when you were informed of their day.  Shame on all of you.  Not even a congratulations.

I can not subject my family to this homophobia any longer until I receive an apology from each of them.

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