April 30, 2012 Monday Afternoon

Friday night we spent the night watching two movies.  Watched the movies The Darkest Hour and Wreckage.  I enjoyed both movies.  Went to bed around 11 PM.

Saturday morning we were both up by 7 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave the dogs their meds.  We never even left the house all day Saturday until Saturday night.  Watched TV and took a long nap in the afternoon after we watched 'a movie' and had some lovin.  After we fed the dogs supper we went to a fundraiser for ARCW called Make A Promise.  Suit and tie event.  The couple we have lunch with was there also and assigned to our table to sit, which worked out nice.  Over 1000 people in attendance at the event.  Had a nice time at the event.  Dinner itself was interesting.  Six of us sat at this assigned table of 10 to eat dinner.  About half way through eating a couple joined the table leaving only 2 empty seats.  As the couple sat down I could not believe my eyes.  The one was a guy, in drag, BAD drag.  His dress did not fit and the way it was cut, as he sat down his nipples showed from the sides.  It was hideous and as I watched the other people at our table eventually notice what I had been noticing, I could not stop laughing.  Just seeing every one's eyes as they looked around, locked on the guy/girl, could see his nipples, and the shock on their faces as they realized what they were looking at.  So all during dinner I could not stop laughing.  I could not turn to the left, because I would see his nipples hanging out of his dress, and I could not look at the people at the table, without breaking down laughing.  Soon everyone caught on and we just could not look each other in the eyes without laughing.  I even had to get up and compose myself at one point because I could not stop laughing.  Someone should have told this drag queen her dress was not right for her body.  I guess it would be no different than one of my testicles hanging out of my pants every time I sat down or turned.  Guess the moral of the story is to really take a look at yourself and the outfit your wearing before you get to an event, not after.  He / she kept putting on his fur coat when he went to the bathroom and got his / her 5 beers during the dinner part of the event.  So I know he / she must have known what a bad choice she / he made with the dress.  We left after the speeches and before the dancing.  The food was OK, could have been better.  The meat was so hard to chew at points I had to spit it out.  Thankfully for the salad because I did not eat much of the main food that came.  Tony said he enjoyed his.  Got home around 11 PM.  Watched a little TV.   Did the lovin thing, and went to bed around midnight.

Sunday morning we were up at 7 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave the dogs their meds.  Made some eggs, bacon and muffins for breakfast.  Spent the morning reading the newspaper and doing little projects around the house.  Around noon we went to Pick N Save to get lottery tickets and some groceries.  Of course the store was out of most the sale items so I will have to go back again this week.  Got home and after a lot of begging, got Tony to take a walk around the river with me.  I just could not spend the afternoon doing nothing.  It was about 55 degrees out and sunny so it was not that cold outside.  Tony complained most of the walk about the cold, and pain,  lol.  I simply enjoyed my walk and kept reminding him the pain is because he is old and because he doesn't walk like this enough.  Made some steaks on the grill which ran out of gas again half way through making the steaks.  It is a new tank of gas so I am not sure why.  Had to finish the steaks on the stove.  Had a nice dinner and spent the night watching TV.  Tony was snoring on the couch by 8 PM.  I watched the TV Land awards and dragged him to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6 AM.  Before I could feed the dogs I was throwing up, or should I say gagging in the sink.  Hell, there is nothing in my stomach first thing in the morning but bile.  Got that out, haven't had to start my day doing this in a while.  Haven't missed it.  Fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and Tony eventually shoved the pills down Stella's throat as she spit them out over and over again.  I spent the morning doing things around the house.  Actually put a big mirror in the bedroom so BOTH of us can see the porn as we watch it, not just one of us.  Because of the positions it seems only one can always watch, and that always is Tony.  So now I can enjoy 'the movies' also looking at them with a big mirror on the side wall of the bedroom.  After lunch I decided to lay down for a while which turned into a two hour nap.  Was hoping it would be nicer outside when I got up, nope, still cloudy and in the 50s.  It is suppose to get nicer as the week goes on.  Put some laundry away and vacuumed.  Will soon start making salads for supper.  Thinking I will just make a frozen pizza to go with the salads since I don't feel like cooking.  Will spend the night watching TV.  Almost signed off without the best news of all.  My Mourning Dove must have laid some eggs because she has not left the nest since Friday afternoon.   I can not tell or see how many eggs.   Oh, one more thing ..... it has been one week without a cigarette.  Haven't even had to wear the patch the last couple days.  Seven days without a cig, I am proud of myself and just need to keep it going.   Have to take some deep breaths once in a while, but I have made it 7 days.

April 27, 2012 Friday Afternoon

Spent last night watching Grey's Anatomy and The Mentalist.  Went to bed around 10:20 PM after the weather on the news. 

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Tony gave Stella her 2 pills.  Went back to bed for an hour after Tony left for work.  Just laid there listening to music.  Got up around 9:30 AM and started the day over.  Had a bowl of cereal, showered, and did a little cleaning around the house.  Met Tony and the guys for lunch.  Had a great lunch as always.  Came home from lunch and since the sun was out and it feels warm enough outside I went for a long walk along the trails and pathway around the river.  Had a great walk.  It is in the 50s today in Milwaukee.  Suppose to be a cool weekend in the 40s.  Tonight we will spend the night watching TV with the dogs.  Will most likely make some salads for supper.  Will have to make a TV dinner or something more for Tony.  A salad will be enough for me because of the big lunch.  Tomorrow night we have plans to go to a fundraiser.  Should be a nice event.  I got free tickets.  It is a very classy, suit and tie event fundraiser for ARCW.  Will be nice to get dressed up and feel important for a night.  Other then that, not much on the schedule this weekend.  Since we are broke, Tony's business sucks this past week and last, we most likely will spend the weekend at home with the dogs watching TV. 

April 26, 2012 Thursday Afternoon

Spent last night watching TV on the DVR.  Have the DVR pretty much cleared except for a couple shows and their episodes.  Ended the night watching Don't Trust the B and Law and Order SVU.  Gave Tony a little lovin and we went to bed around 10:30 PM.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM.  Tony gave Stella her pills while I fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  I honestly don't know where the day has gone.  I did a little around the house and caught up on some magazines.  Paid some bills that just keep getting more expensive as the time goes on, I am talking about the ATT bill that went up again this month.  Also got the remainder of the amount owed on my HIV doctor visit in February, my part is $101.   The state was nice enough to pick up the other $80.   I saw my HIV doctor for less than 15 minutes the last time I had my blood tests, and he gets $180 for that 15 minutes.  No wonder the health care system in the USA is broken.  Made a ham sandwich with the last of the ham from yesterdays grocery shopping.   Laid down with the dogs for an hour or so this afternoon, and now it is close to 3 PM.  The sun is out but it is cold, it is only 45 degrees right now and now expected to go up much more.   We had a warmer March then April here in Wisconsin.  Making Sweet N Sour Chicken and Rice with a salad tonight.  Will spend the night watching TV.  Have actually made it through today, without a cig, and without the patch.  Since I don't plan on leaving the house I don't have any way of getting or having any cigs.  Still wish my lungs and chest would feel better.  Tomorrow is lunch with the guys and then the weekend is here.

