March 31, 2011 Thursday Dinner Time

Went out for $1 hamburgers and fries last night for dinner. Had one drink at the bar with dinner. Came home and spent the night watching American Idol and then Law And Order SVU before going to bed around 10:30 PM. Gave Tony a little lovin before we went to bed. It has been a good week for Tony. LOL This morning I was up by 6 AM. Fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and got Tony off to work. Watched Live with Regis and Kelly before going outside and doing a little yard clean up. Took four out of five dogs for a walk. Bo did not get a walk today since I was tired from walking the four dogs one at a time around the block. Vacuumed and did a little cleaning before taking a couple hour nap. Drinking coffee right now trying to restart my brain from the nap. Tonight I am making left over spaghetti for dinner with a salad. I will eat a TV dinner or something since I had a big bowl of tomato soup for lunch and I don't eat leftovers. Will watch the results of American Idol, Grey Anatomy and The Mentalist before going to bed tonight. Tomorrow starts the month of April. Where did March go? It was in the 40s today in Milwaukee. With the sun shining it felt very nice outside, hence walking four dogs today. Tomorrow I have an 8 AM dental appointment which will be hard to get to at that hour. Will have to get up early to get the body ready for the appointment hours before. Hate such early appointments but if I didn't take that time I would have had to wait until May to get in to have the two teeth that need fixing repaired. Hopefully will be able to make lunch with the guys and eat lunch depending on what the dentist all does. Looks like snow tomorrow morning and more on Sunday. I'm starting to think the word snow as a bad word, its going to be April tomorrow. Read a story at the Body.com today regarding people getting social security benefits. I guess the IRS is going to start taxing a couple's income together if they are in a domestic partnership and one receives social security benefits. Unbelievable. We can't get married. We can't file taxes together even if we are legally married in the few states that allow it. Yet the IRS wants to tax my social security income together with Tony's income. Unbelievable. Makes a case for not signing any domestic partner registries. I sure hope someone jumps on this and causes a fuss. You can't have it both ways. You either recognize us gay people as married and coupled or you don't. You just can't do it to get more money from us. I am really not liking the US government lately.

March 30, 2011 Wednesday Afternoon

I did not blog yesterday because I had so little to say. The last two days I have done very little. I did get up and feed the dogs and gave Vito his shot before getting Tony off to work. Once he had left for work the past two days I have done a little cleaning and some small projects around the house and yard. It is suppose to get to 42 degrees here in Milwaukee today and a bit warmer even tomorrow. It should be in the 50s this time of year. I so want Spring to get here so I can do things outside and not be so cold. Watched Dancing With The Stars results show last night and then the new TV series that followed. Was mad to see my man Physco Mike get the boot. He is the best looking guy of all the stars this year. With the eye candy gone it just is not the same watching the show. He was on Good Morning America today and will be on Regis and Kelly tomorrow. Never a good feeling to be the first voted off these shows but he is handling it well and keeps smiling. He does have a nice smile. Went to bed last night around 10 PM. We did squeeze a quickie before the final hour of Dancing With The Stars. The first hour was a recap show and half way through Tony looked at me and said he could use a little lovin. I looked at the clock and told him he had a half hour before the real TV show started. He was in the bedroom in a flash. Too funny, had to share. Today I have just laid around and listened to music all day. I have no energy today even though the sun is out. Stella continues to go outside and lay in the sun only to come in a bit later because it still is just a bit too cold. Tonight I think we might go out for $1 hamburgers at a local bar. I don't feel like cooking and Tony always feels like going out for food and drinks, so it will be a done deal. We haven't gone out for $1 burgers in some time. Had my last cigarette today. I swear! I told myself I would not be smoking at the age of 50 and that is less than a month away. So since I only had two left in the pack I decided today is the day ... again. There is no good excuse for not quiting. It just pisses me off how these things control your life. I feel better when I don't smoke. I know it is better for me if I don't smoke. I can go a couple days without one. Then all of a sudden I find myself buying a pack and I am smoking again. Like someone else takes over my body for a couple minutes. Tony thinks I quit months ago and keeping them from him and the smell from him is harder than just quiting ... yah, right. But it has been hard to hide the smell and the cigarette butts. So now I shouldn't have to do than anymore, right? Wish me luck, it is all on me, I know.

March 28, 2011 Monday Dinner Time

Tony and I did very little over the weekend other than watch a lot of movies and TV. Saturday Tony spent most of the day sleeping on the couch or bed. I guess his long work week got the best of him. I spent the day watching a bunch of shows I DVR'd on the History Channel. Saturday morning I did wake up and within a half hour was throwing up again. So I guess that hasn't stopped yet and I have no clue why I get a sick stomach a half hour after getting out of bed. Seems to help if I take an antacid during the night when I get up to go to the bathroom. I did not take any antacids that night. Saturday night Tony and I played the game Monopoly. We have not played in a long time. The game Monopoly can sometimes last for days as you know. This time it was over in two hours. Tony got a monopoly and after landing on it twice I was done. Sunday morning we took Tony's mom out for breakfast and stopped off at the grocery store on our way home to buy lottery tickets and some food. Over the weekend we watched a lot of movies. We watched Skyline (which was about alien invasion and was OK), Back Soon (which was gay themed and good but ended so abruptly we sat there shaking our heads, not a good ending), Morning Glory (which was so so), Holding Trevor (which was gay themed but did not end the way I would have wanted), and Breakfast With Scot (which was VERY GOOD). Breakfast With Scot is worth renting if you can find it. It stared Tom Cavanagh from the show Ed. Very good gay themed movie about two gay guys who end up with custody of a boy who dresses more like a girl. Both guys were easy on the eyes and the story was very realistic. The kid deserves attention for how good his acting was. Very good movie. Sunday night we spent the night watching Amazing Race, Undercover Boss and CSI Miami. Went to bed around 10:30 PM after giving Tony a little lovin. This morning I waited until about 6:30 AM to get up and feed the dogs and give Vito his shot. He ate all his food in one sitting which is rare. Spent the morning doing a little sanding of the back door and repainting it along with a part of the wall in the kitchen which needed a fresh coat of paint. Made a ham sandwich for lunch and took a short nap this afternoon with the dogs. It is still cold in Milwaukee. The sun is out but it only got to a high of 32 degrees today. Still to cold to do anything outside. Making spaghetti for dinner tonight with bread and a salad. Will watch Dancing With The Stars and Harry's Law tonight on TV before going to bed.

