May 23, 2013 Thursday Afternoon

Tony was home before 5 PM.  After we fed the dogs he showered so we could go out for supper.  Had a great supper at one of our favorite Italian restaurants.  Even ordered the deep fried eggplant as an appetizer.  Got home by 7 PM and exchanged our cards.  I have learned in all the years with Tony that it is much easier and less of a disappointment on holidays to dates to celebrate, to just let him know in advance what I would like from him.  He is not good at surprises and puts little effort into any event if I don't let him know what I would want.  If I don't I am just disappointed and the day or night is ruined.  So this time I told him all I wanted was a card, but I want him to not just pick the first card he reads.  I told him I would like him to read at least FIVE cards and pick out the best one that is sentimental.   He did not pick a sentimental card, but it was just as good and I was happy.   The card was two cartoon figures and they were pictured in different scenarios.  It started out saying It's Our Anniversary.  'Things may have changed a bit since we got married', with a picture of the two at a drive thru saying 'no fries, honey?' and 'no, just a cheeseburger'.  It goes on 'We still go to dinner (but perhaps they're not quite as romantic'.  'And we still like to see a good movie (but not necessarily in a theater)'.  'We still like to write each other little notes (although the subject matter isn't always love)', with a pic of a refrigerator and post its of 'call the dentist', 'grocery list', 'toilet keeps running'.  'And we still like to stay up together (but maybe not as late as we used to)', with a picture of one of the two characters sleeping on the couch snoring.  'But one thing hasn't changed at all ... and that's the special way we feel about each other'.  With a pic of the two holding hands saying 'I love you'.  He did sign the card '20 yrs, wow, who woulda thought'.   'Tons of love Tony'.  So the card did fit us to a 'T' and I was happy.  We then watched last weeks episode season final of Grey's Anatomy, which really upset me.  I was not happy they had one of the two lesbians in the relationship on the show cheat on her spouse.  When they showed the two together we both looked at each other and at the same time said 'how could she do that with all they have been through together'.  I know it is just a scripted TV show and all but I feel it cheapens how people look at gay relationships.  We continued the discussion for a while how we wish the plot would not have been written like this because of all the shit that the two lesbians had been through, much less they got married and have a kid.  As we talked about this it was like we were talking to each other in hidden code.  It was like we were both saying to each other 'I would never do that because of all we have been through together'.  I think most know Tony had heart surgery years ago and he almost died.  I found out I was HIV four years ago.  We have said goodbye to 5 dogs we considered our kids.  And said goodbye to many friend and family including Tony's father.  So we have been through a lot together and been there for each other.   I also have said before how Tony has never looked me in the eye and accused me of how I got HIV.  It has always been like 'what is done is done'.  I have so appreciated that and don't think discussing the details would help in any way.  The past is past.  I honestly don't know how I got HIV, so assuming would be futile.  My point is, it was 'a moment' in our relationship where I felt this connection in what we were saying.  It was like we raised to a higher level in just that conversation.  After 24 years together it is nice to have those moments.  We went to bed around 10 PM and as we were cuddling Tony said to me 'I love you'.   Tony does not say it often but was the first to say it when we were dating.  So hearing it makes it seem with more meaning.  I told him I loved him also and after a little more cuddling it turned into a round of lovin.   No, he didn't say I Love You just to get some lovin.  I'm pretty easy in that department with out the I Love You first.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM.  Was hard to get out of bed.  I felt so tired today.  Of course the rain and cloudiness didn't help.  I swear on these med on cloudy days my mind just doesn't fire up in the morning.  Fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and got Tony out the door for work with left overs for lunch from last night.  Read a little of the morning newspaper and then went back to bed around 8:30 AM.  Slept until 11 AM.  Saw the sun was trying to come out so I got up.  Can't sleep the day away even though I feel like it now.   Had another cup of coffee and started doing things around the house.  Sewed on a button and sewed a pocket that had a hole in it in one of the leather jackets.  Got a load of laundry going and vacuumed the house.   Showered and then sat back and read two chapters of the book I started last week called After Life that my mom gave me.  Was nice to read that our pets will be in heaven.  I honestly would see no reason to go to heaven if my dogs were not going to be there to greet me.  The sun is out but it has only warmed us to 45 degrees as I post this.  Coldest day of the week and suppose to warm up from here forward.  Will most likely spend the night watching TV from the DVR.  Just making a frozen pizza and salad for supper tonight since we had a big supper last night and we both had left overs for lunch today.   Thanks for all your comments.  I do appreciate them and read them all.