April 25, 2012 Wednesday Afternoon

Tony and I did go out for tacos last night.  Had a large strawberry Margarita also.  A little after we got home Tony's sister called and needed car help.  So Tony left to go to the shop and get his battery charger and headed downtown to help his sister start her car.  Got home in about 45 minutes.  Spent the night watching TV.  Went to bed a little after 9 PM because I was so tired.  Did not sleep well.  I think it might be because of the nicotine patch so I will take it off prior to going to bed tonight.

Got up this morning around 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and Stella her pills.  Spent the early morning doing things around the house and reading the morning newspapers.  Went grocery shopping a little after 10 AM.  Got out to my car with the groceries and thought I had better look at my receipt because I bought 6 Kellogg's cereals because they had a deal going on if you buy 6 boxes they are just $1.98 a piece.   If you buy less than 6 boxes of the selected Kellogg's cereal they are then just on sale for $2.98 a box, which is still a good deal these days.  Have you seen the price of cereal lately?  Noticed that my receipt did not reflect the $1.98 price and I was charged $2.98 for each of the 6 boxes of cereal.  Got out of the car and went to the service desk.  After a little of this and that I finally got my $6 back that I should have not been charged due to buying 6 boxes of the Kellogg's cereal.  Hey, six dollars is six dollar in my mind.  I wonder how many other people got cheated before I brought it to the stores attention.   Got home and put all the groceries away.  Made myself a ham sandwich for lunch.  It is raining in Milwaukee today and in the low 50s.  Not a nice day.  So I loaded up the IPod and spent the afternoon listening to music on the couch with the dogs.  Making spaghetti and salads for supper tonight.  On my second day on the nicotine patch.  My lungs and back still hurt but I have to give this some time before I call the doctor.  Will spend the night watching TV with the dogs tonight.  Hoping to do some major mopping and cleaning tomorrow if I wake up with ambition.
Here is what the new flag, that will fly in the front yard, will look like.  I just have them adding a bit of white on the middle dog.  I think it is going to look great waving in the wind out front.

April 24, 2012 Tuesday Afternoon

I am so disappointed in Tony.  Yah, I guess that's what it is.  I guess I figured Tony would try to make some sort of effort when it came to my birthday.  I should know better after 23 years together.  I thought Tony would come home early from work since he knew it was my birthday and we were going out to eat.  Plus I thought that was the reason he called at 1:15 PM to ask when I would be up from napping.  I put a Viagra out and waited, and waited, and waited.  Finally around 6 PM he walks in the door with this torn gift bag and says 'here, happy birthday'.  I look inside the torn bag and there is a Play Station and about 10 kid games in the bag.  What is this I ask?  Tony then says he bought this for me for my birthday.  Well, after 23 years together you would think he would know I don't play video games and never have.  It is not like he went out and bought a game for the system he thought I would like.  Just these 10 kids games for children.  I guess some guy came by the shop selling stuff, probably is hot or doesn't even work.   Real effort there, hey?  OK.  So then I was not in a good mood and the arguing started.  Tony then got in the shower and after asked where I wanted to go to dinner.  He handed me my birthday card and I could not believe as I read it.  Basically the message was that he is my cake and I can enjoy him because it is my birthday.  What?  Wouldn't I be the one who should get the enjoyment or be pleased.  After 23 years, sorry, he is no present.   Tony then pointed out to me he bought me 6 roses.  Oh, lets go there.  He bought me 6 roses on his way home from work on Friday.  He forgot he had them in the car until Saturday night, 24 hours later.  The roses were not in water and in his hot car for 24 hours.  When he remembered them Saturday night he went out to his car, came in the house, set them on the kitchen counter, and said, 'here, happy birthday'.  So I guess I should be happy I got 6 roses that sat in a car for 24 hours with no water?   We finally decided to go to Harry's Bar and Grill since I was not hungry and didn't feel like sitting across the table from someone I think is a selfish person who never never puts any effort into an anniversary or event.  We had an OK supper and came home.  Spent the night in silence watching Dancing With The Stars.   Went to bed around 10 PM.  Glad I spent the morning doing Dave things because I guess the only happiness I am going to receive will be by my own doing.

Got up this morning around 7 AM so I would not have to talk to Tony much before he left for work.  Fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and Stella her pills.  Tony went to leave for work and grabbed the bag with the Play Station.  I asked what he was doing and he said since I didn't want it he would sell it.  I asked him if he planned on playing with it and he said 'no'.  I then asked him again why the hell he thought I would want to play this alone much less play it at all, since he doesn't plan on playing with it either.  He set down the bag and left for work.  Had my last cig and laid down for an hour thinking.  Got back up again around 9 AM and showered.  Did a little around the house and outside since it is sunny and going to be close to 60 degrees today.  I did put the nicotine patch on right after my shower so the quit smoking has begun.  My shoulders and chest still hurt and are not right so I have no choice but to quit.  I have to do this so if this doesn't help, it might be something more serious I will have to look into.  Will give the quiting a chance before I call the doctor again.  I am starting to think it might be a heart thing, which is scaring me.  I know I should not put this off to long if it is, so I will call the doctor if the not smoking doesn't help in the very near future.  Around noon I decided to go for a walk along the trails of the river.  Started on the Locust Street Bridge side and worked my way to the North Avenue Bridge.  When I got to the North Avenue bridge, the Milwaukee Dive Rescue was setting up ropes across the river to do a training exercises.  So I walked quickly back home and got my camera and a Granola Bar to go back down to the river and watching them practice and take some pictures of them and the trails.  The video posted is of the Milwaukee Dive Rescue practicing on the river under the North Avenue Bridge.  It is a short video.  Took the long way home and took pictures of the trails. 
I will post some of the 80 or more pictures I took on the trails once I look through them to pick out a couple of the best ones.  Tony just came home as I was typing this blog.  He had a wrapped plant in his hands and said 'hopefully this Birthday present is better than the other I got'.  It is a mum plant.  It smells great and I will plant it outside later in the season.  It was thoughtful of him so I will have to be nicer and just let this one go like I do all the other times.  The plant would have meant a whole lot more yesterday ON MY BIRTHDAY than as an I am sorry Birthday present a day after.  Oh well, he tried I guess and did think of me, that is my point in all this, isn't it?  Thinking we will go out for taco's tonight rather than cooking.  I still have not had a cig all day and I am really craving one.  Deep deep breaths, I can do it.

