January 16, 2009 Friends

About 5 months ago I was told by a one time good friend of mine that I had a boring life with no friends and only had Tony and my dogs in my life. He said this to me as if this was a bad thing or somehow trying to make me feel like I wasn't living a happy life or missing something. I really never took it that way since I am and have always been very happy to have Tony and my dogs as my center of my life. He is no longer a friend and has not been since that day. I am a nester by nature, very organized, and of course you know this means I would be called 'controling' by people who really know me, Tony especially. Since this life changing event, the point of the post, is to say I have also in just one week learned I have soooooooooooooooooooooo many good friends that have offered to do anything and everything to help me get through this. I have received some of the most loving emails, calls and thoughts from friends I've known a lifetime to friends I've known through internet channels for years and have never personally met. If your one of them, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I have realized if I need someone at any given time not only would Tony be there but there would be a lot of people who at least would stop what they are doing and just listen. Even the AIDS Crisis line lady listened to me cry on day two for about a half hour. Now I cry, first time today. Deep breath. Anyway. Tony deserves a metal for what I have put him through this last week. Long time friends have reached out in ways I never imagined. Strangers have comforted me at appointments and meetings. Internet friends have sent hugs and happy thoughts. All have been positive and it is because of them all that I can even sit here at this computer and not be curled up in a ball in bed crying. Thank you all.
Note to add to things I've learned: Don't let anyone tell you you have any less of a life and let you believe it. AND Never under estimate the amount of friends, generousity and kindness there really really is still in this world.
I've also learned each person can help in their own special way. For example I can get a better prospective on meds, side effects, feelings, from a fellow HIV person if they have HIV. You can not always expect someone else to know exactly or closely to what your thinking. It is not their fault. Its a simple fact. Another example would be couples question to couples living through this. I'm hoping you understood all that. I read it twice and .........So if I don't reach out for you in one way or another know at this point I have someone covered pretty good I feel if I need someone.
I must admit I am so glad it is Friday. Days are a blur by the way, maybe another topic someday, but that means to me a weekend with my honey Tony. And since the DVR is almost full and the weather is frightfully cold. Lots of TV and together time.
Talk to you soon.
OK, that was my reflection of the day. Get back to work.