March 25, 2011 Friday Dinner Time

This morning I was up by 6 AM, fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and got Tony off to work. After Tony left I read the morning paper and made myself a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Did a little cleaning of the house and waited for Tony to pick me up for lunch with the guys. Had a great lunch. Talked about a web sight where you can answer a few questions and it tells you your life expectancy. The web sight is http://media.nmfn.com/tnetwork/lifespan/ . It says I will live to be about 71 years old. I did Tony and it says he will live to 74. This is a little unsettling since Tony and I have been together 22 years this week and that means I only have another 22 years left here on earth. The first 22 years with Tony went by like a blink of an eye, jeez, I hope the next 22 years go by a little slower. It is a scary thought when you put it in those terms. Check out the link and see what the web page says is your life expectancy. Spent the afternoon taking a nap and then doing a little hand sewing of the flag out front which got a little beat up in the last wind storm. I did the sewing by hand since I don't have a sewing machine or know anyone who does these days. Did a good enough job. It is the flag hanging out front with all four dogs on it that I have lost throughout the years. Until I loose another dog I hate to have another flag made since it is not cheap to have these flags made. So hopefully the sewing fix I did today will make this flag last until the next dog dies. Here is what the flag looks like when I had it made a couple years ago. The dog you can't see in the top right corner is a blonde Pomeranian similar to the black one on the top left corner.

Not sure what to make for dinner since I am not hungry at all from lunch with the guys. Will most likely make some soup or TV dinners. Nothing on TV tonight so we will watch a couple movies and some TV shows on the DVR. No plans this weekend which is fine with me. Was a high of 32 degrees today and looks the same for the rest of the weekend. It even snowed this afternoon for a while here in Milwaukee. Tonight is the anniversary of Tony and I spending our first night together 22 years ago. Was the first time we made love 22 years ago tonight.

March 24, 2011 Thursday Dinner Time

Spent last night watching American Idol and then Law and Order SVU before going to bed around 10:15 PM. Got a good nights sleep. Tony only had to get up once to let Bo and Vito outside during the night.

This morning I was up at 6 AM so I could give Vito his shot with food and have him at the vet by 7:30 AM for another day of testing his glucose levels. After we dropped him off we picked up some breakfast at McDonald's and Tony dropped me off at home. Laid down for a while before I thought since the sun was out I should get up and do something. It is 30 degrees here in Milwaukee and the pond is freezing over again, but the sun is out. Disconnected one of the pond pumps so it doesn't freeze. Around 10 AM I drove to the bank to make a deposit and then went to ARCW to get my three prescriptions. ARCW stands for Aids Resource Center of Wisconsin. They are a God sent and I would not be where I am today without them. I hope other states or communities have an organization such as ARCW. They have Dental, Health Care Doctors, Case Managers, Therapists, Financial Planners as well as Legal Advice to name just of few services all in one building. They even have a food pantry that gives out food once a month and bread products you can grab anytime. I can not imagine not having ARCW. I do not use there Health care services since I have my own HIV doctor, but it is there if I ever was to loose my insurance. I do use their dental, therapy and food pantry. I am on the Client Advisory Board with ARCW as my way of giving back for all the services I receive from them. Came home after getting my prescriptions and spent the early afternoon watching TV. I am very tired today. I also this past week started to get a rash on my thigh and top of my feet. It looks like little pimples or poison ivy like. It itches like hell. Talked to the pharmacist at ARCW today and he said to first try changing my laundry detergent or fabric softener since I did start using a different fabric softener the past week or so. I did a bunch of laundry today rewashing a lot of my clothing. If this doesn't help I will have to go to the doctor to make sure it is not a reaction to the HIV meds. About 2 PM the vet called to say I could come pick up Vito and that his test results were better than she expected. His sugar / glucose levels are now almost perfect giving him 6 units of Insulin twice daily. So we now have to continue with the 6 units and don't have to take him in again to the vet for four weeks to have the tests run again. His glucose levels were at 133 and 118 which is between the normal range of 60 - 150. He was in the 400s when we caught this problem over a month ago. Good news for once. Making some chicken breasts and rice with a salad for dinner tonight. Will watch the results of American Idol, Grey Anatomy and Outsourced tonight on TV before going to bed. Tomorrow is Friday which means lunch with the guys and the weekend is here. Not suppose to get above 35 degrees for the next few days. Spring takes so long to get here in Milwaukee and then it goes right to hot hot summer which I don't like either.

March 23, 2011 Wednesday Dinner Time

Tony and I had a great dinner last night at Buca's restaurant last night. The food is ordered and served 'family style' so the portions feed 2 or 3 people. Narrowing down what to order was very hard. We of course decided on the bread sticks since the smell of them made your mouth water the minute you walked into the restaurant. We had narrowed down to 4 items we really wanted on the menu. We finally picked the meatless pizza (Tony's choice) and the Lasagna (my choice). There was so much food with just these three items that most of the Lasagna is tonight's dinner. We only really tasted the Lasagna last night. The food was very good and can't wait to go back again and try the other items that looked good on the menu. It would have been nice to get a salad or other items but the portions are so big you don't need to order any more food. The bill did come to $60 but I had a $10 off coupon. Love those coupons. The $10 we saved was the waitress's tip plus a couple more dollars. Tony and I always disagree over how much to tip. He wants to give a huge tip, I always think 15% is enough. Hell, I never got a tip at any of the jobs I had, I got my hourly wage and that was it. Different kind of job I guess. Came home stuffed and spent the night watching a couple episodes of our soap One Life To Live before watching the 9 PM episode of The Good Wife. Went to bed around 10:30 PM.

