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I came on line to post and first looked to see if I had any comments. I soon read the comment by Cam on December 21st post. WOW! What a way to ruin someones day. More on this later.
Last night we watched two good movies. We watched Contagion and Final Destination 5. Both were great movies, or I should say, we thought they were very enjoyable and entertaining. Went to bed a little after 11 PM.
This morning we slept in until about 7 AM. Fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. Spent the morning reading the newspaper and made some bagels for breakfast. Tony left around 10 AM to go buy some hard rolls to take to Christmas Eve at his brother's house tonight. We were told to bring good hard rolls so Tony went to the local bakery to buy some. After Tony got back he said he was leaving again to take my car to the shop to wash it and fill it with gas. I did a little around the house and started on today's post reading comments from past posts first.
I honestly can not believe the post by Cam on December 21st and want to address it. First off I would like you to know how your comment has ruined my day. You are so negative and mean. Lets go through this point by point. First off I do know that not every gay man likes dance music. Everyone has there own taste in music. Mine happens to be dance music. Even though I do occasionally listen to older rock music like Pink Floyd and Queen, I do prefer dance music. I have to say I must not be the only one since when I go to my account where my music is I can see how many times each mix has been listened to. Some have been played over 600 times. So I am not the only one that likes the mixes I make. Why would I make lets say a Country mix when I do not like Country music? How do you make a rock dance mix when you don't like hard rock? I listen to my music in my car and during the day when I am cleaning. I might not mention every move in my day and one of them might be listening to an hour of music during the day. But if I watched more TV than listened to music I will most likely post about the TV rather than the hour of music I listened to. We did go to night clubs and I love dancing to music. Of course a 50 year old looks out of place on the dance floor at the clubs so making the mixes and listening to them in my own home or car is my way to still enjoy the music. Hell, I might even dance a little as I listen to the mix in my living room as I am cleaning or working out. I read two newspapers a day, the Milwaukee Journal and USA today, so how do I not read. I get Entertainment Weekly and 3 gay magazines monthly. Now lets move on to the flowers bullshit. Why is getting flowers considered a bad or gay thing? Just because you do not like getting them and obviously giving them, does not make them something someone else might want to get. I guess it is kinda like some people like Country music, some like Opera. Some people like flowers some do not. When did any of that turn into a housewife thing or gay thing. I just would love to receive flowers once in a while. To say one man giving another flowers is 'beyond a sick embarrassing joke' is just unbelievable. I can tell you are not a very giving person. What do you consider a 'man' gift? Tools? We have all the tools and such to repair the house already. Hell, are you even in a relationship? Do you realize not all relationships are the same and people have different needs and wants? Honestly Cam, I don't need you reading my blog and making me feel I am less then someone in your eyes due to what music I like to listen to or how we express our love to each other. I did not create this blog to get criticized about what I do, it was to help others living with HIV and AIDS in any way I can and show them on a daily basis what my life is like living with this disease. I have never read such a mean spirited comment on my blog in the three years of doing this, and I hope to never again. I will continue with my blog because of all the people I have helped and contacted me with questions and needing support. I will not let a person like yourself make someone like me feel less because of what music I listen to and like and what gifts I like to receive. This is MY BLOG. MY LIFE. I AM A MAN. If you don't like it, don't read about it.
With that said, Have a Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays
ReplyDeleteDave, Tony, Stella, Vito, Barkley, Kali & Bo
Love You guys
Love Your Blogs
Matthew.
Well what can i say Dave????? GOOD for you for standing up for yourself, even though I KNOW you have done that MANY times in the past.
ReplyDeleteCam, must be one of those men who needs some education. Especially in learning what LOVE and COMPASSION are supposed to really be all about.
I feel very sorry for people like him that are mean spirited and closed minded. HOWEVER, we ALL need to keep in mind that people like CAM need help in many ways.
ALL that said, Dave, Tony AND kids, YOU know who your friends are and who LOVES you !!!
Merry Christmas ans Happy Holidays
Tom
I am one of the "lunch buddies" that meets with Dave, Tony and the others on Fridays.
Very much agree with your last few sentences especially Dave on the above post. If Cam doesn't like what he's reading, nobody is forcing him to read it. I make the same point at the top of my blog, that "It's your choice to read".