April 23, 2012 Monday Afternoon

Happy Birthday to me.  I am 51 years old today.

Saturday morning we got a call just before 10 AM that Barkley's ashes were ready to be picked up.  Tony went and got them and the urn I had picked out.  They had the ashes already in the urn when Tony returned with Barkley.  I took Stella to the vet to get shots and nails trimmed.  Turns out she has bad ear infections in both ears.  So now she is on ear drops and antibiotics, two pills, twice daily.  Trying to get her to not spit out the pills is a challenge.  She finds a way to not swallow the pill no matter if we put it in her food or a treat.  Damn dog, going to have to just thrust him down her throat if she don't take them with her food or treats.  Went to Menard's later in the afternoon and found a new carpet for the living room that we ended up buying.  Went out to lunch at Chili's.  Had a nice lunch.  Came home and spent the night watching TV on the DVR.  Went to bed around 10 PM.

Sunday morning we took Tony's mom out for breakfast.  She then wanted to go to Big Lots.  Got to Big Lots and she handed us the ad and told us what she wanted and said she would sit in the car.  Of course wasn't until we got her home we found out we got the wrong item and had to go back and get the right item and then back to her house.  Jeez, she complains about being so heavy and then can't even walk into a store.  She even at breakfast had the nerve to blame her heavy weight on 'Rosie', her ghost that lives in the attic.  What you say?   Yes, she blamed her weight on a ghost living in the attic named Rosie somehow making her fat.  WOW!   What a nut job.  Came home and spent the afternoon doing things around the house before taking a short nap with the dogs.  Got up and went to a church festival Tony entered a raffle item in.  Stayed for a while and then just picked up a pizza and came home.  Spent the night watching TV with the dogs.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs, gave Stella her pills and Vito his shot.  Put drops in Stella's ears.  Tomorrow I will have to clean them prior to the drops.  Showered and went to Menard's to get the smaller carpet to match the large one we bought on Saturday, for the dining room.  Got a couple other items also.  I then drove to Target to buy myself a Birthday present ...  a box of nicotine patches.  Figure if I am really going to do this I have to do it right and not just a day here and a day there.  Hopefully tomorrow will be the day I stop for good.  Stopped off at Starbucks and got myself a vanilla latte and then McDonald's for a bacon egg and cheese bagel.  Came home and put the carpets around the house and did a little rearranging.  Tried to take a short nap with the dogs but of course Tony called at 1:15 and the neighbor at 2 PM.  Jeez, they all know nap time is from 1 to 3 PM during the week.  Yet they call and the first thing they say is 'you aren't sleeping are you'?   Yes, I am, or trying, what time is it?   Finally just got up and now I type this post.  Tony will most likely come home early and we will go out for supper somewhere for my Birthday.  I picked up a small two person cake for later so Tony can sing Happy Birthday to me.  Will then just top off the night with some TV and lovin before going to sleep.  I have a Viagra pill waiting for him to take when he walks in the door.  Hey, it's my Birthday!  I am just happy I made it to 51 since 3 years ago I didn't not even think that was a reality or possible.

April 20, 2012 Friday Afternoon

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Went back and laid down in bed until about 10 AM.  Got showered and ready for lunch with the guys.  Before I left I noticed a package sitting out front on the stoop.  Figured it was for my tenant and was so surprised when I saw my name on the package.  It was a Birthday present filled with peanut butter cookies and peanut butter cups from my sister and her kids.  How sweet, they know I love peanut butter.  My Birthday is on Monday and I will be 51 years old.  Stopped off at Walgreen's to pick up Tony's prescription.  Got a number from the pharmacist of someone looking for a pet sitter, called her and left her a message a little while ago.  Figure I could help someone out knowing how hard it is to find anyone to take care of my dogs so I can go out of town.  Had a great lunch with the guys.  At one point I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.  It was a much needed laugh.  Spent the afternoon watching TV and reading a book my mom gave me.  Will most likely spend the night watching TV on the DVR.  No plans this weekend.  That is great because I could use the time just to relax with Tony and the dogs.  Have a good weekend everyone.  I am getting through each day, one day at a time.

April 19, 2012 Thursday Afternoon

Spent last night watching TV on the DVR.  Finished the night in bed watching Law And Order: SVU.  Went to bed around 10:20 PM.

This morning I was up at 6 AM.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Read a little of the morning newspaper before going back to bed and listening to some music with the dogs.  Listened to the new CD by Lionel Richie.  It is OK considering I do not like country music and it is his popular songs with a country twist to them.  Got back out of bed around 10 AM and showered.  Left the house around 11:30 AM to go to my 2 hour noon board meeting with ARCW.  Had a good meeting.  I was very quiet, probably the most quiet I ever am at a meeting.  Just didn't have the 'fight' in me today.  LOL.  Stopped off at the shop that made the plaque for the flag pole to pick it up.  Paid the bill and made it out of there without crying.  The plaque turned out great.  I will wait until the new flag is made to hang the new plaque for under it on the flag pole.  The flag company called today and said they have the old design, told them how I want the new flag, and they are emailing me a proof in a day or so.  Picked up some bread at the food pantry at ARCW for the new baby rabbit I have in the back yard.  I was so surprised. Last night I was looking in the back yard and could not believe my eyes when I saw a very small baby rabbit eating the bread I had just put out for the larger rabbit that I have been feeding for 3 years now.  So I guess I have baby rabbits because I am sure if there is one, there are more.  The nest must be in the back yard somewhere because the baby was way to small to have come from any distance.  It really made me smile.  I have been trying to keep this one rabbit, our first in 20 years, alive for the past 3 years.  I first noticed this rabbit shortly after I found out I was HIV+ and watched it daily as I cried looking out the front window deciding how I would continue life.  Now the circle of life has come full circle and I will have babies and hopefully more rabbits.  If only I can keep the stray cats out of the yard or neighborhood.  It is interesting how one looks at things a bit differently after they have a major even like I had this week.  As I was walking yesterday I stopped and sat down to look this huge tree that had fallen over in the wind or had gotten hit by lightning.  Even though the entire top of the tree was dead from slitting in half, laying on the ground dead, there were now new branches coming out of where the tree had split.  I sat there thinking, this huge tree could have just gave up and died, yet it decided to sprout new branches and try to survive even though it's entire top was dead.  I thought more about life, how we just through instinct, fight to continue to survive.  I must mention that the dogs have already ruined two of the new carpet with their nails snagging the carpets.  I am sure the two carpets will not last long.  Guess I just wasted $100 on those two new carpets.  On a good note.  Because of the new carpets and not having Barkley, the house smells so much nicer.  Or should I say, it doesn't smell like an old dog, Barkley.  Poor guy, but he did smell even with a bath once a week.  I also have only had to vacuum every other day rather than every day since he has been gone.  I still would put up with it all just to have him back.   Making a meat loaf and mashed potatoes for supper with a salad.  Will spend the night watching TV.  It is raining outside and in the 50s today in Milwaukee.