Got up this morning and fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. He ate all his food last night and most of it this morning with the beef flavored rice I added to the dry food and warm water. So I think I might be on to something when it comes to getting Vito to eat so I can give him his Insulin shot. Spent the morning doing things around the house. Mostly did a lot of watching TV all day since it was a very nasty horrible day weather wise in Milwaukee. Drizzle, rain, hail, snow, ice all at different points today. It is now raining ice outside. Not a good day to be outside. I did go to Walgreen's to pick up some items and 2 prescriptions only to find out the pharmacy at ARCW switched my prescriptions to them and Walgreen's therefore did not have the ones I called in yesterday. So after Walgreen's I drove to ARCW to find out they had switched my account but did not know what two prescriptions needed filling. I knew two of the three I take had been called into Walgreen's but I was not sure which two. So I then drove home and ended up ordering all three prescriptions to be refilled since the other would need filling next week anyway. These are my high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and prostate pills. I have to get my HIV meds through mail order per my insurance company. So now I have to tomorrow at some point go back to ARCW and get the three prescriptions. The good news is I will only have to do this once a month since they are all getting filled at the same time, and the money made on the pills goes to ARCW rather than Walgreen's. I would rather the profit go to ARCW. My copay is the same no matter where I fill them. Came home and watched TV and made some peanut butter cheerios bars. A friend of ours emailed me a one day deal on a DVR security system. After talking with Tony we ended up buying the system through his business Pay Pal account. We have cameras around our house and at his business, but we need a new DVR for at home since the last one stopped working a while back. The price for the DVR, 4 cameras and cable was only $199 which is unbelievable considering the DVR alone is at least $400 on the Internet. Since it is a one day deal I thought it was time to buy another DVR for the home cameras. So nice to look back on the DVR when something is missing in the yard or cars are messed with in the back yard. Making the left over lasagna from last night, a salad and garlic bread for dinner tonight. Will spend the night watching American Idol and Law and Order SVU, DVR'ing The Middle, Modern Family, Hot In Cleveland and Criminal Minds.

March 22, 2011 Tuesday Dinner Time

Spent last night watching Dancing With The Stars and Harry's Law. I do love Dancing With The Stars and this season's cast. Was a little disappointed in some, but amazed by others such as Kristy Alley. She was great for a 60 year old lady. Went to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6 AM. Vito would not eat breakfast. He started to nibble and I gave him his shot, he stopped eating then. Spent the morning getting him to slowly eat his food. I am actually looking forward to Thursday's vet appointment since I need to find out what to do if he just won't eat. Do I still give him the Insulin shot? He finally finished eating his food little by little by noon. Took a short nap in the afternoon. It is very nasty weather here in Wisconsin today. Rain, drizzle, ice, and snow later tonight. The kind of day you just want to sleep or stay on the couch and watch TV. Making some Rice A Roni Beef Flavored rice for Vito right now as I type this blog. I hope it makes his food taste better and he eats. If it works I will just make a big batch every few days for him. Tonight we have reservations at Buca's for dinner to celebrate our 22nd year anniversary of our first dinner together. Tony looked at me again this morning and asked 'why are we celebrating'. LOL. I think it is a good excuse to get out and have a nice dinner together. Will spend the rest of the night watching TV after we get home. Tomorrow I have to go to Walgreen's and the bank some time during the day. Hopefully it will stop raining but I see the temperature is not going above 40 for the next week or so. Good news. I did see my rabbit in the back yard and later in the front yard eating the bread I put out for him. I was getting a little scared that he was no longer alive. It is two years this month that this rabbit appeared in my yard. I am so happy he or she is still alive. Hopefully in time there will be baby rabbits in the yard.

March 21, 2011 Monday Dinner Time

Friday night we spent the night starting the 6th season of Weeds. We ended up watching about 5 episodes before we went to bed at about 10:30 PM.

Saturday we were up by 6:30 AM, fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Spent the morning reading the news paper, watching our home improvement shows on A&E, and did a little cleaning around the house. Around noon we went to Stein's Garden Center to look for some fencing for the side yard. I want a lower fence separating the pond from the rest of the side yard so the dogs don't find themselves swimming. The fence I currently had is from some fence sections I found. They are about 3 feet tall and a fence that tall is not needed. Plus it hid the pond to much. Really didn't see what I wanted at Stein's. Ended up buying some plastic ducks to float in the pond and more algae remover. Headed to Menard's to see what they had. Found exactly what I wanted in fencing at Menards. I little bit more expensive than I wanted, but broke down and bought the fencing anyway. Stopped off at Taco Bell for a little lunch and we headed home. Spent the rest of the day out in the yard setting up the fencing and cleaning up the side yard. Made a light dinner and spend the rest of the night watching a few more episodes of Weeds before going to bed around 10:30 PM.

Sunday we were up by 6:30 AM to feed the dogs and give Vito his shot. Made the coffee and began reading the Sunday news paper. Went grocery shopping around noon. Still just amazed at the price of food and how much the prices keep going up. Have you seen the price of bacon or coffee lately? Going to get to the point where people can't afford to eat. Spent the afternoon watching the rest of season 6 of Weeds since it was raining. Looking forward to this summer when season 7 starts. Spent the night watching Amazing Race, Undercover Boss and CSI Miami before going to bed around 10 PM. Gave Tony a little lovin before we went to bed.

Today I was up by 6 AM and fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. At least I should say I tried. Vito was not hungry so he would not eat, which ment I could not give his his shot. I finally about 7:30 made him a new bowl with more can than dry food in it and he began to eat. Gave him his shot. He finished the rest of his food later this morning. Got outside and started working on more projects in the side yard. I love my yard. It might not be a big yard, but it is mine. Took a couple pictures of the side yard and new fencing. The yard is by no means finished but here is the pics of the new fencing.