ReplyDeletePersonally I don't like a lot of dance music, and much prefer as you know Pink Floyd and U2, among others. I don't however demand that people be like me. Simply being me, as you be yourself, isn't enforcing any stereotype at all. It's just being who we are.
Cam, why don't you start your own blog then? Maybe you can enlighten us all with your insights into human behaviour? Or perhaps it would just be one long rant against everyone around you that isn't like you?
Have a good one Dave,
Peter.
Wow, what a massive OVER-REACTION!!
ReplyDeleteOk, YOU ask for comments and opinions on your blog. You have to accept both, both good and bad or else state you don't want comments that don't agree with yours. Don't do a blog if you can't handle some criticism or feedback. Perhaps you are too sensitive and can't handle it. You asked for feedback. Honest feedback, I assumed. When you put a blog up detailing your life, then what do you expect? You will get comments, positive and negative. If you only want praise and agreement, then perhaps you should say that and put a disclaimer saying no constructive criticism or other views that differ from mine allowed. YOU made your life public. Seriously what did you expect? Close your blog to opinions if you don't want to receive opinions.
"rock dance mix when you don't like hard rock"
Um, why does it have to be a dance mix? Why not just a mix? And there is a difference between rock n roll and hard rock. YOU asked if anyone is listening to your mixes. YOU asked us our opinions. Next time, just say you only want opinions that agree with you then, if you get so hysterical and bent out of shape because someone gave you what YOU asked for; opinions, FEEDBACK.
When I said reading, I meant like reading novels, you know, books. Not newspapers and magazines.
"To say one man giving another flowers is 'beyond a sick embarrassing joke' is just unbelievable."
Thats fair enough. I acknowledge I went over-board. But please understand that some of us, and those that have gone before us have fought so hard for our rights to be taken seriously. Having a man, a grown 50 year old man talking about teeny bopper dance music and receiving flowers and candy the way a girl would, is embarrassing to SOME of us in the gay community and makes us cringe. The stereotypes about us have persisted for so long, and for some of our side to perpetuate it, is cringeworthy and makes some wonder why we bother. The fact is, I know of no man, gay or straight, who wants to receive flowers, any more than he would want to receive a lipstick set or perfume. A man receiving flowers makes no sense at all. And just reinforces those stereotypes that really frustrates some in the LGBT community. You seem to have taken on the girl role; flowers, staying at home and cooking for your husband, vaccuuming etc while he goes to work. I'm not saying thats a bad thing. But why can't things be gender neutral? I guess I'm making no sense but I feel so frustrated when I see some in the community live up to the stereotypes of girly men that have seen so many of us being bashed or worse, killed. Please understand that some of us want to change societal opinions of us, and its counterproductive and frustrating to see a fellow gay man act like a tearful girl who likes flowers and dance music. Its just so frustrating.
"Wow, what a massive OVER-REACTION!!"
ReplyDelete"I acknowledge I went over-board"
Is it just me, or do I smell hypocrisy?
"A man receiving flowers makes no sense at all"
Now who's stereotyping?
"You seem to have taken on the girl role ....... I'm not saying thats a bad thing."
Yes you are.
Cam, gays come in many shapes and sizes. You can't define someone's sexuality by saying they must behave in a certain way. The fact is that some gays may very well be "girly" as you put it. So what? That's who they are and they're being authentic to themselves in behaving as they do.
Gays being accepted by society doesn't involve them changing who they are, or ostracizing certain people because of who they are. It involves society accepting who they are, girly or not.
Something which you need to learn yourself mate.
As to the thing about negative comments, how about some constructive criticism instead of girlie bashing? Dave is living with a very serious disease and for you to rip into him like that is entirely unhelpful. We all have different opinions, but you're just full of bitterness and venom. FFS this isn't set up as a debating board, it's a blog about the challenges of HIV.
Peter.
