April 24, 2012 Tuesday Afternoon

I am so disappointed in Tony.  Yah, I guess that's what it is.  I guess I figured Tony would try to make some sort of effort when it came to my birthday.  I should know better after 23 years together.  I thought Tony would come home early from work since he knew it was my birthday and we were going out to eat.  Plus I thought that was the reason he called at 1:15 PM to ask when I would be up from napping.  I put a Viagra out and waited, and waited, and waited.  Finally around 6 PM he walks in the door with this torn gift bag and says 'here, happy birthday'.  I look inside the torn bag and there is a Play Station and about 10 kid games in the bag.  What is this I ask?  Tony then says he bought this for me for my birthday.  Well, after 23 years together you would think he would know I don't play video games and never have.  It is not like he went out and bought a game for the system he thought I would like.  Just these 10 kids games for children.  I guess some guy came by the shop selling stuff, probably is hot or doesn't even work.   Real effort there, hey?  OK.  So then I was not in a good mood and the arguing started.  Tony then got in the shower and after asked where I wanted to go to dinner.  He handed me my birthday card and I could not believe as I read it.  Basically the message was that he is my cake and I can enjoy him because it is my birthday.  What?  Wouldn't I be the one who should get the enjoyment or be pleased.  After 23 years, sorry, he is no present.   Tony then pointed out to me he bought me 6 roses.  Oh, lets go there.  He bought me 6 roses on his way home from work on Friday.  He forgot he had them in the car until Saturday night, 24 hours later.  The roses were not in water and in his hot car for 24 hours.  When he remembered them Saturday night he went out to his car, came in the house, set them on the kitchen counter, and said, 'here, happy birthday'.  So I guess I should be happy I got 6 roses that sat in a car for 24 hours with no water?   We finally decided to go to Harry's Bar and Grill since I was not hungry and didn't feel like sitting across the table from someone I think is a selfish person who never never puts any effort into an anniversary or event.  We had an OK supper and came home.  Spent the night in silence watching Dancing With The Stars.   Went to bed around 10 PM.  Glad I spent the morning doing Dave things because I guess the only happiness I am going to receive will be by my own doing.

Got up this morning around 7 AM so I would not have to talk to Tony much before he left for work.  Fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and Stella her pills.  Tony went to leave for work and grabbed the bag with the Play Station.  I asked what he was doing and he said since I didn't want it he would sell it.  I asked him if he planned on playing with it and he said 'no'.  I then asked him again why the hell he thought I would want to play this alone much less play it at all, since he doesn't plan on playing with it either.  He set down the bag and left for work.  Had my last cig and laid down for an hour thinking.  Got back up again around 9 AM and showered.  Did a little around the house and outside since it is sunny and going to be close to 60 degrees today.  I did put the nicotine patch on right after my shower so the quit smoking has begun.  My shoulders and chest still hurt and are not right so I have no choice but to quit.  I have to do this so if this doesn't help, it might be something more serious I will have to look into.  Will give the quiting a chance before I call the doctor again.  I am starting to think it might be a heart thing, which is scaring me.  I know I should not put this off to long if it is, so I will call the doctor if the not smoking doesn't help in the very near future.  Around noon I decided to go for a walk along the trails of the river.  Started on the Locust Street Bridge side and worked my way to the North Avenue Bridge.  When I got to the North Avenue bridge, the Milwaukee Dive Rescue was setting up ropes across the river to do a training exercises.  So I walked quickly back home and got my camera and a Granola Bar to go back down to the river and watching them practice and take some pictures of them and the trails.  The video posted is of the Milwaukee Dive Rescue practicing on the river under the North Avenue Bridge.  It is a short video.  Took the long way home and took pictures of the trails. 
I will post some of the 80 or more pictures I took on the trails once I look through them to pick out a couple of the best ones.  Tony just came home as I was typing this blog.  He had a wrapped plant in his hands and said 'hopefully this Birthday present is better than the other I got'.  It is a mum plant.  It smells great and I will plant it outside later in the season.  It was thoughtful of him so I will have to be nicer and just let this one go like I do all the other times.  The plant would have meant a whole lot more yesterday ON MY BIRTHDAY than as an I am sorry Birthday present a day after.  Oh well, he tried I guess and did think of me, that is my point in all this, isn't it?  Thinking we will go out for taco's tonight rather than cooking.  I still have not had a cig all day and I am really craving one.  Deep deep breaths, I can do it.