This is Tony and my 'meeting' anniversary week. On this date 22 years ago I went out to a bar named Triangle around 11 PM and saw Tony sitting at the bar talking to another guy. I had always had a crush on Tony from seeing him out at the bars. I was in a relationship at those times and so was he. I was now single so I sat next to him and started a conversation. We hit it off right away. The guy on the other side of him at the bar was after him also. Tony was more interested in me and we left the bar around 1:30 AM and met at an all night diner for coffee and talked until about 4 AM in the morning. As we left he threw me against my car and gave me the first kiss he had ever given me. We then went home with each others phone numbers. The next day (March 22nd) we met for dinner and then we went our separate ways again. Talked on the phone for hours that night. The next day Tony had a date already planned with another guy and went on it. What could I say, we had just met. He called me the minute he got home from the date and we again talked for hours. The next night, which was a Friday we met at his dads bar and that was the first time I met his family. They loved me right off the bat since I was employed and had a car. LOL. Tony's past lovers were losers so I did not have a very high bar to achieve. LOL. The next night we met again for drinks and went out to the bars for the night ending up at his apartment where we spent our first night together (March 25th). Funny story, I had planned in my head that that was going to be 'the night' since I even packed an over night bag and put it in my trunk just in case. When we got out of our cars it must have been funny to see me bring in my over night bag. That was the first night we made love. We spent the next two days together and almost every day thereafter until we moved in together May 1st. So this is the week 22 years ago when it all started. Tomorrow night we are going out to eat to celebrate a bit and remember our first dinner together. Tony does not like celebrating this week since he says our Holy Union date of May 22nd is really our anniversary. I say why not celebrate both right?

March 18, 2011 Friday Dinner Time

Woke up this morning at 5:30 AM and stayed in bed for a half hour before getting up and feeding the dogs and giving Vito his shot. Went back to bed until right before Tony left for work so I could say good bye to him. Spent the morning working in the side yard trimming bushes and setting up the spitting Otter in the pond. There are now two pumps going for the fish. Not one died this past winter. Got showered and Tony soon picked me up to have lunch with the guys. Had a nice lunch. Was only four of us today since one couple had surgery today. Tony dropped me off at home after lunch and I spent most of the afternoon continuing to clean up the side yard and get the pond up and running. Took a short hour nap listening to music before getting up and vacuuming the house. I am now watching Judge Judy and drinking a cup of coffee. Tony said he will be home late tonight so he does not have to work this weekend. Just making some left over spaghetti for him and I will have soup for dinner. Tonight I think we are going to start a Weeds weekend. We have the entire 6th season to watch and I think this is the weekend we start watching it. Other than that we have no plans this weekend. The snow is for the most part all gone. Some small patches still left in the driveway from the snow drifts, but they will be gone by tomorrow. I hope winter is over but since we live in Wisconsin we can not count on that until the end of April. We have gotten snow storms in April here in Wisconsin. Haven't seen my rabbit that I feed for over a week. Having a bad feeling about this. The possum has not been around for about a month now. Where did all my wild animals go? I wish I had a way to put a tracking device on them but I have a feeling they got eaten or hit by cars and died. I am hoping the rabbit is just hiding getting ready for Spring and having some babies.

March 17, 2011 Thursday Dinner Time

Spent last night watching American Idol and then a little news on CNN before going to bed around 10 PM.

This morning I was up at 6:15 AM and fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Went back to bed for a while before getting back up about 7:15 so I could say good bye to Tony as he left for work. I hate getting up at 6 AM to feed the dogs and give Vito his shot. But he must be fed and given Insulin shots 12 hours apart so 6 and 6 seems to be the best time. Otherwise if I feed him at 7 AM I have to feed them supper at 7 PM. That means we can never do anything at night. So I have little choice but to keep the feeding and shots at 6 AM and 6 PM. Yes, it would be nice if Tony offered to feed the dogs and give Vito his shot in the mornings, but that is never going to happen. At least I can go back to bed for a little while to settle my stomach. I find that when I wake up in the morning and see what time it is I jump out of bed to feed the dogs since it is always 6 AM or later. This getting out of bed so fast after waking up gives me a sick feeling in my stomach and have thrown up a couple times because of it. It has to be because of the med switch a little over a month ago, but I thought these problems would have stopped by now. It is almost like my body gets dizzy from getting up so fast in the morning. I would not have this problem if I had lets say 15 minutes to lay in bed and get my mind started. The joys of HIV meds. Since I was up now I read a little of the newspaper before going outside to start picking up the big pile of crap from the winter. Anyone with dogs, say five dogs, would know that during the summer and such it is easy to daily, or in my case, twice daily, pick up the yard of dog droppings. But when you have snow every day and it is cold they are not so easy to pick up. So all winter long I use a shovel and shovel the snow and crap into a pile. With five dogs the pile gets pretty big by spring. As the pile of snow melts down I have to then clean this all up. It must be like working in the sewers or septic tank business. I am sure you all must really be enjoying this story. I will make a long story short and say I got the pile all shoveled up into garbage bags and out to the back garbage cans. I still needed to hose down the area but that would have to wait since I now had to get showered and off to my board meeting with ARCW. Got to the noon meeting to not only find out the head of the board is leaving, but the representative from the agency will be leaving / moving also. We have made great progress in the last year with a representative at every meeting rather than trying to meet with them after we vote on things. There are only 4 of us left on the board but the agency has to have this board to get funding. I today was voted vice chair person of the board. I didn't want to be the main guy, but I will take the second chair. Things will now be on hold for a while as we get more members and representatives. I have for some time now been pushing for the agency to put in place a buddy system of some sort. Kind of like AAA and a sponsor, at least I think they call it a sponsor. The day you find out you have HIV your life is turned up side down. It is one thing to talk to doctors and therapists that can help. It is quite another thing to have someone to talk to that has walked in this path. I said I would be very happy to volunteer my time to anyone newly diagnosed and needed someone to talk to or lead him in directions to get help and support. I am sure it is like this with cancer or any other disease. You look at the person your talking to and think 'you really don't have a clue what I am really going through'. I think someone like myself would be of great help and more like me. We could be contacted and told of a person who would like a 'buddy' and we would contact them, meeting them at their home or a coffee shop like setting. I was fortunate to have friends that I knew were HIV+ and called them that day I found out. They were kind enough to be at my house that night, listen to me cry, give me a hug, and tell me I am not alone and will help them through this. Jeez, the first three months, if you look back on this blog, I spent each day crying and thinking of ways to kill myself. That was with all the help from friends. Can you imagine someone finding out and not having anyone to talk to? No body who can really say they understand and mean it? I think a program like this would be very helpful and will continue pushing for it. Who knows, there might even someday be a grant for such a program is written correctly. After all, we all know the sooner you get treatment and the more information you have, the greater chance you have to living with this disease. The agency is great at testing for HIV, great at counseling, great at dental and health services and all the other things they do, but there is that gap between the day someone finds out they are HIV+ and the time they get to ARCW for the services. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to ask that person who just found out they are HIV+ if they have someone to talk to or would like someone to talk to that has walked in their shoes. Hell, even someone to sit in the waiting room with them on their first visit would be helpful. It was like going into a gay bar for the first time, the first time I went to ARCW. We all know and remember that feeling and time. Got home and turned on the water in the basement that had been turned off in the fall so the outside pipes wouldn't freeze. Hosed down the side yard real good. We have no grass, I replaced it all with gravel many years ago. It is much easier to clean up daily and no mud in the spring. The dogs figure it out. If you go back to past posts there are pictures that show the side yard and gravel. Changed clothes again since I now felt dirty again from cleaning up dog shit. Took a shower again too. I brought home a couple boxed lunches from the meeting today that didn't no one ate, so I don't have to make dinner tonight. Will watch the results of American Idol and then everything else is reruns. I will DVR Outsourced. It is the only show on the Thursday NBC line up I enjoy. Don't really understand why any of the other shows have hung around this long. If you look in the ratings, the shows should have been canceled last year. I am talking about The Office, Parks, 30 Rock and such. I don't get the humor. But I do love Outsourced. Tomorrow is lunch with the guys which is always fun. It was close to 60 degrees today, but we will be dropping down to the 40s now for the next couple days. We were told to enjoy it because it would not last. It didn't. The clouds are now out and the temperature is dropping.

