June 5, 2012 Tuesday Afternoon

Late yesterday afternoon I went to the dollar store, Big Lots and then picked up the $10 box pizza special from Pizza Hut for supper.  On the way home I drove past Tony's shop and noticed our truck not there at 4:20 PM.   It was not there an hour ago when I drove to the stores either.  So I called Tony on my cell phone at the shop to see if he was there and where our truck is.  When I called Tony at the shop he was there, so I asked him where our truck was since I did not see it out front.  That is when the BIG FIGHT began.  He told me Jerry has it and is driving it for the next couple days while work is done on his car.  I honestly lost it.  A little back ground to the story.  For one, I don't like when Tony borrows either my car or our truck to people without asking.  Without asking being the key words.  He has other cars he can borrow and if they are not drive able he can simply tell them he does not have a car.  Otherwise Tony can call and ask if I have plans with the truck and if it can be borrowed.  We have had this fight before.  I would not just give one of OUR cars or trucks to some for the night without asking my husband.  It is simply out of respect.  This time it was not just the fact that he borrowed it for the night without asking again.  It was that he borrowed it to Jerry.  I used to like Jerry.  About 2 years ago Jerry invited Tony and I out for dinner to thank Tony for work he had done on a car then.  I tolerated Jerry but never really liked him.  At dinner Jerry had the fricken nerve to look at me and say the rudest thing you could and would say to someone.  Mind you, I knew there was a past between Tony and him, but was always told 'nothing happened'.   So after being lied to for over 10 years from Tony that nothing happened between them,   when Tony was in the bathroom Jerry had the fuckin nerve to lean over and say to my face with this huge smile and smurk:  "I got to tell you, the best sex I ever had was with Tony.  I will never forget it because his sperm was so good and the first I ever swallowed".    WTF?   It is one thing to say we were intimate, dated, seeing each other, had a relationship,  but to say what he did, just to get under my skin like he had done in the past was too much.   I was very upset and left dinner and told Tony then I never wanted anything to do with Jerry every again.  So finding out Jerry was driving my truck around town made me sick to my stomach and I wanted my truck back NOW, not tomorrow.  Fuck, I still have not even drove this truck yet and this asshole who had to point out how he swallowed Tony's cum is driving it before me.  Much less driving my truck period.  I was furious.   Screaming match back and forth on the phone.  Eventually I told Tony to either get my truck back from Jerry or not come home tonight.  I ment it.  By 8:00 PM I figured Tony was simply not coming home.   When he called me from the shop to see if I had changed my mind I lost it again.  He came home and we had this big huge screaming match fight.  I actually am hoarse today from the yelling.  It took everything we both had not to start swinging at each other the fight was that intense.  I told Tony I could not believe he could borrow our / my truck to this asshole who said this to me.  It was disrespectful, rude, and so many other things.   And if I choose not to have Jerry in my life, so be it.  He then is not to be driving my truck.  Tony walked out of the house around 9 PM and said he was walking to get the truck and might come home.  My last words were to not come home without the truck.   Tony came home around 10 PM.  I was in bed.  Tony showered and without a word came to bed on the other side of the bed. 

This morning I stayed in bed until 7 PM so I could feed the dogs and Tony would leave soon for work.  Tony was already out of bed.  We had another shouting match before he left for work.  I simply can not understand how someone can say what they said to me, and Tony doesn't understand why it would bother me or make me furious.  As Tony walked out the door I told him to go vote today since I will go by myself.  He left for work.  After reading the newspaper I went back to bed until about 10 AM when I heard Vito hit the floor.  Vito fell off the bed.  He seems OK.  Damn,  being blind I try to keep him next to me.  He knows the rules since he has fallen off the bed before.  He seems OK thank god.  It is a high fall since the bed is higher off the ground than a normal bed.  Showered and went to vote.  Came home and took a muscle relaxer since my back was hurting and feel like crap from all the yelling last night.  Of course that put me down for the afternoon sleeping.  It is now close to 4:30 PM.   Will just put the left overs from last night out for supper.  I am sure we will not say much to each other tonight and I might go for a long walk after he gets home just to get out of the house with him here.  I do know most will think I went over board with the fight, but I can not stand this Jerry guy for what he said to me and Tony knows it.  Tony asked me last night what he is suppose to say to Jerry when he takes the car back.  I told Tony to tell him the truth.  Tell him my husband doesn't want you driving his car since you made that terribly rude comment to him a couple years ago.   Hell, tell the truth, put the asshole in his place.   Why make it any other way than what it is.  I never liked Tony's past being put in my face and this one is one of those that just burns like hell when I see or hear Jerry's name.  Maybe it is the fact they both lied for years as we saw each other at get togethers and events, maybe it was the terribly rude comment he made, maybe, and I mean 'of course' it is BOTH.   The fact they lied about their history, and then the fact the Jerry has to throw it in my face the way he did with the words he used.  OK, I am ready for some comments.  Let me have your views on this.   Would love to hear how others handle hearing of their partners past sex.  Be kind, but honest.  I know the past is the past, so you dont have to go there.  Was it wrong for me to be upset for someone to say what they said to me?   How would you feel if someone said to you something like he said to me.  Would you like that?  How would you handle it?