December 29, 2011 Thursday Morning

Tony got home yesterday from work around 12:30 PM. After he took a shower we left the house and went to lunch at a Mexican restaurant on the south side. Had a great lunch and a margarita with lunch. Came home and spent the afternoon doing things around the house with the dogs as we watched TV. Made soup and and English muffin for supper since we were not that hungry from lunch. Spent last night watching the movie The Help. It was a good movie. Went to bed around 10 PM, or at least I tried. For some reason my dog Shadow was on my mind last night as I lied in bed. After some tears and getting up to walk around the living room I went back to bed. Finally fell asleep around 1 AM. I have to say if I had one thing, one day, to do over again in my life it would be the day I euthanized my dog Shadow. I still hate myself for all that happened around that time. It was a tense time in our lives and I wish I would have been nicer to her in her last days. Plus the minute our normal vet was not there that day we should have waited and not just let the old doctor put her down without more thought. I would change that day, not to say the next day wouldn't have been her last, but not that day and I would have spent the night with her giving her a last night of love. It still haunts me all these years later and I still can not forgive myself for all that.

This morning I was up at 7:30 AM. Tony was already up and reading the morning newspaper since he had to have a car safety inspected at 9 AM. I fed the dogs and gave Vito his shot. I then went outside to pick up the dog poop before Barkley could get to it. Last night we had a light drizzle that turned to ice. I got five feet from the landing and slipped, falling hard on my knees. Crawled into the house with my knees bleeding. Called for Tony and as he got to me I yelled out 'don't touch me I'm bleeding'. My knees were bleeding from the gravel and the fall. Tony got me a cold cloth and and ice pack. It was painful and still is. It is something us HIV+ people always have to consider, blood, when we get hurt. It is sad that after a fall and such you have to say 'don't touch me'. After an hour of ice I took a shower to clean up the blood and stuff. Took a pain pill and and anti inflammatory before my shower. After I got dressed I figured I still better go light grocery shopping before the pain comes back. I then drove to Pick N Save and bought less than $50 in fresh produce and milk, as I limped down the food aisles. Tony called to see how I am and told me he did not pass the inspection because he needs an air bag receipt. After he finds the receipt from last February he will have to go back to the safety inspection sight. I figure he will be home around 1 PM, but you never know. Since I plan on resting and being on the couch all day from the fall it is not so important as to when he gets home. He was suppose to be on vacation this week but has worked a half day almost every day this week. Will most likely spend the day resting watching TV, taking pain pills for the pain. I am sure my back will soon start hurting also from the fall. I have at least one fall each Winter to I guess wake me up and make me be safer and more careful for the rest of the Winter. Will watch more movies tonight since not much is on TV. I am getting sad about my soap soon coming to an end. Each day when we watch an episode I just am sad and want to cry. I know that sounds stupid but I have watched OLTL for 35 years. Only two weeks left of the show until it is over from cancellation. Tomorrow is lunch with the guys. The sun is now out which should melt the ice since it is above 32 degrees outside. The heat wave continues in Milwaukee.