March 16, 2011 Wednesday Dinner Time

Not sure where the last two days have gone. I honestly have very little to write about since I have done very little. The last couple days I have done a lot of cleaning, dusting, and picking up of the front and side yard. The snow is still hanging on even though today it is in the 50s. Tomorrow is another day in the 50s and hopefully most of it will be gone. I did remove the pond heater today since there is a big hole in the ice and the heater is no longer needed. As far as I can see all the fish are still alive. I even gave them some fish food yesterday and today. After a while they came to the surface and eat some of it. They are still moving very slow and in hibernation mode. Spent this afternoon making another dance mix. I put it at the top of this page as well as on page 4 of my music pages. I think it turned out pretty good. I wish with the sun out I would have a little more energy. There is so much I would love to accomplish if I had more energy. I will have to address this issue in May when I see my HIV doctor again if things don't improve by then. Very hard to make it through the day without at least resting or taking an hour nap. Made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner last night. Tonight I am making chicken, rice and a salad. Tony will not be happy since he hates chicken, or should I say, he hates taking the meat off the bones of chicken. I might just do it for him prior to serving dinner or I will see in his face the 'joy' of dinner tonight. I do like chicken, wouldn't want to eat it every day, but I do like it every once in a while. Tonight we will most likely watch American Idol since there is not much more on TV to watch but reruns. I really don't have the interest in American Idol this season like I have in the past. Maybe it is because I don't really like any of the contestants but maybe two guys. Tomorrow I have a board meeting at ARCW. Will be nice to get out of the house. I have been glued to CNN and the reports in Japan. It is getting pretty scary with the nuclear power plants failing one after another. If I lived there I think I would get the hell out of there. Sure hope the winds don't blow it all to the USA.

March 14, 2011 Monday Dinner Time

Got up this morning at 6 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Went back to bed because I was not feeling good. Tony left for work at his usual time and I stayed in bed until close to noon. Got up and showered and was out the door by 1:30 for my dental appointment. No cavities but I do have two chipped fillings that need to be fixed at a later time. Got my monthly groceries at the food pantry and headed home. Spent the rest of the afternoon outside cleaning up the side yard a bit. Was in the 40s today here in Milwaukee. Suppose to be in the 50s by Wednesday and Thursday. I hope it melts the 3 foot high piles of snow we still have in the back yard. Making some small steaks, baked potato and corn on the cob for dinner with a salad. Will spend the night watching TV, haven't even checked yet what is on tonight.

This is the most awesome video of the Japan Tsunami I have seen. Check it out. It is like being right there when the wave hit.

March 13, 2011 Sunday Night

Friday night Tony was asleep on the couch by 7:30 PM. At least I got an hour's worth of time with him after he got home from work before he fell asleep on the couch. Spent the night watching some shows I DVR'd that he wouldn't want to watch. Went to bed around 10 PM. Tony heard me turning everything off and came to bed also.

Saturday morning I got up at 6:30 AM and fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. After breakfast Tony left to go to work for a few hours. I am really getting sick of him working on Saturday's. Saturday and Sunday are days to spend at home with me and do thing together. After he came home from work we went to Northshore Cinema to see the movie Battle Los Angeles. It was pretty good because we saw it on the mega screen. Got home and shortly thereafter got a call from my ex who owns a bar telling us there is a party at the bar with free food. Since I didn't feel like cooking we went to the bar for an hour and had one drink and some food that they had out for the customers. Didn't have a great time. I actually am starting to think I would have more fun at these events without Tony. He never looks happy, and we just stare at each other with little conversation. He is just no fun to be with. Came home and watched a little TV before going to bed around 10:30 PM.