April 18, 2012 Wednesday Afternoon

Last night we did go to Hobo to shop for new carpets.  Stopped off at Taco Bell for supper prior to Big Lot.  Was a waste of time to bring Tony since he was no help choosing the carpets.  Every time I turned around to show him a carpet he was no where to be found and then would show up placing another item in the cart, not a carpet like we were there to shop for.   Ended up buying 5 carpets in various sizes.  Never did find a large one for the living room that we liked.  Will have to get one in the future.  Came home and spent the rest of the night watching TV, going to bed around 10:30 PM.

This morning I was up at 6 AM.  I did think of Barkley, but no tears, at least not immediately.  Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot.  Went grocery shopping in the morning.  Did a little more cleaning around the house.  Decided to go for a walk with Barkley, one last walk.  I held his collar the entire long walk along the river through the wood and along the paths.  Sat and talked with him.  Of course wouldn't you know the only person I would run into on the paths was my neighbor's son with his dog.  I am sure he now thinks I am a crazy old man, as he found me crying in the woods with my dead dogs collar.  Oh well, I stopped caring what people think of me long time ago.  I needed to do it for me.  Had to say my goodbyes and make some peace.  I hope Barkley is running around in heaven, healthy and not in pain, if there is a heaven.  Took over 2 hours walking and sitting by the river.  Ran out of Kleenex so I figured it was time to come home.  Got a call the flag pole plaque is done and ready to pick up.  I will pick it up tomorrow when I am downtown for my board meeting with ARCW.  Will most likely spend the night watching TV with the dogs.  It is truly amazing what a difference one less dog can do to a household.  He is very much missed.

April 17, 2012 Tuesday Afternoon

Spent last night watching Dancing With The Stars and then Castle before going to sleep. Watched the last half of Dancing and Castle in bed snuggling with Stella, Bo, Kali, Vito and Tony. Finally fell asleep sometime after 11 PM.

This morning I woke up at 4:30 AM and the first thought was 'Barkley'. The tears started flowing knowing he is no longer here. Got up and watching a little TV before Tony got up and we fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Barkley's favorite times of the day was breakfast and supper. Was hard not to have to feed a dog you fed for 4 years. Tony left for work around 7:30 AM. I then got on the computer and put all my Barkley pictures together so I could order copies at Walgreen's online. Ordered 13 pictures, one enlargement of Barkley in a 10 x 14, and a mix of all the pictures on one picture, an 8 x 10. Within an hour I got an email saying they were ready to be picked up. Called the store I order a plaque from to go on the flag pole to see if they still have the design, they did and after I emailed him the new picture to add and Barkley's information, he emailed me the following:

I told him to make it and let me know when it is done. I then called the flag company where I have the flag on the flag pole made to see if they still have the last design so I can add another Beagle to it. They have yet to call me back. Left for Walgreen's around 10:45 AM and picked up the pictures. I then went to Little Cesar's and picked up two pizza's and dropped them off at the vet to thank them for yesterday since I am sure they were affected by the howling and all also, much less seeing us walk out in tears with the body of Barkley. They thanked me. I also made an appointment for Saturday to bring Stella in for her shots and nail trim that was suppose to take place yesterday instead of Barkley. I figure on Saturday I will take Stella while Tony stays home with the other dogs. I can't have them see another brother or sister walk out the door wondering if they will return. Having one of us home will help. I know, I am nuts. Stopped off at the neighbor for a quick cry and came back home. Hung the large picture I had made in a frame I bought in the bedroom with Tiny's, Shadow's, Betty and Buddy's. Put the other pictures on the dining room table for Tony to see before I put them in the photo album. Sucks now that everything is digital. I didn't have one hard copy picture of Barkley except for Christmas cards. I now have some I can look at on paper. It might sound crazy but I have to do everything I did for the other, now dead dogs, like adding a pic of him to the flag and plaque and picture in the bedroom, or I will forever feel like I slighted Barkley in some way. I don't want him feeling like he was less than the others in any way. I know he is gone and only I know this, but I have to live with the decisions made. Put on some slow sad music and spent some time on the bed with the dogs. Not in the mood to cook tonight. Last night the neighbor was so nice. She sent over a plate of food for the both of us. How thoughtful knowing what we are going through. Guess I ment to say an IV tube rather than catheter like I did in yesterday's now corrected post. Tonight I am hoping to go to Hobo with Tony to buy some new carpets for the house. Cleaning the smell from Barkley is impossible and new ones have to be bought. Still can't get that sound of Barkley out of my head as they tried to euthanize him. I guess it will take time. I keep going back and forth with the thought 'was I a good daddy', and 'I wish I wouldn't have yelled at him for this or that'. I have to stop beating myself up and know I did the best I could humanly do with him. I guess my thought is: It sucks to wish you were nicer to someone after they are gone.

April 16, 2012 RIP Barkley

Barkley was sent to play with Tiny, Shadow, Betty and Buddy at 9:45 AM today. It was the worst experience of my life. I thought being the fifth dog it would be easier. It was not.

Made some big steaks for supper last night. Neither of us was hungry and ate less than half so I cut up the rest for Barkley to eat on his way to the vet. Spent the night on the floor with the dogs watching TV. Eventually I slept in the living room with Barkley, Kali, and Vito. Tony slept in the bedroom with Stella and Bo. Went to bed around 10 PM. Here is a pic of our sleeping in the living room.

