February 8, 2009 Sunday Evening

Today was another very good day for the most part. My stomach is feeling better than it has felt in.........as long as I can remember. I wonder if it is the yogurt type pills I started taking a few days ago? I hope it lasts because the mornings are not pleasant when your feeling like I was feeling each morning. I made us a nice breakfast, read the Sunday paper, showered, and cleaned up the mess from making breakfast. This is why I hate cooking. If someone cleaned up the mess (pots, pans, spoons,etc) it wouldn't be such an unpleasant thing to do. We then went to Home Depot and bought the new sink and pedistal for in the bathroom. Hey, when Tony gets moving on any project around here I am just grateful and move out of the way. I am told the tub can be filled with water now and jets and heater work too. So tonight might be a nice night for a bath in the new tub. Don't mind if the walls are plaster and stuff and still need to be tiled. I just look forward to laying back and letting the hot water hit my body. After we got home I cleaned up the winters worth of dog dropping in the pile that I pile them on till the snow melts like it has been. I do clean up the yard daily but in the winter I pile it off to the side in an area and throw it away like today. Even cleaned up the tenants back yard that needed it bad. It was so nice out today I felt like breaking out the shorts, well, with the cold winter we have had here in Wisconsin this year, today felt like a heat wave. I think it got over 40 degrees. Was nice to be outside and keep busy. Tony's taking a nap but can't let him sleep much longer since no one has spoke of whats for dinner or how we are going to get food. If I napped till this late I would have problems going to bed at night. Not him, he falls right to sleep. Emailed a cousin of mine today that is a nurse and asked her in a round about way how full her plate is. Would like to bring her into the know since she is a nurse and as I have said before, any and all information I will take. She has always been more than just a cousin, always a friend. Was vague on the issue as I could be. Will have to see where it goes. Actually this blog has helped, after I tell someone I can email them the link to the blog. Called my Dad today to wish him a Happy Birthday. He is 75. Makes me wonder if I even have a chance now of ever reaching that age. Not an easy call to make since I have not spoke to them since finding out I was HIV. I did speak to mom two hours after learning on January 7th but I was so still in shock and somehow got through the call. I don't want to break down on the phone in some way or give any signal that there is a problem. Spoke to him and mom for a short period of time. Enough to play the game I call 'smiles everyone, smiles'. Sounds like they will have their hands full for the next week or so with the sister and kids which is good. I hate keeping this from them but they are in Florida for one, two, I simply am not ready. Bottom line is, mom will be too busy to call for over a week so I can put that out of my head. I have enough to do just making it through the day these days. OVERWELMED That is what I feel these days. It don't take much to overwelm me. Then the panic and reality sets in and it goes down hill from there to tears. So I try very hard not to overwelm myself. I am told this is normal and I should not worry about it at my stage of learning. I am told, as time goes on, I will be able to handle more and more and life will go on. Yah Yah. Everyone says that shit.
Monday I just have one task and that is to take Barkley for a nail cut and anal extraction. He won't be happy at all and will need to be muzzled. I should be able to handle this one appointment for the day. One day at a time.