Sunday morning we got up around 7 AM and fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Made bacon, eggs and muffins for breakfast. Spent the morning reading the newspaper while Tony cleaned the bathrooms. I hate cleaning bathrooms and do all the other housework around here, so the bathrooms are his to clean. Unfortunately, they look pretty bad by the time he does them. They look very nice now. LOL. Early in the afternoon we went and bought our Sunday weekly lottery tickets and went grocery shopping at Pick N Save. The Pick N Save in Shorewood, not the one three blocks from our house here on the Eastside that is ghetto. Made ham sandwiches for a late lunch and soon Tony was sleeping on the couch. Waited until 6:30 PM to feed the dogs and give Vito his shot because of changing the clocks last night. Figure I will work the hour time change into the schedule over a couple days trying to keep the Insulin shots as close to 12 hours apart as possible for Vito. Made an Oncore spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread and salad for dinner. We ate the salad and both of us were full. The spaghetti and garlic bread or cooling on the stove as I write this. Tony might eat a bit later, although it is 7:05 PM, our bodies keep telling us it is really 6:05 PM. I honestly don't understand why we change the clocks twice a year. I think it is stupid and would rather leave the time as it is now, today, than change it back in Fall and it gets dark so early at night. Why would you make it darker earlier at night? Guess the reason dates back to the Midwestern farmers having more daylight to work the fields? That is always what I had heard. Will have to google it sometime. Looks like Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters are reruns tonight. I shake my head when the networks do this. They wonder why the shows loose viewers. Will watch Amazing Race, Undercover Boss and CSI Miami before going to bed. Vito is doing OK on his 6 units of Insulin. I do sometimes feel he is acting a little strange and needy, but there few good alternatives and until I see him in pain or quality of life slipping, I have to stay the course and keep watching him. I sometimes wonder if I am seeing things that don't exist with Vito, maybe I should be more like Tony and just 'not worry about it'. I tend to think I know my dogs since I am with them 24 / 7. I honestly hate this part when the dogs are sick or heading toward the end of their lives. It is like walking on egg shells waiting for the shoe to drop, or in this case, the dog. He seems to either sleep or needs to be by me, very needy. That to me means he is not feeling well. I have no choice but to stay the course and keep giving him the dose of Insulin twice a day and hope for the best, for as long as that may be. Tomorrow I have a dental appointment since I think I have a couple cavities and also think I chipped a tooth two weeks ago. Thought it best to have the teeth looked at since I get the dental services for free at ARCW. No sense in waiting until they get worse, more painful, and have to wait a month for the next appointment. I hate dentists so tomorrow will be filled with anxiety all day waiting for the appointment. I will keep telling myself that it is just an exam, and most likely where will be no time to do any drilling or whatever until a future appointment. I admit when it comes to the dentist I am a total baby.

March 11, 2011 Friday Dinner Time

Woke up this morning to the horrific news of the Earthquake and Tsunami disaster in Japan. My heart goes out to all those affected by this disaster. Fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot and got Tony off to work. Made myself a bowl of cereal and spent the morning watching CNN and the breaking news about Japan. So much damage and death. I simply amazes me that something of this magnitude can happen, yet the rest of the world continues to move forward like nothing happened. I know life must go on, but it seems weird sitting in a nice warm house, with lights and food while we watch people struggling in such a disaster half a world away. Tony picked me up a little before noon and we went to lunch with the guys. Had a great lunch as usual. Came home and after watching a little more CNN I went to bed and took an hour nap. Still trying to get my mind to start now after that nap. The one cup of coffee hasn't done the trick yet. Might have to move on to a second cup of coffee. Still no idea what I will make for dinner tonight. Not at all hungry from the big lunch. Will make a salad and see how hungry Tony is when he gets home. Will then most likely make a can of soup or something to go with the salad. No plans this weekend. Was once again in the 40s in Milwaukee and the sun was shining. I want spring so bad and the snow to be gone. We still have snow covering the ground here in Milwaukee.

March 10, 2011 Thursday Dinner Time

Got up this morning at 6 AM, fed the dogs and gave Vito his Insulin shot. Around 7:15 AM Tony and I left the house and dropped off Vito at the vet for another day of blood tests to monitor his glucose levels. Tony then dropped me off at home. Spent the morning and early afternoon cleaning and doing 4 loads of laundry. I do about one load of laundry a day around this house. Today I washed all the bedding, blankets and dog blankets in the bedroom. Took 4 loads to do it all. The vet called around 2 PM to tell me Vito was ready to be picked up. His levels are better, but still not within normal yet so we have to once again increase his Insulin from 5 to 6 units starting tonight. The vet said if 6 units doesn't do more we may have to look into treating the Cushing disease. The vet wrote me an estimate of $250 - $450 for those tests. WTF? Today was another $150. I told the vet that I don't see that as an option. We have spent already more than we can afford on this dog and going down another road of tests is simply not an option. I was told to give it some thought and make another appointment for two weeks from today for Vito to come back for another round of glucose monitoring. At least I can skip a week at $150 a test. I love Vito and all but when it starts getting in the 1000's of dollars you have to think if the money is being well spent and other alternatives. If Vito was 2 years old it would be another thing, he is going on 8. Came home and spent some time with Vito before taking Stella for a walk around the block. It is in the 40s today in Milwaukee and the sun is shining. Thought it good for both of us to get out for a walk. Making a pizza and salad for dinner tonight. Just don't feel like cooking. Will watch American Idol and then CSI and Mentalist tonight before going to bed. Tomorrow is lunch with the guys, Tony has to buy lunch this week since we always have the Birthday person buy lunch the week of their Birthday for everyone. It all works out in the end since everyone has a yearly Birthday.

Been feeling a little depressed lately. Been having some weird thoughts. Spent the last few days just laying on the couch thinking about the past, future, and life in general. I think it is due to the funeral we went to on Monday. As I stared at the body in the casket I once again tried to wrap my brain around the idea that some day I will be the one laying in the casket. It just can't be. I can't imagine my mind not working any more. Got me thinking of all the friends and family that have died and are no longer around. I wish just one could come back and tell me there is a heaven. Just one. I sometimes feel like I am wasting the rest of my life away not working and just staying around the house as much as I do. I wish I could accomplish more. I used to have a career and a purpose in life, lately I do not feel any purpose for being here any more. Don't take that as suicidal, I simply wish I could and would do more with my life. After all, you only get to go around once and I will be 50 years old next month. I laid on the couch today staring at the ceiling and walls thinking that some day someone else will be living in this house. Someone else will be walking around this house when I am no longer alive. I guess I just don't understand death. I am so afraid of death. I can't imagine not being here to see the daily news and events that happen daily or see Tony, my family, friends or dogs. It just doesn't seem like this can happen to me, even though I do know everyone dies some day. I think death is going to be painful, lonely, scary, and final. Why wouldn't that scare the hell out of me happening someday? If anyone has any thoughts on death or dieing, or books they have read that have helped with this subject, I would love to hear from you.