Was up this morning by 5 AM. Didn't sleep much all night knowing what today would be like. I never imagined in my worst dreams how it would end. I called the vet a 8:30 AM and asked if they could get us in any earlier than our 11 AM appointment, since seeing Barkley try to walk or be comfortable was not pleasant to watch. The vet said we could come in at 9:30 AM with the same doctor. I took the appointment time since I honestly could not sit here another couple hours waiting for what we were about to do. I thought I had everything covered. I pulled the car around back and put the blanket and storage container in the front seat. Got the steak out to guide Barkley to the car. Took him out the side of the house rather than the back stairs to make it easier on him. Used the dog stairs and steak to get him into the back seat of the car. Got him to the vet with only one pain noise as Tony took a corner. I sat in the back seat with Barkley. Used the steak and dog stairs to get him out of the car and walked him into the vet. Weight him at 40.1 lbs and took him into the room. Had to give Barkley the rest of the steak since he was going crazy, but was having a hard time standing. When the doctor came in we told her we are ready, we know it is time, he doesn't need to be examined. The doctor then said she would first take him into the back and put a IV tube in him so it would be a smoother ordeal when they inject him into the IV rather than trying to find a vein in front of us. I walked him into the back to the door and they took him in the back. After a little while I could hear him howling in pain in the back room. I immediately thought, not the left leg, that one hurts him. I opened the door and the vet had Barkley in her arms, Barkley howling in pain. I screamed, put him down, you can't hold him, it hurts to much. They put him down on the blanket I had laid out and he was hopping in pain howling. I told the doctor to just 'do it'. Barkley kept squirming and howling as she tried to get the needle in the IV. I yelled again, just do it. The doctor said first, 'I am trying', and then 'I am'. I then told Barkley he was a good boy and how much I loved him. In a little while Barkley laid lifeless in my arms. I swear this was the most horrible experience of my life. The sounds of Barkley howling in pain his last few minutes will haunt me the rest of my life. Here I thought I thought of everything. I forgot to tell the doctors and nurse 'not to pick him up'. How could I forget that? I knew, that is why we did all we did just to get him to the vet. Barkley, I am so sorry. Paid the bill and wrapped Barkley in a blanket and carried him to the car. Put him in the storage container and drove home. Set the container on the kitchen floor and tipped it sideways so the four other dogs could smell Barkley and know where their brother is, or what happened to their brother. All the dogs sniffed Barkley. Stella even nudged him a bit to see if he would move. It was heart breaking. Drove Barkley to Pet Lawn on the north side of town and dropped off his body. Said my last goodbyes, and drove home. I just took a Valium and sinus pill to hopefully get through the afternoon. What a horrible experience, and to think I will have to do this at least four more times. Here is another picture of my Barkley when he was happy and healthy. I'm going to lay down and hug my other four dogs all afternoon.

Barkley
Adopted 9/25/2008 at the age of 8 - My memories:

I went to the Waukesha Humane Society on a Friday September 25th, 2008 to turn over a dog we had taken in for a few days from a family that did not want him because he was too ‘puppy like’ and full of energy. We tried to have him here but he was too much of a handful at the time. When I dropped Nena at the Waukesha Humane Society my sister Penny, who works / volunteers
there, suggested I check out a Beagle named Barkley who had been at the shelter for about 3 months. He was 8 years old. I took Barkley for a walk outside for a while and then decided to talk to the staff about fostering him and possibly adopting if he worked out. I filled out the paperwork and took Barkley to the car. He jumped into the front passenger seat and sat there the entire ride home. He was happy to be riding in a car and had obviously done it before. He was so good the entire ride home as I talked to him about where he was headed.
When we arrived at home I took him out of the car and slowly walked him into the house, not knowing how he would get along with the other dogs, especially Stella. He walked right in
like we had just taken a walk and was coming back home, like he had been here before. The other dogs did not mind a bit that another dog was coming into their lives.

The first night when we went to bed I remember Barkley sitting on the floor at the side of the
bed. I told him to come on up onto the bed with his daddies. He jumped up and had the happiest look on a dogs face I had ever seen. After sleeping in the shelter for 3 months on a cold floor listening to so many other dogs barking, I could tell he was so happy. He snuggled up next to me and had this happy happy look on his face. A soft bed to sleep on with other dogs and two daddies, what more could he have wished for?

Barkley really only played with Vito. Stella was too rough, Kali didn’t have a need for him. But Vito always got along with everyone and Barkley took to him. They wrestle often and humped each other.

When ever you go to pet Barkley he turns his body to sit with his back to you like a ‘pretty
boy’. It is like someone trained him to sit nice when he is petted. That or the fact he is just so happy to get attention. This was the way Barkley always was. Happy to get attention.

I one night started talking ‘baby talk’ to him on the bed. He loved it. He kept trying to
bury his head under my body to play. The more I talked baby talk the more playful he got. He has always been such a happy boy to have come home here.

I assume he got his name Barkley because he does love to bark.
When he wants something or plays with Vito he barks loudly nonstop. Otherwise he is always happy to just find a spot on the bed, chair or couch and what the world go by around him. He does get along with all the dogs and snuggles with them napping or sleeping.

Barkley always had skin and allergy problems which was one of the reasons his past owners decided to give him up for adoption. We ended up switching him to an AIMS Skin and Coat food after about a month or more on antibiotics. The special food did seem to help. That and frequent baths. Being a Beagle, he did need his ears cleaned often.

Barkley loves to go for walks, sit by his daddy, or snuggle to sleep next to Tony or I at night. I can not imagine how someone could have given him up for adoption. He is the perfect pet.

April 15, 2012 Sunday Dinner Time

We went to Menard's around lunch time yesterday for a few items I wanted, but didn't truly need. I honestly just had to get out of the house for an hour or so and get my mind together. I did buy a big storage container to transport him in after the deed is done. I also have a blanket ready to wrap him in. I have gotten very little sleep the past few nights having to keep an arm on Vito and an eye on Barkley all night. The thunder storms we had last night didn't help anyone sleep around here. Made it through the day yesterday after we got back from Menard's by just watching TV and laying on the floor with Barkley. Too bad the other dogs just don't get what is happening so that I could concentrate on him and not have to give the other 4 attention. Tony is of little help since they want to be by me all the time. After we fed the dogs supper Barkley laid down for a while so we decided to quickly walk up the block and get some supper for ourselves. Ate and came home. I spent the night on the futon mattress with Barkley watching the Titanic specials on ABC all night. At 10 PM I went to let all the dogs out, last time for the night. Barkley got half way down the ramp outside and started howling in pain and could not move. I yelled for Tony and could not believe when I heard him yell back ' I'm peeing'. Jeezes fuck. So stop peeing and get in here. Sometimes I hate Tony. Got Barkley back in the house, he did not pee, and got him in his enclosed area. Gave him a dog pain pill and talked about taking him to emergency. We have a Monday 11 AM appointment to euthanize him so we are just trying to make it to that time and have it done by the vets I know rather than a cold emergency vet room with people I don't know or trust. Barkley settled down and I called the emergency vet and asked a few questions like if they got the paperwork from our vet and if it would be OK anytime if something happens to rush him in. Got a yes to both. I had our vet fax his paperwork on Friday so there would be less confusion if we took him in to the emergency hospital. I then also asked if they knew of a vet that comes to the house I could contact so we can have it done here, if needed. They gave me a web sight and name so I got on my laptop in bed and looked into it. Barkley made it through the night, no help from the thunderstorms at 4 AM.