Merry Christmas to you David and Tony :-)
ReplyDelete(my message was truncated in half)
ReplyDelete(my message was truncated in half)
ReplyDeleteBottom line is, YOU opened this blog to the world. YOU ask for feedback. YOU asked for feedback about who listens to your
dance mixes. If you can't handle criticism, maybe you are too sensitive for the net. I won't even go into depth about how
you need to mention you give Vito his shot every post. Thats a common thing and most bloggers don't write info like got up,
went to the toilet, brushed teeth(rhetorical), fed dogs, gave dog shot. Of course we know all that. I have dabbled in a private blog before and I never started each day with got up at...., gave Max his shot. It doesn't need to be said. Those are all daily routine and doesn't need to be mentioned, but, whatever. Or you complaining about money but every second entry you are down at the shops buying this for the home or that. And your vet conning you out of so much money such as testing every 3 months? I have 3 dogs, 1 with diabetes and as long as Max is ok he just needs a blood test at his yearly checkup and we go home and ring for the results later (Max doesn't stay there). And getting their nails clipped -
$5. Nail clippers. Vet supply store. Its easy to do yourself. You're being taken advantage of. You seem to spend and waste so much money, you are forever buying something, but then collect food at a food bank. On colesterol tablets? But always going to McDonalds for
greasy bacon and egg McMuffins. Yes, I know I'm being petty. And maybe its being peed off at being attacked and having my post over-reacted to. But I sure am glad I have never commented until now if this is the over-reaction and hysterics a reader's contribution is met with.
Bottom line, yes its my choice to read. Which I think I'll now re-think because of your attitude and over-reaction. And yes, I worded things more harsh than I think I meant to. But just know that some of us in the community get very frustrated with people like yourself who keep the stereotypes alive, as much as you are annoyed and upset at me for saying it. I have little tolerance for men who are clearly girls inside but can't acknowledge it and want to drag us backwards when we have fought so hard, and I do mean SO hard, to be seen as men, equal to heterosexual men. I makes me angry, hurt, frustrated and like I want to give up. But, I'm gay, I'm proud, and I can't give up, no matter how many obstacles my own kind who can't work out what gender they are, want to throw in my/our way.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was my choice to read, and in the face of such hostility I shant re-visit this blog again after this is sent, but remember that YOU take the risk of receiving opinions contrary to yours. You are the one exposing your life and inviting others in, its YOUR choice to let people comment on your blog, to let them read, critique, comment. You lose the right to be indignant the moment you share your life freely online for readers to read and comment on. YOU post YOUR life online FOR people to read and comment on. If you can't hack it, maybe you should re-think doing it or close the comments section since you are obviously not after any constructive or objective input at all.
Goodbye.
Cam
Thank fuck for that, he's gone. Good fuckin riddance.
ReplyDeleteThere's a couple of things I'd like to add to my above replies.
As someone who also has HIV, doctors involved in treating it are all concerned with my state of mind. They see mental well being as a big part of HIV treatment. At the hospital clinic I go to for my 3 monthly tests, I'm always asked about how things are generally and how my mood has been. If things aren't so good they are wanting to know if I'm seeing the psychologist. They also keep regular track of how much anti-depressants I'm on. It's common knowledge that people with HIV often suffer mental illness, such as depression and being suicidal.
Cam was IMO way out of line in coming onto the blog with a sledgehammer, like a bull in a china shop, with no concept of how that might affect Dave's state of mind. And in doing so he may also have a direct affect on his health if the mood is affected badly. His first post was mind blowing, attacking Dave's life and who he is as a person. Then he has the nerve to claim HE was attacked? Oh FFS.... get over it darling, perhaps you're too sensitive for the net?
The other thing is that Cam doesn't seem to have much idea about gay people and how they act generally. Yes there are very blokey sort of gays, often you wouldn't even know they're gay unless they told you. But there are also gays who aren't so. I know a few here (even a couple who get into drag now and then BTW, who I'm sure would appreciate some lipstick and flowers!).
You can't blame the people who behave that way for them getting gay bashed. It's the homophobic gay basher's fault, not theirs. To say it is is the same as blaming a girl for being raped because of the way she dressed or behaved. To blame Dave for perpetuating some stereotype and therefore causing gay bashings is not only ignorant, but offensive.
Cam is doing the whole gay community a big disservice. How does he expect the mainstream hetro community to accept us for who we are, when HE can't even do it?
For you Cam (thank fuck I live in Sydney):
http://lifewithhiv-peter.blogspot.com/2011/12/blog-wars.html
Cam you are clearly suffering from internalized homophobia, sadly many "straight-acting" gay men do. Actually, I think you have totally missed the point: This blog is about Dave's life, if you don't like his life, or are insecure about it for whatever reason, why read about it? I despise gay men like you, you're such a "real man" that you feel the need to put down those of us who are more effeminate? Like, WTF is that? Shame on you Cam!
ReplyDeletePaul from Canada
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