March 9, 2011 Wednesday Dinner Time

This morning I got up at 6 AM and fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot, and went back to bed for about 45 minutes. Got back up a little before Tony left for work to say good bye to him. Showered and went back to Walmart to get the Insulin they were out of yesterday. As I was leaving a car backed into me as I was backing out. The other car had two big black ladies in it. They jumped out of their car and started screaming at me. I said nothing. The one lady then yelled at me to move my fuckin car so she can leave. At that point I saw no damage on my car so I though to just get the hell out of the Walmart parking lot with my life. When I got home I noticed it did crack the bumper and some paint came off. Thankfully I know someone who can fix this. LOL. Tony was not happy when I called him later this afternoon to tell him about my day. Laid on the couch watching TV until about 1 PM. I then went to Pick N Save here on the Eastside to make a bank deposit and pick up some groceries. Big mistake. As I was in the check out line the black couple in front of me just stood there at the end of the lane, bags already packed, and wouldn't move. My groceries were coming down the belt so I leaned over with my arm to separate my food from their bags. The guy started swearing at me and telling me 'I's can just wait till they's done'. I said I was just trying to keep my groceries from getting mixed up with theirs. He then pushed me and started yelling that I pushed him. The couple then just went off on me using every swear word in the book at the top of their lungs. Thankfully the check out girl and the manager saw the whole thing and defended me, making them leave the store. Of course the whole time they are leaving the store they are screaming swear words about 'the white guy'. The manager apologized to me as did the check out girl. I told them it was not their fault but mine for coming to THIS Pick N Save rather than the one in Shorewood. Jeez, I just hate people some days. This is why I just like being in my home. Came home and put the groceries away and am now making a beef roast, mashed potato, corn and a salad for dinner. Will most likely watch American Idol tonight before going to bed. Tomorrow Vito has to be at the vet at 7:30 AM for another round of blood work.

March 8, 2011 Tuesday Night

Last night after Tony got home from work, he showered and we went to the funeral for the friend that died. She was 67 years old and had a heart problem. Was a nice funeral and we showed the family the embroidered stitched picture she made us 22 years ago for our Holy Union that has hung in our living room since that day. The family was happy to see we have had her in our hearts for all these years and will continue as the picture hangs in our house. Got home and spent the night watching a little TV before going to bed at 10 PM.

Got up this morning at 6 AM, dragged myself out of bed, fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot, and went back to bed for an hour. Got back up a little before Tony walked out the door. Got showered and went to McDonald's for some breakfast before going to Walmart to buy more Insulin for Vito. I hate Walmart, or at least the one here on the Eastside of Milwaukee. Of course after filling my cart with a few items I went to the pharmacy to have the clerk tell me they are out of the Insulin I need and more will come in this afternoon. Jeez, did I mention I hate this Walmart. So I left the shopping cart just as it was and walked out the store. Figured I wasn't going to stand in line to buy those items when I now have to return again another day, maybe tomorrow. Stopped off at Tony's auto body shop to say hi and tell him how much I hate this Walmart. Came home and spent the day either cleaning or laying around listening to music. Took a short nap in the afternoon. I am so tired lately. Honestly, I could sleep all day if I didn't have things to get done during the day. I can't wait to go to bed at night and making it through the day without a nap is almost impossible. Making an Oncore frozen dinner for supper tonight with rice and a salad. Will spend the night watching TV after Tony gets home. Made a dental appointment for this Monday since I think I might have a couple cavities. When I drink cold watch or breathe in I feel like something is wrong. Tomorrow I might have to drag myself back to Walmart. I swear I am buying two bottles of Insulin when I go there so I don't have to go through this crap again next month. Have to use a new bottle of Insulin every month whether it is gone or not. Thursday Vito goes back to the vet for the day so they can monitor his blood. He is doing very good. Funny, lately I leave his cage door open next to the bed. The last two night when it is time to go to bed I find him already in the cage sleeping. Guess he likes his cage and his bed. I think its just the fact that he is a brat and likes knowing it is HIS bed / cage. LOL.

March 7, 2011 Monday Night

Last night we spent the night watching Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters before going to bed.

This morning I was up at 6 AM to feed the dogs, give Vito his shot, and get Tony off to work. Today is Tony's 50th Birthday. Made a couple DVD copies of the Les Miserable 25th Anniversary Special for some friends and myself. Watched it again this morning, I love this show. Called Tony at work around 10:30 AM to see if he had any plans for lunch, if not I would take him out for a Birthday lunch. He called back around 11:30 to tell me he had no other offers and would love to go to lunch. He picked me up a little after noon and we had a nice lunch at a restaurant on the east side. He dropped me off at home after lunch. Did a little cleaning before taking an hour nap. Have to put on a suit and go to a funeral tonight after feeding the dogs a little early. A friend and customer of Tony's died last week. She was a nice lady and we are sorry she is gone. Will most likely spend the night after the funeral watching TV. Was in the 40s today but cloudy. Not much help melting all this snow that just will not go away. It is now so dirty I want it melted and gone.

March 6, 2011 Sunday Night

Friday afternoon we had a great lunch with the guys as usual. After lunch I dropped Tony off at his auto body shop and I went to Regina's Bakery in Shorewood to get a nice Birthday cake for Tony's Birthday on Monday, which I am sure we will eat prior to his Birthday. Got home with the cake and took an hour nap. Made a salad for dinner and we spent the night watching TV shows from the DVR. Went to bed around 10 PM.

Saturday morning we got up at 6 AM and fed the dogs and gave Vito his Insulin shot. Spent the morning watching our usual home improvement shows on TV. Tony went to his auto body shop for an hour to deliver a car while I did a little cleaning. Tony and I took a long nap so we would be nice and awake for the 8 PM comedy performance I got tickets for at the Comedy Club here in Milwaukee. About 4 PM we left to go have dinner at Boca's. Figured at that time we would not need a reservation. I was wrong. Ended up going to a different restaurant. Got home by 6 PM to feed the dogs and give Vito his shot. Ate a piece of Birthday cake and sang Happy Birthday to Tony. A little after 7 PM we left to go to the Comedy Club. Had second row table seating. The show lasted about and hour and a half and was very good. We both found ourselves laughing out loud many times. Got home around 9 PM and spent the rest of the night watching the PBS special Les Miserables: 25th Anniversary. As you know I love this play and it is my number one favorite. The special was very good. Much better than I would ever get recording the performance when we go in April. Went to bed around 11 PM after watching a little of SNL on TV.