Got up at 5 AM, fed the dogs around 6 AM and sent an email to the person who could come to the house to contact me. I was surprised when she called back so early on a Sunday. She said she could come over and do it for $300. Well, that is a lot of money. But it is still on option if we can't get him out of the house on Monday or before if needed. I then called my sister for some dog advice. We both agreed the best thing would be to try to keep Barkley calm and comfortable all day and take him to our regular vet as scheduled tomorrow at 11 AM. We agreed I will feel better getting a final word from a vet I know. Plus I have the two back up options of emergency or the home care vet if something changes and I see Barkley needs to be put to sleep sooner than Monday. Around 10 AM I was hungry and showered and we decided to go out to breakfast, get lottery tickets and come home to spend the rest of Barkley's last day. We have just been laying around watching TV with Barkley and the dogs all day. I know my dogs, so I have to say Barkley is 'uncomfortable', he is not in great pain or miserable. I would never let that happen. If he was I would take him in immediately to emergency. It is now close to supper time for the dogs and Tony and I. We are making some steaks on the grill. I will most likely share mine with Barkley. His last supper and all. I have the futon still on the living room floor and plan on sleeping in the living room with Barkley, Vito and Kali tonight. Stella and Bo will most likely sleep on the bed in the bedroom. I just have to do this one last night so I know I did all I could for him and show him I love him. I know he loves me. So now it is just the waiting game until tomorrow at 11 AM when we euthanize him. I fucking hate this. My face is swollen from crying and I feel so tired. It just sucks I have four more dogs and will have to go through this again four more times, at least. I am sure tomorrow morning will drag on and on until 11 AM gets here. I will be a mess, but strong enough to do what must be done. I will use the dog stairs we have to try to get him to walk up into the car tomorrow. I hope it works. After we euthanize him we will bring the body home so the other dogs can smell him, know what has happened to their brother, and then we will then take him to the dog pet cemetery on the north side where the other four dogs have been cremated, to be cremated. So tomorrow will be a long horrible day. I will write when I get myself time and together. God I hate this waiting for the inevitable.

April 14, 2012 Saturday Morning

Tony got home last night at 5 PM and helped me feed the dogs. Barkley ate his food and seemed tired, and wanting to sleep. You could cut the tension with a knife in our house as Tony and I tried to decide what to do. We finally agreed to take a 'wait and see' approach as the night went on. Figured if we took him to emergency right now, we would euthanize him. So we decided what is the difference if we go now, or at 1 AM in the morning if something changes. So we spent the night with the dogs. Knowing that this could be one of his last nights I decided to get the futon mattress from the basement and put it in the living room so I could sleep on the floor with Barkley considering it could be his last night. Spent the night on the floor with Barkley, Vito and Kali. Tony slept next to us on the couch with Stella and Bo. Made it through the night, slept like crap and was up every half hour or so to check on where everyone was. Vito being blind and all this was strange for him sleeping on the floor on a mattress. This morning Barkley looks better but I still know something is wrong and the end is near. I think the plan is going to go like this. I will call the vet this morning and see if we can get him in to see them. If we can not, I will switch out Stella's Monday appointment for Barkley, if he makes it until Monday. I will not let him live in pain so the minute I feel it is time, he will go to emergency or the vet and do what needs to be done. Trust me, I have put down four other dogs I loved a lot more than him and made it through the ordeal. If Barkley can make it until 11 AM on Monday, I think that will be it for him. If I see anything before that, then the emergency room will be what we do. I slept on the floor with Barkley last night so I have no regrets when the time comes to say goodbye to him. I need to know in my heart and mind that I did all I could to make him happy during his last days or hours. I know how not doing this can haunt the mind a lifetime. So that is where we stand at this point. Kind of a wait and see, but know the end it very near. I will update with more if something happens. Other than that it is suppose to be in the 70s today and Sunday and I am sure we will spend most of the time around the house, giving Barkley the bulk of attention. I am glad I did not take him to emergency last night, but I do know that only gave me a day or two, the end result will be the same whether it is today or tomorrow or Monday. So damn hard to do this stuff, but trust me, I can do it. I love my dogs that much.

April 13, 2012 Friday Afternoon

Have to type fast. Had a great lunch with the guys. Came home and Barkley was not right. Something is wrong. He could hardly walk and I could tell he was in pain. Got him out to go potty and he laid down on a chair. When I went to pick him up he cried. Got him on the bed and we laid down for an hour or so. When I tried to get him off the bed he cried loudly in pain. Evenutally got him off the bed and called the vet. Being so late in the day they can not see him. Called Tony and told him to pay the employees and get home so we can take Barkley to emergency. I have a feeling this is the end for Barkley. I will fill you in more as I get time. Pray for Barkley. Barkley is over 12 years old and has many tumors around his body. I think something exploded inside of him. I hate these days.

April 12, 2012 Thursday Afternoon

Saw the play West Side Story with my parents and Tony last night. My parents loved the show and the seats. Actually this was the first play I didn't have to nudge Tony and wake him during the performance. I am sure the 20 or so hot guys playing the gang members helped. Tony had the binoculars to his face for almost the entire show. LOL. Got home a little after 10 PM and after some TV went to bed.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Got off to a slow start and felt tired during the early morning hours. Made some finishing touches on the front wall, I only need two bags of black lava rock to finish the project. Will get them this weekend. Filled the pond with water because we have not had rain in so long it was down an inch or more. I did forget I had the hose on and when I looked the pond was over flowing. Oh well, it is full now. Went for a long walk to Pick N Save bank and deposited a check. Took the long walk along the river back home. Got home and laid on the couch for an hour listening to music. After an hour I just had to get up and start doing more. The sun is out and it is in the 50s, very nice. Dragged the lawn mower around the block to cut the little grass we had. Was happy I was able to start the damn thing after dragging it around the block. It is an old lawn mower and if we had more grass to cut we would get a new one. Making spaghetti for dinner with a salad. Will spend the night watching TV on the DVR. Here is a pic of the final block replacement of the front retaining wall. You can compare it to the pics the other day and see the change I made at the bottom of the stairs and sidewalk. I like it much better and happy I made the change. Of course now you can see we really need to repair the steps of the sidewalk. Always something.

April 11, 2012 Wednesday Afternoon

Got up this morning at 6:30 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Spent the early morning outside fixing the bottom wall in the pictures yesterday. I did not like the way it was squared off at the bottom and made the two high wall rounded at the base of the sidewalk, like the wall behind it. I like how it turned out. After I was done I showered and went grocery shopping. Didn't spend a lot and just bought mostly produce and dairy. Came back and after a can of soup for lunch I took a two hour nap with the dogs since tonight we go to see the play West Side Story with my parents. They are driving into town and we are all going to the play together. The people who usually have the seats next to us are out of town and I bought them off them and my parents are using their tickets. Should be a good show. The music of West Side Story is always good, hope the acting is as good. Just making a frozen pizza for supper. Thought today might be the day the Mourning Doves lay their eggs. The mother spent the entire morning in the nest. I just checked the nest, since the birds are gone, and no eggs yet. She must just to practicing. I know the male bird was bringing her twigs all morning as she laid in the nest. Maybe tomorrow, it is going to be any day now. Was in the low 50s and sunny today in Milwaukee.

