February 9, 2009 Monday

Sunday night I took a short soak in the new whirlpool tub in our bathroom. Made the water too hot so I didn't want to stay in it too long. Yah, I could have added cold water and did, but didn't want to push it. It was nice. I lit a candle and laid there with the jets on for about 15 minutes.

Had some stomach and bowel issues this morning. Got them to pass by the time I took Barkley to the vet for his nail trim and anal extraction. I could hear him wailing in the back room as they did the anal thing, poor guy, but I was told it was badly needed. Spent the afternoon reading materials I have picked up along the way or been given to me that I might have read when I got them and was in no condition to comprehend them completely. Well, didn't do a world of good since I of all people never put two and two together I guess. Since reading what I read today, since my TCell count is less than 200 (its at 106) I am actually classified as Full Blown Aids. How nice it was to comprehend that information. I asked Tony tonight if he ever connected the dots and his reply was 'long time ago'. Well, I just connected the dots and remains quite a shock to the mind. According to the Government once your listed as AIDS, even if you improve to the point of being nondetectable, your still AIDS, not just HIV+. You never are just HIV+ again, you are always classified as AIDS. WOW. Hard to digest. Guess I better step up my plan to get this house more organized just in case my time is short. Receiced a letter that my AIDS cocktail can not be gotten at my local pharmacy anymore and will have to get it mail order through a certain company. Great, this is the pill I can not affort to ever not take and I have to rely on the postal service and ordering it way in advance and everything. Called the doctors office to find out the blood test paperwork for next Monday does not include a TCell count. It is only for a viral load count. I guess I don't know my viral load number yet. I asked her if we could do a TCell count too and we changed the paperwork to reflect one. Everyone keeps asking me what my viral load is and I don't know that yet, guess this next test will tell me. For some reason I hope to hear my TCell count has gone up or improved also. Tomorrow I meet my new therapist at ARCW. When they called to confirm it today my reply was 'I am looking forward to it'. I am. God do I need someone to talk to. I hope I like her. I haven't had good success in the past with councelors and finding someone I feel comfortable with. Hopefully this will be different. Hope she cleared her schedule for the day, LOL. Dinner is done, dishes in the sink, and just going to lay back and watch the Pres on TV and CBS comedys the rest of the night. One appointment tomorrow, I think I can do it.