This morning we got up at 6 AM to feed the dogs and give Vito his shot. I am not liking having to get up this early on a weekend. After feeding the dogs I threw up again. This is 3 times this week throwing up within 20 minutes after getting up from sleeping the night. I am not happy about this. Not sure what was worse, the vivid dreams on Atripla, or the sick stomach in the morning from Viramune, Truvada or both. Went back to bed for an hour after getting the dogs fed and throwing up. I will have to talk to my doctor about this if this continues. Not a nice way to start the day. Might have to switch the time I take the HIV meds or switch the meds again all together. Might have to start taking them with dinner rather than at bedtime but I don't want to do that unless my doctor says it is ok since they might have to be taken on an empty stomach. Got back up a little after 8 AM and read the morning news paper and watched a little TV. About 10:30 AM we left the house to have brunch with Tony's sister and mother. Had a great all you can eat brunch. Came home totally stuffed. Had to even unbutton my pants I was so full. Wrote customer service an email canceling the spy glasses I ordered. They have not yet been shipped so hopefully I cancelled the order soon enough. Lets hope. It will be much easier if they cancel the order rather than me not accepting it and having to take it off my credit card. The special of Les Miserables on PBS was so good I do not need to tape the show when we go in April. Nothing I recorded with my camera would compare to this 25th Anniversary Special. Even one of the Jonas Brothers was in the cast special. If you like Les Miserables I recommend it. The special will be on PBS all this month most likely. Took a long afternoon nap with Tony and the dogs. Got up around 4 PM and now I sit here drinking a cup of coffee and typing this blog. Will most likely watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters tonight on TV before going to bed. Tomorrow is Tony's 50th Birthday. Since we celebrated it over the weekend and we have a funeral to go to Monday night, his Birthday celebration is pretty much come to an end. Hopefully he will pamper himself at work all day tomorrow to make up for us doing nothing on the actual day.

March 3, 2011 Thursday Afternoon

Spent all day Wednesday working on the computer. Ended up having to remove Internet Explorer 9 and go back to Internet Explorer 8. That didn't totally fix the problems with getting on the web until I installed the Yahoo toolbar. Even tried to do a system restore but it would not restore to an earlier time. I finished with it all about 2 PM in the afternoon. I first looked at it as such a waste of a day until I looked at it as fixing a problem that had to be fixed and doing it successfully. Had to put a positive spin on the waste of a day. LOL. Spent the rest of the afternoon updating one of my mixes. Now that I have this new mixing software I can mix the beats much better than I did years ago using a different mix software. So I am going back and remixing my mixes using the much better software. I love mixing music and listening to it so it is a nice way to spend a couple hours in a day. Ordered a second set of camera spy glasses. I finally thought WTF, I could die tomorrow so spend the damn money and make yourself happy. Made a big can of Chili for dinner with a salad. Spent the night watching the ABC comedy line up on TV and then switching to NBC to watch Law and Order SVU. Jeez, a rerun again, the original time it aired was a month ago. I see reruns are on TV again tonight. And the networks wonder why their rating are low when we have so many channels to choose from and what to watch. Went to bed around 10 PM.

Got up a couple times during the night to let Vito out. Got up for the day at 6 AM. As I was feeding the dogs I felt sick to my stomach again today. Happened yesterday morning and I even threw up a little. This morning I was able to hold it in. Had that 'mouth filling up with spit' and knowing it could happen at any time feeling. Sorry to give to much information. My point is this is the second morning in a row. Morning sickness? LOL. Tony and I dropped off Vito at the vet so he could spend the day their getting his blood levels monitored. Stopped off at McDonald's for some breakfast and then Tony dropped me off at home. Spent the morning cleaning and listening to music preparing for the new mix to be remixed. Went to the grocery store and bank around 10 AM. Got very little at the grocery store. The bank I needed to go to is in the grocery store so since I was there I picked up a couple items. Around 1 PM the vet called to say I could come get Vito. His blood levels are better but not yet where they should be. The doctor wants us to increase again the Insulin from 4 to 5 units twice daily while eating. Of course this means him having to go back next Thursday for the same tests again. Was another $150 today for the blood work they did to Vito. I can not afford $150 a week on this dog. Things better improve fast. After I picked up Vito at the vet I spent the afternoon remixing another DJ Dave Megamix. Have two of them to re post now on my music pages. As you can see I split the pages again so they load better. It seems if I have too many mixes on one page the page 'times out' and not all the mixes load. So I thought it best to keep it down to 10 mixes a page. If I have problems having the pages load fully I am sure others must. Making a pot roast, mashed potato and corn with a salad for dinner. Will most likely watch American Idol tonight on TV before going to bed. Tomorrow is lunch with the guys and then its Tony's Birthday weekend. He will be 50 on Monday.

March 2, 2011 Wednesday Morning

Tuesday morning I was up by 6 AM, fed the dogs, gave Vito his shot, and got Tony off to work. Took a shower after having a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Headed out the door and went to Walgreen's, the copy store to copy my taxes, and then a camera shop to see if I can purchase a second battery for my spy camera since the one battery only lasts about 42 minutes and the memory can hold two hours. After the camera shop I went to Radio Shack and had less luck. Looks like the battery can not be switched out or replaced. Will have to decide if I want to spend the $90 on a second camera. I want to use the spy camera to record the play Les Miserables in April. I know it is no legal. Came home and took a long nap since I was not feeling good. Made spaghetti for dinner and spent the night watching American Idol and then the Charlie Sheen special. Man is he messed up. I think he is on the edge of sanity. Went to bed around 10 PM. Spent the night trying to fix my computer. For some reason I lost my interent connection and can not get to the Internet. Had to install a new version of Internet Exporer. Hopefully I got it all fixed.

This morning I gave Tony a little lovin before getting up and feeding the dogs, giving Vito his shot and sending Tony on his way to work. Had a bowl of cereal and tried to post on my blog. For some reason I can not 'publish post' in Blogger. I am on my laptop now writing this post. Jeez, my desk top computer is really messed up. Damn it! Will spend the day working on the computer, doing a little cleaning, and taking a long afternoon nap with the dogs. Want to post this and get back to the desk top and try to figure out why I am having so many problems. I hate computer problems.