April 10, 2012 Tuesday Afternoon

Spent last night watching Dancing With The Stars. To close to call as to who will go home tonight. Went to bed around 10 PM after a little lovin.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Decided to work on the front retaining wall. I never liked how I had set up the stairwell so I basically dug out both corners and then rebuilt the wall in a curve to the stairwell. Here is a picture of the stairs with one side finished and the other still squared off at the steps.

Spent the entire morning working on the wall and got it all done looking nice. Here is the wall stairwell finished. I think it looks much better with curves than corners.
Of course when I was finished my back was killing me. I am getting to old and do not have the back for this kind of work anymore. Went to Walgreen's and got my prescriptions and a foot long chicken sub at Cousins. Took a much needed nap with the dogs. Still having a hard time even typing and waking up and I have had a half a cup of coffee already. It is quite cool in Milwaukee today. It is in the 40s and cloudy. Glad I got my work done this morning outside while the sun was out. Much colder now that the sun is behind the clouds. Will spend the night watching the Dancing Results before going to bed. Going to take a pain pill and head to the couch after I spell check.

April 9, 2012 Monday Afternoon

Friday night we watched the movie War Horse. Very very good movie. I recommend it. There was one part when we had to turn away, when the horse gets caught in the barb wire, but it has a happy ending. War Horse was a very good movie, rent it. Went to bed around 10:30 PM.

Saturday morning Tony went to work for a while and I did things around the house. When he got home and showered we went to lunch. Came home and spent the rest of the day watching TV and doing things around the house. Very uneventful day. Went to bed around 10 PM.

Sunday was Easter. We got up around 7 AM and after feeding the dogs and giving Vito his shot, we spent the morning reading the newspaper and watching TV. I showered early and went and got lottery tickets around 11 AM, also picked up a few items at the grocery store, like flowers for Tony's mom. Met Tony's mom, sister, son, and friend for Easter brunch in St Francis at a nice restaurant. We had a 1PM reservation. Thankfully we were all on time and got a seats at the bar to wait for our table. We waited and waited. Finally around 1:30 Tony's sister went up to find out what was the hold up. She came back and we waited another 10 minutes and I then said 'I will take care of this'. I went up to the front dest and asked for the manager, explained to him we were not happy and it is now 1:45 and we had a 1 PM reservation. He said he would get us the next table. As I looked at the reservation list I could see some how they skipped us and just went on filling tables. Our pager never went off, I think they just honestly skipped us. I then told the manager the only thing at this point that is going to put a smile on my family and my face is if he buys us all a drink for this inconvenience. He agreed and we all got a free drink and continued to wait, and wait, and wait. Finally at 2:15 I had had enough and went up to the front desk again to find out what the hell was the problem. I got loud and we got a table immediately. The manager then wanted to talk to me outside and I started to follow him and then decided the hell with it and told him I waited long enough to eat and I was getting some food. We all ate all we could and had a nice enough lunch. The manager even came by a few time and when we told him some other problems he bought us all another round of drinks and gave us a $25 gift card to use towards the Easter brunch. We were the last of the brunch rush and almost the last to leave the restaurant. Thankfully for the free drinks and the $25 gift card the bill for the five of us was still $170. WTF? I guess each brunch was $23 a piece. We will not do this again. Paid for ours and Tony's moms brunch and we all said our goodbyes. Tony's sister gave us each a small Easter basket, which was thoughtful. One more thing I have to comment on. The sisters son, who has no money and never offers to pay his part of course had to order top shelf liquor when he ordered his drink. I hate when free loaders do this crap. Hell, if someone else is buying your drink you drink what they are drinking or something similar. You don't order a drink with top shelf liquor. Of course he just drank, ate and got up from the table like it was all for free. Guess this is why we love some family members more than others. Gave Tony's mom her flowers I bought before we all left. Got home and it was close to 4 PM. Spent the rest of the day watching TV and loosening our pants. LOL Went to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Tony left for work around 7:20 AM. After reading the newspaper and watching Live With Kelly I showered and drove to Home Depot to buy some bags of lava rock needed in the front outside wall. Bought six bags and after putting them out I realized I needed at least 8 more bags. Went back to Home Depot, thankfully it is only a mile or two away, and bought the 8 more bags. Came home and put them all out. I still need two bags at least of the black lava rock, but all they had was the brown. I have both colors, the black as a border. Will get the black rock later in the season or at a store that has it when I see them. I can live for a while the way it all is. Laid back and listened to some music this afternoon with the dogs all on the couch next to me. It is in the high 50s today and the sun is out. Nice enough for me to do things outside as needed. Our Mourning Doves from last year are back and keep going to the nest and fixing it, getting it ready for the next batch of eggs and babies. With the security camera on the nest I can see it perfectly. Will be fun to watch the whole process from eggs to chicks like I did last Summer. Hoping they hold off laying the eggs through this week since it is suppose to get below freezing a couple nights this week. Wanted to buy some plants and flowers today at Home Depot, but held off because of the freeze warning the middle of the week. Making a beef roast, baked potato and salads for supper tonight. Will spend the night watching Dancing With The Stars. Hope everyone had a great Easter. Will most likely go to Menard's and buy some bags of black lava rock tomorrow since I now feel the need to finish that project. If it wasn't so late in the day I would go there now.

April 6, 2012 Friday Afternoon

I got asked at lunch today why I didn't post yesterday. The simple answer was I had nothing to say. I honestly did so little yesterday I didn't think I should post and say I did 'nothing' all day. LOL. Of course I had the usual daily duties to do during the course of the day like feeding the dogs, laundry and vacuuming the house, but other than that, I spent the day watching TV and listening to music. Spent last night watching the Idol Results, Grey Anatomy and The Mentalist before going to bed.

This morning I was up at the usual 6:30 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. I have no clue where the morning went. I read both newspapers and took a shower and soon it was time to meet the guys for lunch. I don't feel so bad since when I asked Tony at lunch how his morning was and he said 'I don't know where it went', I felt we were on the same page. Even so, I am sure he has more to show for his day than I did. Had a great lunch with the guys. After lunch I drove to the pet store to buy another bag of Grain Free dog food for Barkley. Not that I think it is doing much, but I have to at least try for a while and see if there is a difference in his skin and allergies. Bought the food and a bag of bird food for the wild birds Tony feeds each morning. Total came to $70. Drove the long way home through the park and after being home for a while I thought I should either take a nap or go for a walk. Decided the better option would be the walk, so I took a long walk along the river and trails. The trees are budding so in a month or so the trails will be even more beautiful then they are now. Now you can see everything through the bushes. Once the trees and bushes are full of leaves it will be pretty but the view of what you can see will be blocked. Either way I am really enjoying walking along the river and paths. I today stopped and talked with two people. I felt like the old guy who has no one to talk to and you hope would just walk away when he starts talking to you. LOL. Oh well, I am now an old guy with not much in my life. I still do like my life and would not trade it for anything. The only plans we have this weekend is to meet Tony's mom and sister at a restaurant for brunch on Easter Sunday. Not seeing my family this Easter but I will see them this Wednesday when we go to a play together here in Milwaukee. Hopefully I can get Tony to take a long walk with me on the trails on Saturday. There is so much to see and I still see new things every time I walk. So, with that I come to a close and say Happy Easter to all my followers. Have a great day, make the most of it, and give someone a hug.

April 4, 2012 Wednesday Afternoon

Spent the morning working outside in the front yard. The two brick high retaining wall in the front of the main wall needed some work. Some of the bricks had sunk in and some stuck out and the wall was not straight. Took the wall apart and spread two bags of dirt to help the sinking bricks. These are big wall bricks and my back is now killing me. But, it feels good. I am just thankful I can still do projects like this even though it is more painful than it was years ago when I first made the wall. Made a sandwich for lunch and then took a walk to Pick N Save to buy a couple items I had coupons for to take advantage of the double coupon day. Bought a pie and some raspberries along with a couple other items. The pie was on sale from $7.99 to $5.00 and then I had a $1 coupon which was doubled. So I got this turtle cream pie for $3, not a bad deal. Of course this savings only makes me happy, Tony could care less and would wonder why I just didn't buy it yesterday. Went over and talked with the neighbor about last nights Dancing With The Stars elimination. Came back home and made some salads for supper. Just going to fry up last night's spaghetti for Tony to go with the salad. I will just have a TV dinner or something. Will spend the night watching American Idol. Felt good to work outside and then take a walk through the trails. I am going to enjoy this Summer and the trail. Once the leaves come I will take some pictures. I did see a snake today in the grass. I do not like snakes. It was about a foot and a half long. Just kinda stayed away from it. They make my skin crawl. I hate spiders and snakes. It was in the high 40s again today and the sun was out. It would probably seem cool in the middle of Summer, but this time of year in Wisconsin it is perfect and could be worse.

April 3, 2012 Tuesday Afternoon

Got up this morning at 6:30 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Left the house around 10 AM and went to ARCW to get my month of prescriptions and food. Came home and left a little later to go to Pick N Save to make a deposit and buy some food items like milk and salad. Came home and after making myself a ham sandwich I took a nice 2 hour nap with the dogs. Slept like a baby. Was hard to get my mind going again after the nap. Took a cup of coffee and I still could use another. Making spaghetti and salad for supper tonight. Will most likely watch the results of Dancing With The Stars tonight. They all were so good last night it will be hard to say goodbye to anyone. My lungs and back still hurt but I figure it will take a while for the antibiotic to work. No call from the doctor on my chest xray, which tells me it must have been clear and OK. In the high 40s again today in Milwaukee. The sun was out on and off, but it could have been a bit warmer if we were not so close to Lake Michigan.

April 2, 2012 Monday Afternoon

Can you believe it is April already?

Friday night we did go to the fund raiser for Brew City Bully Breed. It was at a downtown night club and I was not sure how finding parking would be. I knew all was in alignment when we pulled up in front of the bar and the parking space on the street right in front, first spot, was empty. We parked the car and went in the night club. I said hello to the people we knew including the lady in charge of the event. I told her I still remember the great band they had two years ago at that fundraiser, Left On Sunset. She said to me, 'I got them back this year'. I knew we were in for a good night. Got a table right in front of the band stage and spent the night listening to good music, having good finger food, a couple drinks and even a few jello shots. Got home a little after 10 PM and watched a little TV before going to bed for a little lovin.

Saturday morning I got up at 7 AM. Tony was already up and reading the morning newspaper. I fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Spent the morning watching home improvement shows. Around 11:45 AM we left to go to a 12:15 PM showing of The Hunger Games. Guess I looked at the time wrong in the newspaper because the next showing was at 12:45, not 12:15. I had brought an ad for a restaurant that I wanted to go to after the movie and when I told Tony about it he said 'its right there'. So we walked the half block and ate lunch before the movie The Hunger Games. Lunch was good and I would return. Got the usual large popcorn and soda at the movie, not that we were hungry from lunch, but you just gotta to have the movie experience. The Hunger Games was very good. I expected a bit more, but was pleased with the movie and would recommend it. Might even pick up the second book now since the next movie doesn't come out for 18 months. Came home after the movie and spent the rest of the day watching TV on the DVR before going to bed around 10:30 PM after another round of lovin.

Sunday morning we were up by 7 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Spent the morning reading the Sunday newspaper and made breakfast. Around noon we decided to drive to Seven Mile Fair. A big indoor and outdoor rummage sale type place south of Milwaukee. Bought a bunch of crap we didn't need. Thankfully it was little things and it didn't add up to much, duct tape, tooth pics, a cake pan, strawberries and some rolls of paper towel for Tony's auto body shop. So we did good not buying anything expensive we didn't need. I was looking for a new leather jacket, but they had nothing. Came home and Tony wanted some lovin. I swear the more I give him, the more he wants. So we did the deed and spent the rest of the day watching a couple movies and TV on the DVR. Watched the movies Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close and Breaking Wind. Extremely Loud ... was great. GREAT! It is a sad story about a kid who lost his father on 9/11 and what it did to him, his mom, and the people he meets finding the lock for a key he found. It was really good and I recommend it. Breaking Wind was a knock off of Breaking Dawn and not worth even going into details. It was not good, had it's moments, but toilet humor. Rent or go see Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close, it is that good. Went to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6:30 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Had my last cigarette, LAST, and took a shower. Put on the nicotine patch and got on with the day. Went to my 12:15 PM doctor appointment. Like I said before, the doctor is on her time, not yours. Sat in the room until 1:45 PM. She looked at me and got me some prescriptions, gave me a bronchial mist treatment and sent be downstairs for a chest xray. Will find out the results of the xray when she calls me. My chest, back and lungs still hurt a lot. Left the doctors office at 3:45 PM. I hate how long it takes and being my first day without a cig it took a lot of deep breaths. Stopped at Walgreen's to pick up the antibiotic. I am now on the antibiotic Cefdinir 300 MG. Guess it is for my lung infection. The doctor said I have a bronchial infection. So I guess this is the perfect time to quite smoking anyway right? Hell I even made it in and out of Walgreen's without buying a pack and that is where they are the cheapest. Got home a little after 4 PM and thought I better get a post out before I begin supper. Making some salads to go along with sweet and sour chicken and rice. Will spend the night watching Dancing With The Stars and Castle. It was in the high 40s today and the sun was out. Could be a little warmer, but I am not complaining. Still taking deep breaths, wish me luck this time quiting. I honestly have to quit. HAVE TO!